The sun was high over the good king brent's camp, his men were preparing their armor for the battle ahead.
From the last encounter with the fithy armies of Italian rabble, they had sighted a foe approaching. Scouts indicate that their forces were comprised of hairy women, and men of questionable hygine, armed with nothing more than foul language and bunny rabbits stuffed with maggots.
"THE SAXON ARMY APPROACHES"
King Brent dismounts his stud, and then, after adjusting his loins, mounts his steed, Sleipnir.
His men array in front of him, weapons polished and ready, they look forward to the day of slaughter ahead.
"My Men, listen" brent did say unto his loyal army, "We have crushed our last foe, re-sharpened our blades, and are ready for this foul legion of yellow toothed hags. I will lead us to victory today, and we shall proceed onwards, to claim the Golden throne of Schindler."
The armies gathered on the field of battle. Our father, Cassius Long-johns-in-us descended from the heavens on his golden chariot, and showered our men in "Holy Water", cleansing them, and their shafts.
King Brent was nervous, but on the surface he looked calm and ready to drop deeps, he had his lead shaman curse their sledgehammer-men, who swung their bunnies around their head, greatly reducing their effective ability to throw maggots and foul language at our soldiers.
Our champion, King Brent, and his Jester pierced the heart of one of the Saxon Captains, killing him instantly.
In a move of extreme bravery, and loyalty, the Jester took an arrow for our king, falling to the ground, wounded badly. King Brent, charged with energy, and vengeance for his fallen gunnysack went on a wild murderous rampage, riding his steed Sleipnir through the enemy ranks, casting their women into ecstasy, and their men, to puddles of urine.
The day was won, and we claimed their gold as recompense.
King Brent stood among his men, covered in blood, sweat and "Holy Water", and gave his men these words of inspiration.
"I have seen many great sights, I have experienced many great things, and I may tell you, men. This experience is better than that of bedding a woman, I assure you all."
The men cheered, backslapping commenced, as did the ceremonial orgy.
The men had earned their rest, the King knew the next fight would require more men, and he turned to his gold watchmen.
"We shall corrupt their ranks, take some of our gold, and find agents to sow distrust, and steal their fertile women. Without holes and trust, their armies shall falter." he reasoned.