Seems like one of those situations where its great at the moment, with the sex and all, but will quickly go to shit once someone wants to see someone else.Originally Posted by halbarad
Seems like one of those situations where its great at the moment, with the sex and all, but will quickly go to shit once someone wants to see someone else.
It's almost certain that this is how it's going to go. I think I'll take the sensible option and talk to her about it and see what she says. If she still wants to try other things then I figure I'll just have to end the relationship, I really don't think I can handle thinking about it and I know I'll struggle to not think about it if I know it's happening.Seems like one of those situations where its great at the moment, with the sex and all, but will quickly go to shit once someone wants to see someone else.
From someone who has done this a few times before (assuming you will ofcourse):
- Set some ground rules. I for one didnt like to see condoms in her litle bin basket when i knew they werent mine. In your case make it straight if its ok to do it in the bed with others that you both sleep in. Ground rules are hard and i dont know enough about you two to give practical advice but there are certainly some a priori pointers.
- If the ground rules need adjustment, because either of you suddenly feel uncomfortable, make sure its a point you can discuss.
- Be Honest, you fuck someone you tell her and vice versa. If she cant handle the details then dont tell them. If she can it can improve your love life with her alot.
- Be adaptable and ignore first impulses, society taught you to be monogamous, nature tells you to spread the genes.
- Give it a chance but if after one or a few times it really feels shitty then just stop doing it, its not for you (or her). Accept that, it isnt for everybody so dont force it.
Just some quick easter advice in between hunting for eggs (or w/e you christians do i usually make matzes with the blood of virgins/babies)
Thanks for the advice, that's pretty much what we tried to do (at least the basic rule of "everyone involved in the relationship needs to know that it's open and not monogamous"). I think my main issue with it is that it's relatively easier for her to find other partners than it is for me (socially inept neckbeard). I think it's about time I manned up and went out looking for a new hobby that will get me out of the house a lot more as my day consists of work -> home -> sleep, and most of my time at home is spent online.From someone who has done this a few times before (assuming you will ofcourse):
- Set some ground rules. I for one didnt like to see condoms in her litle bin basket when i knew they werent mine. In your case make it straight if its ok to do it in the bed with others that you both sleep in. Ground rules are hard and i dont know enough about you two to give practical advice but there are certainly some a priori pointers.
- If the ground rules need adjustment, because either of you suddenly feel uncomfortable, make sure its a point you can discuss.
- Be Honest, you fuck someone you tell her and vice versa. If she cant handle the details then dont tell them. If she can it can improve your love life with her alot.
- Be adaptable and ignore first impulses, society taught you to be monogamous, nature tells you to spread the genes.
- Give it a chance but if after one or a few times it really feels shitty then just stop doing it, its not for you (or her). Accept that, it isnt for everybody so dont force it.
Just some quick easter advice in between hunting for eggs (or w/e you christians do i usually make matzes with the blood of virgins/babies)
That last sentence sounds pretty much like enough reason for the state your relationship is in.Thanks for the advice, that's pretty much what we tried to do (at least the basic rule of "everyone involved in the relationship needs to know that it's open and not monogamous"). I think my main issue with it is that it's relatively easier for her to find other partners than it is for me (socially inept neckbeard). I think it's about time I manned up and went out looking for a new hobby that will get me out of the house a lot more as my day consists of work -> home -> sleep, and most of my time at home is spent online.From someone who has done this a few times before (assuming you will ofcourse):
- Set some ground rules. I for one didnt like to see condoms in her litle bin basket when i knew they werent mine. In your case make it straight if its ok to do it in the bed with others that you both sleep in. Ground rules are hard and i dont know enough about you two to give practical advice but there are certainly some a priori pointers.
- If the ground rules need adjustment, because either of you suddenly feel uncomfortable, make sure its a point you can discuss.
- Be Honest, you fuck someone you tell her and vice versa. If she cant handle the details then dont tell them. If she can it can improve your love life with her alot.
- Be adaptable and ignore first impulses, society taught you to be monogamous, nature tells you to spread the genes.
- Give it a chance but if after one or a few times it really feels shitty then just stop doing it, its not for you (or her). Accept that, it isnt for everybody so dont force it.
Just some quick easter advice in between hunting for eggs (or w/e you christians do i usually make matzes with the blood of virgins/babies)
You just make sure you are not still in it because you are afraid you can't get someone better/right. I stayed in my previous relationship because of how easy it was just to suck it up than take a chance. (Not that WE had an open relationship...just her, on the low down.)
And no, I couldn't deal with an open relationship, no way. So I got no advice on how to make it work...other than "if you'd had a gun..."
