There can be only one.

[Cool09]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them ...together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.

[Zumwalt]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them ...together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.

You should duel skittles.

[Tyrus Tenebros]

Pretty sure this is a repost from elsewhere on the internet.

Nice try though?

[Idara]

[Tyrus Tenebros]

I was on my phone so finding badpost.jpg was too much effort.

This post more accurately reflects my feelings on this thread

[spasm]

I stood blushing before the Dragonite before me, having noticed his erection beginning to form. I said to him "Dragonite...I-I love you...but are you sure you want this?" He wimpered quietly as he looked down at the ground, feeling remorse for having brought this up in the first place. "No, I didn't mean it like that! I mean...I've wanted this for a while...but I only want to do it if you want to." The Pokemon smiled warmly at me, and I smiled back. He lowered his paw down to my growing member and started to stroke it slowly. I moaned while leaning against his warm chest. I reached down to hold the Pokemon's own cock and started stroking it, making him wince slightly. We began kissing passionately while keeping up our mutual rub. His tounge felt so warm, so soft...it was a wonder I didn't cum right then and there. After a few seconds of this, we broke the kiss. I knelt down to face his erection, looking even larger than before. I licked the tip lightly, noticing that it had a fascinating taste. I wanted more. I closed my lips around the end of the Dragonite's throbbing penis and started sucking. This made the Pokemon howl in pleasure as he held onto my head. I continued to suck while moving his dick farther and farther into my mouth, until I couldn't get in in any deeper. I kept up the sucking motions while using my tounge to mop up the precum that was oozing out of his cock. I decided that it was time. I moved his member about halfway out of my mouth, and picked up the pace of my sucking and licking. Feeling the Dragonite's convulsions and hearing his moans, I moved back to the head while sucking even harder. Soon enough, he let out a loud howl. Cum shot out of his member all around my mouth and down my throat. I swallowed as much as I could and slipped my mouth off his softening dick. An extra spurt of semen splashed all over my face as I looked up at him lovingly. I stood up and kissed him once more. "Dragonite...I love you..." I wispered. He responded by licking some of the cum off my face, and seemed to giggle. He took one paw and gathered the rest of the semen onto it. Laying down on his back, he lifter up his legs to reveal his tight tailhole. He ran a cum-covered digit over it, leaving it moist and ready. I knelt down in front of his ass and looked him in the face. "Dragonite, are you sure? I mean, I've heard it hurts, and I don't want to hurt you just because you think you have to." His eyes seemed to beg me to continue, and he gave a reassuring nod. I said "Okay, but let me know if it hurts too much, and I'll stop, alright?" He smiled and nodded again. I looked as his inviting hole and saw that I had started to leak some precum. Not wanting to waste any more time, I placed the tip of my cock against his tailhole. We both shuddered a bit from the feeling. I pushed in more, and the head of my penis sunk into the Dragonite's asshole. He wimpered lightly, to which I responded by asking if he was ok. He barked positively, and I prepared to continue. I pushed a little harder, and soon half my dick was inside him. Looking up first to see if he was okay, I made one last push. My entire member was now inside him. He moaned, begging me to continue. I started slowly moving in and out of him. The sensation was incredible, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I gradually began to fuck him faster, and eventually, I began to feel my impending orgasm. I shouted between breaths "D-Dragonite...I'm gonna...cum...ah...AAAAAH!" Then it hit me. That unbelievable feeling of orgasmic peak. I made one final thrust as my cock shot what felt like a quart of semen into the Pokemon's tailhole. After a few more spurts, I collapsed on top of him, exhausted. I slid my member out of him and crawled up to meet his eyes. "Dragonite..." I managed. "That was...incredible..." He sighed lovingly as our lips met once more. After a while of kissing, we fell asleep in each other's arms. I could almost hear him say to me as we fell asleep, "FUCK MAN I know. But hey, do u want to watch TV on ur PC? You'll get all the SKY CHANNELS there is, AND from any country IN THE WORLD, on your pc screen!!!! Go to this website... freetv.*com/PCTV.html (DELETE the *) check it out................its cool, i've got it myself."

[Frug]

how come he gets rainbows?

[spasm]

how come he gets rainbows?

I asked.

[Fuggin]

how come he gets rainbows?

He did Entrox in da butt~

[Me]

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

[Dirk Magnum]

JANUARY, TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN, YOU TURDS. Blam this thread.

[Tyrus Tenebros]

Now go find the original posting of the dragonite copypasta


While youre at it, post Agony In Pink here

[Dirk Magnum]

Never! I've had that M&M thing saved on my harddrive for years. I choose my funny pictures collection very deliberately

[Spaztick]

"Come in, Spasm," said Entrox, his ass tensing in anticipation. Wearing only a duck mask and a silken thong gently nestled in between his mancheeks, Entrox beckoned his pensive lover closer. Laying on his heart-shaped sofa, he wiggled his buttocks playfully. "You want to taste the rainbow, don't you?" he said, a seductive smile hidden behind his mask.

"I want to find the pot of gold at the end of that rainbow," Spasm said, the familiar pulsation of arousal working its way into the base of his man-meat. Slowly undressing himself, Spasm was surprised and delighted to find himself suddenly pushed onto his knees in front of his quackmaster. Spasm's fledgling softie was suddenly a rock hard throb-monster, but nothing in comparison to the circumcised beast in front of him, a rainbow-colored condom sheath adorning his massive penis. Licking his lips, he moaned, "I want you in my mouth."

Entrox began thrusting slowly, easing his way into Spasms gaping maw, suppressing Spasm's occasional starts of a gag reflex. He began thrusting faster, faster, faster still, until he was vigorously skull-fucking his servant's mouth, down his throat. Between gasps for air Spasm moaned, but his cries of pleasure were deafened by the grunts and roars of his Jewish jaw jockey. He felt Entrox pumping faster still, the Cock of Choking a blur of movement and debauchery, thrusting faster, his duck eggs retracting and readying to cum.

"OH ASUNAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Entrox bellowed as he blew his load into Spasm's stomach, the blowback of the jizzum pushing cum into Spasm's nose.

Entrox released his one-eyed duck, spasms of sperm occasionally vomiting out the end. With a smile and a dismissing wave of his hand, the duck mask still perfectly in place, he said to his kneeling lust-urinal, "You may go now, your have your rainbow."

[ValorousBob]

Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

Heh, I'm definitely using this next time some blowhard starts posting about politics on FB.

[ctrlchris]

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

[RoemySchneider]

scooby doo?

[Lana Torrin]

scooby doo?

rooooooooby rooby rooooooo

[Loire]

scooby doo?

[AmaNutin]

scooby doo?

edit: that cookie Loire posted made me hungry.