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Thread: The Sex Thread - Yes, Anal Play is Really Nice

  1. #1
    Moderator Moderator F*** My Aunt Rita's Avatar
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    The Sex Thread - Yes, Anal Play is Really Nice

    It needed to happen. So, here it is people.

    We will use our collective inexperience so that somewhere, someone might find this useful.

    Expert Team:
    Me
    Ralara
    Aea
    Lall
    Tarm
    Hast

    Ignore:
    Boomtown

    Also, this isn't a lol-thread. So don't even try to shit it up. I fucking love to infract mother fuckers.

  2. #2
    Moderator Moderator F*** My Aunt Rita's Avatar
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    <GranMasakari> and you can give us suggestions about how to avoid STD's, C/D FMAR
    Good question.

    First, always use protection. If you don't have a condom, don't have sex. If it breaks, pull out. Don't double wrap.

    Second, don't have sex with nasty stuff. Sometimes we're weak, it happens. Follow number one and immediately go to number three.

    Third, get tested. When I was single and plowing chubby ass behind a bar after work, I would get tested no more than every six months. Depending on my pulls, sometimes more.

    Fourth, monogamous relations are pretty decent at avoiding them. No guarantee, but get tested together to begin with and if you feel your relationship is dying go back to number one and three.

  3. #3
    Donor Jocelyn Fernos's Avatar
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    Great idea. I second the always use a condom, atleast until you know eachother and are tested. If she is on the pill and both are clean I tend to ignore the condoms, but I always have a pack at home. You never know when you might need them.

    Also a bit of advise from someone that have managed to get every girlfriend pregnant so far (No kids though!), don't be an idiot and ignore protection. I did that with my first GF that was 7 year older then me, she got pregnant and miscarried, I was just stupid and ignorant at that time and I'm "happy" no kid got out of it. It was not something planned and we did not even know about it until afterwards. My second and last GF got pregnant by misstake when the antibiotics she took from a sprained ankle interviend with her pills, we did an abortion as neither one of us where ready to be a parent (She was 18 at the time and I was 23), that was the begining of the end on that relationship.

    So, if she is taking any kind of medcine, either check with the doctor of any problems with the pills she might be taking or use a condom untill she have stopped and atleast gone one cycle on the pills before you start doing it without again.

    Will return later on with some tips on actual sex stuff, will be following this thread.

  4. #4
    FatFreddy's Avatar
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    Mallet Head Donor 56k Lagman's Avatar
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    I'm a fucking expert add me to that god damn list. Best advice for anyone who's unsure about how to fuck a bitch is to just take your goddamn time, they like things slow(unless they are crazy but then it just seems like you are teasing them hehe )
    Posting with the best interests of the failheap community in mind.

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    If you really are inexperienced with sex or still a virgin and about to get some, just let her do everything. What I mean by this is, make it playful like "you know it all" but you just want her to do it all for you because it's something you'd like or because it makes you "excited". Worked for me when I lost my virginity to a much older chick :V. Also don't try anything too complex your first time, stick with missionary + doggy for starters, later try other shit because jumping into that shit like you in a porn is bad way bro. Also if you are worried about busting a nut in 30 secs, use foreplay, excite her, make her come with those fingers, if she's pretty n1 use that tongue as well, otherwise fingers will suffice because nothing worse than going down on a bad fucking pussy. Watch some lesbian porn or something to get good tips on finding good spots to excite, because lesbos are bosses at the pussy licking. Also it helps to think of other stuff than how fucking good it feels that you are inside that pussy, think of some bad shit anything non sex related, it works sometimes, sometimes not, just depending on how good that chick is, but end result is, taking you longer to bust a nut.


    Also this is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU WILL EVER READ IN YOUR LIFE so read it. No matter what the fuck she tells you, if she's on the pill, that she's clean and all that other fucking shit that she is trying to sugar cote, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS use a condom. If this was 10+ years ago, I'd tell you its cool bro, but these days bitches get around like nobodies business, so use that damn condom and save yourself some trouble and worry.

  7. #7
    Donor Blutreiter's Avatar
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    Serious question:

    Often enough when I pound away like a jackhammer (she likes it deep (who doesnt...) ) she complains about abdominal pain, caused by the abuse the uterus has to take.

    That said, is there a position where this can be minimized? Myself, I really dig the good old doggy. Any other suggestions?

