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Thread: The Serious Mental Health Thread

  1. #3501
    Cosmin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sacul View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Ever had that feeling everything is crashing down despite all efforts in building? Crushing anxiety and panic? One easy way out?

    Yeah, just hit me. Thanks, Obama.


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    I should read this thread more....

    How you feeling now? Want to elaborate or did it pass?

    Have some bellbottoms (2:00 onwards)
    I've had an emergency therapy session and it helped, however last night it happened again. I feel I'm on the edge of things, but trying to hold it together. It takes ungodly amounts of effort because it isn't only about me and I'm the less frail psychologically in this whole thing. Could elaborate on PM if you want to know more, I'm not keen on public poasting this (did in the emo thread but deletededed it ).

    Talked to my psychologist today and scheduled another session, but I feel this runs deeper than what I can talk to him about and it feels like a pointless uphill battle. Last night was an eye opener that logic doesn't always work - it can actually be harmful in certain situations - and this actually managed to strangle hope for me, it was one of the key elements that always seemed to work. Apparently, resentment still builds up and shit can just blow up at any time. Also managed somehow to have 3-4 panic attacks yesterday - felt completely awkward and scary af since I have never experienced one (never had a reason to), all built on feelings of deja vu and extreme fear that something bad is going to happen. Complete with tachycardia and chest pain and tremors and shit (I'm a good enough clinician to prove to myself it's nothing organic).

    It's just the hopelessness that I'm trying to rationalise and it isn't working so good anymore because without logic and reason how can one achieve a degree of equilibrium and if these are rejected (for various reasons, unimportant now), how can I be sure shit won't hit the fan later on down the stream? I mean I expect it to at one point, but it feels like bringing a knife to a gun fight and I'm not exactly Rambo to kill a platoon of hapless AK wielders with a butter knife.
    Guns make the news, science doesn't.
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  2. #3502
    Movember '12 Best Facial Hair Movember 2012Donor Lallante's Avatar
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    I feel this runs deeper than what I can talk to him about
    Have you ever considered trying pushing through this feeling and just talking about it anyway? Or is that too hard/painful?

  3. #3503
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    Actually cancelled today's session because I feel it isn't all right to jump to my counsellor every time shit hits the fan. And it hit the fan massively today from a professional pov (got paid 50% of my salary, what the actual fuck, and I can't discuss it cuz I don't have my reference number and not in the UK to go and talk to them so fml).

    Took a few deep breaths and tried to enjoy what I have close to me. And it works. Consequently, it is refreshing having the backup psychologist a phone call away (he told me I can call him if it becomes way too much). No panic attacks today and I hope it was just a glitch in the matrix (ikr four times is a bit much, still, was the first time ever so hopefully it won't happen again).

    Deep sigh, keeping calm and carrying on.


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  4. #3504
    Movember '11 Ginger Excellence Movember 2011Movember 2012 sarabando's Avatar
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    Good times for me, getting bullied at work so i took yesterday off due to feeling like a sack of shit, stupidly decided to go back in today and now feeling worse.

    im trying to distract myself with my writing but the depression is just blunting what i want to say instead of using creative language and being really descriptive like i am normally its all coming out really short and disjointed so il probably stop.

  5. #3505
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarabando View Post
    Good times for me, getting bullied at work so i took yesterday off due to feeling like a sack of shit, stupidly decided to go back in today and now feeling worse.

    im trying to distract myself with my writing but the depression is just blunting what i want to say instead of using creative language and being really descriptive like i am normally its all coming out really short and disjointed so il probably stop.
    Maybe try writing about the depression? Felt really shitty one night, wrote a poem. I have no clue how that happened. But did. Felt better afterwards as well.

