The "OH MY GOD MY TEAM WENT FULL RETARD %@$%#^$@!" Megathread

[dzajic]

http://worldoftanks.eu/community/acc...549533-padroz/

Homo Retardus Mongoloidus

Just saw this guy in fully upgraded Tiger 2 get his ass kicked by 107mm KV-2. They were playing peekaboo and KT showed his flank every single time, and got penned every single time and eventually burned. I think he had to be using auto aim as he bounced every single shot of KV-2's turret. Surprisingly we won.

[Dr Halberstam]

Lakeville, south spawn.

I swear to god, the next time my team piles into the western valley while leaving the town and middle road all but empty, (and then proceed to idly stare at the two mediums on the other side of the crest twiddling their thumbs), ban or no ban, I'm gonna get in their backs and start butchering the lot of them. Maybe that will force them to cross, cos apparently nothing else ever does.

Vent over. Will upload replay when it eventually happens in the next couple of days.

[Dirk Magnum]

That damn valley. Every time. Two teams enter. 14 minutes later the sole survivor leaves and they're not from your team.

[Smegs]

Currently banned for tking two twats in a tigger and a jagdpanther who camped in the corner of Fishermans bay by the church, without firing a shot, whilst our top tier tank (M109) got gang raped by meds after asking for help during a push. They were repeatedly asked to support the M103, but they just sat there. Listening to their whining afterwards was great.

[Xiang Jiao]

No draw is complete without three afk tankers:

  Spoiler:

and two arty who have run out of ammo at the end:

  Spoiler:

I was smacking the hell out of the Hummel for no good reason other than it was so easy. He would stop everything now and then to slowly type "FU" into team chat. At this point, he had already gone AFK ragequit style, I imagine. The Grille missed him at about 100 yards with his last shell, rammed him once and tried to cap. If the Grille had gone straight for cap, they would have won it. Hysterical game all around. I'd upload the replay but I think it got corrupted since the client likes to crash sometimes when taking screen shots.

[zergl]

No draw is complete without three afk tankers:

  Spoiler:

The VK36 is crashed/disconnected at the first screenshot at least. Looks loaded in the second screenshot, but obviously impossible to tell if he managed to reconnect and stay afk before he died from the screenshot. He's also still a bad unless he had a hard crash/BSOD and needed to reboot because I usually manage to reconnect before the countdown runs out when WoT crashes.


No excuse for the KV and the Wespe, though.

[Xiang Jiao]

He never connected. I don't really care why it is, he's still an afk.

Dropped another 10+ games in a row. What the fuck happened to my Tuesday night sanctuary? Did all the decent players quit?

[dzajic]

Defeat
Battle: South Coast Wednesday, 06 June, 2012 11:58:43
Vehicle: IS-8
Experience received: 813
Credits received: 44,211
Battle Achievements: Hunter, Top Gun

All our surviving tanks went to cap while two of theirs had started cap already. I was a idiot and am down to 100hp, I approach Tiger II and VK36 capping, I bounce the shot of KT and position so that rocks hide me from him, I aim for the VK36 but I have to pull back as I don't want to bounce on his mantlet and I can't depress the gun enough. He penetrates me from the front.

IS8 is sometimes mega epic piece of shit. T9 Russian heavy that can be penned from front by 132 pen gun. WTF!

[punkboy101]

Oh, the rage.

Seems like all my teams do in the last couple of days is leave one flank/approach to our spawn entirely undefended, pouring like lemmings in one half of the map, while the other is FUKKEN EMPTY.
I cant count the times I have been horribly mauled by the six or so enemies waltzing in, unopposed by anyone but my unlucky self. Then they proceed to cap, while the lemming train is bogged down on the other side of the world, not giving a shit about the home front

Most prevalent example: steppes, north spawn. they all pour towards the rocky part in the southwest, the deep road (valley?) in the east totally empty (well, except for me). Happened several times.
I ask for help, I smack, I beg, nothing. Some TDs stay in base, and proceed to stare south hoping for someone to crest in the middle or something, while I spot and die to fukken horde of invaders. Bitches dont even turn toward me, they just *ignore* everything

Is this me being bad, should I stop trying to shore up a flank on my own and just go with the flow of stupid, hoping for a quick breakthrough? But it feels so dumb

Sums up my feelings too. There has been about 5 games that I can remember this week where I've managed to hold off the enemy horde like a boss solo or if I'm lucky another guy, only for my team to fail hard. It makes me rage so hard when I see the rest of the team being held off on the other side of the map by a single loltractor or something equally retarded. I've actually given up any hope of getting good teams now, so when I get a competent one I'm amazed. I just do my thing and let the bads do theirs, and hope for the best while having fun.

