The "OH MY GOD MY TEAM WENT FULL RETARD %@$%#^$@!" Megathread

[Xiang Jiao]

On a x5 weekend, they decide to go for a cap when half the enemy team is still alive and we have a strong upper hand.

You can shoot them, but I found out that team damage doesn't restart the timer if you don't commit to killing them, so it's best to shoot tanks that are low HP and one shot from dying. I rammed and shot a full health T-50-2 that capped right in front of me after I asked him to please stop, twice. Luckily, his capping alerted a Tiger II (enemy), who came over and killed him and another capping team mate while I quietly hid and shot him when he was busy helping me kill my noobs. I didn't get very good xp anyway, but it was better than it would have been had we made it to 100% flag capture, which we were pretty close to doing. The xp penalty I got for shooting the T-50-2 was miniscule. I love how the T-50-2 driver freaked out and starting calling for me to be banned by everyone after that.

[metacannibal]

*
Defeat
Battle: Murovanka Sunday, 15. April 2012 20:59:58
Vehicle: IS-4
Experience received: 1.315
Credits received: 75.445
Battle Achievements: Steel Wall





aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Al Simmons]

I kind of want to play this game for some 5x action, but I don't want to run into all the retards you guys are bitching about. It's bad enough at normal times.

[Swiss]

It's a toss up between being on awful teams who die in record time, or playing against awful people who face you with your side armour, ping against your strongest points or miss consistently and then try to ram you when things don't go their way.

Actually, it's come to the point where even the bads on the other side make me rage now. There's no satisfaction in killing them, I didn't have to engage my brain. More like punching a crying baby.

[Xiang Jiao]

Why does my team act like utter faggots when I try to drive my E-50? I've had three games in a row now where some faggot gets behind me to use me as a shield and I can't back up, then they fucking shoot me and blame me for getting in their way. And then the enemy kills me because I can't back up. I've run out of complaints already. WTF? I have 31% wins in this piece of shit. By the time I get the gun of awesome, I'm not going to be able to dig myself out of the hole.

[CaptainNopants]

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

[Corwyna]

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

That is fucking horrible. Be strong, bro

[ctrlchris]

*
Defeat
Battle: Mountain Pass Thursday, April 19, 2012 9:13:47 PM
Vehicle: IS
Experience received: 1,080
Credits received: 46,398
Battle Achievements: Boelter's Medal, Top Gun

[Aeolos]

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

That's without a doubt the best loss I've ever seen. Shit son.

[AssaultHamster]

So, in Komarin, 8 meds on our side. Epic wolfpack time right? We decide on a flank and everyone "affirmatives".....and then we're rolling, and everyone is actually doing what was planned. So I'm burning on ahead and the first enemy heavy comes into view , and I'm thinking this guy is dead, and start laying into him. *3 seconds later, I'm dead from an absolute shit ton of fire, because everyone else, apparently at the sight of a red, stopped to snipe, way back, out of LoS, in the middle of an open field (the enemy cap zone).

That should have been an epic game (med games like that always should be) but these fuckers turned round and took a massive shit on me. :-/

[Saman Ayan]

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

Fucking hell. Got replay?

[Dogbeast]

Welp.

I just went 5 games in my Ausf B and Object 212 without a single win.

First game in my Ausf B, every flank but mine folds like a wet napkin and they cap before I can return to base.

Second game in Ausf B on Erlenburg, I get hit 2x by the same GWP within the first 2 minutes trying to defend the south. Both times, I get set on fire....Then to finish me off, a T29 rolls up in front of me and penetrates me for 362 damage, killing me.

Then I try my Object 212, and I get Province. Only my side has some retards that refuse to shoot back at the enemy. Even had an E-100 who went solo vs an ARL 44, and lost...

Then I go back to Ausf B, and the map is Malinovka. Nothing for me to do but go north and hold off their inevitable rush. What do our mediums do? Go north obviously and pretend they are heavy tanks. Oh, they had 4 high end arties as well. Mediums died in a ball of fire without doing anything noticable. So now its a T29, IS-4, and myself holding the north. Next thing I know, the IS-4 get's 1 shotted from 1790 to 0hp from a direct T92 hit. Then I take a splash from an Object 212. The enemy Maus and Ausf B decide to push me, so I knock out the Ausf B with 400hp remaining (Kept myself behind some wrecks so Maus couldn't shoot me properly). Our arty finally kill the now open Maus and it's just me and the T29 vs their lone T34. I try to hunker down, as all 4 enemy arty are still alive....then I get hit by an Object 212 again. T29 decides that pushing against an entrenched T34 is smart, and gets a face full of arty in return.

Maybe try my luck with Object 212 again. This time it's Erlenburg, so I get set up in a decent spot where I can hit their city tanks and watch the 0 line. Wait, what? We have an IS-4 going the 0 line...um ok. And our Scouts all rushed head long into their city force, and died. I start working on their city tanks, taking out a Tiger and damaging their IS-7 and IS. Then I look back to see what is going on with the 0 line push. Our IS-4 cant hit their single Type 59, and is ignoring the AMX13 90 that is railing into his ass. Our AMX13 75 is trying to help the IS-4, but he obviously has a 50% crew and isn't hitting anything. I kill the AMX13 90 with a well placed round, but it's too late. Another Type 59 comes to play with our IS-4 (whom btw is fully upgraded) and our IS-4 dies in a fire. I let loose a last round putting a Type 59 down to ~100hp, and the other Type 59 is still at 1100 hp. Our IS-4 did nothing aside from hiding behind a building. And arty wasn't even shooting at him... They capped on us with a stock E-75 and an assortment of other tier 7-8 tanks, while we had an M103, JT, and an Ausf A.

I saw how the night was progressing, and said "fuck it!" Logging off is the new AFK Cloaking.

[Xiang Jiao]

That's nothing! I lost ten in a row today, and received a week long chat ban for my troubles.

[halka]

Started the day with a match where a lone PTS member asked the team to "please not be retarded". From there everything went surprisingly well.

[Xiang Jiao]

Taking pot shots around a corner at a 50B in my IS-3, Pershing gets on my ass and prevents me from backing up, ammo rack explodes - RAGE!

[CaptainNopants]

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

Fucking hell. Got replay?

That day I was testing out the konisch everyone talks about. Hope thats the right replay.
http://s000.tinyupload.com/index.php...65532106681751

[CaptainNopants]

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

Fucking hell. Got replay?

Think this is the one. First day testing out the kornisch (sp?)
http://s000.tinyupload.com/index.php...81751&gk=forex

[Takon Orlani]

That's nothing! I lost ten in a row today, and received a week long chat ban for my troubles.

I raged a bit in general about tards capping when they are in the +

[Lusulpher]

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

Fucking hell. Got replay?

He better, I posted my 1600XP KT Defeatw/ replay and I'll be damned if someone breaks it in a non-OP tank! : pout :

[CaptainNopants]

http://s000.tinyupload.com/index.php...1751&gk=laptop
Testing konisch that day.

Defeat
Battle: Westfield Wednesday, April 18, 2012 8:00:22 PM
Vehicle: VK 3601 (H)
Experience received: 1,708
Credits received: 58,903
Battle Achievements: Master Gunner, Sharpshooter

...

Fucking hell. Got replay?