    Damn literature degree showing or something.
    nevar forget

  6. #3506
    Djan Seriy Anaplian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarabando View Post
    Good times for me, getting bullied at work so i took yesterday off due to feeling like a sack of shit, stupidly decided to go back in today and now feeling worse.

    im trying to distract myself with my writing but the depression is just blunting what i want to say instead of using creative language and being really descriptive like i am normally its all coming out really short and disjointed so il probably stop.
    What does the bullying entail mate? How overt is it/perpetrated by whom?

  7. #3507
    Movember '11 Ginger Excellence Movember 2011Movember 2012 sarabando's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Djan Seriy Anaplian View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sarabando View Post
    Good times for me, getting bullied at work so i took yesterday off due to feeling like a sack of shit, stupidly decided to go back in today and now feeling worse.

    im trying to distract myself with my writing but the depression is just blunting what i want to say instead of using creative language and being really descriptive like i am normally its all coming out really short and disjointed so il probably stop.
    What does the bullying entail mate? How overt is it/perpetrated by whom?
    every one on my team really. Its little things really just little comments constantly, im sure if i wasnt already messed up i wouldnt care its just more things piling ontop of me

  8. #3508
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    If it goes beyond a certain point you may want to escalate it with official complaints? Not sure how that would work out though.


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  9. #3509
    Djan Seriy Anaplian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarabando View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Djan Seriy Anaplian View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by sarabando View Post
    Good times for me, getting bullied at work so i took yesterday off due to feeling like a sack of shit, stupidly decided to go back in today and now feeling worse.

    im trying to distract myself with my writing but the depression is just blunting what i want to say instead of using creative language and being really descriptive like i am normally its all coming out really short and disjointed so il probably stop.
    What does the bullying entail mate? How overt is it/perpetrated by whom?
    every one on my team really. Its little things really just little comments constantly, im sure if i wasnt already messed up i wouldnt care its just more things piling ontop of me
    If it's all of them do you think it's perceived as 'banter'? If so it might be worth just speaking to your team leader (assuming you have one) and informing him/her that you're really not enjoying it.

  10. #3510

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightFallsFast View Post
    So. After being almost hospitalized during what my psychiatrist called a "hypo-manic episode" last week; I am now in treatment (sans hospitalization) and on Zyprexa. Going to be further evaluated, but they seem to be working quite well. Not hypo-manic now at least, and getting lots of sleep. My headache has also gone away, so maybe that was related to the stress of not telling anybody. Who knows. Also, almost jumped off a bridge, but nobody saw that, so managed to downplay it enough when I told my psychiatrist to avoid hospitalization. No inclination of ever going close to a bridge again ; that shit was too tempting. So - hooray I guess. Doing a evaluation and diagnostic test next week (DSM-V).
    So. Turns out I suffer from bipolar disorder. After being diagnosed, and medicated (hello Seroquel) I am stable (mostly) and all headaches and similar physical manifestations have gone into hiding. Still have a lot of therapy to do (and do that weekly) to address anger issues and some other stuff (depression fueled suicidal thoughts for one), but in general doing much better. Turns out talking to a psychiatrist wasn't a bad idea after all.

  11. #3511

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    Glad to hear it, sounds like you're doing much better! Just finding out what the problem actually is helps a lot IME....once you realise it's a known "thing", you know it can and will be treated. Made me feel better anyway

  12. #3512
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    Quote Originally Posted by NightFallsFast View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NightFallsFast View Post
    So. After being almost hospitalized during what my psychiatrist called a "hypo-manic episode" last week; I am now in treatment (sans hospitalization) and on Zyprexa. Going to be further evaluated, but they seem to be working quite well. Not hypo-manic now at least, and getting lots of sleep. My headache has also gone away, so maybe that was related to the stress of not telling anybody. Who knows. Also, almost jumped off a bridge, but nobody saw that, so managed to downplay it enough when I told my psychiatrist to avoid hospitalization. No inclination of ever going close to a bridge again ; that shit was too tempting. So - hooray I guess. Doing a evaluation and diagnostic test next week (DSM-V).
    So. Turns out I suffer from bipolar disorder. After being diagnosed, and medicated (hello Seroquel) I am stable (mostly) and all headaches and similar physical manifestations have gone into hiding. Still have a lot of therapy to do (and do that weekly) to address anger issues and some other stuff (depression fueled suicidal thoughts for one), but in general doing much better. Turns out talking to a psychiatrist wasn't a bad idea after all.
    Seems you're doing better. Big ups, keep it up. It's nothing horrible and what matters most is your health.


