Only thing I can add is that I was two weeks early and my brother two weeks late it changes so good luck man whatever way you want it.
Only thing I can add is that I was two weeks early and my brother two weeks late it changes so good luck man whatever way you want it.
Well I'm "indifferent" to the outcome, in the sense that it either is or it isn't and I'll do my best to be a father if it is mine.
it's a full month early which is late-term premature still, 2 weeks early is still in the "legit" range... and yeah it changes a lot but ...
I can think of 5 "coincidental" things off the top of my head that raise my eyebrow, without thinking too hard
1) Made a very vocal point early in pregnancy that not everybody carries to term and it's quite often up to a month early (which is in fact not the case, a far lower percentage is born a month early, though 1-2 weeks is very common)
2) Is her first, but she started showing early
3) When I "broke up with her" after I agreed to see how he worked as a couple and ultimately decided that we did not work as a couple, she immediately drew down all information sharing and contact with me.
4) Early in december (maybe last week of Nov), her doctor said she was unlikely to make it to early february
5) Ultrasounds showed slightly larger, but not significantly larger, results than would be expected on a normal term basis.
None of those in themselves are cause for much concern, but there's decreasing coincidental probability... and that, aside from #3, still doesn't touch some of my main concerns, such as her admitting to having sex with somebody else in the same week we had sex, and her reason that it can't be his being "I don't want it to be his." And this admission coming after she assured me that she was 100% sure it was mine until I asked a couple of specific questions 'the truth' came out.
Basically, I'm not saying either way, I'm obviously just very-high-stress level regardless of the outcome and getting a final resolution will be calming either way, but for those who missed the earlier posts the above is a cliff notes / brief summary of why I have reservations about the paternity.
OTOH I am naively faithful in humanity so the concept of somebody being able to maintain a (somewhat) convincing fiction for 8 months that I am the father in order to gain benefit is quite absurd to me, even being anecdotally aware of very similar ridiculous stories (short version, I am almost certainly, and without any arrogance given her and my situation, probably by far the most stable potential father financially and emotionally, and she also basically admitted to having been in love with me since we met, a drama that is a different substory to this, ending with I was going to entirely stop seeing her / sleeping with her on the same night she conceived if it is my child)
edit: this is not to be taken as me digging for reasons it's not per se, as I said at the top of the post if I am the father, than so be it and I'll damn well help take care of him... but that I realize that since my original posts on the subject have been lost to antiquity I should perhaps fill in why I am, in addition to being concerned about the validity of delaying a birth by two weeks after contractions have started, am ALSO concerned that this is quite possibly not actually my child.
Last edited by Tyrus Tenebros; January 3 2012 at 03:43:39 AM.
I tried to be cool and all I got was a lousy warning about my sig being too big.
You underestimate the lengths that a pregnant woman will go to to protect herself and/or her child. Single mothers will lie steal and cheat their way to security. Paternity test. Don't act like the father until it comes back as positive (if it does) because the courts will see it as you behaving as the father regardless if you are or aren't.
6.5 lb : fairly reasonable sized baby. My second kid was this size and wasn't scary small.
birth suppressant: alcohol works, btw, but for obvious reasons ppl don't prescribe this.
Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.
"You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."
Taken over a period of time that's a way to CAUSE premature brith.... and or fetal alcohol syndrome, but I'll be sure to pass that aloneOriginally Posted by Sponk
Yeah I agree. It's been an interesting balancing act, but since I am more or less legally entitled to request a paternity test when the kid is born, the "acting like a father" clause really applies to actions taken after the birth, and even then if I've already requested one and then stick around for a couple days during the waiting period there's not a legal claim to paternity still except for the DNA test.You underestimate the lengths that a pregnant woman will go to to protect herself and/or her child. Single mothers will lie steal and cheat their way to security. Paternity test. Don't act like the father until it comes back as positive (if it does) because the courts will see it as you behaving as the father regardless if you are or aren't.
I tried to be cool and all I got was a lousy warning about my sig being too big.
Honestly mate, this could swing either way. Although on the face of things you are likely the father, she's acting a bit weird over things. You seem to be going about it all the right way, so I hope it works out for you.
obligatory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt2i0ts-uck
Don't sign any papers until tests show if you are the dad or not. But it seems you got this in check.
