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Thread: Dwarf Fortress Boatmurder

  1. #21

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    You guys leave your room normally? Sounds just like free room service!

  2. #22
    Lachesis VII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    rude.
    Necessary.


  3. #23

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    I'd like to complain that I didn't receive the small pink umbrella with the drink today as I had requested.

  4. #24
    Movember '12 Best Facial Hair Movember 2012Donor Lallante's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Coutu View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    r.e. equipping bolts: Don't store them in barrels and they can only equip 1 type at once, that should solve it.
    Same for seeds, seeds get used up all at once from Bagan in barrels, have to just throw seeds in a stockpile in bags
    Can you talk me through how i do this

  5. #25
    NoirAvlaa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lallante View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Coutu View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    r.e. equipping bolts: Don't store them in barrels and they can only equip 1 type at once, that should solve it.
    Same for seeds, seeds get used up all at once from Bagan in barrels, have to just throw seeds in a stockpile in bags
    Can you talk me through how i do this
    On stockpiles there's a button to increase or decrease barrels etc, just set them all to 0 and then they'll only stock seeds in bags there
    Quote Originally Posted by Djan Seriy Anaplian View Post
    Also that didn't sound like abloo bloo to me, PM me and we can agree on a meeting spot and settle this with queensberry rules, that's a serious offer btw. I've been a member of this community since 2005 and i've never met a more toxic individual.

  6. #26
    Lachesis VII's Avatar
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    The Dictatorship of Lachesis VII has ended with a peaceful transfer of power on 1 Granite, in the Year 110.

    I have handed off the fort to its next administrator, LobbyZ. Moreover, I have bequeathed him, and all who follow, with virtually infinite mechanical and thermal power.

    Many grand monuments have been built in honor of the valiant combatants who defended Knifering from a steady stream of goblin sieges, loose undead, and forgotten beasts, while this grand engineering project was completed.

    I made a ton of screenshots, and will post a detailed writeup in the next day or two.

  7. #27
    Movember '12 Best Facial Hair Movember 2012Donor Lallante's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lallante View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Coutu View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    r.e. equipping bolts: Don't store them in barrels and they can only equip 1 type at once, that should solve it.
    Same for seeds, seeds get used up all at once from Bagan in barrels, have to just throw seeds in a stockpile in bags
    Can you talk me through how i do this
    On stockpiles there's a button to increase or decrease barrels etc, just set them all to 0 and then they'll only stock seeds in bags there
    Thanks - How do I set crossbow squads to only use one type of bolt at once? Bolts arent part of uniform anymore.

  8. #28
    NoirAvlaa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lallante View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lallante View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Coutu View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    r.e. equipping bolts: Don't store them in barrels and they can only equip 1 type at once, that should solve it.
    Same for seeds, seeds get used up all at once from Bagan in barrels, have to just throw seeds in a stockpile in bags
    Can you talk me through how i do this
    On stockpiles there's a button to increase or decrease barrels etc, just set them all to 0 and then they'll only stock seeds in bags there
    Thanks - How do I set crossbow squads to only use one type of bolt at once? Bolts arent part of uniform anymore.
    Assign only a specific bolt into the barracks where they get their equipment from maybe?
    Quote Originally Posted by Djan Seriy Anaplian View Post
    Also that didn't sound like abloo bloo to me, PM me and we can agree on a meeting spot and settle this with queensberry rules, that's a serious offer btw. I've been a member of this community since 2005 and i've never met a more toxic individual.

  9. #29
    Lachesis VII's Avatar
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    In the year of Armok 107, on the First of Granite, I, Lachesis VII, returned to the fortress of Knifering to observe the second reign of NoirAvlaa, the fortress' founder and first intendant. Knowing I was to assume power after his return to the mountainhome, I sought to familiarize myself with the many changes and "improvements" made to the fort during the years following my last visit.

