so wait...you're single, but you're getting mixed messages from her? I'm confused...what exactly led to this split? was it amicable?Originally Posted by Zacheria Malfor
big up anyway
so wait...you're single, but you're getting mixed messages from her? I'm confused...what exactly led to this split? was it amicable?
big up anyway
First, step away from the window. A 90 day relationship isn't worth that. Keep jogging. Consider getting some counseling if that is possible. But do look hard into your hurt feelings, really feel them, have a small nondestructive rage or two, and then try to let it go, Echo. Even if you never date again, nurturing all this hurt will be bad for you and just add to the layers of shit blocking you from feeling happy. I hope you can put it in balance and let it dissolve eventually. While I think what this girl did was the ultimate in deceptive meanness (however unintentional that may have been on her part in terms of failing to foresee the inevitable outcome), at least you know the truth of it. If she'd left you wondering, it really would be worse. Hang in there, dear. Be good to yourself.
Echo, I know this probably won't be much comfort to you, but my first relationship only happened because the girl who dated me had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and didn't want me to go off to college a virgin. And while I was pining for her 700 miles away, she fucked six other people and then dumped me over the phone in the spring. It sucks...it sucks hardcore. But life does go on and you can recover. Regardless, :brofist:.
Status of Babby: 100% Formed
Had some issues which I worked bloody hard to rectify but she stopped communicating with me while we were trying to get back on track. Lost my job at the time so bit of depression led to issues.
so wait...you're single, but you're getting mixed messages from her? I'm confused...what exactly led to this split? was it amicable?
big up anyway
Some follow up txts make me think she is abit confused and doesnt know what she really wants.
Its all still fresh and raw so just see how it goes but it certainly isnt easy to deal with while having to work long hours.
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LOL
This. This is why you fucked up.
You need to chill the fuck out. You are pushing wayyyy too hard and too fast. Most women dont want to be questioned about how their relationship is going after 2 fucking dates.
This is classic neckbeard syndrome - a girl shows a wiff of interest and you are all over her like a rash with texting, date requests every 10 minutes, probably sending her stupid shit via facebook or whatsapp etc.
Hilarious but tragic
Sounds like the best thing you could possibly do is to give her as much space as possible and concentrate on sorting out your own life (new job, fix issues etc). When you are in the best possible place ask her on a date, like a first date, and take it from there.Had some issues which I worked bloody hard to rectify but she stopped communicating with me while we were trying to get back on track. Lost my job at the time so bit of depression led to issues.
so wait...you're single, but you're getting mixed messages from her? I'm confused...what exactly led to this split? was it amicable?
big up anyway
Some follow up txts make me think she is abit confused and doesnt know what she really wants.
Its all still fresh and raw so just see how it goes but it certainly isnt easy to deal with while having to work long hours.
Sent from my U20i using Tapatalk 2
While not unsympathetic to what was clearly a fucked-up childhood, I'm going to risk being a dick and suggest that you not use it as a crutch to justify your present-day behaviour in any way. I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that to grow and move on as a person you first have to stop letting the hellishness of your early life control and affect your present-day life.
The editor for the site I work for maintains and constantly dwells on this shit-list of the top ten worst moments of his childhood/adolescence. While nowhere near as awful as yours, it's no less unhealthy to continually obsess about these things into adulthood. If you aren't already, I would suggest you seek some kind of counselling.
Regarding breakup: Try not to feel bad man. Girl liked you enough to try and make you feel happy. If that's pity, then anytime anybody does something nice for anyone else is pity, which means it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Last edited by Steph; July 1 2012 at 10:56:32 PM.
Quakbot is now a better mafia player than 50% of the mafia players
Echo: She was a bitch and you did nothing wrong tbh. Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, well...
Keep on keeping on bud. I don't think you should give up on relationships, when you find the right girl it's honestly pretty easy and non-stressful. Big ups.
I know you love Echo Dark (we all do), but your constant advice that he just needs to wait and he will find the right girl is just so off base its silly. Echo has to continue to work on his own issues to maximise his ability to take advantage of good opportunities (both romantically and otherwise).
Echo, you need to seek counselling. Even in the United States of Freedom to Die Alone, I'm sure there is some charity offering free trauma / mental help counselling. This will help you confront some of your demons and that will help hugely with the anger and upset you feel about stuff like this. It will also help ensure it wont happen again.
