[Tuesday] I forgot to post this yesterday

[Cool09]

Graduation ceremony today, in about 1/2 hour. Got my robe and wizard hat ready.

Ceremony was a success, when they handed out the degrees I got a blank placeholder one, as I had already picked my real one up a couple months ago as it was needed by my employer. Afterwards when the grads were all checking out their degrees I theatrically revealed mine and pretended to be shocked that it was a white piece of paper, laughs were had.

Many pictures were taken, I'm just getting over a nasty cold so hopefully I don't have huge bags under my eyes. Nothing a little photoshop can't fix.

[Mrenda]

Wait, you actually expect people to believe you when you say you're trans on IRC of all places?

I hoped people would believe I wasn't trolling with this. I didn't expect it. I talked to Don first because he's a pretty amazing guy, and he changed my name for me. Then I posted in the Emo thread. And in that post I said I'd talk to anyone about it on #Failheap but I wouldn't get into it on the forums. So I was and still am willing to discuss it with anyone who comes to me with questions rather than anger. I think I've talked to enough people on IRC about this now that most there would accept I'm probably, or at least possibly not trolling. Also, no-one banned me for it. And everyone at least had the good grace and humanity to realise this could be real for someone and didn't do anything too harsh towards me.

Either way, that wasn't why I banned you in that instance, but thanks for finding the logs.

First off, at best you searched half-heartedly for you kicking and banning me. Another possibility is you didn't search at all, because you didn't care. The worst possibility is you did search, found the logs and decided to not admit to it because you were hoping I wouldn't find them or have them myself and you wouldn't be challenged.

Also, there's no point thanking me for this. You come out of this looking bad, not me.

You say you didn't ban me for being trans/supposedly trolling, lets go through the logs you thanked me for finding and look at what I posted to find what you did ban me for.

(9:44:05 AM) DarkFlare: she is hot in fairness but welp
(9:44:20 AM) sofia: here's an example
(9:44:28 AM) marcus_xero: i would prefer a girlfriend who gets the whole guy thing
(9:44:33 AM) sofia: was talking this morning about playing magic with her
(9:44:35 AM) marcus_xero: i dont like to be asked "why do you get so drunk"
(9:45:01 AM) sofia: she says "i struggle to play against you"
(9:45:04 AM) sofia: I say "wut"
(9:45:33 AM) sofia: the response i get is "no matter how i try and explain it'll just sound pathetic and/or weird"
(9:45:41 AM) DarkFlare: what
(9:45:44 AM) sofia: yes
(9:45:46 AM) DarkFlare: what the fuck is that even
(9:45:48 AM) Mrenda|Work: She has issues Sofia, just be there for her and support her, let her come to trust you. Ok. You might have a problem with me saying your girlfriend has issues but you didn't kick and ban me at this point. And the advice was genuine, and I still think it's good advice.
(9:45:49 AM) sofia: exactly
(9:45:57 AM) sofia: no offense
(9:45:59 AM) DarkFlare: and then ram her in the pooper!
(9:46:03 AM) sofia: but i have no idea who you are mrenda
(9:46:07 AM) Mrenda|Work: Buceph
(9:46:17 AM) DarkFlare: Buceph is pretending to be trans for a while
(9:46:24 AM) sofia: he's p. gay anyway Ok. Usual joking about someone, but followed by the fact you kicked and banned me I'm not too sure.
(9:46:29 AM) DarkFlare: Not sure if he'll stop when nobody falls for it or when he gets bored
(9:46:35 AM) sofia: i can fix this Fix what? What do you mean by "this" here? Oh you mean you can fix this by finding out if I'm genuine or by giving me the time of day?
(9:46:36 AM) LanaTorrin: See I knew Mrenda was some regular but I couldnt remember who
(9:46:37 AM) Mrenda|Work: I'm not pretending, but you can think that if you want. tbh.
(9:46:56 AM) mode (+b *!*@griefplay-5AA78C45.dsl.netsource.ie) by sofia Oh, nope. You "fixed this" by banning me.
(9:46:56 AM) Mrenda|Work left the room (Kicked by sofia (hi)). And kicking me.

I'm not too sure what was so deeply offensive about any of that that I deserved a kick and a ban. The only conclusion I can come to is that you kicked me for being trans/trolling.

And it was a ban and kick that lasted quite a while. I'm not too sure how the ban was resovled, but I did talk to Darkflare that morning. At the end of our conversation he had gone from being pretty certain that I was trolling to thinking I could be real about this. And he told me he'd always be willing to talk to me if I had issues. So <3 Darkflare.

Wait, you actually expect people to believe you when you say you're trans on IRC of all places?

If someone admitted they were gay, I might ask if they were serious. I wouldn't kick them (if I could kick people.) If someone said they had aids, again I might ask if they were serious I wouldn't kick them. If someone said anything deeply personal about themselves, I'd like to think my first human reaction would be to care for them rather than to laugh at them.

But, you know. To each their own.

[Sofia Roseburn]

We've never banned anyone for trolling on IRC, ever >:3.

Either way, you're turning into Al Simmons 2.0. I'm sure you can find out what happened to him.

[Tellenta]

*words*
I'd like to think my first human reaction would be to care for them rather than to laugh at them.

But, you know. To each their own.

You must be new here

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

We've never banned anyone for trolling on IRC, ever >:3.

Either way, you're turning into Al Simmons 2.0. I'm sure you can find out what happened to him.

Lighten up soffles, you're being a prick.

[Sofia Roseburn]

We've never banned anyone for trolling on IRC, ever >:3.

Either way, you're turning into Al Simmons 2.0. I'm sure you can find out what happened to him.

Lighten up soffles, you're being a prick.