    I had eagerly read dispatches from other commanders, but what I saw with Noir astounded me. Very little meaningful work had been done—yes the fort's population had increased, and we had some more amenities, but in terms of productive capacity little had changed. The workshop floor was essentially the same as I had left it. So, as Noir worked, I began planning for my time in power, determined to solve the major bottleneck in the fort's productive capacity: its dependence upon wood for fuel. Moreover, I judged that the current source of mechanical power, windmills, was simply too vulnerable, as the various power shafts created openings into the fort, and the windmills themselves were vulnerable to attack from large creatures.

    On the last day of Obsidian, 107, Noir departed the fort and handed me the keys to the lever system. By this time, I had a plan.

    First off, I noted that Noir's new trade depot was subject to constant flooding, but lacked: a) adequate static drainage, and b) a way to seal the depot to deal with merchants who charge too much for their wares. So I installed more drains and some floodgates, though in my merciful wisdom declined to actually make the depot sealable, though the mechanisms to do so are present.




    Meanwhile, shortly after I took command, another forgotten beast arrived—the first of many, as it turned out.



    Aril Fosiga Lek was soon beset by the valiant war dog ushrir Narkib, who perished in the struggle.



    However, the dog's sacrifice allowed valiant human pikeman monster slayer Tis Peromucaf time to get to the fight; Tis promptly impaled the forgotten beast through the head, striking it down.



    A statue commemorating this event was commissioned and placed into the cavern tavern. I also commissioned a statue for Stodir Wiskerdbasements, the marksdwarf who kicked Cakuth's head off.




    Meanwhile, I began laying out my grand engineering project. The first step was to strike for the lower caverns and the magma sea, which I located at Z -116. Upon breaching the magma sea, the miners informed me that they had seen raw adamantine.



    I leave it to future rulers to take advantage of this discovery; with our industry in the sorry state I found it in, extracting adamantine strands was simply too much, too soon.

    After locating the caverns, I ordered the miners to dig a pair of channels deep in the mountain, and excavate a grand powerplant hall above these channels. Then, we began digging for the ocean, hundreds of urists above the powerplant.

    While this work was underway, yet another forgotten beast appeared!




    Tis Peromucaf leapt into action, but was struck down by the vile creature's venom, and perished on the stairway below the cavern tavern.



    Meanwhile, one of the fortress' own valiant axedwarves, Morul Atisasol Aristetol Edol joined the fray, and proceeded to take a bite out of the giant worm—not with her axe, but with her teeth! Though this wound was not mortal, Morul soon slew the worm, adding it to her substantial list of kills. A statute was commissioned to memorialize the battle.




    For her valor, she was appointed commander of the fort's reorganized militia. The military has been rationalized and reorganized into six squads:

    The Hammerers, commanded by the captain of the guard, and equipped entirely with hammers.

    The Mountain Axes and the Cavern Axes, commanded by the Militia Commander, Morul, and another axe dwarf. These squads have eight axes and two crossbows.

    Phalanx I and Phalanx II, each with 10 speardwarves.

    The Walls, a squad entirely of crossbow dwarves.

    The Phalanxes and Walls were assigned defensive burrows at the front gate and fortifications, respectively.

    I also set up an area for siege operator training, constructing catapults and ballistae next to the barracks, and installed four catapults on the fort's battlements.

    By 5th Limestone, construction on the powerplant hall, the ocean ducts, and the drainage channels was complete, and water began to flow into the depths of the fortress, mighty, powerful, and safely contained.




    A pair of waterwheels was constructed to test the flow, and lo, Armok deemed us worthy—the water was indeed flowing. Infinite power was at hand.



    But now came the difficult part. This power was to be harnessed for one primary purpose: to lift magma from the great sea and into the fort. To that end, as soon as I took command I ordered the forges to construct fifty iron pipe sections and fifty enormous iron corkscrews. Thankfully the iron industry I started during my first tenure had built up a stockpile of several hundred iron bars—enough for the task at hand. But industry was not enough: ingenuity was required to design the pump stack, and an iron hand was needed to oversee its construction.