I'm not suggesting he just sits tight and waits, it was more of a broad comment. Obviously finding help is very important, but everyone else already mentioned that. I was adding another element, not disagreeing with all the othersI know you love Echo Dark (we all do), but your constant advice that he just needs to wait and he will find the right girl is just so off base its silly. Echo has to continue to work on his own issues to maximise his ability to take advantage of good opportunities (both romantically and otherwise).
Echo, you need to seek counselling. Even in the United States of Freedom to Die Alone, I'm sure there is some charity offering free trauma / mental help counselling. This will help you confront some of your demons and that will help hugely with the anger and upset you feel about stuff like this. It will also help ensure it wont happen again.
Because if you stop being mean you're worried she'll know you want her p.bad, but still be more interested in that guy you feel she's too good for anyway.so i cant stop being mean to the girl i like, wtf is with that? also he favourite movies are some of my favswe both like foreign films. but shes still hanging around with meathead
Without doing the sensible "search the emo thread for poster's past posts before putting your foot in it" I'd say if she is not currently dating that meathead guy and you do not at least try to get with that girl then when she starts dating him, you'll feel twice as bad about him knobbing her than you do about you being antagonistic to gain her attention now.
Make it clear how you feel without being all emo and intense about it. E.g. ask her on a date but leave the invitation open - "let me know if you fancy going out on a date some time?"
Hmm, free psych advice.
You also like massages, don't you Echo?
I used to get stupidly cheap massages from physiotherapy students while at university. Wonder if they also have discount psychs as well.
Worth looking into.
Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.
"You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."
wutwat?Hmm, free psych advice.
You also like massages, don't you Echo?
I used to get stupidly cheap massages from physiotherapy students while at university. Wonder if they also have discount psychs as well.
Worth looking into.
:notsureifserious:
Same with haircuts. I used to get almost free haircuts at the TAFE when I went there. And its the best damn haircut you'll get too since the teacher is always watching if they make mistakes.Hmm, free psych advice.
You also like massages, don't you Echo?
I used to get stupidly cheap massages from physiotherapy students while at university. Wonder if they also have discount psychs as well.
Worth looking into.
This also applies for dentistry!
Yeah I can do a really cheap butt expansion deal for you guys, only like €50 per op
Spoiler:
Quick note: I get the essence of what you're trying to say, and I agree with the message of not looking back too much and perpetuating a cycle of being a victim to your own past.While not unsympathetic to what was clearly a fucked-up childhood, I'm going to risk being a dick and suggest that you not use it as a crutch to justify your present-day behaviour in any way. I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that to grow and move on as a person you first have to stop letting the hellishness of your early life control and affect your present-day life.
The editor for the site I work for maintains and constantly dwells on this shit-list of the top ten worst moments of his childhood/adolescence. While nowhere near as awful as yours, it's no less unhealthy to continually obsess about these things into adulthood. If you aren't already, I would suggest you seek some kind of counselling.
Regarding breakup: Try not to feel bad man. Girl liked you enough to try and make you feel happy. If that's pity, then anytime anybody does something nice for anyone else is pity, which means it's nothing to be ashamed of.
But I also feel that I need to point out your naivety and ignorance on this topic. A childhood like Echo's leaves scars that run deep, way deeper than anything most other people can relate to. It doesn't excuse his falling back on his past as a justification for things, as I totally agree with you that he should stop doing that. But you also have to acknowledge that you have no way of relating to him, no way to ever understand even the slightest aspect of the pain and scarring that comes from such experiences.
It's really easy to tell people not to wallow or obsess, especially when you've got nothing to compare it to. And some of those people are indeed simply weak, having got lost in their own unhappiness to the point where "victim" has become a defining aspect of their personality. But the vast majority of people who go through stuff like that aren't obsessed or wallowing, much as it may seem like that to you as an outsider. They are confronted with pain and fear and unwanted flashbacks every morning they wake up, fighting through patterns of abuse every waking moment.
Sometimes the people you think seem weak and pathetic, wallowing in their misery? They have a thousand times your mental fortitude, strength and willpower. They're just fighting things way beyond your comprehension.
Just my two cents on this topic. It struck a chord, no offense was meant. v0v
My fuckbuddy visited me today and an hour ago she went on a date. Until now I didn't care what she did once she was out the door, but today I was jelly. I am so going to ruin this perfect arrangement. I hope I'm just horny and not genuinely jelly.
Hey, I just met you,
and this is crazy
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
Fap test first?
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