Meet the next President of the United States

[Nordstern]

First question: "Would you define yourself as a 'born again' or evangelical Christian?"

5% apparently read that question and were like "Oh wait, what type of Christian am I...?"



L O L

(sadly, Democrats were more uncertain than the rest)

Gee, I wonder why. Maybe because it's a bad question? "Born again" has several connotations. Both liberals and conservatives can consider themselves born-again without being overly religious, when considering John 3. A more apt description of what the pollster is looking for might be "bible-thumper", but that's a very derrogatory term, and one guaranteed to get backlash.

Technically, I'm an evangelical Christian (being in the ELCA), but I don't go around knocking on people's doors in a white shirt and tie, asking "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?" I also am opposed to the gay marriage ban amendment that will go to the voters in November.

Poll is mostly dumb (especially the terrorism question) and should be disregarded.

[lubica]

semi-relevant, or not, I usually don't even watch these ads, but something made me click play this time and it made me lol:

[Don Rumata]

I actually thought the fantasy image of women deciding the family structure and what men can and can't do was wonderfully feminist. Sadly detached from reality, but it would have been nice. Oh to live in a matriarchal society...

Give them a whip and put them in leather and I'm gonna need a tissue.

[ValorousBob]

semi-relevant, or not, I usually don't even watch these ads, but something made me click play this time and it made me lol:

That ads actually pretty funny, props to whoever's running against that guy.

[Chrien]

The terrorism question is bad.

[Nordstern]

Yeah, but after looking over those questions, some are actually pretty good.

[Bartholomeus Crane]

Yeah, but after looking over those questions, some are actually pretty good.

Some of those questions were indeed pretty good. They also show how inconsistent the thinking often is when it comes to many issues. In particular wrt the foreign policy and military questions. So yes, in general, for having the biggest military in the world, but no, overall, on foreign entanglement, but also no on an extra tax on military wars. If you cross-reference those questions you get, on both sides, a general populace who want everything (big military, lots of (military) influence), but don't want to pay for it, and none of the consequences.

(Also, apparently a lot of US citizens believe the US has a defence pact with Israel but not with Turkey (through NATO). Well done, Jewish Lobby ...)

[Aurora148]

From the Texas GOP platform document:

Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

Boomers are going to be dying off soon and they wouldn't want those pesky young folks to question their dogma and vote for the Democrats.

http://convention.texasgop.org/

Here are some other golden examples:

"Controversial Theories – We support objective teaching and equal treatment of all sides of scientific theories. We believe theories such as life origins and environmental change should be taught as challengeable scientific theories subject to change as new data is produced."

"American Identity Patriotism and Loyalty – We believe the current teaching of a multicultural curriculum is divisive. We favor strengthening our common American identity and loyalty instead of political correctness that nurtures alienation among racial and ethnic groups."

"We oppose the Census Bureau’s obtaining data beyond the number of people residing in a dwelling"

"Protection from Extreme Environmentalists - We strongly oppose those efforts that attempt to use environmental causes to purposefully disrupt and stop those interests within the oil and gas industry. We strongly support the immediate repeal of the Endangered Species Act. We believe the Environmental Protection Agency should be abolished."

"Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) - We oppose this act through which the federal government would coerce religious business owners and employees to violate their own beliefs and principles by affirming what they consider to be sinful and sexually immoral behavior."

"We urge Congress to withhold Supreme Court jurisdiction in cases involving abortion, religious freedom, and the Bill of Rights."

"Welfare - We oppose calling welfare and other income and product redistribution schemes “rights” or “entitlements”. We know that fundamental human rights are inherent to individuals and are granted by God and are protected by the Declaration of Independence and U.S. Constitution. They are not products of others labor."

"We oppose the monitoring of gun ownership, and the taxation and regulation of guns and ammunition."

"We pledge our influence toward a return to the original intent of the First Amendment and toward dispelling the myth of separation of church and state."

I genuinely thought this was a parody/onion type thing, but no.

[Don Rumata]

I for one is glad that US military is getting valuable experience in fighting religious fundamentalists in rural, desert environment. I think it will come very handy during the next decade.

[punkboy101]

Hahahaohwow.jpg

Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

Why the hell would you want to oppose the teaching of critical thinking skills? They should be teaching more of this than they are currently, it's extremely important. If "fixed beliefs" (whatever that is) where so fixed, then critical thinking shouldn't cause any issues. Also lol at undermining parental authority. Older children/teens will do this regardless, it's a healthy part of growing up, nothing you can do to stop it.

"Controversial Theories – We support objective teaching and equal treatment of all sides of scientific theories. We believe theories such as life origins and environmental change should be taught as challengeable scientific theories subject to change as new data is produced."