    Quote Originally Posted by James Lyrus
    they send you a pedometer, and set you daily activity targets
    Quote Originally Posted by Malcanis View Post
    There's no fucking way I'm googling '12" Hero'

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    Donor Blutreiter's Avatar
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    Addendum, the pain starts usually half an hour after we're done. So it's not like she is screaming in pain and I mentally highfive myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by James Lyrus
    they send you a pedometer, and set you daily activity targets
    Quote Originally Posted by Malcanis View Post
    There's no fucking way I'm googling '12" Hero'

  9. #9
    Mallet Head Donor 56k Lagman's Avatar
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    You're probably bashing against her cervix. What worked for me was doggy but her lying down, if she has an anyway decent ass it will stop you from going in as deep
    Posting with the best interests of the failheap community in mind.

  10. #10
    fuck entrox Donor Jason Marshall's Avatar
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    My wife is tiny and I frequently run into her Cervix. No real way around it if you like it deep and fast.

    She does like to angle it so i go in more at an angle sometimes, especially during doggy, that helps.

    "Sometimes someone just needs to be the OP" -Tellenta Philosopher of our People.

  11. #11
    Movember 2012 ctrlchris's Avatar
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    Mate we know all about your missus.
    Im fairly sure I could construct a scale model of her.

    also.
    +1'ing if its your first time dont try and become a porn star and if you can get her to "lead".


    Your posting is medium, its not rare and its not well done
    - Krans 26/7/12

  12. #12
    Helen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctrlchris View Post
    Mate we know all about your missus.
    Im fairly sure I could construct a scale model of her.

    also.
    +1'ing if its your first time dont try and become a porn star and if you can get her to "lead".
    Fuck man every time I read your posts I got this little aussie accent saying it while I read.

    It's actually keeping me amused on this crappy saturday night.

  13. #13
    Donor Rans's Avatar
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    A lot of people mentioned to put a lot of effort into the foreplay if you're not sure you're going to last long and that's true, but you can't do that then fuck her for 30seconds and blow your load, that just won't do, there's a pretty big difference between foreplay and actual fucking and while foreplay is awesome for both, you'll have a lot more fun and feel a lot more relieved if you can actually have your penis in her for 20minutes without exploding.

    For me what works is thinking about something completely different while we have sex, after foreplay she's so turned on that she'll stop paying attention to exactly what you do, so asume the position and just think about something that takes your concentration somewhere different, don't think about some disgusting or disturbing, you need to concentrate on something else, something that uses your imagination, I always think about cars. I imagine how I take off X or Y part of the car, it might sound stupid but it works, if you keep looking at her ass and concentrate on your sensations you'll explode fast, that's for sure. And when you last longer you'll start feeling more confident. And confidence changes your sex life completely.

    Also if you say "fuck yeah baby" during sex you're basically the worst.

  14. #14

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    Fuck the pill, get the implant.

    Also, re: braying her cervix, get her to kind of half sit up against a wall, so you're going both in and up. Requires you to basically suspend yourself over her, but in my experience it hits everything for both of you without allowing you to go balls deep and hard as a scouser on coke.

  15. #15
    Donor EchoEpsilon23's Avatar
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    Best way to avoid STDs is not to have sex, because theirs some STDs that can be transmitted simply from a kiss.

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    My girlfriend is on the nuva ring. Less hassle than the pill; only real downside is hitting it on occasion while fingering her. Not a problem during sex though. I'd highly recommend it.

  17. #17
    Donor Sparq's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by F*** My Aunt Rita View Post
    So don't even try to shit it up.
    But what about anal?

    Seriously though, TMA: anal and to a further extent, fisting.

    More specifically interested in the thoughts, opinions and experiences of our resident experts in the homosexual arts. I ask (to reiterate: seriously) because the IRC discussion sort of touched upon this, as far as anal play. Is fisting a more extreme extension of that line of exploration?

  18. #18
    Donor Aea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparq View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by F*** My Aunt Rita View Post
    So don't even try to shit it up.
    But what about anal?

    Seriously though, TMA: anal and to a further extent, fisting.

    More specifically interested in the thoughts, opinions and experiences of our resident experts in the homosexual arts. I ask (to reiterate: seriously) because the IRC discussion sort of touched upon this, as far as anal play. Is fisting a more extreme extension of that line of exploration?
    TBH unless you have a big frame (read: porky) I'm extremely puzzled about the logistics of sticking something that huge in an anus, in fact the idea is frightening.

  19. #19
    Donor Sparq's Avatar
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    Oh, good. That was what I was thinking. Cause, prostrate poking I could fathom - but an entire/significant portion of a limb? Alarm bells.

  20. #20
    Donor Blutreiter's Avatar
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    Prostate stimulation is pretty damn nice actually. One of my ex gfs talked me into it after I did her anally. She fingered me while she gave me a blowjob... and damn, it was pretty intense. Deffo would do again.

    Quote Originally Posted by James Lyrus
    they send you a pedometer, and set you daily activity targets
    Quote Originally Posted by Malcanis View Post
    There's no fucking way I'm googling '12" Hero'

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