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Thread: CK2 MP Game Thread: Vikings do not Sow

  1. #81
    Bentguru's Avatar
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    RIP af Alfheim, having annoyed the shit out of his King he lost his main holdings in Germany, failed his invasion of West Francia, and then slowly died out.

  2. #82
    Joe Appleby's Avatar
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    The patricians kept to themselves for the most time with only light raiding showing the world that the the House Stafr exists.

    The first issue was a sudden war with the neighboring Khanate embargoing one of my trade posts. Since the Republic didn't have the money to hire enough mercs the Doge surrendered with no real losses worth crying over.

    It all went well, the Doge had picked a nice heir and already had his sights on his son as the follow up heir. The heir died in the war, his son was killed by an illness. So much for that plan.

    The new Doge picked out a decent heir with pretty decent skills. Off his soldiers went to raid along the Bosphorus. While evading an Orthodox army the doge died, the resulting messages made the new doge miss ordering a march thus getting his forces trapped. He was Doge for a week when Orthodox forces slew him on the battlefield.

    Since he ruled a Serene Republic his eventual heir did not inherit the position of Doge and he ended losing the Doge title and the capital. The new patrician was a newborn baby.

    16 years the newborn had grown into a young man. Grasping for glory he decided to abuse the weakness of the dissolved Svijbold Kingdom and make Sudermanland his tributary. The Doge of Norderrikikikikikikikikikikikikikik intervened however by pointing out that the province was already paying tribute to him. The two Viking traders agreed not to fight and but instead force a white peace. In return the Doge of Norderrikikikikiki would not intervene in our patrician's war against Austergautland for Tribute, which happened shortly thereafter.

    All went well for a while, a few short raids towards the Black Sea happened with no big results when suddenly the Ashina Khanate declared war on the Serene Republic in order to subjugate us. The war was a dragged out affair but ended as one would expect: with the surrender of the Republic. Now part of the Empire-tier Khanate, the Republic continued to exist.

    THe Partician put up a runestone to honor himself and decided to leave the world. It was rumored that he was depressed, yet at the same time sickness befell him and diarrhea caused great discomfort in his last days.

    The heir, carefully picked among the male family members, was a good man with great skill in many fields. He died less than a week after taking the helm of the family, poisoned by unknown forces.

    The heir was an unimposing man, facing a future that promises a lot of options.

    Only time will tell.
    nevar forget

  3. #83
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    Hrafn Dynasty 927 - 970:

    As the Shia hordes crossed the border King Bjorn called his own personal banners and requested the aid of the catholic holy orders. A massive army, nearly 30,000 men, assembled and met the bulk of the Shia forces outside the tribal holding of Dax. The Shia army, completely unprepared for the might of Hrafnheim, was slaughtered to a man.



    The battle was followed by a brutal puntative campaign, as the mighty catholic army pillaged and burned their way across Andalusia. Small Shia armies would periodically appear (one catching minor forces of Sicily which responded to the call to arms) but were switfly crushed. After 3 years, the Shia finally surrendered, handing over large amounts of gold for war reparations. King Bjorn was, through his deeds and character, given the name 'the Hammer' at the wars conclusion. He then immediately declared a holy war on the Sadaddin Sultanate for Aragon, easily brushing aside their weakened armies and taking the duchy after 1 year of fighting.

    Bjorn focused on consolidating his position for the next 3 years, taking back the title of Jarl of vestlandet from a vassal, and attacked West Francia for Armagnac. Like the Shia, the Frankish could not beat the Hrafn forces, and Armagnac was annexed, allowing the creation of the Jarldom of Gascogne. In 938 the Sadaddin Sultan launched yet another holy war, this time for Aragon, only to be crushed in the battle of Lleida in 939



    Smaller battles and raids would last for another 2 years before the Sadaddins admitted defeat again in 941. King Bjorn responded with another Holy War on the Sadaddins, this time seizing the Emirate of Valencia after 2 years of fighting. The Sadaddins would make one more attempt in 944, declaring a holy war for Valencia, but after being promptly beaten back their empire collapsed. A rival branch of the Sadaddin family revolted to press their claim on Andalusia while numerous smaller provinces raised their own flags in rebellion as well. The great Shia Sultanate, stressed past the breaking point by a series of brutal losses splintered into smaller successor states.

    King Bjorn would live out the rest of his days in relative peace, allowing the countryside to recover nearly 2 decades of constant war. Massive amounts of gold, either looted or gained via war reparations, were spent improving and building new holdings. King Bjorn died in 949, incapable and infirm, mercy killed by one of his daughters. His cancer-ridden son, King Bjorn II, would rule for 2 years before he was killed by a snake in his bed (totally not suspicious).

    The throne then went to Bjorn II's half brother Gudfrid, who would rule quietly for the next 8 years, somewhat unfairly earning him the moniker 'the weak' (he was frail so eh). In 960 a short war was fought against the Caliph Jyad, one of the small successor states on Andalusia, and the duchy of Navarra was conquered. However, not much else of note occurred under Gudfrid, who was... a little... off.



    Gudfrid would die in Nov 969, after tripping and hitting his head on a table. King Bjorn III would then rise to the throne, an exceptionally capable ruler (diligent, shrewd, ambitious, wrothful, and a brilliant strategist) only SLIGHTLY hampered by the fact that he is a chaste homosexual.

    The vassals are not fans:



    So some people are gonna have to go to jail.
    Last edited by Bentguru; July 17 2017 at 12:17:01 AM.

  4. #84
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    House Af Vendel:

    Stole a trade post when another patrician died 2 seconds into the re-host (why? they're supposed to go to teh doge, but okay).

    Killed the Doge, took over, started raiding, converted that same fucking guy who's been the wrong religion for YEARS to germanic finally, got his heir too. Op success (for now).

    Took Uppland by force, tributaried one of the OPMs next to me, couldnt be fucked to do both, had to discourage Joe when he tried to tributary it too, succeded.

    Kicked down several rebellions, ended half of the other patrician families' lines, took most of the land from the only real threat left (the other one is just high dynastic prestige with no holdings, so i'll kill him off without too much trouble when he stops being 20+ diplo).

    Helped save the most glorious Germanic kingdom in constantinople, got mad at all the other false vikings unable to do so with their actual levies (seriously guys, get yo' act together already).

    Murdered Hopper (twice) while he tried to win a prepared invasion to get back land he lost BOOM SALTY HEADSHOT, first player out of the game, op success.

    Died, stopped being doge. Floated around and plotted, patrician mansion is getting there, but not fully there yet, and still no permanent dogehood. Wont be long now though. I'm now two provinces from the kingdom of svipjod, and one prepared invasion from another kingdom and forming an empire. Life is okay, but still well behind the curve of where i wanted to be, and joe is the vassal of a khagan, which will make him hard to subjugate once i'm an emperor. Oh well.

  5. #85
    Super Moderator Global Moderator QuackBot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nobody_Holme View Post
    House Af Vendel:

    Stole a trade post when another patrician died 2 seconds into the re-host (why? they're supposed to go to teh doge, but okay).

    Killed the Doge, took over, started raiding, converted that same fucking guy who's been the wrong religion for YEARS to germanic finally, got his heir too. Op success (for now).

    Took Uppland by force, tributaried one of the OPMs next to me, couldnt be fucked to do both, had to discourage Joe when he tried to tributary it too, succeded.

    Kicked down several rebellions, ended half of the other patrician families' lines, took most of the land from the only real threat left (the other one is just high dynastic prestige with no holdings, so i'll kill him off without too much trouble when he stops being 20+ diplo).

    Helped save the most glorious Germanic kingdom in constantinople, got mad at all the other false vikings unable to do so with their actual levies (seriously guys, get yo' act together already).

    Murdered Hopper (twice) while he tried to win a prepared invasion to get back land he lost BOOM SALTY HEADSHOT, first player out of the game, op success.

    Died, stopped being doge. Floated around and plotted, patrician mansion is getting there, but not fully there yet, and still no permanent dogehood. Wont be long now though. I'm now two provinces from the kingdom of svipjod, and one prepared invasion from another kingdom and forming an empire. Life is okay, but still well behind the curve of where i wanted to be, and joe is the vassal of a khagan, which will make him hard to subjugate once i'm an emperor. Oh well.
    But they're wrong.

  6. #86
    Bentguru's Avatar
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    Bjorn III would like to extend an invitation to the northern merchant princes to swear vassalage and take over administration of Navarra and the northern Andalusian coast. We promise you stability and unfettered access to a lucrative market. We will also tolerate your pagan faith. But you must be attractive and down with butt stuff.

  7. #87
    Approaching Walrus's Avatar
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    Germanic moral authority is in the shitter thanks to the clusterfuck going on up north so if steps aren't taken to correct it I'm either going to fix it myself or convert to something else because I can't convert any provinces right now.

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Approaching Walrus View Post
    Germanic moral authority is in the shitter thanks to the clusterfuck going on up north so if steps aren't taken to correct it I'm either going to fix it myself or convert to something else because I can't convert any provinces right now.
    Rebuild orthodoxy imo

  9. #89
    Approaching Walrus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bentguru View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Approaching Walrus View Post
    Germanic moral authority is in the shitter thanks to the clusterfuck going on up north so if steps aren't taken to correct it I'm either going to fix it myself or convert to something else because I can't convert any provinces right now.
    Rebuild orthodoxy imo
    religious flip flopping intensifies

    shia sounding really good though assassins op http://www.ckiiwiki.com/Societies#The_Assassins

  10. #90
    LobbyZ's Avatar
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    AAR:

    Well where to start, I was a french vassal for a time just biding my time as the French and English revoltees duked it out untill I had enough and joined the war on the french side, this meaning that France now held the English title but little did they know I planned to take it over. I started a faction to install me as the King of England and waited untill France was surrounded by 4-5 wars losing quite badly and he accepted it. So I became the King of England after spending many years as a Duke.

    My first years was rocky at best, my queen was over 60 years old and didn't produce a single child for me so I tried to divorce her, no luck. I tried to imprison her, no luck. She then died of mysterious ways thanks to a shadowy figure allowing me to marry a hot 18 yearold teen from Italy, i was over 55 at the time. I managed to produce an hair and make the Kingdom succession law to Seniority allowing me to continue the rule of England.

    But then, the black death cometh. It swept over Europe and other places fast and unrelenting, it killed so many yet allowed people to take advantage of it. A germanic reformed pagan now holds Rome. Interesting times ahead.

    Long live King Wulfgar.

    Also;

    - 981 -
    On 5 June, 981 word reached us that India has been widely Depopulated by the dreaded Plague.
    - 982 -
    Ęthelweald av Nordland usurped the Kingdom of England from Gaucelin Karling.
    - 983 -
    King Ęthelweald of England supported King Gaucelin of West Francia in war against his enemies.
    On 5 August, 983 word reached us that southern Europe has been widely Depopulated by the dreaded Plague.
    Eormenric of Eormenric's Host lost the war against King Ęthelweald of England.
    On 11 December, 983 the Plague arrived at our borders. May God protect us.
    - 1006 -
    A dragon was seen in the county of Gwent.
    - 1007 -
    A ten feet tall woman was crucified in the county of Amounderness.
    [marquee][/marquee]

  11. #91
    Movember 2012 Elriche Oshego's Avatar
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    You weak fools, you've ruined my plans for the Danelaw.

  12. #92
    Approaching Walrus's Avatar
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    House GUTE 970-1013

    The mighty SORKVER GUTE, 'THE MAGNANIMOUS', immediately set about assassinating malcontent vassals who were leading troubling factions, easily ending those burgeoning threats. While those plots brewed, SORKVER GUTE led Sicily into holy war against the Berbers of Mauretania, taking the duchy of Kabyla from the incompetent Berber rulers. This extra living space would go a long way towards securing the future of the Nordic people.

    SORKVER had long known of the weakness of the Germanic faith, based in the old pagan lands where petty lords squabbled over a meagre turnip harvest. Although one of his ancestors had organized the Pagans into a proper faith, leading those pathetic fools was impossible and the religion remained without a head to this day.

    SORKVER listened to the whispers of a local berber woman captured during the sieges and taken as his concubine, and she taught him of the Shia faith. In secret, SORKVER GUTE converted to the Shia religion and founded a secret society dubbed the Party of Ali.

    With the aid of his loyal servants in the PARTY OF ALI, SORKVER set out to establish secret Shia communities amongst his subjects that would be revealed at the right time. He also led several successful conquests against the dying BYZANTINE EMPIRE, conquering the duchies of Thrace, Thessalonika, and Adrianopolis from the comical weakling greeks. The old Roman empire was in its death throes, in many ways similar to the Germanic rulers- too busy fighting over scraps instead of uniting.

    When the CRAVEN POPE declared a crusade for Greece against SORKVER, not a single germanic ruler came to the aid of their Norse brethren. Although he was secretly Shia, Sorkver quickly raised the Jomsvikings and sailed for Rome with his bodyguard, putting that city to the sword and forcing the Pope to surrender; the county was immediately conquered therafter and the CRAVEN POPE was sent into exile, to the woe of all Christians in Europe.

    Having confirmed the weakness of the Germanic rulers, SORKVER revealed his true Shia religion and overthrew the local religious authorities in all of the important provinces in his kingdom. The crescent banners flew over Rome and Miklagard, as the churches were turned into mosques. A huge revolt of Germanic fools followed and was quickly crushed, their titles revoked and their families cast into the cold winter seas.

    SORKVER suffered a mysterious carriage accident shortly after, joining the Mujahadeen in Paradise on 1005 of the catholic calendar. He is succeeded by his son VALDEMAR, a competent administrator but mediocre commander who faces a troubled reign as he suffers from multiple disabilities. VALDEMAR will have to ensure religious conformity in his realm, but he is aided by the ASSASSINS, a secretive order of Shia warriors whose name is feared by all and spoken of only in whispers; time will tell if the ways of the ASSASSINS will bring greatness to HOUSE GUTE.
    Last edited by Approaching Walrus; July 24 2017 at 02:05:16 AM.

  13. #93
    Nobody_Holme's Avatar
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    Things were going well.

    Then I got hit with a host that could beat my retinue plus 5k of mercs and everything went to shit. I lost over 2000 ducats and three of my key trade posts, and will almost certainly die before my son comes of age, leaving me as a child with no heirs and only two demesne provinces combined with a broken trade network (the host also moved my capital to a different province that I dont have control over). I also cant find any way short of getting an empire title that includes halsingland and then using de jure on Joe to get us into the same republic. In good news, we'll suddenly be in a new republic with 10 houses for a while.

    In BAD news, secret cults now active in scandinavia: Catholic. Orthodox. Harafi. Germanic. Old Germanic (dont know why that one is there). Waldensian. Suomensk (How did that manage to happen?).

    But I have a plan. And I can even pull off a nice little conversion back to germanic on all my provinces if I hold to the true faith, which will take most of my people with it. AND I can burn Harafi, Old German, and Waldensians at the stake because they're heresies of their relevant primary religion. Its pretty noice.

  14. #94
    Joe Appleby's Avatar
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    First off: I won't be there next Sunday.

    The game started slow for me, as I had a single plan: survive.
    Raid for money but apart from that keep out of everybody's shit.

    My duchy republic was a vassal republic under a serene (kingdom) republic. My serene doge decided to rebel against the Khan for whatever reason. I joined the rebellion and as a result of the successful rebellion I was given the option of independence. I took it and again, I was independent. Only a duchy level republic, but money was coming in and life was good.

    This went well until I decided that I really want my quick son to inherit. I had him set as an heir and realized, wait, he'll never be doge. Alright, place the 40-something uncle on the throne and just wait until my son becomes of age two years later. The next two years were without events and the realm was peaceful and prospered. Our favorite hunting grounds, the Byzantine Empire, was a plentiful as always. Two years later, just as the son became of age, my character died. Succession placed the uncle in position before I could click on the son's portrait (it was that close). Cue some slight rage and me trying to get the money together to secure the doge position. This being in place, I had to find a way to kill off the uncle. Thankfully he had high martial score and was just begging to raid.

    Off you go! Deliberately trying to get him caught. Luckily the work of a doge was too much and he became depressed so the suicide option appeared. Just as I clicked, some AI plot to kill him fired as well, making sure he really was dead.

    Now the son, the heir I wanted, was on the throne.
    nevar forget

  15. #95
    Approaching Walrus's Avatar
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    So the Assassins faction allows all members to join assassination plots sometimes. I'm not sure what allows it as it does not always seem to happen but when it does it's pretty much a guaranteed +300% plot power assassination.

    This is on top of the +30% bonus plot power you get just for being an assassin, as well as -30% plot power for plots against you, and the ability to kidnap. Plus you can trade cash for influence and get free stat boosts for smoking dat dank hash brah.

    Unfortunately only the grandmaster can raise the Assassin army, and there can only be one grandmaster; good thing I'm next in line.

    Anyways there's plenty of great spots in my burgeoning Assassin empire if anyone wants to join the good guys and fight the evil Knights Templar and traitor Varangians
    Last edited by Approaching Walrus; July 26 2017 at 10:39:08 PM.

  16. #96
    Nobody_Holme's Avatar
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    AAR:

    Death showed up and I didnt clock the event. I didnt win. Only child was a girl, so GAME OVER.

    RIP me.

    Respawned as DC's merchant republic, but I'm now just filling space.

  17. #97
    Bentguru's Avatar
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    Winner winner chicken dinner.

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