    There were no obvious places that would allow a clean dig straight to the magma sea; the best layout I was able to conceive nevertheless pierced the third cavern layer, necessitating painstaking construction of walls and floors to ensure magma-tightness. But the work was ordered, and by late autumn, the excavation was complete. I then painstakingly ordered the construction of nearly fifty screw pumps, a score of waterwheels, and all of the necessary mechanical linkages.

    At about this time, a gorlak decided to enter the fort through the cavern tavern. This poor beast was harried by the dogs, retching and bleeding all over the tavern, though it showed no signs of aggression.




    A stalemate ensued, with the dogs unable to kill the creature, but the creature unwilling to retreat. So I sent the military after it. And who responded but the fortress' most faithful servant, Morul Atisasol Aristetol Edol! Naked and unarmed, she jumped into the fray and slew the gorlak.




    Shortly thereafter came a goblin siege. A small one—only six of the wretched greenskins. The Mountain Axes were dispatched, and one brave dwarf, Edzul Kegethalath, rushed ahead of her squad and, naked but for a shield and her axe, single-handedly dispatched the entire invading force with such vigor that goblin bits were left hanging in the trees.





    A statute was, of course, commissioned in honor of this glory.



    Almost immediately after the goblins were massacred, a representative of the nearby necromancer tower showed up, requesting a parley.



    We do not negotiate with the undead, and this request was promptly denied. The representative departed without conflict.

    By this time it was midwinter, and the pump stack was nowhere near completed. With a heavy heart, and mindful of the potential consequences, I decided to seize absolute power until such time as the grand engineering project could be completed. The glorious ends justified the means.

    Throughout the first year, our population continued to swell, approaching 200 dwarves. Discontent at the harsh labor conditions mounted, and soon a peasant was found dead in the upper levels of the fort.



    An investigation soon revealed that Erib Obokamal Saredos Morul, a stoneworker and hammerdwarf, was the culprit. His tantrum had also destroyed numerous workshops. Curiously, however, nobody actually saw him kill the peasant, and so I was unable to convict him of this heinous crime. Erib was imprisoned for 150 days in the newly constructed dungeon.



    Unfortunately, my dungeon expansion project was not without incident. I had noticed several undead humans in the FHC taven and thought this an inappropraite place for such creatures. Instead, I created a series of pit cells adjacent to the barracks, and ordered the undead cast into the pit. Sadly, while being transferred to their new homes, they escaped from their captors and went on a rampage.



    They were soon dispatched, but not without heavy casualties.



    This of course necessitated the expansion of the tombs, though the dwarves were slow to bury their dead and several rotted in place.

    Shortly afterwards, a fourth forgotten beast arrived.



    It proceeded to the cavern tavern, where it was promptly killed by the revelers within.



    Doren Shemrithar, captain of Phalanx I, who was in the tavern on his own business, is credited with the kill—his first blood.




    While waiting for the pump stack to build, I also started walling off a section of the caverns adjacent to the tavern.



    Soon after the new year, on 3rd Granite, 109, a fifth forgotten beast appeared in the caverns below the fort.




    I sent the Cavern Axes after it, but it quickly eviscerated two legendary axe dwarves who were caught in its webs. I ordered a retreat, and left the beast to its haunt. Eventually it was killed by a blind cave ogre, who also perished in the fight.



    Another goblin siege arrived, and was swiftly defeated by our mighty military, with no casualties.




    And then a sixth forgotten beast arrived.



    I did not bother to dispatch the military; it soon met its doom at the hand of some cavern creatures, unseen and unrecognized.

    By midautumn of 109, the glorious moment had arrived: the pump stack was complete and ready to be activated. On 12th Sandstone, the pumps began to turn. On 13th Sandstone, the lava channel was cut, and on 20th Sandstone the final piece of the system, the magma drain channel grate, was placed. With grand ceremony I ordered the lever pulled! Magma began to rise almost fifty levels into the heart of the fortress, into the newly constructed forging zone.





    I also set up an obsidian farm, which, of course worked perfectly, because I designed it.




    Let it be known that, from this moment forth, 20th Sandstone shall be a holiday in the halls of Knifering!