:brofist:
Last edited by Diicc Tater; January 3 2012 at 07:44:09 AM.
apparently, if you show any intention of being there for the kid/supporting the mother, then you are liable for child support etc
Dude it really, really really sounds like the problem is you and you are doing everything you can to avoid facing up to it (or are so self-destructive you don't -want- to get better).
For a woman, your advice is p. terrible. Next you'll be telling him to ask permission to kiss her or something.Going to give you the 'woman's point of view' so by all means, get some advice from the brosefs too.
1) You hit it off quite well and from the sounds of it the 'date' idea came to be quite organically. Proceed from there - anything more might also just happen naturally.
2) Don't overstep boundaries, but I think you will know if the atmosphere becomes conducive to laying an arm around her. Similarly, you will know if she's really not into you. Observe response (esp. non-verbal ones) to actions of yours, like a quick touch to the arm. You could try for holding her hand first, for instance - maybe on the way to the restaurant or in the cinema.
3) I personally have always much preferred honesty over "pretend macho" behaviour. If you truly don't know how she feels and you really really like her, just be upfront and say that (would save that for end of date or the 2nd date tho). Nobody can take offense to someone liking them very much; the worst they can do is not returning the favour. Rejection sucks, but I still prefer having been rejected a few times to possibly never having met anyone for fear of rejection.
Right: good luck, I'm sure you'll have a good time
The best advice would be to initiate some mild physical contact (eg naturally touch her arm while you are talking, that kind of thing) and see how she reacts, if she reciprocates, and there is flirting, you are good to go.
Shrink could be terribke, too.
I saw good will hunting, so I am,an expert on this.
Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.
"You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."
Wrong film - Bared is straight out of Deerhunter
Not so much her advice is p. terrible but more she sounds like she is 15 v0vFor a woman, your advice is p. terrible. Next you'll be telling him to ask permission to kiss her or something.Going to give you the 'woman's point of view' so by all means, get some advice from the brosefs too.
1) You hit it off quite well and from the sounds of it the 'date' idea came to be quite organically. Proceed from there - anything more might also just happen naturally.
2) Don't overstep boundaries, but I think you will know if the atmosphere becomes conducive to laying an arm around her. Similarly, you will know if she's really not into you. Observe response (esp. non-verbal ones) to actions of yours, like a quick touch to the arm. You could try for holding her hand first, for instance - maybe on the way to the restaurant or in the cinema.
3) I personally have always much preferred honesty over "pretend macho" behaviour. If you truly don't know how she feels and you really really like her, just be upfront and say that (would save that for end of date or the 2nd date tho). Nobody can take offense to someone liking them very much; the worst they can do is not returning the favour. Rejection sucks, but I still prefer having been rejected a few times to possibly never having met anyone for fear of rejection.
Right: good luck, I'm sure you'll have a good time
The best advice would be to initiate some mild physical contact (eg naturally touch her arm while you are talking, that kind of thing) and see how she reacts, if she reciprocates, and there is flirting, you are good to go.
Don't see how what I said was so terribly different vOv
Man, I wish. Oh wait, 15 was terribly awkward - I don't! I have, however, not been on a first date in over ten years, so that might explain.
Seriously though, I'm sure he got all the advice he needs (and possibly some he doesn't). Cortess, post update
I'll be paying attention too, as I'll be going on my first real "date" in seven years on Friday. I'm more than a little nervous, frankly. Ironic that I wish I could have my wife on-call via text to give me advice.
EDIT: She'll be working though, I'm on my own
Status of Babby: 100% Formed
and your wife is allowing this tarm?
Hi welcome to the emo thread.
This is how you find out who's a real shc veteran and who's not...Hi welcome to the emo thread.
Coming soon(tm).
<3 Entrox.
I don't think calling her for remote mission support would go very well if she didn't.
"Wife, this is Snake. What can you tell me about the latches on a Lane Bryant ComfortFix Model 4025? I'm having trouble taking it off of Girl B."
"Why exactly are you taking off Girl B's bra?"
Status of Babby: 100% Formed
Nah, it's the "Who's Evil Sulu" which really tells usThis is how you find out who's a real shc veteran and who's not...Hi welcome to the emo thread.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks