The Serious Mental Health Thread

[Sponk]

Sounds like you need someone to bounce ideas off to see whether it's you, or the business.

A lot of ppl I know get stuck in their first job for years, unaware how bad it is because <job virgin>, then quit and join a not-terrible workplace and are all "holy shit I didn't know work could be like this". That's why I like my current gig as a freelance IT dev. I get to switch jobs every year without stigma, and stockpile the best ideas and processes from the places I've worked, so i can suggest improvements in the current workplace. When I get bored, I move on.

Also the pay.

[Selb]

a wealth of sound advice in this thread. certainly gives me a bit of perspective about how lucky i am with my situation, and how easily i can resolve my problems.

major :brofist: to those of you in difficulties past or present, and best wishes on getting things sorted.

[kzig]

A lot of ppl I know get stuck in their first job for years, unaware how bad it is because <job virgin>, then quit and join a not-terrible workplace and are all "holy shit I didn't know work could be like this".

As someone who is in this sort of situation (first job with very large organisation, approaching the 2-year mark), what sort of questions should I be asking? It took me a very long time to find it, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have got it. Even with the experience I've gained I doubt I'm that much more employable than I previously was, as a large part of it is highly specialised (about 6 other people out of an office of ~4000 would be able to do my job), so I'm extremely reluctant to consider moving.

[Sponk]

As someone who is in this sort of situation (first job with very large organisation, approaching the 2-year mark), what sort of questions should I be asking? It took me a very long time to find it, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have got it. Even with the experience I've gained I doubt I'm that much more employable than I previously was, as a large part of it is highly specialised (about 6 other people out of an office of ~4000 would be able to do my job), so I'm extremely reluctant to consider moving.

First job, two years in? That means that if you take a job you're qualified for but have no experience in, you're not much worse.

Compare that with someone who has, say, 15 years experience in X. If they swap roles, they must get something where they can use most of that experience or risk a substantial drop in pay. You, however, do not have this problem.

You have stayed 2 years which means you can leave or transfer without being accused of disloyalty or job-hopping. It also means you're in the power curve of your career so should be getting pay rises every year (and should continue doing so for the next three or four years). I don't know much about your industry, but where I am, the pay scales are like so:

noob: 50k
2 years: 60k, getting into the 'intermediate' level of skill
4 years: 67k.
6 years: 75k, justifiable chance of being a 'senior' level of skill, if you haven't sat on your ass.

Past that, you end up in management or go into contracting/consulting.

Your industry is probably pretty different, where perhaps years of service count more than experience (which is a shit situation to be in when you're a young gun) or maybe it's a law firm model where you do shit work for years to get a chance at making partner.

Either way, you have to evaluate whether what you're getting out of your employer is helpful or harmful to your

* career
* wallet
* mental health

Ive known many people (especially in large, relatively sluggish companies) who got comfortable in a cushy and unchallenging role and stayed around for a very long time - say 10 or 15 years or even more. They might have moved around internally a little, but it was mostly a case of "one year of experience 15 times over". If you stay at your current job for another three years, will you have another three years useful experience, or not?


some food for thought:

http://www.news.com.au/business/work...-1226202749912

http://lancehaun.com/why-do-people-c...bad-companies/ (just found this guy's blog. Seems good)

[L'oiseau]

I'd just like to say this thread helped prompt me to seek out help in regards to the mental issues I've been having over the course of the past 2 or so years. I'm a college student who's been on a slow decline, academically, and I finally decided enough was enough. I decided that a slow descent into hell wasn't what I wanted for myself and to become the better person I've always told myself that I wanted to be I had to break cycle.

I'll probably throw some more elaboration as I take the necessary steps to deal with it. I took the first one tonight by approaching 2 of my closest fraternity brothers and friends and seeking their aid and insight. One offered the help of some professionals he knows and the other is going start helping me in my studies.

That's all for now. As I said I'm going to post more throughout the coming weeks/months. Cheers for all the help in this thread and big ups to those facing the same challenges.

[Sponk]

big ups keep us posted.

[Shin_getter]

Man, I've been depressed since forever and its really quite boring by this point. Granted I'm currently at a personal low point (which can be reflected by my activities on the forums: I have more productive things to do otherwise) after changing environment to a non-English speaking country (its my native tongue, but I can't express more academic ideas with it, the post secondary vocab just isn't there) and cutting ties with familiar social groups as a result.

That said, on some level I no longer really understand the point of sharing experiences since there are more efficient means of information collection in most cases, and most personal problems is nothing unique, especially for something as common as depression experiences. (within certain self selecting groups) Perhaps that line of depersonalized thinking is a problem, but it stands and I don't feel like putting more info out.

