oh dear, i feel like a zombie
a week ago i went back to some old habits (namely: playing planetside) and shit, i must have played like 30hours in the last 3 days. all the motivation/energy i had a few weeks ago seems to have vanished, instead of "hey, i could do <insert something i wanted to give a try>" i'm now mostly in the state of "don't bother me. i want to OHK some guys with my AP lightning!" (yes, that specific o_O).
it's a self-perpetuating state of exhaustion - i ignored my plans on doing exercises and treating myself well (e.g. by cooking some healthy meals instead of ordering pizza). unsurprisingly i felt quite some reluctance today when waking up and thinking about all the things happening this week. meh.
at least i was smart enough to uninstall steam as one of the first things this morning, vowing to myself to not touch it in a while.
Computer games seem to be like kerosene for the mental health bonfire in my experience. I can literally chart my mood from how many hours I'm playing.
this time it was a bit different. i installed it out of nostalgia, thinking "what could possibly happen? it's just a game. i should be able to play it in moderation." what i forgot in this instance - a few years ago i played it excessively (more than 500h over a few months o_O), practically using it to numb myself from my depression. well, after several hundred hours gaming not only you keep your muscle memory, but also (subconscious) patterns. today i actually was quite surprised how cranky i was over the weekend and how annoyed i felt after waking up today, repeating patterns from back then.
realizing this over the day and also talking in the therapy about it, makes me quite optimistic for it to stay as a hiccup.
Last edited by untilted; February 13 2017 at 01:54:31 PM.
I am struggling today (tueday thread didnt help :s) its hard to explain how i am feeling other than "down" but if you ahve been drinking or smoking and then you get that fuzzy buzzing sensation its like that but not in a good way is the closest i can get to explaining it.
I have decided to go to work today rather than wallowing at home.
Hello people, long time no see my old darkness.
I do need help, especially from finnish people regarding a "humitarian" reason if i'm to be all PC and stuff.
A friend of mine, LGBT, is in Finland. This person has gone through attempted murders, attempted burning her, violence and beatings and constant bullying from the government, especially doctors and the like in Venezuela. She escaped from there to Turkey then went to Finland and applied for asylum and now they're denying it. What can she do to get help? She has nowhere to go and she is afraid that if she goes back to venezuela, she will be killed. She does have evidence of the beatings and I don't know what to do.
Marriage of convenience?
Only 50% joking
Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.
"You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."
Also curious, how do you know each other if this person is from Venezuela, then was in Turkey and now is in Finland? Have you ever met in person?
Also, standard procedure with a rejected asylum application would be to GET LEGAL HELP, appeal the rejection (should/could be possible) and, with professional or at least semi-professional help, prolong the process as long as possible, go through all legal instances to at least prolong your temporary stay in a safe location until a solution emerges.
It is actually very tough for EU countries to 'get rid of' asylum applicants again if they are already in the country, don't commit a crime and adhere to legal procedure.
Also persecution due to sexual orientation is one of those cases you could even try to get in front of the ECHR if the person wants to go all the way.
If have some (but not much) volunteer experience with helping asylum applicants, feel free to PM me if you think I can be of any help regarding basic formalities regarding asylum in EU countries. Obviously can't tell you anything for Finland and can't give any remotely qualified legal advice.
Shes going to court, yeah. But her lawyer says she has no chance and the refugee center is treating her like she'll get kicked out, she told me that when she landed they refused to let her go to the hospital to get medical assistance re: meds and LGBT stuff insisting she goes through their nurse who believed she does not warrant LGBT treatment. I'll mention all those things.
I'll PM you the story she sent them.
Hope it gets solved, however I hope you're doing better. You still haven't said how you met this person, by the way, which makes me think you are somehow a bit too involved in the story for you to maintain objectivity. Hope it works out for the better though.
Guns make the news, science doesn't.
Six shooters ruined PvP.
What are you doing with your life?ęDoomchinchilla 2015
Last edited by UsernameisValidandNotinUs; March 2 2017 at 01:06:46 PM.
Very soon so i'm excited about that. Life otherwise is doing good, I feel much better mentally, I feel able to reach out to people and you know, not worry about puking all over the place. I'm still on the medicine as before but other then that,. nothing else happening. Just living day by day finding reasons to keep being awake.