Are you tired of having to do things because some sperglord business major demands you do them? Do you dream of losing widows on gates? Sick of you and your buddies being the worst corp in your all-pro super star alliance, and being forced to laugh at their terrible jokes?
Well, don't fret, The Clockwork Pineapple may just be for you! You can come laugh at OUR terrible jokes!
We here at DROOG are modest folks, who enjoy the simple pleasures of videogame spaceship life:
* killing people nearby us
* dying to people nearby us
* playing musical instruments in teamspeak
* never doing anything mandatory ever
* sticking the tips of our fingers in our butthole and smelling it a little
* not worrying about sov or poopsock mechanics
* being bad at eve online
Sound good? Splendid! Because I have excellent news for you, videogame spaceship corporation person reading my post. DROOG is now interviewing member corps!
"But wait, TimNeilson, what are you looking for in a future wife, I mean member corp" you might say. To that I would then say, "No one as fat and ugly as you, Hope Solo." Then I'd say "Well, Hope, since you can't take a hint, we're looking for pvp oriented corps with 6-12 regularly active pilots (more's fine... I GUESS) who are US and US latenight centric. Oh yeah, you should have an FC too! Oh oh yeah, and you'll have to move to Syndicate because that's where all our hot pockets and Naruto DVDs are."
"Well, hold on a minute there, TimNeilson, I hardly know you." Hope Solo exclaims with a sense of forced reluctance, hoping that I, TimNeilson, do not detect her attraction and arousal at my presence. "Perhaps you should tell me more about DROOG and what you are all about and how you keep such amazing 6-pack abs?"
*Sigh* "Hope you try my patience... but fine, I am benevolent and wise so I will humor you. Here is a power point presentation I've prepared for just such a question..."
The presentation would then read:
A - Look at the previous bullet points above
B - I don't care about KB stats or efficiency
C - Nothing we do is mandatory
D - Crap I aleady said that
E - We mostly play from 0000-0600 eve time
F - Small gang 0.0 PVP is totally our thing (5-30 people depending on the night)
G - (We're goons, don't tell)
H - P90X
Hope Solo, eyes starstruck and full of lust for my hard body, sputters "Oh wow you guys are sooo dreamy and full of pwn. My last alliance was full of fail. lol"
"HOPE... GET OOOOOOUUUUUTTTT OF MY FAAAAACCE!" - Me
So that's the deal. Annoy me with questions and I'll take care of you provided the ethernet cable I'm using to leech my Russian neighbor's internet hasn't been cut again. You can also annoy Bussunda, but his neighbor is probably hot and Brazilian.