INB4 "Guys I told my half Phillipino half Spanish wife that I think she should stop shouting at me, can somebody find my testicles? she ripped them off and threw them into a car crusher"
Seriously, if there are 2 kinds of fiery women to not argue with it's Phillipino /Spanish
This is one thing to note, if the Children are born citizens of your country and you haven't committed any crime which would justify her running away with them (abuse ect), then this is basically kidnap and puts you on good footing for any custody hearing. She is quite fucked if she pulled that.
Last edited by Aurora148; May 31 2012 at 12:38:34 AM.
I'm curious what her side of the story is, what is she saying to people about you? Not taking her side but usually it offers a bit more of a view into where your problems lie if you get both parties issues laid out.
In any case you lost the ability to leave when you had two kids, so you'd better work out these issues as they are clearly bothering you pretty badly. Hardening up isn't going to solve shit, you'll just push all that resentment down and it'll come out as passive-aggressive sniping. What you need to do is start laying out these problems in a non-confrontational way and talking them out.
Yes, because women who bluff won't stick it out till the bitter end rather than admit they were bluffing, right? She's apparently got a support network of family back home with the financial means to take care of her for at least the short term, enough business and professional skill to live on her own (presumably), and in a court she will almost certainly win custody.
Your suggestion is terrible internet hard-manning that doesn't work when you actually have a family.
Its not hard-manning, i simply wouldn't be in a relationship with a woman like that. Everything can be discussed and reasoned and if one party is acting crazy all the time and cant be talked sense into her then fuck it. No point being in a abusive relationship.
And if you think otherwise vOv to each his own.
#EDIT: Why would you lose the ability to leave when you get children? It definitely complicates things but im 100% sure that the children are better off if their parents are divorced and happy then together and miserable.
Last edited by Zeekar; May 31 2012 at 12:53:25 AM.
let's face it guys, this woman sounds like a firecracker and her potential as a mate is totally going to waste. is she being a total bitch? fuck yeah she is, and fuck her for being a bad person and threatening to abduct YOUR OWN KIDS. but on the other hand, i bet your shit was pretty solid once upon a time. there are better ways to deal with explosive women than trying to reason with them using man-logic, we all know that gets no one anywhere. you sound like you want to make your marriage work, but you shouldn't ever forget that maybe in the end what might happen is divorce. until then don't try and come to terms with her like she's your drinking buddy. she's a woman, she's obviously full of explosive femininity, so be a man and stand up to her shit. remember what it is your life's purpose is about and that she'll never be able to take that from you.
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The only cons worth trying to deal with are the throwing shit and threatening to leave and take the kids. Next time you argue and she throws something stop the argument and tell her that you really don't want her to throw things any more as it's a bad example for the children and, when they go to school they WILL tell other people about it.
As for threatening to leave - if it's true, mention that despite how angry you may get about something that's happened or said you'd never consider leaving and would appreciate if she didn't threaten to do so as it's particularly hurtful.
I don't think there is any consensus that kids are better off post-divorce.
Regardless of if it is or is not better, I think you're under-estimating the difficulties involved when your kids move to another country. Not only do they lose the day-to-day father figure, but you're looking at presumably a time-consuming and expensive process to even see them on a regular basis. It certainly makes things like weekend visiting nearly impossible.
It's almost a certainty that in a custody case he will lose, so if you feel that she's bad enough that they are better off alone, how can you also feel that the kids are better off spending the majority of their childhood with her and not him? Seems contradictory.
C-2 mate I guess you need to ask yourself, aside from the pros and cons, do you love her or at least still like her as a human being, and if so and you think it's worth the effort to save what you have, then you need a good talk and maybe couples therapy.
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strangle the fucking bitch and dump her in the lake
i hate crazy with a white fiery hot hate. burn them all
ingame: AntonioBanderas
Detecting epic potential, expecting epic fail.Ah yes, the fork: The poor man's trident
Needs less ultimatum and more counselling.
Blah blah tapatalk
Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.
"You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."
Does she drink? The verbal outbursts sound similar to my experience with angry drunk alcoholics. Does she remember/apologize for throwing shit or does she go to sleep and wake up with an apparent 'clean slate'?
Regardless of the cause you should try and deal with it asap, probably with some sort of joint counselling. Having one parent constantly angry will fuck up your kids.
It's also worth asking... Are you being a dick? Passive aggressive? Critical? Absent? Inattentive? Is she bitching about something real that you can change? Is she in need of attention (that you aren't giving her because you're e.g. shitpoasting)? A vacation away from looking after the kids? Don't get me wrong, I think her behavior as described by you is reprehensible but that doesn't mean that it may not be rooted in some validity that she isn't able to express sensibly. Or has she expressed it sensibly and you haven't noticed...?
It's kind of weird, for example, to complain about her response to messes. Just because you don't like messes doesn't mean that you like cleaning them up. Isn't this something that you could pro-actively fix to reduce the stress level in the marriage? Make an effort to clean more yourself or get a cleaner?
If you think that she's serious about threatening to leave then you might want to start a journal recording things like the exact date/time she throws stuff, what she threw, where the kids were, abusive things that she says, etc. Obviously don't ever get caught doing this.
Giving her a seeing to might help. Under serviced women are dangerous.
It sounds like there's something else up there though. Can you find out what the problem actually is?
If this was me I'd be finding out what was annoying SWMBO into picking a fight with me all the time for giggles. I am lucky enough to have a wife who will generally explain it for me.
Also, you say... once a month? Do you know when she has the painters in?
If not, you should maybe start making a note in your diary so you can be extra nice around this time.
edit
Sounds like she needs a job.
Last edited by spm1138; May 31 2012 at 10:31:52 AM.
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