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Thread: The Poo Thread 2.0

  1. #1
    Larkonis Trassler's Avatar
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    The Poo Thread 2.0



    Having just had a rigourous discussion in that terrible spaceship game about the different styles of pooing I will throw the discussion out to the rest of FHC.

    Do you live in a first world country? Do you have access to hot running water and clean prostitutes? If so then, like me, you probably prefer to sit while doing your business rather than squat over a hole and aim your rusty sheriff's badge like a crude cannon and hope you hit the bullseye.

    I recall, with little fondness, summer trips to the south of France as a child. Despite the good weather, good food, and splendid highways the Frogs still insist on installing those ghastly footprint jobs in their motorway rest stops. As an Englishman it's my god given right to be seated when I curl one out. Naturally I shied away from using these facilities and as a result family holidays were always marred by crippling constipation. The one time when I did venture into one of those poorly lit chambers to use the scatological torture device within I went to assume the position and found, to my dismay, that the rusty patch of chipped enamel on one of the foot guides was, in fact, the result of a round that had fallen short. I was not impressed at having to throw away one of my sandals and scrub my foot raw.

    I have traveled far and wide, seen some amazing cultures and also the depths of human savagery. But wherever I have been I have always endevoured to take civilisation with me and introduce it to the natives. I feel, more than anything, this is the greatest thing that the East can learn from the West.


  2. #2
    XenosisReaper
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    ok

    edit for content, anyone who does not sit to shit should be shot.

    IRL.

    4srs
    Last edited by XenosisReaper; October 27 2011 at 08:31:08 PM.

  3. #3
    PM me for a free Vagabond
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    I couldnt give a shit.


    really I couldnt.

  4. #4
    HEY LOOK AT ME I HAVE A TITAN LordsServant's Avatar
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    Just want to point out as per ingame discussion...I have added another reason to my list of "Why I am joining the Navy and not the Army or Marines."

    I'm sure the heads on ships are tiny, but they'd have to be pretty small/disgusting to be worse than some of the things I can imagine :P

    -Lords

    I am a Lamborghini tractor.

  5. #5
    Donor Spaztick's Avatar
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    OH GOD MY DICK TOUCHED THE TOILET SEAT PLEASE KILL ME NOW.

  6. #6
    walrus's Avatar
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    i actually went to find the old poo thread in the SHC archives, as it were the pinnacle of quality threads on SHC, i were unable to locate it however. So it is with great pleasure i read this thread.

    OT: When i have a really loose bowel movement, from almost liquid to annoyingly loose, afterwards it seems like my intestines overcompensate too much, making me constupated. Is this common?
      Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by RazoR View Post
    But islamism IS a product of class warfare. Rich white countries come into developing brown dictatorships, wreck the leadership, infrastructure and economy and then act all surprised that religious fanaticism is on the rise.
    Also:
    Quote Originally Posted by Tellenta View Post
    walrus isnt a bad poster.
    Quote Originally Posted by cullnean View Post
    also i like walrus.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmaNutin View Post
    Yer a hoot

  7. #7
    THE PUNISHED
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spaztick View Post
    OH GOD MY DICK TOUCHED THE TOILET SEAT PLEASE KILL ME NOW.
    I use one of my hands to "hold" it back.

  8. #8
    XenosisReaper
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    I never worked out how France dealt with diarrhea

  9. #9
    Pacefalm's Avatar
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    Obligatory "shit thread"

    Also, I hate it when it's too hard and I rip a vein when taking a shit. inb4 drink more water.
    Quote Originally Posted by QuackBot View Post
    I'm doing my best. Well. Not really.

  10. #10
    Muffinsrevenger's Avatar
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    This is worse then normal, even if the OP has a interesting philosophical angle

  11. #11
    XenosisReaper
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pacefalm View Post
    Obligatory "shit thread"

    Also, I hate it when it's too hard and I rip a vein when taking a shit. inb4 drink more water.
    The fuck I have never done this or ever heard of it what the fuck.

  12. #12
    Aurora148's Avatar
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    >squeezes hard and it feels like shitting out a bowling ball
    >gets up and sees that its the size of a pea

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

  13. #13
    walrus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by XenosisReaper View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Pacefalm View Post
    Obligatory "shit thread"

    Also, I hate it when it's too hard and I rip a vein when taking a shit. inb4 drink more water.
    The fuck I have never done this or ever heard of it what the fuck.
    obligatory "you are used to large hard objects"
      Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by RazoR View Post
    But islamism IS a product of class warfare. Rich white countries come into developing brown dictatorships, wreck the leadership, infrastructure and economy and then act all surprised that religious fanaticism is on the rise.
    Also:
    Quote Originally Posted by Tellenta View Post
    walrus isnt a bad poster.
    Quote Originally Posted by cullnean View Post
    also i like walrus.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmaNutin View Post
    Yer a hoot

  14. #14
    Movember 2012Donor ctrlchris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by XenosisReaper View Post
    I never worked out how France dealt with diarrhea
    I had never thought about it untill now but I need to know this.


    Your posting is medium, its not rare and its not well done
    - Krans 26/7/12

  15. #15
    Exortius's Avatar
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    I've been everywhere in France but Paris (lol) and I have only encountered 1 squat toilet, and it was in an english pub.

    Personally, I prefer to lean forward with a slight lift, this lines up your innards just right. Feels good man.

  16. #16
    Aurora148's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctrlchris View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by XenosisReaper View Post
    I never worked out how France dealt with diarrhea
    I had never thought about it untill now but I need to know this.
    yahoo answers to the rescue http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...1212613AAAm07g

  17. #17
    Exortius's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora148 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by ctrlchris View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by XenosisReaper View Post
    I never worked out how France dealt with diarrhea
    I had never thought about it untill now but I need to know this.
    yahoo answers to the rescue http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...1212613AAAm07g
    lol'd hard at that answer

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora148 View Post
      Spoiler:

    Source(s):
    A dodgy curry


    This made my day.

  19. #19
    Reed Tiburon's Avatar
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    Source: a dodgy curry
    hehehe
    FourFiftyFour > reed i enjoy your trolling on shc immensly

  20. #20
    XenosisReaper
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    I remember being aged 11 on a french school trip and eating curry for dinner, the next morning I may have carpet bombed the camping site's squat toilet, I kept quiet and went off the play football, 10 minutes later a 40 year old french man stormed out of the toilets and started shouting at us in broken english whilst gesturing towards his food "MY FOOT, YOUR ASS"

    We never could work out if he meant he'd stepped in shit or if he was going to give us a kicking.

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