Uncommon emotional status means my posting is based on exploring down very strange intuitions though....

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Man, I've been depressed since forever and its really quite boring by this point. Granted I'm currently at a personal low point (which can be reflected by my activities on the forums: I have more productive things to do otherwise) after changing environment to a non-English speaking country (its my native tongue, but I can't express more academic ideas with it, the post secondary vocab just isn't there) and cutting ties with familiar social groups as a result.

That said, on some level I no longer really understand the point of sharing experiences since there are more efficient means of information collection in most cases, and most personal problems is nothing unique, especially for something as common as depression experiences. (within certain self selecting groups) Perhaps that line of depersonalized thinking is a problem, but it stands and I don't feel like putting more info out.

Uncommon emotional status means my posting is based on exploring down very strange intuitions though....

When it comes to mental health, talking is the most efficient means of communication. What you're doing is trying to get someone else to understand what it's like to have that inner-voice bouncing around in your skull. There's no blood test or scan that can do that.

If you're feeling down, it doesn't have to be that way. But going on with life and just trying to deal with it on your own seems like a horrible waste of life when you could be living that same stretch of time with a more sunny disposition. And there's something to be said about being less in the dumps attracts less in the dumps experiences. So the self-pity and wallowing is only dragging you down further.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

I'd just like to say this thread helped prompt me to seek out help in regards to the mental issues I've been having over the course of the past 2 or so years. I'm a college student who's been on a slow decline, academically, and I finally decided enough was enough. I decided that a slow descent into hell wasn't what I wanted for myself and to become the better person I've always told myself that I wanted to be I had to break cycle.

I'll probably throw some more elaboration as I take the necessary steps to deal with it. I took the first one tonight by approaching 2 of my closest fraternity brothers and friends and seeking their aid and insight. One offered the help of some professionals he knows and the other is going start helping me in my studies.

That's all for now. As I said I'm going to post more throughout the coming weeks/months. Cheers for all the help in this thread and big ups to those facing the same challenges.

Big ups mate.

The best comparison for how it is to live with chronic cyclic depression is drug addiction. If you keep at it, it's very manageable and as more time passes the easier it is for you to handle the little slips so they don't turn into big slips. And a lot of the experiences of the two are similar, you get a big rush and good feelings that you're getting things under control. The hard bit is two weeks to six months. Just remember that people do this everyday and we should accept that we won't 100% all of the time, but being 70% most of the time is better than being 10% or worse 0% for eternity.

[L'oiseau]

I'd just like to say this thread helped prompt me to seek out help in regards to the mental issues I've been having over the course of the past 2 or so years. I'm a college student who's been on a slow decline, academically, and I finally decided enough was enough. I decided that a slow descent into hell wasn't what I wanted for myself and to become the better person I've always told myself that I wanted to be I had to break cycle.

I'll probably throw some more elaboration as I take the necessary steps to deal with it. I took the first one tonight by approaching 2 of my closest fraternity brothers and friends and seeking their aid and insight. One offered the help of some professionals he knows and the other is going start helping me in my studies.

That's all for now. As I said I'm going to post more throughout the coming weeks/months. Cheers for all the help in this thread and big ups to those facing the same challenges.

Big ups mate.

The best comparison for how it is to live with chronic cyclic depression is drug addiction. If you keep at it, it's very manageable and as more time passes the easier it is for you to handle the little slips so they don't turn into big slips. And a lot of the experiences of the two are similar, you get a big rush and good feelings that you're getting things under control. The hard bit is two weeks to six months. Just remember that people do this everyday and we should accept that we won't 100% all of the time, but being 70% most of the time is better than being 10% or worse 0% for eternity.

Just an update.

Today I had a couple minor instances pop up, but nothing to the point I that felt like I wanted to baww my eyes up. I've begun (and actually have been for the past few weeks) to try to note the parameters associated with it. Notably if I'm home, by myself, and haven't gone out or am up real late does it get to the point that I feel like just giving up on everything and some real nasty thoughts start cropping into my head. I'm also starting to note a constant pressure or gravity of depression. Nothing major, but it always seems to be hanging on and waiting for something to trigger the bigger bouts.

Talking with my brothers last night has helped me not feel as helpless in regards to handling the situation. I mentioned the "gravity" before and feel like the bit of hope and relief of pressure I gained from talking to them has started to counteract it to some degree. However, I do still need to seek out a professional for some psychological and physiological evaluations.

