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Thread: The Serious Mental Health Thread

  1. #3661
    Keckers's Avatar
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    Ultimately it is a numbers game. Why would your mom disapprove without ever meeting? Do you think she would approve of anyone?
    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Mason
    It is absurd that we are capable of witnessing a 40,000 year old system of gender oppression begin to dissolve before our eyes yet still see the abolition of a 200 year old economic system as an unrealistic utopia.

  2. #3662
    King of the Babe Thread Donor Jolin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keckers View Post
    Ultimately it is a numbers game. Why would your mom disapprove without ever meeting? Do you think she would approve of anyone?
    That one was my fault. I had some misgivings about a few things that she had shared about herself and I should not have over-shared with mom.

    I'm sure there's someone out there she does approve of.

  3. #3663
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    Jolin, you need to get out more.


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  4. #3664
    King of the Babe Thread Donor Jolin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Jolin, you need to get out more.


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    A truer statement has never been said

  5. #3665
    King of the Babe Thread Donor Jolin's Avatar
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    Now we are full on exchanging erotic stories. What is even happening

  6. #3666
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jolin View Post
    Now we are full on exchanging erotic stories. What is even happening
    With your mother ?

  7. #3667
    King of the Babe Thread Donor Jolin's Avatar
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    Yes....sure. Why the fuck not

  8. #3668
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    I am so annoyed with myself. Despite all the meds and therapy i seem to go with the ebb and flow of the bipolair.
    The edges are gone, i can control it a bit but fuck me........i had surgery in march, healed in april, felt really good about that, all chipper, very good mood, may was going down but hey i can handle it, june was depressing, early july i didnt want to get out of bed. Now im half and half.

    Somebody just suck the bad parts from my brain kthnx
    Schopenhauer:

    All truth passes through three stages.
    First, it is ridiculed.
    Second, it is violently opposed.
    Third, it is accepted as being self-evident..

  9. #3669

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    My sentiments exactly. Even medicated I get the roller coaster, though less intense. Pdoc wants me on Lithium next, so here’s to hoping that works out better than anti-depressants or Lamictal. Latuda works wonders for my hallucinations, and mostly curbs racing thoughts, but fuck me do I still get depressed and hypomanic.

  10. #3670
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    I don't want to do therapy with you guys or seem that I am an all-knowing jackass.

    However, as an internet buddy. You are bipolar. Steps would be:
    - get help - you're getting it;
    - get meds - you're getting it;
    - get living - you are.

    Life is a rollercoaster regardless of whether you are bipolar or not. I am not, however I have met all sorts of personality disorders and I am not dissing the person for this. You are not your illness. You are human beings who have some issues which are managed to the best of your therapists abilities and it is working - you yourselves are saying this, not me.

    However, there will always be ups and downs. These can be driven by changes in your body, work routines, weather and a billion other things. Nobody is 100% well balanced, trust me on this.


    So, my advice - stop focusing on your disorder so much and see how you can counter it actively - meds and therapy are active, but get this, there are other things you can try and do to help these along. Get out more, even if you force yourselves to do it. Get hobbying. Get gaming, whatever, just try to not dwell on your disorder too much. As all humans who are actually using their brains, this may be hard, as it invariably leads to the "is it my bipolar acting again or..." and lean towards the former instead of trying to actively shut that voice down by distracting it with other activities.

    If old hobbies don't cut it, get new ones. Learn something new every day that stimulates you intellectually.



    Please, don't read the above as me asking "have you tried not being depressed/bipolar", but me trying to help out somehow because somebody out there on the internet actually cares.

    Be well
    Guns make the news, science doesn't.

  11. #3671

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    I don't want to do therapy with you guys or seem that I am an all-knowing jackass.
    Sorry for the wall of text that is incoming.

    TL;DR: I get what you're saying, but I don't think you get what living with this disorder is like.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    However, as an internet buddy. You are bipolar. Steps would be:
    - get help - you're getting it;
    - get meds - you're getting it;
    - get living - you are.
    Get help: Check. In therapy, talking about stuff doesn't always help. It's one thing to learn about CBT in a session, it's something else to actually use the techniques when you're so depressed you can't even gather the energy to go to the toilet.
    Get meds: I've tried about 10 different, and I'm about to try Lithium. Meds aren't a quick fix, it's pretty exhausting because they either have a slow titrating phase because you need to check that the side-effects doesn't kill you (hello Lamictal), or it just takes time for the meds to actually work (like 2-3 weeks is considered a short amount of time. When you're on your fifth or sixth med inside 12 months it really doesn't feel that way when you're cycling moods every week or in depressions that last for weeks or even months).
    Get living: that's what I spend 90 % of my energy trying to. Being bipolar, or indeed having any mental illness with active episodes means you're usually hiding behind a mask of normality, at least when at work or in public. Having a job can be stressful enough, trying to deliver a lecture to 30 people while you've got a voice in your head telling you that they all hate you (auditory hallucinations, not a silent mental voice) kind of takes a lot of the extra energy that you'd normally spend on "living".

