This one is definitely not a scam. Last stage of a job I've been undergoing assessment for for months.
This one is definitely not a scam. Last stage of a job I've been undergoing assessment for for months.
It's easier said than done, but this is definitely very important. Employers want somebody who can get shit done and you want something you can say you were responsible for the group achieving.Originally Posted by Lallante
Ugh, fuck that one where they, unannounced, individually give everyone a piece of info about 15mins into a timed group activity, and it takes you all about 5 mins to work out you didn't get the same as the rest (some get corp-charity fluff, some news that the budget's halved). Cheap trick, real-world you'd have an email-chain to know who's got a copy, or just do a private IM to check that whoever needs to know does without interrupting the 'meeting' you're all in.
Indeed, there is the "Why didn't he take it" aspect. The job itself sounds great, the problem is the location. I've already been in Holland longer than I had planned, and putting the rest of my life on hold for another four years to stay here for this is very unappealing. If the job was anywhere else, I'd be jumping at it.
I know the North, indeed! It is marginally better; still rubbish compared to places such as the UK, USA, Australia, etc, but preferable to the Southwest. The problem is, it's a hell of a commute from Groningen to Rotterdam! However, if it was financially viable to rent out the apartment I own here in the city and rent a small place in a village or something, things would be much more bearable. A beer sounds good, I shall take you up on that!Well, have you checked out Twente, the upper north of Groningen, etc? Ah well, haters gonna hate
If the company you are working for is indeed Shell, there should be ample opportunity to (at some point) move all around the globe. There are less urban areas to live in that are still not that far away from The Hague, would that make it palatable for you for the four years you have to stay here?
In the end it comes down to your own preferences, and you probably already know what you're going to decide. Amirite? Good luck though(And if you ever want to meet up for a beer to complain, drop me a PM - but only if I am allowed to complain about the life of a civil servant in return ;-) )
The reasons I want to remain in this role for another 10-12 months are: interesting projects which I am currently running, which is more responsibility than usual at my level, and also the fact that I'm working on this big Canadian project; if it goes ahead I'll be perfectly placed to get a role on the project through detailed design (somewhere like Japan) and then into construction in the wilds of Canada. This would be pretty much perfect. If I go to the refinery, and this project does go ahead, I'll be kicking myself for missing it.honestly listen to Lall here, no company of any true size is worth sticking with any more. Even if they treat you well it's only so you don't leave before they're ready to replace you, the trick is to move first on your own terms, rather than letting employers dictate terms to you.
Why specifically do you want to stay where you are? do you have a reason? In my own experience you should always have a goal in mind, whether it's training, resume building, or whatever. Staying put because you're comfortable isn't a good idea.
Last edited by Katamarino; February 9 2012 at 01:44:27 PM.
Could you not in some way tell them this, that it's sensible for you to consider the team you're already responsible for & committed to, rather than leaving them if/when they get a big break?
Not taking an offered promotion is rarely a good career move. People usually don't bother offering twice.
this.
Anyone sensible and serious about their career would take the offer then look to move employers after a year or so if the details didn't suit them.
Trying to cling to your current job because it is warm, comforting and familiar, which you admit involves more responsibility than the job-title should require, is a classic "loser" mistake.
Even if you enjoy the new job less in the short term, you should still take it because of the prospects it opens up. Also sticking to one employer for life is a classic "loser" mistake too.
You have to play to win in these things.
As somebody who just changed employers, going from "IT Dept Associate Director" and a job where I did fuck all every day, to "Systems Administrator number 993939" and a larger workload and about 15% higher pay, I can confirm what he said.
Just because you like it where you are doesn't mean you should stay there forever.
Hi guys i dunno what to do my brother committed suicide yesterday.
I don't know whether to go and see his body or not? or keep the memory of him being alive i only saw him 11 days ago.