That's one reason I don't put a huge amount of trust into win rates, because no matter how good the player individually, if they get paired with 14 idiots they will lose almost every-time. Skill levels tend to be something I pay more attention too, but it's not perfect. I've won games with a 12% chance of winning and lost one at 84%.

[Daco]

This first match was epic fail on MM part: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B1G...E9SZ1lvMkZLbDQ

And this one was just hilarious: https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B1G...0xPdFpxcjFXVXM

[Mr Marram]

So playing on Himmelsdorf (thanks chris) normally one of my favourite maps, ideal for hitting exposed
Fla is very quickly in fast tanks.

We start south and I start rolling up the hill, I go to overtake a type59 and he doesn't see me and cuts me up, meh I lose no HP and he lost 30, a vk3001p then decides to shoot me in the back, I turn around and return fire, he carries on and tracks me, 2 more shots and he is down, fucking tard. He was platooned with an obj. 212, who then tries to TK me, I piss on his day too, I then roll up th hill and crush and enemy Batchat and Patton, dying to an E-50 while the type59 and a M103 watch from behind a wall.
Looking at XVM after I died the vk and 212 were barely pushing 1k ranking between then

1.4k xp, 0 credits.

Also I'm now blue I think, had 3-4 games but no one has shot at me or even said anything.

[ctrlchris]

So playing on ruinberg (the one with the train tracks on one side and the castle on the hill on the other) normally one of my favourite maps, ideal for hitting exposed
Fla is very quickly in fast tanks.

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Himmelsdorf?

[Fourfingers frankie]

I've dropped three percent off my type winrate in a week. Can't seem to consistently win atm

[Stormscion]

get two more buddies in types and it will get better

[Amith]

I've dropped three percent off my type winrate in a week. Can't seem to consistently win atm

Im all up for type rape trains

[dzajic]

Defeat
Battle: Ruinberg Saturday, 09 June, 2012 15:08:43
Vehicle: Type 59
Experience received: 1,005
Credits received: 87,688

Pretty much entire day has been like this. Still haven't gotten first wins with T34 and Type. Considering I have 450 games on Type it means a lot to say that in last two days I got it from nearly 60% win down to 57%.

[dzajic]

So I had 65% win on T25/2 two days ago. Well I don't have it any more. I lost fucking 10% on that tank. And I finally had the honoUr to have a stock IS4 in my team. Match before was platoon of JTiger and 2 ISUs with 175pen 122 guns.

[Dirk Magnum]

Terrible slog up the middle swamp in Karelia with no enemy contact. It's my Slugger, two Tigers, and a KV-2. Contact occuring in the highlands on either side of us and the rest of the team is mostly killed. Me and the heavies are within shooting distance of the enemy flag defenders, and the heavies stop. Enemy forces on the sides have now penetrated our base and are killing our artillery, so it's just me and the middle heavies left.

Broadcast "follow me" and lead the charge into the enemy base, because we'll never make it back in time to defend our own flag. I clear away the enemy arty and a tier 6 VK tank of some kind and am nearly in the capture circle before the friendly heavies start moving. Slugger leads the way! Wait... why is a Slugger leading the way? So aggravating.

Defeat
Battle: Karelia Sunday, June 10, 2012 10:52:34 AM
Vehicle: M36 Slugger
Experience received: 373
Credits received: 13,172

[mewninn]

first the two pattons don't go hill on mines. then everyone pubbies into city or sits in really terrible spots that cant cover the approaches.

this ends with a bunch of their heavies including an e-100 completely stopping on the path up to aim at me and none of them take much damage.

There's kinda subtle stuff that pubbies miss like passive spotting lanes on a map or arty safe areas, and there's obvious glaring features of a map that can't get ignored, but do.

[Jurskjeld]

Mines is about HILL.
HILL.

HILL.