    Of course this was the perfect moment for a seventh forgotten beast to arrive.



    It proceeded to the tavern, where it killed most of the people inside, a total of 12 in all. Eventually it was struck down, but in the chaos nobody knows who struck the final blow.



    With the magma system working, I turned my attention to more mundane matters, like providing sleeping quarters for the 202 dwarves who call the fortress home. Morale was sagging after nearly two years of forced labor and rapid population growth, so I ordered the construction of nearly 100 new beds and bedrooms.

    I will close my journal by recounting the story of the human maceman, Batow Firetwisted. Somehow, unknown to history, this monster hunter managed to find her way into the lower caverns—perhaps when the pump stack was under construction. Alone, she ventured forth into the dense underlichen. Despite being offered a way home, through a door constructed for this purpose, and despite having lost her weapon somewhere in the caverns, she refused to come in from the cold and has, for nearly a year, subsisted on cave vermin and fungus.




    In the closing months of my reign, two more forgotten beasts appeared in the lower caverns, the eighth and ninth of my tenure.




    These firey beasts soon set most of the lower caverns aflame.



    Since their arrival, the beasts have hounded Batow, but Batow remains undefeated. She has engaged them in the water, nullifying the effect of their fire breath, but lacking a weapon has been unable to damage them. Somehow, they are unable to damage her, and she is able to run away faster than they can chase.

    I pray that the next commander of the fort finds a way to rescue her.

    And thus, on 1 Granite, in the year of Armok 110, I turned over command of the fort peacefully. Some problems for future intendants include dealing with the two forgotten beasts lurking in the lower caverns, and, most importantly, solving the fort's morale problem before a tantrum spiral begins.

    I wish you good luck.
    Last edited by Lachesis VII; January 12 2023 at 07:11:06 PM.

  10. #30
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    On the year of 110 with the blessing of Arnok and all the gods, I took over yet again. Oh boy has the reports streaming in worried me greatly.

    Kivish dead.. How could this be? Who would let sucH a glorious badass die? It would explain why so many issues happened after her death especially with... the Genocide(TM) by ruler Venec. But enough of that.

    I took over and went through what seemed like a gigantic expansion to the fort. We got power plants, huge forges and smelters run by unlimited lava and more exploration of the caverns. I also saw how filthy and muddy the main areas of the fort was so I set out to try clean the place up, no respecting dwarf would live in a mud pile. That's for Goblins. Speaking of goblins, there was a raid right away. Like the day after I took over. Bad omen? Perhaps. I looked over our military and it has expanded quite nicely to over fifty dwarfs in different setups although mismatching and weird weapons.. Like what is a crossbow? They told me it's some sort of ranged weapons. Bah, in this fort we look at the enemy's eyes as we slaughter them. Melee only!

    So I ordered them to set out and stomp the goblins which they did with pretty much no losses. I believe they tried to save their captured comrades so naturally as any good dwarf do, we executed them all. Not quickly of course, that'd be mercy to these animals. We chained them up in a chamber and locked the doors. One of my aides heard through the door that they wanted to buy their freedoms and when they didn't get a response, they kept cursing us but the mood got very silent after as the water started rushing into the chamber. We drowned all prisoners and executed the rest with the dog army when they refused to cooperate.

    This fort believes in a no-goblin zone. I expect the next rulers to uphold that. Also got a request from.. The guild of Love? To establish a doctor's guild? I thought we used science here, not rampant deviancy.

    Days and weeks went by with no threats really so I focused more on expanding our tombs, guildhalls and bedrooms. A minotaur showed up but was quickly slayed. Kivish would be proud.

    Then disaster struck. Quite a big one. First we get raided by a sizable goblin army, like 10 to twenty. We lost like four dwarves to them. Then right away during that battle? A huge powerful undead army pops in with several monsters. Another ten or so dwarves dead. Some months go by and... Some goblin army wanted to parley. I told them to fuck off.