I'm in shock he was one of the people who would say suicide is the cowards way out.
spoke to a friend who saw his brother after he died and he wished he hadn't.
anyone have experience of this?
fuuuuck...
I'm not even going to touch this post other than to say:
TALK TO PEOPLE, even if you can't do it right now, find people you can talk to about it.
Seriously.
Not sure where to start mate. If my brother topped himself i'd be too busy rage screaming to do much else. I had a friend suicide back in '99, last person to see him alive, etc. Never saw the body (both in ARMY together, did it all of 3 meters from where I was sleeping in his own room). In that instance I was glad I didn't? Hung himself, so not pretty to look at i'm told.
But possibly in terms of closure as long as it isn't too horrific, would be the only reason i'd suggest seeing the body. When my Grandmother died I never did, and it's been a weird period of unfeeling because I never saw her 'gone'. So for that reason only would I possibly suggest seeing his body before the funeral. If you can grieve without it, do.
Nothing can make this sort of loss feel better, but when you feel it, remember that the intense grief does lessen with time.
/brofist.
Going to add: Meths, don't do anything stupid, no matter how you feel right now, it'll get better.
And seriously, find somebody you can talk to about it, bottling it up for years will come back to bite you in the ass.
If it was a non-violent end, then maybe the funeral would be better (if it's open casket) for viewing.
I don't get open casket funerals, it seems somehow vulgar
Thanks for the advice guys been speaking to my mrs and sister and cousin , my mum and dad passed away in the last 10 years aswell mum 2003 dad 2009 but this has hit me harder .
i cant believe he did this im angry with him my sis has split up with her partner because he raped her and my gran is in hospital with bowel cancer.
he hung himself according to the police but im hoping it was accidental , otherwise im gonna be more mad.
Being angry at him won't bring him back, if I were you I'd try to focus on all the good parts of him, irregardless of how he died.
Big ups bro :V
cheers dude i know i shouldn't be angry, he was my rock and i miss him.Being angry at him won't bring him back, if I were you I'd try to focus on all the good parts of him, irregardless of how he died.
Big ups bro :V
I am very sorry Meths. Go home to your family if you have the option or the next best thing that you consider to be your family. Only thing of real advice I can give. Do this ASAP. Don't try to think about it, just get together with the family before anything else first.
On the matter of seeing him or not: I am not in the posession of enough information but from my personal experience with departed family members (none of them commited suicide though), I still regret that I couldn't be there when they died. Two of my closer family members died and I couldn't wave a proper goodbye to them. Seeing them dead in the coffin didn't help with that emotion, it even enforced it and I have a feeling of remorse up until today when I think about it. So, I can't say yay or nay, but it's about you. Do you think you want to see him one last time, because you couldn't say farewell to him or do you think this wouldn't improve the situation? This is now only about you, not about him anymore. He doesn't care anymore. This might sound harsh, but it's true. Think about you now.
For what it's worth: It might be worth liaising with other family members/brothers & your friends to see what they're planning to do in the next few days. If others are going to see your brother, you might want to go if not with them then at the same time. Feeling angry is not unusual but I would suggest that if your anger doesn't subside, involving yourself in the arrangements up to & including the funeral will give you something to keep your mind focused. Helping with your brothers send off will give you an opportunity to remember the good times & keep you from getting locked in a cycle of anger & guilt which will eat you up if you get stuck in a position where you have no one you're willing to talk to & nothing to do but be locked in your thoughts.
As for finding someone to talk to, I would recommend they be a friend who knew your brother but was not too "close" to him. In opening yourself up to someone, you want to be able to express every & any thought, emotion, memory that you need to without hurting the listener in the process. Listener is the key word, as their role in this exercise is you let you unburden yourself, not unburden themselves onto you. They will also need to be someone you can speak to more than once over a long period of time, because one conversation is never enough. It's a lot to ask of someone, but that's what friends are for.
Also, here's hoping us collection of arseburger internet nerds can help in some small way with your grieving process.
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