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  13. #3513
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    Finally did my first psychiatric checkup. Probably 20 years too late, but better than never. Don't know how I feel about it. One the one hand I'm glad I did it. One the other hand I hate the fact I have to do it and can't sort myself out.

    Psychological testing appointed and checkup in 2 weeks. I'm staring at this bottle of bupropionchloride pills I got. Tomorrow morning is gonna be an interesting day of decisions. One of the good sideffects seems to be I'm gonna start disliking cigarettes.

    :brofist: to all y'all in dis fred
    I was somewhere around Old Man Star, on the edge of Essence, when drugs began to take hold.

  14. #3514
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    Had my first proper visit to a therapist and apparently I don't have anything pathological, just a lot of unresolved stuff that's bugging me and issues in expressing myself in interpersonal relationships that aren't professional in nature. Apparently I can cope just fine when there are well defined boundaries (e.g. Work), but there are issues when I have to set said boundaries (e.g. personal life).

    So, CBT it is, yay.


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  15. #3515
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Had my first proper visit to a therapist and apparently I don't have anything pathological, just a lot of unresolved stuff that's bugging me and issues in expressing myself in interpersonal relationships that aren't professional in nature. Apparently I can cope just fine when there are well defined boundaries (e.g. Work), but there are issues when I have to set said boundaries (e.g. personal life).

    So, CBT it is, yay.


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    That could be true for me too. How did the visit go, if i may ask?

    And what was CBT again?



    Feeling very unsettled at the moment ... hard to describe ... like punching a kitten might be a good idea (voice of reason: no, it is not!)

  16. #3516
    Lief Siddhe's Avatar
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    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
    I was somewhere around Old Man Star, on the edge of Essence, when drugs began to take hold.

  17. #3517
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lief Siddhe View Post
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
    I tried that... I'll be honest I felt it didnt really help me much. Same with the Citalopram my doctor prescribed.

    Getting into a weekly routine of weights / pressups etc and long walks (1hr minimum) in the countryside did infinitely more for curing depression and boosting my confidence during that time.

    Your mileage may vary. Its probably different strokes for different folks.

  18. #3518
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cortess View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Had my first proper visit to a therapist and apparently I don't have anything pathological, just a lot of unresolved stuff that's bugging me and issues in expressing myself in interpersonal relationships that aren't professional in nature. Apparently I can cope just fine when there are well defined boundaries (e.g. Work), but there are issues when I have to set said boundaries (e.g. personal life).

    So, CBT it is, yay.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    That could be true for me too. How did the visit go, if i may ask?

    And what was CBT again?



    Feeling very unsettled at the moment ... hard to describe ... like punching a kitten might be a good idea (voice of reason: no, it is not!)
    Visit went well, I'm seeing her again tomorrow. This lady is really a good therapist, I had 1h scheduled however she took another hour out of her time (and she only bills me one in the end, not that it's cheap, but I really appreciate the gesture). Basically it was a sort of "appraisal", see what brought me to her, where I am in life, what I feel my issues are and so on and so forth.

    For me it's mostly being alone for 2 years now - new gf is there, however she is still at a distance, needs to finish some studies before moving in with me, stuff we already discussed and what not. Yep, she's visiting, I'm visiting, it's still a lot of mileage and tiredness builds up. And this stuff shows at one point, especially since me going out happened exactly 4-5 times last year, out of which 2 (I think) were EvE meetups (nothing wrong with that, however going out helps and shit, you know, social bla bla.