This is me on a good day. You should know that by now.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

We've never banned anyone for trolling on IRC, ever >:3.

Either way, you're turning into Al Simmons 2.0. I'm sure you can find out what happened to him.

Lighten up soffles, you're being a prick.

This is me on a good day. You should know that by now.

Oh, I know this mate. Just trying to get you to work on making this sort of behavior only show up on your worst days.

[Tyrus Tenebros]

While Sofia kickbanned you, I wouldn't read too much in to it from a sexuality/acceptance standpoint. Especially not from the community as a whole, which has always been pretty Damn accepting..... we even let gingers post!

So congrats on the whole coming out thing and everybody get their panties untwisted and move on with life.

[definatelynotKKassandra]

While Sofia kickbanned you, I wouldn't read too much in to it from a sexuality/acceptance standpoint.

Sofail is a prick, nbs. It's why we sort-of love him.

So yeah, don't take it to heart Mrenda.

[Sofia Roseburn]

Le shrug. He's got a history leading all the way back to SHC of being a troll. I'd rather be surprised than disappointed any day of the week.

[Lancehot]

So mrenda is bruceph as a chick? or bruceph is mrenda as a dude?

[Tyrus Tenebros]

So mrenda is bruceph as a chick? or bruceph is mrenda as a dude?

Was a dude, now a chick. So first one I'd say

[Sofia Roseburn]

Buceph is an Irishman with a history of feeling a bit shit about his life that has, in the past month or so, decided that it's ok to want to be a woman and has changed his name on some forums to compensate. He/she now thinks it's ok for him to use all of the clichéd one liner responses when someone makes fun of him. Might be genuine, might not. Sounds like it's just a phase.

[Traxio Nacho]

Buceph is an Irishman with a history of feeling a bit shit about his life that has, in the past month or so, decided that it's ok to want to be a woman and has changed his name on some forums to compensate. He/she now thinks it's ok for him to use all of the clichéd one liner responses when someone makes fun of him. Might be genuine, might not. Sounds like it's just a phase.

I remember him going on about being depressed all the time but never a slight mention of questioning his gender.

[Lancehot]

Ah. Well so long as he remembers they can't put it back on once they cut it off, I'll continue not caring.

[Drakma]

Guys,

I know what s/he is going through... I am currently feeling like I am a Dictator stuck in a Pizzaman's body.

I wonder if EntroX would change my forum name to Drakmao.....

[Tyrus Tenebros]

Guys,

I know what s/he is going through... I am currently feeling like I am a Dictator stuck in a Pizzaman's body.

I wonder if EntroX would change my forum name to Drakmao.....

Only if we get hastler as well

[Mrenda]

It might be a phase Soffles. If it is it'd make my life a whole lot easier. And if it is I'm sure it'll be a significant revelation to me and will help me learn something new about myself, which can only be good. I don't think it's a phase though. So v0v

And again, if it is a phase it'll result in a lot of hate directed towards me. I'd like to think the people I've talked to on #failheap, who have offered their support, help and friendship would continue to do so. I wouldn't expect them to however. The internet makes people very wary and a little paranoid. I'm trying to put people at ease, and I can only do that by being honest with myself and them. That's why I've said I'm willing to talk to anyone who wants to come at me with even a sliver of an open mind. But as was pointed out to me, paranoia isn't a bad thing (you can probably see the next bit coming if you're a Nirvana fan.) It does make you wary of the problems other people will throw at you for being yourself. I have no shame, and I have no regrets. I have acted like a total douche in the past and I wish I hadn't hurt people and if I could take back the offence or slight, or my own stupid behaviour or actions that caused the hurt I would. That's not possible though. I have apologised to some of the people I can remember hurting and am in contact with now.

I may seem very philosophical, and sometimes I think like I'm caught up in my own AA 12 steps programme, but I think this attitude is generally because I'm happy with myself now. I'm developing opinions and views on people I would have been afraid to even consider in the past. I'm developing somewhat of a moral code. I'm not developing a spirituality, but something like UU attracts me because I like the idea of sharing happiness and love with other people.

As for changing my name and acting different on here. Both of those are obviously true. I'm not ready to transition in the real world yet. I'm out to my immediate family and some of my closest friends. They accept me (my friends and mother at least,) my mother accepts me and loves, my siblings don't understand yet. But I can't fully be myself around them yet. I can online. And it is healthy for me to do so. And it's absolutely uplifting when so many people have been at least outwardly tolerant, and when some of the people I had the utmost respect for me have been completely caring and understanding. I feel like I'm getting to know people on FHC and especially in #failheap like I have never known other people. I hope they don't betray my trust (some healthy paranoia for you,) I don't think they will.

Sofia: I have been a prick to you at times, I've been a prick to a lot of people at times. You've also been a prick to me, even if "This is me on a good day" or something else. All I can say is I'm totally happy to talk to you on IRC about this if you want. I don't want to be caught up in any aggression, and if anyone feels like they want to talk to me then I'd be happy to talk to you on IRC too (as long as I know of you and the first thing you say to me isn't a question about anal expansion like Ahp (unless you're FMAR you big tranny fancier you )

Really, I pretty much will talk to anyone about this. Hop on IRC and talk to me if you want to. I love talking to people.

FHC

[rojomojo915]

words

You need to find out who you are before you can truly be happy, otherwise you will just go around trying to please everyone else and make yourself miserable. If that means going through this phase, then so be it. No one should be angry at you for that.

[Mrenda]

words

You need to find out who you are before you can truly be happy, otherwise you will just go around trying to please everyone else and make yourself miserable. If that means going through this phase, then so be it. No one should be angry at you for that.

Cheers Rojomojo. I don't think it's a phase though. And if it is it's a phase that's been showing signs for at least the past 15 years.