    They sieged with over FIFTY goblins cladded with iron and more. I told my army to group up and engage in force but they were too eager. They managed to get a good number of soldiers ready and marched.

    We lost a lot. We started with 201 dwarves when I took over and ended up around 161 when I left. Forty dwarves lost to animals. I reorganized the army to only wear steel and disarmed the crossbows from the squad to allow them to pick up melee.

    There was also a incursion by a Forgotten Beast but it was slayed by a Miner. Kivish was reborn so my people said so I made a statue of said Miner picking the beast apart with ease.

    A direct hole to magma was built and I ordered the throwing of every. single. piece. of. clothing. Most of it was taken from previous raids after all. My aides said it was up to like five thousand items.

    The year is 111. Jack the Radical Dwarf will have a lot on his hands to help uplift the mood of our people. I wish him the best of lucks..

    Pics in no particular order:

    DROWN


    Yesssss


    DOomed indeed


    Oddly named guild for doctors, Dr. Strangelove


    Worst army ever.
    [marquee][/marquee]

  11. #31
    Lachesis VII's Avatar
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    Helgur has used his AI minions to illustrate some of our forgotten beasts.

    Gogol:






    Otu (who I think is still resident in our lower caverns):




  12. #32
    Lowa [NSN]'s Avatar
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    ok, which AI are you using. I tried creating some stuff in a couple but quite honestly it all was quite shite.

    Also, Dwarfnerds.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tarminic View Post
    I would create a dragon made out of vaginas. Then I would create a dragon made out of dicks. Then I would have them fight to the death.

  13. #33
    Jack Coutu's Avatar
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    Will hopefully be taking over tomorrow, the fort likely needs a ton of work, and real life has been exhaustive.

  14. #34
    Lachesis VII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lowa [NSN] View Post
    ok, which AI are you using. I tried creating some stuff in a couple but quite honestly it all was quite shite.

    Also, Dwarfnerds.
    I think Helgur is using a custom tuned stable diffusion system.

  15. #35
    NoirAvlaa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lachesis VII View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lowa [NSN] View Post
    ok, which AI are you using. I tried creating some stuff in a couple but quite honestly it all was quite shite.

    Also, Dwarfnerds.
    I think Helgur is using a custom tuned stable diffusion system.
    yeh it takes the pressure out of the flow so we can make obsidian ezpz
    Quote Originally Posted by Djan Seriy Anaplian View Post
    Also that didn't sound like abloo bloo to me, PM me and we can agree on a meeting spot and settle this with queensberry rules, that's a serious offer btw. I've been a member of this community since 2005 and i've never met a more toxic individual.

  16. #36
    Lowa [NSN]'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoirAvlaa View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lachesis VII View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Lowa [NSN] View Post
    ok, which AI are you using. I tried creating some stuff in a couple but quite honestly it all was quite shite.

    Also, Dwarfnerds.
    I think Helgur is using a custom tuned stable diffusion system.
    yeh it takes the pressure out of the flow so we can make obsidian ezpz
    Yeah, that diffusion flow is what makes it all work. Good show lads.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tarminic View Post
    I would create a dragon made out of vaginas. Then I would create a dragon made out of dicks. Then I would have them fight to the death.

  17. #37
    Donor Spaztick's Avatar
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    high quality thread, an endangered species these days

  18. #38
    Super Maderator DonorGlobal Moderator Hels's Avatar
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    Year 111

    Alright no RP this time, just a stream of thought.

    Anyway, took over the fort for the weekend since Jack is apparently 'too tired' to play what accounts to an idle game.

    I was greeted with a whopping 20 FPS and frankly a total fucking mess of a fort. Lobby had done most of the hard work in settting up a massive list of dump and burn orders that throughout the year would eventually recover a whopping 25% of my FPS, along with a mass butcher order for everything that wasn't useful immediately to the fort. So namely, everything but alpacas and puppies. Fight me.