I assume by "controversial theories" they mean "evolution" for the most part. So they want to be able to challenge both the theory of evolution and global warming as "view points" despite the metric fuckton of scientific research and data backing it up whilst teaching "creationism" and "we lived with dinosaurs" as alternatives despite having no credible evidence. I have no problem with teaching the theory of creationism, but to suggest it should be taught along side real evidence backed theories makes my brain hurt.

American Identity Patriotism and Loyalty

What is "American Identity". It sounds like all that retarded "un-American" speak. If you are born in the US, you're an American despite your belief's, lifestyle, background, or viewpoints. Un-American is something else I cringe at everytime I hear it.

"Protection from Extreme Environmentalists - We strongly oppose those efforts that attempt to use environmental causes to purposefully disrupt and stop those interests within the oil and gas industry. We strongly support the immediate repeal of the Endangered Species Act. We believe the Environmental Protection Agency should be abolished."

That is all

"Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) - We oppose this act through which the federal government would coerce religious business owners and employees to violate their own beliefs and principles by affirming what they consider to be sinful and sexually immoral behavior."

But we're totally cool with trying to force people to live by our moral code.

and toward dispelling the myth of separation of church and state

"the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."

There is no "myth" regarding the separation of Church and state. Although it is not explicitly written, it is clear from historical evidence (letter's, documents, ect) left by the founding fathers that they never intended the US to be a "Christian" (or any other religion) nation. The fact that many people immigrated to the US to escape religious persecution seems completely lost on these morons.



I'm not sure how people read this and think "fuck yeah these are the people I want running the country".

[AmaNutin]

From the Texas GOP platform document:

Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

Boomers are going to be dying off soon and they wouldn't want those pesky young folks to question their dogma and vote for the Democrats.

http://convention.texasgop.org/

I genuinely thought this was a parody/onion type thing, but no.

That's not a surprise. There are some facts/statistics that even back in 1996, in Carl Sagan's "The Demon-Haunted World" which led me to seriously consider a solid timeline on getting on to emigration to a Scandinavian nation.

(and he did list his sources in the back of the book, as well as an index)

[Frug]

Why the hell would you want to oppose the teaching of critical thinking skills?

I thought this was obvious.

[Tyrus Tenebros]

Holy fuck that's terrifying

[Rudolf Miller]

Sex Education – We recognize parental responsibility and authority regarding sex education. We believe that parents must be given an opportunity to review the material prior to giving their consent. We oppose any sex education other than abstinence until marriage.

Coming from the state with the third highest teen pregnancy rate in the USA. Good job guys.

[lt]

This is why the rest of the world goes :republicans:.

:TpTlk:

[Tyrus Tenebros]

This is why the rest of the world goes :republicans:.

:TpTlk:

And americans with brains. Not that the professional politicians in the democratic party are that much better, but the GOP is the bigger problem by a substantial margin

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Chill out guys, this ain't no thing. There's literally nothing in these platform briefs that mean anything and they aren't voted on by the particular state parties nor do they implicate their legislative intentions. Every state party's platform briefs are full of crazy ass shit because they don't edit them to exclude anything but the most crazy stuff.

If there were a few people on some state party committee somewhere who thought we need to build a giant space laser to defend ourselves from blorgans, it would get added.

Now if you want to argue that these platform briefs should entail legislative goals, then you don't know a thing about plans and politics.

[Frug]

Chill out guys, this ain't no thing. There's literally nothing in these platform briefs that mean anything and they aren't voted on by the particular state parties nor do they implicate their legislative intentions. Every state party's platform briefs are full of crazy ass shit because they don't edit them to exclude anything but the most crazy stuff.

If there were a few people on some state party committee somewhere who thought we need to build a giant space laser to defend ourselves from blorgans, it would get added.

Now if you want to argue that these platform briefs should entail legislative goals, then you don't know a thing about plans and politics.

Hi I'm FMAR and I'm a gay nazi who supports the GOP.

[Frug]

Chill out guys, this ain't no thing. There's literally nothing in these platform briefs that mean anything and they aren't voted on by the particular state parties nor do they implicate their legislative intentions. Every state party's platform briefs are full of crazy ass shit because they don't edit them to exclude anything but the most crazy stuff.

If there were a few people on some state party committee somewhere who thought we need to build a giant space laser to defend ourselves from blorgans, it would get added.

Now if you want to argue that these platform briefs should entail legislative goals, then you don't know a thing about plans and politics.

Hi I'm FMAR and I'm a gay nazi who supports the GOP.

[Fortior]

I can't wait to see the presidential debates later on. Going to be massive entertainment to see Romney actually take a stand on something.

Also, snipe post #5000 in a thread of 99% shitpoasts.