    Being lonely isn't so bad, however I've grown very antisocial in my personal life - it doesn't show in my professional life at all since apparently there I've borders set, which I have great difficulties setting in my private life - if I'm asked for help, I'll help until I can't help anymore (i.e. I'm fatally injured or dead), which isn't always appropriate. Mind you, I don't do this for anybody, but if only 2-3 people don't stop asking, I will bleed out eventually and burn out. At the moment I'm not in that point (bled out or burned out), however I feel it's closing in and I've taken the decision to preemptively see a therapist and see what's what.

    I'll write more on this tomorrow night after the meeting, hopefully this time I won't look like I've been ran over by a train (unshaved, caveman appearance, sigh). Bottom line is I don't have any pathology, I'm not a danger to me or other people (this includes people I look after in my day job ), so 's all good.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sandzibar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lief Siddhe View Post
    Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
    I tried that... I'll be honest I felt it didnt really help me much. Same with the Citalopram my doctor prescribed.

    Getting into a weekly routine of weights / pressups etc and long walks (1hr minimum) in the countryside did infinitely more for curing depression and boosting my confidence during that time.

    Your mileage may vary. Its probably different strokes for different folks.
    Depends a lot on what your issues are. CBT is a very large umbrella covering a lot of techniques - in my specific case I need DBT, for example. Mentioned to the nice lady that thingie Lall mentioned (CBT = coping 101) and she had a good laugh about it and told me it's p much spot on, however it's like it says on the tin, a collection of a lot of stuff that helps. Being such a varied bundle, it makes sense it can serve lots of types of people and personalities, so I suppose ymmv indeed.

    Btw, gym works for me as well, but it did well only for a while, then I was back in derp mode and gym sessions were rarer. So I felt it got me in a downward spiral, so decided to break out of it (and take a nose dive immediately since seeing a therapist did affect my morale, even if subliminally so) - however overall the trend should be back to baseline and hopefully above that and improved.
    Guns make the news, science doesn't.
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  19. #3519
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    I give both CBT and DBT (still in duo not licensed to do it solo just yet) and DBT is way more serious in depth/intensity of emotions and psychopatholgy. There is a reason the education is intense for therapist because you can do real psychological harm if you just wing it.

    My advice would be to take the 'homework' (think about this and that before next session) serious. It can really help; well its proven to be significantly helpfull (mostly in combination of a low key, temporary, medication regime).

    Ow man i can tell stories of clients/patients start to finish that would baffle you.

    p.s.
    CBT is like kicking open flimsy doors, most things taught are "duhh""offcourse" etc but the (self-)confrontation and intro-spection is key.
    Last edited by Sacul; January 24 2017 at 08:27:38 AM.

  20. #3520
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sacul View Post
    I give both CBT and DBT (still in duo not licensed to do it solo just yet) and DBT is way more serious in depth/intensity of emotions and psychopatholgy. There is a reason the education is intense for therapist because you can do real psychological harm if you just wing it.

    My advice would be to take the 'homework' (think about this and that before next session) serious. It can really help; well its proven to be significantly helpfull (mostly in combination of a low key, temporary, medication regime).

    Ow man i can tell stories of clients/patients start to finish that would baffle you.

    p.s.
    CBT is like kicking open flimsy doors, most things taught are "duhh""offcourse" etc but the (self-)confrontation and intro-spection is key.
    I'm taking it extremely serious, and it isn't only due to the cost per session but because I know how important is compliance with treatment.

    Meds are off the table since there are no issues that would warrant medication and that's something that came as a huge relief - I can't really afford to not be 100% clear brain and not be able to drive anymore.

    I have the most baffling story next to me, don't worry, luckily she's responding to CBT in a fantastic way and doesn't need any meds either.

    Overall I'm happy with life, just get discouraged sometimes and the pits have become deeper over time, but otoh this is somehow natural with older age.


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