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Life is a rollercoaster regardless of whether you are bipolar or not. I am not, however I have met all sorts of personality disorders and I am not dissing the person for this. You are not your illness. You are human beings who have some issues which are managed to the best of your therapists abilities and it is working - you yourselves are saying this, not me.

    However, there will always be ups and downs. These can be driven by changes in your body, work routines, weather and a billion other things. Nobody is 100% well balanced, trust me on this.
    Sure life is a rollercoaster regardless of disorders and diagnosis, but it's about the extremes. Being bipolar isn't about being happy or being sad. It's about the extremes at which you are euphoric, manic, hypomanic or the depths of your depressions. It's about the rapid cycling, if you are rapid cycling. I am, and I go from being in a hypomanic epsiode to being clinically depressed in less than 24 hours and can experience multiple episodes during a month. It's about more than ups and downs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    So, my advice - stop focusing on your disorder so much and see how you can counter it actively - meds and therapy are active, but get this, there are other things you can try and do to help these along. Get out more, even if you force yourselves to do it. Get hobbying. Get gaming, whatever, just try to not dwell on your disorder too much. As all humans who are actually using their brains, this may be hard, as it invariably leads to the "is it my bipolar acting again or..." and lean towards the former instead of trying to actively shut that voice down by distracting it with other activities.

    If old hobbies don't cut it, get new ones. Learn something new every day that stimulates you intellectually.
    I've got a job that requires me 110 %, and two kids below the age of 10 that I'm constantly feeling guilty about not spending enough time with and a wife that is overworked and worried about me. Tell me more about these hobbies I should be spending time on. Outside of episodes or bad periods, sure - I have hobbies. I do photography (lots of hiking and landscape photo) and cycling. In episodes or bad periods, I spend 90 % of my energy on being able to hold down a job and not act out on all of my impulses if I'm hypomanic, or on hauling my ass out of bed and talking to people if I'm depressed. The rest is spent on my family, and it's not enough. I get your point, but there's just not enough time and/or energy.

    We're mostly acutely aware that we're not our disorder, but I take 10 pills a day and go to therapy weekly. It's hard not to notice or let it affect your life when so much is about navigating around the constraints it puts on your life. Also; for some strange reason, one actually is ones disorder. Most people say "you are bipolar" or "I am bipolar", not "I have a bipolar disorder" or "I suffer from bipolar disorder". It's semantics, but it's surprisingly how much effect it has. I try to say that I am not my disorder, and have even tattooed I am greater than my ups and downs on my arm, but it's still so easy to slip back into the habit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Please, don't read the above as me asking "have you tried not being depressed/bipolar", but me trying to help out somehow because somebody out there on the internet actually cares.

    Be well
    I get that, but it's basically what you're saying

  12. #3672

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    Quote Originally Posted by morpheps View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    I don't want to do therapy with you guys or seem that I am an all-knowing jackass.
    Sorry for the wall of text that is incoming.

    TL;DR: I get what you're saying, but I don't think you get what living with this disorder is like.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    However, as an internet buddy. You are bipolar. Steps would be:
    - get help - you're getting it;
    - get meds - you're getting it;
    - get living - you are.
    Get help: Check. In therapy, talking about stuff doesn't always help. It's one thing to learn about CBT in a session, it's something else to actually use the techniques when you're so depressed you can't even gather the energy to go to the toilet.
    Get meds: I've tried about 10 different, and I'm about to try Lithium. Meds aren't a quick fix, it's pretty exhausting because they either have a slow titrating phase because you need to check that the side-effects doesn't kill you (hello Lamictal), or it just takes time for the meds to actually work (like 2-3 weeks is considered a short amount of time. When you're on your fifth or sixth med inside 12 months it really doesn't feel that way when you're cycling moods every week or in depressions that last for weeks or even months).
    Get living: that's what I spend 90 % of my energy trying to. Being bipolar, or indeed having any mental illness with active episodes means you're usually hiding behind a mask of normality, at least when at work or in public. Having a job can be stressful enough, trying to deliver a lecture to 30 people while you've got a voice in your head telling you that they all hate you (auditory hallucinations, not a silent mental voice) kind of takes a lot of the extra energy that you'd normally spend on "living".