    So after my initial glance over and dismay at the sheer mess everything was, we got a couple of these:





    So naturally, I went into the burrow section to get everyone secured inside so we could just utilize the grinder and everything would be fine.
    It wasn't fine. As there had been exactly 0 burrows setup that were of any use to anyone, instead lining the corridor, the cavern tavern and the walls. Very cool, very useful. So after designating the living areas I assigned everyone inside and to my dismay watched for the next two weeks while dwarfs continued to run outside to grab things, and this one mad lass



    Decided to take her sweet fucking time getting inside. I eventually lost my patience, checked her file, saw she was frankly expendable, and clicked the NO on the parley. Surprisingly, that motivated her to make it inside.

    But not the human... something or other that decided to warm up the grinder. Oh well.



    Success boys.



    With that small distraction handled I started searching the depths for what candy I could find. My search was fruitless so finding a spire looking construct with a bunch of diamonds sticking out, I started digging. Eventually spawning this bastard who promptly ate three expendable miners.



    Well shit. I mass ordered the military to get on it, expecting a bit of a blood bath, and well...



    Nevermind, also, water



    We kept probing at the depths, winding around hot and wet stones, before striking paydirt baby.



















    Very cool, and no more angels. I went looking for the Baron to give them the new bling, and turns out, we somehow don't have one, very cool. So I gave it all to the mayor because why the fuck not.

    Also, shit



    Ok nevermind, good boy war doggo.



    Oh goddammit what now?



    Alright, second time these fuckers have shown up at the SE corner, so, taking a page out of The Vietnam War, a picture book for children, we began digging, while they waited for my answer.





    Get surprised, idiots.



    I set about fortifying the position with a wooden bunker for even better surprises next time, however, something grabbed my attention.



    Well that's not good.



    Apparently all of that puke is from the hammerer, who, in a stroke of managerial perfection, is a massive pussy and lost his lunch over a single hit to the stomach.

    With that all kinda cleaned up and a minor tantrum spiral beginning, I was wondering if this would be the end of the fort. Luckily, the caravan arrived. Still wanting some of my FPS back, I marked just about everything that was trash and lying around to go to the depot.





    Blaze it.

    Unfortunately, they couldn't carry nearly enough, so I just overloaded them with the gem bins to make the fort export value as high as I could. Because why not. Besides, we had mined a ton of diamonds by this point. So lets go.



    Oh goddammit.

    I saw the creature for a single frame before the disappeared again. Suspecting some vile tactic, like, hiding, I sent a squad to search the forest. They came up empty handed, so, I expected they would show themselves in due time, or just left the map, seeing how fucked we were already and their OCD overloading their brains.

    Meanwhile, moods had slowly begun turning sour, and they weren't helped by the 15 or so raids I embarked on over the fall season. As things were starting to hit the fan, I started making some drastic changes. First, I gathered all the disgruntled fuckers into their own squad. If they weren't happy here, I'd send them off to conquer somewhere else where they wouldn't be my problem anymore.



    And it worked.





    So seeing this rousing success, I started sending a few more disgruntled, useless fucks over to bring our average happiness up just a few more notches.



    Don't like it here? Fucking leave.

    Anyway, all told we killed 3 forgotten beasts, two goblin raids, razed a goblin camp, conquered another, and secured annual tribute from another. Banned a poet because fuck them, and all in all, for the price of maybe 14 dorfs? Not the worst showing. Also, FPS went from 20 to 27. So, Lobby did something right for once, and I secured the meat stockpile for the next 5 years or so. You're fucking welcome.

  19. #39
    Lachesis VII's Avatar
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    I applaud the conscription efforts.

    But you do know you can just send troublemakers away with the dispatch-to-holding feature right?

  20. #40
    NoirAvlaa's Avatar
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    So fort has a good run, and I don't think we're going to lose it unless someone opens the circus, so how do people feel about retiring and starting a new fort on same world?
    Quote Originally Posted by Djan Seriy Anaplian View Post
    Also that didn't sound like abloo bloo to me, PM me and we can agree on a meeting spot and settle this with queensberry rules, that's a serious offer btw. I've been a member of this community since 2005 and i've never met a more toxic individual.

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