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Thread: The Serious Mental Health Thread

  1. #3641
    Cosmin's Avatar
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    You ok dude?
    Guns make the news, science doesn't.

  2. #3642

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    Hello Latuda - where have you been all my life? Literally a lifesaving drug. And it doesnít make me a fat zombie like some drugs (looking at you Zyprexa) does. Thank goodness I live in a place where I can afford the drug because damn itís expensive (ish $1000 pr month).


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  3. #3643
    Cosmin's Avatar
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    Guns make the news, science doesn't.

  4. #3644
    Donor Shiodome's Avatar
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    my main tip is that a primary cause of anxiety is creating accounts to forums in order to promote websites can result in being told to fuck off, which can damage self esteem. if that isn't what you're doing then apologies, but it probably is.

  5. #3645
    Djan Seriy Anaplian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tobias View Post
    I've been suffering severe anxiety for almost a year now and been given a prescription for Benzodiazepines for my medication. But i heard alot of people telling me that marijuana helps relieve anxiety but im not im not sure if its true so i came up to search something about this idea and came across this marijuana strain from https://www.bonzaseeds.com/blog/black-diamond/ it says that i can discard all forms of stress and its euphoric buzz it delivers often is useful in combating anxiety and depression. I wanted to hear your thoughts about this guys and if you can give me any tips that can help me with my anxieties.
    You require 2 marijuanas.

  6. #3646
    Lief Siddhe's Avatar
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    Well, just bear in mind that, just like all psychoactive substances, they have a bit different effect on different people. Give it a try but don't expect miracles. I personally like stoning myself for that chilling out effect, but i also know lots of people who get edgy when stoned.
    I was somewhere around Old Man Star, on the edge of Essence, when drugs began to take hold.

  7. #3647

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    So need some help and advice.... sadly this is the only place I can ask as no one really knows me so its semi-anonymous

    Recently started seeing someone who told me last week she is bi-polar. I knew she took medication for mood issues as I have known here a long long time but this is a bit of a shock TBH. No idea how to handle this at all. Everything online says just to "be there" for her when she needs it but I know some of you have the same or similar illnesses so would apprecaite how you handle this. At this stage its not going to be an option to walk away , far too fucking good fun for both of us but I am worried this is the upside and I have no idea what the lowside will be ...

    All help and advice appreciated

  8. #3648
    Cosmin's Avatar
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    I hate to agree with the above but ideally you should walk away. Mental illness is a thing that doesn't go well when you're emotionally involved. It's all fun and games until the ugly bits show up (and they will, regardless of therapy happening or not, can be quite bad if not).

    Source: 2 years involved with borderline personality disorder person, she was fine at the end, I ended up a complete wreck and took me almost a year to recover. Still not fully there myself, she seems in excellent shape.

    Fake edit: I'm not bitter, I know I offered my best and what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way. But the fact that shit tore me apart still remains and personality disorders (all of them) need to be monitored closely.

    Also, if you truly love her and she loves you, you can choose to stick around and make it work. Sometimes it actually works out. Walking away is the preferable way to handle this if there are no strings, however you can always choose hard mode and roll with it. It is, at the end of the day, your choice.

    If you choose the latter, have her do therapy from time to time (go private), even if it is just an assessment to see how she's doing and so on.

    glhf


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  9. #3649
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jags View Post
    So need some help and advice.... sadly this is the only place I can ask as no one really knows me so its semi-anonymous

    Recently started seeing someone who told me last week she is bi-polar. I knew she took medication for mood issues as I have known here a long long time but this is a bit of a shock TBH. No idea how to handle this at all. Everything online says just to "be there" for her when she needs it but I know some of you have the same or similar illnesses so would apprecaite how you handle this. At this stage its not going to be an option to walk away , far too fucking good fun for both of us but I am worried this is the upside and I have no idea what the lowside will be ...

    All help and advice appreciated
    Don't take the advice to cut and run just because of the specter of mental illness. That's a shitty thing to do to someone. Especially someone who has a history of depression. The best advice I can give is to get involved, with her permission. Have an honest talk with her about your concerns, find out which type of bipolar she has, and ask if you can talk with her treatment team to find out more about it. Let her know up front that you want to make it work, but you need more information on how to help with her disorder.

    Going into a relationship like this with both eyes open will dramatically improve the chance of it succeeding. Talking to her doctors, finding out what they think you can do to help, is going to be more useful than any internet forum advice, because they're the ones who have been working with her for years. Most doctors these days will have patients doing some form of cognitive behavioral therapy, find out if you can either sit in on a session, or better yet, take a couple sessions yourself. Understanding the principles of CBT and how she's being taught to apply them will help you work with her if she needs support.

    As for your concerns about high-low periods, find out what form of bipolar disorder she has. Bipolar 1 and 2 are different beasts. BP1 manifests with both full-blown manic episodes (delusional self-confidence, incredible amounts of energy, lowered inhibitions) and depressive episodes. BP2 manifests as hypomania (elevated energy and drive, but without the delusions.) and depression. That said, if she's on medications, the high/low generally won't manifest as a sharp behavioral change like that, but rather a softer shift in the amount of energy and drive she has.
    I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those Thukkers, that way I wouldn't have to have any goddamn stupid useless conversations with anybody.
    Failing the Voight-Kampff test, one tortoise at a time.

  10. #3650
    Donor Sponk's Avatar
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    Also, subjectively I think bipolar would be easier to deal with than borderline.
    Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.

    "You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."


  11. #3651
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sponk View Post
    Also, subjectively I think bipolar would be easier to deal with than borderline.
    Fully agree with this.







    Ooph, agree to some extent. However, the more you advance through life, the more you notice time isn't coming back. Huge investments come with huge risks and if you get burned that's years down the shitter with the associated crap you need to deal yourself (depression isn't confined to people with mental health issues, it can creep on anyone).

    Hence why I said it's his choice and he should consider both. I agree discriminating on mh issues is a horrible thing to do. That's not what's happening. It's simply considering the choices and assessing the risks involved. If somebody can't cope with stuff in the long run, it's better to just bail out asap for both their sakes.


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  12. #3652

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    Appreciate the comments , going to continue with it and see where it goes. She did have a bit of a breakdown a couple of weeks back just after I posted this (tears and general upset - but that cn happen to anyone) but I was able to help her through it ok. Spoken to her family about the history and I think its largely been under control apart from a couple of serious issues over a decade ago. Absolutely understand this is not going to be easy, and TBH I dont know if I am strong enough to handle any really bad episodes but its been a really good enjoyable few months with only one minor problem to deal with. Not that I am the easiest person to get along with as I have a number of anxiety related issues, maybe we are just meant to drag each other through this and see how it goes

    Again really appreciate the honest responses, you guys arent that bad after all

  13. #3653
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ophichius View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jags View Post
    So need some help and advice.... sadly this is the only place I can ask as no one really knows me so its semi-anonymous

    Recently started seeing someone who told me last week she is bi-polar. I knew she took medication for mood issues as I have known here a long long time but this is a bit of a shock TBH. No idea how to handle this at all. Everything online says just to "be there" for her when she needs it but I know some of you have the same or similar illnesses so would apprecaite how you handle this. At this stage its not going to be an option to walk away , far too fucking good fun for both of us but I am worried this is the upside and I have no idea what the lowside will be ...

    All help and advice appreciated
    Don't take the advice to cut and run just because of the specter of mental illness. That's a shitty thing to do to someone. Especially someone who has a history of depression. The best advice I can give is to get involved, with her permission. Have an honest talk with her about your concerns, find out which type of bipolar she has, and ask if you can talk with her treatment team to find out more about it. Let her know up front that you want to make it work, but you need more information on how to help with her disorder.

    Going into a relationship like this with both eyes open will dramatically improve the chance of it succeeding. Talking to her doctors, finding out what they think you can do to help, is going to be more useful than any internet forum advice, because they're the ones who have been working with her for years. Most doctors these days will have patients doing some form of cognitive behavioral therapy, find out if you can either sit in on a session, or better yet, take a couple sessions yourself. Understanding the principles of CBT and how she's being taught to apply them will help you work with her if she needs support.

    As for your concerns about high-low periods, find out what form of bipolar disorder she has. Bipolar 1 and 2 are different beasts. BP1 manifests with both full-blown manic episodes (delusional self-confidence, incredible amounts of energy, lowered inhibitions) and depressive episodes. BP2 manifests as hypomania (elevated energy and drive, but without the delusions.) and depression. That said, if she's on medications, the high/low generally won't manifest as a sharp behavioral change like that, but rather a softer shift in the amount of energy and drive she has.
    I understand your sentiment and i am not saying it is bad advice but going all the way you are suggesting is a sure fire way to becoming a counselor for her. Which i would highly advice against.

    I had it happen two times now that i was honest with a girlfriend and in a period i was either pumped up from work, new project plus uni exams that type of stuff or when i was a bit out of it, long work days so tired and traveled alot for work, i got it thrown at my feet that 'my condition' must be acting up. I was so offended by those remarks that it send me in a fit of rage (once on the phone so i just hung up and the other time i smashed a plate on the kitchen floor and went for a walk). I am now less honest about it in new relationships because of this.

    On the other end of a relationship i twice had a relationship with somebody who had borderline, the first time i didnt know how to handle the situation and contacted her best friend for advice. This made the situation only worse and we broke up soon after.

    @Jags
    There are BiPo friend and family support group sites aswell as books on the subject so reading up on there might help, offcourse you can allways ask here. Talking with her about it helps, start with the fun manic parts, everybody with bipo has them.
    In NL we make a signal plan, well its used often not allways. Red-orange-green like a traffic light. The color codes go with internal and external cue's written down and what to do to get back into the green. For herself but also what others can do. If she has such a system she might want to share that with you.


    (BiPo type 2 myself, dad was BiPo aswell, grandmother paranoid schizoprenic in the last 20 years of her life, nephew with severe depression. Lets just say it runs in the family).
    Schopenhauer:

    All truth passes through three stages.
    First, it is ridiculed.
    Second, it is violently opposed.
    Third, it is accepted as being self-evident..

  14. #3654
    Donor Sponk's Avatar
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    ah, now I understand what the traffic light poster in my kid's friends kitchen is for. The friend has mild autism so I guess it's a way for her to express how she's coping in general terms, just by moving the magnet up and down the traffic light.
    Contract stuff to Seraphina Amaranth.

    "You give me the awful impression - I hate to have to say - of someone who hasn't read any of the arguments against your position. Ever."


  15. #3655

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    Edit: I realize now I may have posted in the wrong thread for this, I'll consider re-posting it in the other one.

    Entering my mid-30s now, and my social life has been worse than dead for over a decade. I don't leave home except to do things like go to the grocery store, doctor/dentist appointments, or getting some pre-dawn exercise.

    I live in a tiny town that is nearby to fuck all and have no real way to travel outside of it. I only ever had a few friends throughout school, but always felt they were on lookout for something better. Outwardly friendly people, but the type who would forget your name on a daily basis if it wasn't written on your shirt.

    I've dealt with suicidal depression and social anxiety in the past, although neither loom over me significantly in the present. Took meds for both over the years, but nothing ever seemed to do much. Not taking anything currently, have not been prescribed or advised to. I can go out in public and talk to people I've never met before just fine, as long as it's a short formal interaction and not an attempt at conversation.

    I just don't how or where to develop my social skills at this point in my life. I go on forums under various names, and sooner or later invariably start getting shit for just trying to be friendly and helpful. I'll write a post that might be a bit lengthy or over-explains something, and I'll wake up the next day with replies like "no need to be a condescending prick" or "maybe you need to go outside more".

    Sometimes I have an almost pathological desire to help out other people, coming from a desire to feel wanted, but the only ways I know how are unwanted or unappreciated. People either immediately see through to my insecurity, or think I'm trying to mentally jerk off to some sort of false sense of superiority.

    I've been basically treading water and going nowhere in my life for 15 years, and I don't want to keep doing it anymore.
    Last edited by Boltorano; June 30 2018 at 06:27:07 AM.

  16. #3656
    Cosmin's Avatar
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    Bike or driver's licence and a cheap bike or car.


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  17. #3657
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    To further expand on my previous post.

    You seem to feel trapped in one place by the sounds of it. This can change but if it's a really isolated place then usual advice like "find the local book club and join" or "find the local cyclists and tag along" don't really work. I`d suggest moving, however this may not be what you want. I'm unsure if you want to escape the place or get to know more about the place, I'm guessing a bit of both.

    I'm going to post an interlude here, because I've been struggling with depression for a bit now and therapy helps, but going work - home - work doesn't. So today around 2AM I woke up and played a bit of ships then I felt I need to go somewhere. Settled on a place a patient of mine told me about that it has sandy beaches (holy shit, sand on beaches in the UK, must see ), so hopped in the car at 3 AM and drove there. Picked up an old friend on the way who was moaning texting me about her break up, so I'm like hey m8 I'm going to the seaside, wanna come? So she did, so I picked her up and went to the seaside. Long walk on the beach with great sand and waves gently massaging our feet, then had brunch (because apparently chefs only come in after 12 ffs) then head back home. I didn't drop her off because fuck driving in London in the middle of the day so dropped her off at the train station in the town I live in. Went home and I'm lolburned by the sun on the face and forearms and I have a smile I can't wipe off my face and I feel uber energized on getting along with the tedious paperwork that needs doing but I wasn't able to finish so far.

    Interlude over, what you may find nice is a bit of mobility. So that may be a car or a bike (I suggest car because I like my organs on the inside, but bikes are cool mkay), but you need a license for that first. If you have a license, scrap £3-400 off somewhere and get yourself a Boltomobile. Wake up early in the morning and set off to somewhere, see places, take pix, come home and post or not on internets. This will help a lot with your general mood, I believe.

    People on the internet are assholes in general, btw. Reddit is a festering shithole where I've seen some reactions that boggle the mind, and I'm saying this from the perspective of a medical professional who is good at their job and loved by his patients (see above for patient suggesting chill out destination, never heard it happen before to any of my colleagues ), so I must be doing something good outside the envelope of my job itself (any doctor can do their job, not all doctors are actually liked+ by their patients), which I think is linked to some of my social skills. Thus, I can see why trodding on the nets and helping people is not yielding good rewards for you - you may want to try to talk directly to people and socialize with them. Learn to small talk (I hate it but I can't go straight into the theory of evolution and why we're currently experiencing the 6th extinction right off the bat because people may think I'm some sort of know-it-all). People like to have their egos massaged, so ask what they're doing for a living and actually listen to the responses and build up from there.


    I usually hate self-help stuff, but I've come across this, which is p. much a lot of truisms, but not a lot of people actually acknowledge this or they unconsciouslly drift towards stuff that they themselves want to say, effectively cutting the other person off. And this video applies to all conversation, not only girls (although it's nice to see there's chemistry and then be shut down by "my partner's dog yada yada yada", oh, kappa).


    Now go out there, get a license for a bike or car, whichever you like, get a method of transportation that is yours alone and go talk to people.




    I've found that conventions are nice. I've met a lot of people at geekish events like new video card launched by nvidia, event hosted by scan, was nice and talked to a lot of people but me being out of area didn't translate in any long term friendships. But it's basically keeping trying out of a large pool, it's impossible not to find like-minded people. Hence why travel is quite important, if the town is as small as you imply the local pool must be p. dry. So keep looking. Be well. And be kind to yourself
    Last edited by Cosmin; June 30 2018 at 03:42:21 PM.
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  18. #3658

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    Thanks for replying Cosmin. I haven't gone anywhere, just didn't have the energy to read through the whole thing and write up a response.

    Maybe sometime later today.

  19. #3659
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    @Boltorano Just a suggestion but have you tried CBD (oils, or pills or whatever)? I'm in a very similar situation, albeit with less fear of conversations, but I've found that one 10mg dose of CBD in the morning (I use tablets* these days, oils are a bother tbh) takes the edge off almost all social interactions without leaving me foggy.

    Agree with Cosmin too - I learned to drive and found that helped with confidence and getting out more. Conventions etc. are also good. You could try meetup groups in your area as well, look for stuff related to your interests, or consider trying something new. It all sounds cliche but every little helps.

    One thing - fuck people on the internet saying 'get out more' etc. They don't know you and have no real-world basis on which to judge your interactions. Their comments mean fuck all and 90% of them are just twats trying to get a rise out of you. It can be hard to let that shit go (god knows I still have crippling memories of equally silly shit from my childhood) but you kinda have to force yourself. 'Mindfulness' is a bit overblown as a concept imo but noticing when you're doing shit is the first step to re-directing it into something else.

    *https://www.lovecbd.org/product/600m...rage-capsules/

  20. #3660
    King of the Babe Thread Donor Jolin's Avatar
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    2 years later......the search for the arranged marriage still continues. I considered putting some of the more hilarious (as in hilariously sad and depressing) stories in the thread, but some of the stuff wouldn't translate well past the cultural barrier.

    But, I just broke off with a girl I had been chatting with for a month. We had never met, just exchanged of numbers via the matrimony site. So we used to chat via WhatsApp or talk over phone etc. I did like talking to her a lot but due to :reasons: (mom's disapproval being one of them), felt it was best not to pursue it as a relationship.

    I did contact her the evening of the day we discussed not pursuing it furthwr and she seemed ok with being just friends. And apparently we're meeting up for coffee on Sunday.
    For once in my life, I'm really looking forward to something.

    I realize the post will seem a little weird, especially since I'm leaving out a lot of details, but I really wanted to share this with just about anyone other than mom.

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