[Sponk]

I've begun (and actually have been for the past few weeks) to try to note the parameters associated with it. Notably if I'm home, by myself, and haven't gone out or am up real late does it get to the point that I feel like just giving up on everything and some real nasty thoughts start cropping into my head.

This is why a common treatment for signs of depression is to ask ppl to come over and drag you out of your house and do stuff. Breaks you out of your rut, and gives you a reason to wake up and put on clothes.

[Raine Woot]

Sounds like how I felt when my roommate was gone for 2 weeks, found out I was actually really unhappy living alone despite thinking of myself as a loner for many years. It's amazing how a little human contact can lift you right out of it, if that is indeed the cause.

[L'oiseau]

Sounds like how I felt when my roommate was gone for 2 weeks, found out I was actually really unhappy living alone despite thinking of myself as a loner for many years. It's amazing how a little human contact can lift you right out of it, if that is indeed the cause.

Part of this for me is that I'm monumentally terrible at asking for help. I've got myself so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I sometimes forget I can simply call someone for help in regards to just about anything. And I brought this up Sunday evening and decided to handle it partially on Monday by going to my friend's house to study. With the added benefit of them being able to help me out if I had any questions or problems.

[Phrixus Zephyr]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

[indi]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

Disclaimer: not even going to *attempt* to diagnose you, because I have no qualifications and I don't know you.

What you describe reminds me of a friend of mine. He was also affected by nearly terminal "I find everything interesting", but I have no idea if that applies to you or not. If you'd asked me (and here you see why you shouldn't), I would have thought he had a smidgen of something manic. Turns out that later, after eventually flaking out of uni and not following through on several interesting jobs, he was firmly diagnosed with ADD and medicated. Not something he was immediately in favour of (or even something he believed), but suddenly he had a handle on his procrastination, etc. Moral of the story: sometimes you need to get a grip, man up and fucking do stuff or quit trying. SOmetimes, this might be a symptom of something else. I don't want to give you an 'excuse' to not get your stuff together even more, but perhaps you need to explore the possibility of an underlying problem with a professional?

Anyway, wish you the best and hope you get it sorted.

[Equium Duo]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

Sad five meight. I got this bad.

I know I have to do something and I just cant be fucked to do it. The fucker is that when I do something I'm all 'fuck yeah' but that feeling isn't enough to motivate me to carry on and/or follow through and do more stuff. I dunno. I even want to stop writing this post. lol. The weird thing is that this can even apply to games I play. Example: I have a way to print money in generic space MMO. Can;t be arsed. Sit there idling and talking a bit browsing forums etc.

The fucking absolute worst part of it has manifested recently (in the last 2-3 months) and that is my inability to just leave the PC at night and go to bed. I get completely sucked into websites like 9gag and fukung.net. Holy shit I can lose hours and hours into that. Fuck I even do it when I play world of tanks. I really wish I could do something about it but haha! IRONY OVERLOAD, Can't Be Arsed.

Latest mental issues has been in-explicable psychotic rage. To the tune I want to puke because I'm so angry. It's is unreal I'm totally and completely overwhelmed with rage lately. It's actually bothering me quite a lot. I'm angry at work, at home in the car. Everywhere! Raging a little right now thinking about it :3

[Sponk]

Depression can sometimes manifest as anger. Friend of my dads had that. Almost ruined his life because :too angry to get treatment:

[Phrixus Zephyr]

The weird thing is that this can even apply to games I play. Example: I have a way to print money in generic space MMO. Can;t be arsed. Sit there idling and talking a bit browsing forums etc.

Fucking snap.

List of games i have finished in the last... years. GTA:SA. Deus Ex, Mass Effect 1 & 2.
List of games i couldn't be bothered finishing or kept restarting as a different class/options (grass is greener...) so ended up replaying the first quarter of the game 3,4,5 times. Witcher. Dragon Age 1&2. Fall Out 1, 2, 3, NV. Oblivion. Skyrim. SPAZ. Bastion. Arkham Asylum. Braid. GTA 3, 4. Magika.. etc etc etc

[Equium Duo]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

[Grendelfreak]

Last couple of weeks something strange has been happening. While I have generally been in a good mood (reasonable chance of getting a supervisor job) I have been feeling tired physically and I am having trouble getting to sleep, usually not falling asleep until 2.30-3am. And to top it off the last few days I have been hearing things while trying to sleep or having just woken up. It is usually sounds like the Nokia ringtone or hearing "someone" say my name or a nickname.

A quick google showed that auditory hallucinations while sleepy are fairly normal but apart from "corner of the eye" hallucinations when pulling an all-nighter to write an essay this hasn't happened to me before and I don't know why it has suddenly started.