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Life is a rollercoaster regardless of whether you are bipolar or not. I am not, however I have met all sorts of personality disorders and I am not dissing the person for this. You are not your illness. You are human beings who have some issues which are managed to the best of your therapists abilities and it is working - you yourselves are saying this, not me.

    However, there will always be ups and downs. These can be driven by changes in your body, work routines, weather and a billion other things. Nobody is 100% well balanced, trust me on this.
    Sure life is a rollercoaster regardless of disorders and diagnosis, but it's about the extremes. Being bipolar isn't about being happy or being sad. It's about the extremes at which you are euphoric, manic, hypomanic or the depths of your depressions. It's about the rapid cycling, if you are rapid cycling. I am, and I go from being in a hypomanic epsiode to being clinically depressed in less than 24 hours and can experience multiple episodes during a month. It's about more than ups and downs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    So, my advice - stop focusing on your disorder so much and see how you can counter it actively - meds and therapy are active, but get this, there are other things you can try and do to help these along. Get out more, even if you force yourselves to do it. Get hobbying. Get gaming, whatever, just try to not dwell on your disorder too much. As all humans who are actually using their brains, this may be hard, as it invariably leads to the "is it my bipolar acting again or..." and lean towards the former instead of trying to actively shut that voice down by distracting it with other activities.

    If old hobbies don't cut it, get new ones. Learn something new every day that stimulates you intellectually.
    I've got a job that requires me 110 %, and two kids below the age of 10 that I'm constantly feeling guilty about not spending enough time with and a wife that is overworked and worried about me. Tell me more about these hobbies I should be spending time on. Outside of episodes or bad periods, sure - I have hobbies. I do photography (lots of hiking and landscape photo) and cycling. In episodes or bad periods, I spend 90 % of my energy on being able to hold down a job and not act out on all of my impulses if I'm hypomanic, or on hauling my ass out of bed and talking to people if I'm depressed. The rest is spent on my family, and it's not enough. I get your point, but there's just not enough time and/or energy.

    We're mostly acutely aware that we're not our disorder, but I take 10 pills a day and go to therapy weekly. It's hard not to notice or let it affect your life when so much is about navigating around the constraints it puts on your life. Also; for some strange reason, one actually is ones disorder. Most people say "you are bipolar" or "I am bipolar", not "I have a bipolar disorder" or "I suffer from bipolar disorder". It's semantics, but it's surprisingly how much effect it has. I try to say that I am not my disorder, and have even tattooed I am greater than my ups and downs on my arm, but it's still so easy to slip back into the habit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmin View Post
    Please, don't read the above as me asking "have you tried not being depressed/bipolar", but me trying to help out somehow because somebody out there on the internet actually cares.

    Be well
    I get that, but it's basically what you're saying

    real length

  13. #3673
    Cosmin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by morpheps View Post
    TL;DR: I get what you're saying, but I don't think you get what living with this disorder is like.
    I've read extensively on most of the personality disorders, but mostly on borderline and bipolar and I don't lack imagination. And what I've read are not forum posts. I can understand to a certain degree, but no, I don't know personally.

    Quote Originally Posted by morpheps View Post
    Sure life is a rollercoaster regardless of disorders and diagnosis, but it's about the extremes. Being bipolar isn't about being happy or being sad. It's about the extremes at which you are euphoric, manic, hypomanic or the depths of your depressions. It's about the rapid cycling, if you are rapid cycling. I am, and I go from being in a hypomanic epsiode to being clinically depressed in less than 24 hours and can experience multiple episodes during a month. It's about more than ups and downs.
    I'm sure this is exhausting af, and exhaustion is one of those things mentioned above that can affect you no matter your illness. I'm not sure it makes sense the way I've put it?

    Quote Originally Posted by morpheps View Post
    I've got a job that requires me 110 %, and two kids below the age of 10 that I'm constantly feeling guilty about not spending enough time with and a wife that is overworked and worried about me. Tell me more about these hobbies I should be spending time on. Outside of episodes or bad periods, sure - I have hobbies. I do photography (lots of hiking and landscape photo) and cycling. In episodes or bad periods, I spend 90 % of my energy on being able to hold down a job and not act out on all of my impulses if I'm hypomanic, or on hauling my ass out of bed and talking to people if I'm depressed. The rest is spent on my family, and it's not enough. I get your point, but there's just not enough time and/or energy.
    I think the most important thing is you are trying, and you should not ignore or downplay that. There is only so much you can do in 24h, and with a busy job it can be even more difficult. A lot of people who don't have any MH issues don't spend as much time with their families as they should (not that they're bothered about the amount of time they should spend with families). I don't think you should dwell on how much time you are able to spend it with family as long as you try to spend it with family - does this make sense?

    I'm happy you get my point, as I said it's just a bit of thoughts going your way and by no means am I trying to judge you or tell you this or that.

    Quote Originally Posted by morpheps View Post
    We're mostly acutely aware that we're not our disorder, but I take 10 pills a day and go to therapy weekly. It's hard not to notice or let it affect your life when so much is about navigating around the constraints it puts on your life. Also; for some strange reason, one actually is ones disorder. Most people say "you are bipolar" or "I am bipolar", not "I have a bipolar disorder" or "I suffer from bipolar disorder". It's semantics, but it's surprisingly how much effect it has. I try to say that I am not my disorder, and have even tattooed I am greater than my ups and downs on my arm, but it's still so easy to slip back into the habit.
    You know what they say, if you have a "but" in your sentence, what's before it is mostly bs

    On a more serious note, I understand how much it can affect your life. I've seen it live, more than once. It can be crippling beyond most people's capacity of understanding and it can be frustrating to deal with for both the affected and their close ones. I like how you are reflecting on the semantics there, I think you're onto something and I'm glad you believe you're not it.

    Quote Originally Posted by morpheps View Post
    I get that, but it's basically what you're saying
    Well, shit. English is not my first language?
    Guns make the news, science doesn't.

  14. #3674
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sponk View Post
    ah, now I understand what the traffic light poster in my kid's friends kitchen is for. The friend has mild autism so I guess it's a way for her to express how she's coping in general terms, just by moving the magnet up and down the traffic light.
    Fuck that's brilliant and I need it in my life.

    Or the smouldering wreckage of my life anyways.

    The last three months sucked.

    Friends dying, grandparents in hospice care, and unsurprisingly this pushed me into a depressive nose-dive so bad that I'm eating one meal a day (if that), drinking four to five cups of coffee just to stay awake for ten hours, and haven't left my building in over a month.

    I just got a letter from my psych care provider stating that they're closing their file on me since I appear to have just fucking vanished into thin air. At this point I'm just utterly rudderless. Smashing my face back into the bureaucracy for weeks just to get into a not-frequent-enough treatment plan that barely kept me on an even keel when no major events were swamping me seems futile.

    I have no plan, no prospects, and I spend most of my time indulging in escapism because every time I start paying attention to reality I become terrified of the world I'm stuck in. 2018 blows goats.
    I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those Thukkers, that way I wouldn't have to have any goddamn stupid useless conversations with anybody.
    Failing the Voight-Kampff test, one tortoise at a time.

  15. #3675
    Cosmin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ophichius View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Sponk View Post
    ah, now I understand what the traffic light poster in my kid's friends kitchen is for. The friend has mild autism so I guess it's a way for her to express how she's coping in general terms, just by moving the magnet up and down the traffic light.
    Fuck that's brilliant and I need it in my life.

    Or the smouldering wreckage of my life anyways.

    The last three months sucked.

    Friends dying, grandparents in hospice care, and unsurprisingly this pushed me into a depressive nose-dive so bad that I'm eating one meal a day (if that), drinking four to five cups of coffee just to stay awake for ten hours, and haven't left my building in over a month.

    I just got a letter from my psych care provider stating that they're closing their file on me since I appear to have just fucking vanished into thin air. At this point I'm just utterly rudderless. Smashing my face back into the bureaucracy for weeks just to get into a not-frequent-enough treatment plan that barely kept me on an even keel when no major events were swamping me seems futile.

    I have no plan, no prospects, and I spend most of my time indulging in escapism because every time I start paying attention to reality I become terrified of the world I'm stuck in. 2018 blows goats.
    I can sympathise with you to some degree. I know it's been beaten to hell and back, but get out more and try to accrue courage. Courage isn't lack of fear, is knowing that albeit shit is going to go tits up and to keep going.

    I'm in a p. bad place myself and I'm just trying to ease myself into the fight, but today was something like "wtf else could go wrong" so I just nose dived into the fray. It's not pretty and I'm scared af, but I know I have to keep pressing the issues.

    Tune to help:
    Guns make the news, science doesn't.

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