Well shit my aunt died suddenly of a blood clot from surgery yesterday. She's only like 25 years older than me. Cripes.
My condolences mate.
Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.
"You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."
Brofist man, that's got to be one hell of a shock. You always hear that any surgery can terribly wrong, but you never think it'll actually happen to you or someone you care about.
Brofist, I was scared as hell when my mom had surgery and they made her sign 35874 papers "You might get a blood clot and bad stuff will happen"
It's tougher than other losses because there just isn't something to be mad at. It just happened, it has the family floored for the moment because she was the baby sister of my father and my other two uncles. It's really hard to wrap the brain around when the youngest dies first in such a way. This is going to be a hard fucking week.Brofist, I was scared as hell when my mom had surgery and they made her sign 35874 papers "You might get a blood clot and bad stuff will happen"
Very sorry to hear it, condolences to you and your family.
I think I managed to sum it up in ~words~ and if you recognize this you are one of the few people that are my 'friend/family' on facebook get the fuck out of the shadows and maybe I can give you rep or something I dunno....
Yesterday one of "those" things happened. You know those occurrences in life that no matter how you ponder them you know there was nothing you could have done to change it, and despite that lack of potential influence you wish there was something anything that you could have done to prevent it. There is no thing or person to be mad at, no outlet for you to rail against. There is just the fact that now the future will be forever lacking one very important aspect. Yesterday my Aunt Mary died unexpectedly of a blood clot many many years to young.
=/ SOrry about your loss mate.
Coming soon(tm).
<3 Entrox.
that sucks dude, not much else to say, my only advice on dealing with losing family like that is deal with it now, trust me you don't want to deal with what it turns into if you bottle it up.
Shock loss will always be difficult to cope with and this is the first thing to realise. Once you're comfortable (I'm never going to say happy) you can start understanding that no matter what you feel like, it's normal. You'll go crazy at someone over the stupidest little thing, laugh hysterically at something that isn't actually funny, cry for no reason (well, apart from the obvious) and you will bounce around.
You just have to remember that nothing can change what's happened. In some cases something can be done in the way of correcting a wrong done but generally you have to accept it's happened. Then move on to the memories, even if it's the bad stuff because they all help.
I lost my Brother which was my shock loss. One of the best memories I have though is he was in the RAF (but a non-combat death) and having his company turn up unexpectedly and line the road in salute in full dress with rifles was one of the most amazing ways of sending him off. A few of the RAF guys were barely able to stand while at attention from their tears and knowing that he affected someone in this way to that amount makes me proud of what he's done with his life.
My other loss is my Grandad but he went over a very long time, 12 years from the onset of Alzheimers through the debilitating effects of care home to generally wasting away. I can't listen to Amazing Grace by bagpipe without seeing my Grandma collapsing as he was carried in. Somehow though, seeing that kind of love and despair sums up exactly how close they were and how lucky I was to have such a set of grandparents.
The hardest part with any loss is being able to learn to cope with it. Each person will find their own way but there's no rush to find it. The things to remember are that it's normal, that you will take your own time and way to cope with it and most importantly that you must remember them.
So this chick in our social circle is highly erratic and prone to emotional outbursts. Classic example is she gets drunk, someone says something innocuous that she takes offense to, and she just flips the fuck out on them.
Well, recently she's also taken to getting drunk and messing around with dudes who are not her boyfriend. He's overseas at the moment and has no idea.
Meanwhile she's also gotten it into her head that this other dude in our social circle is bad for his girlfriend. So she has been pulling her aside at every opportunity to 'warn her' about him. I know him well and he's done literally nothing wrong in his relationship.
As a third party observer I'm trying to stay neutral here, none of this is really my business....but something about a girl who is currently cheating trying to break up the relationship of a guy who has done nothing wrong irks me.
I sometimes feel like just putting her on the spot about her cheating.
What's the worst that could happen?
More to the point, how does that compare with what will likely happen if you do nothing?
Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.
"You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."
No vindication or social ostracizing of a manipulative immature bitch? It's one of life's highest callings.
She is a bipolar, possibly obsessive that should probably get herself checked out by a doctor, alcohol probably only removes any restraint she manages to keep on her inpulses while sober.
Oh, and she wants the other dude, obv.
Just dumped my gf of 2 years over skype from nearly the furthest away i could get. I'm in nz and she's in the uk. Feel pretty shitty about it and an absolute bastard but think its for the best :-\
Sent via my smartphone so please try to ignore any retarded autocorrected errors
Joined: 18 Mar 2008
Contracts to 'Admiral Rufus' please
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks