The hit and run was a guy from Swaziland in a pickup who hit me as I was crossing the main road of the little town I grew up in. The main road went from the main city 100+ miles south, to Mozambique and Swaziland up north. I had finished boy scouts (I was actually going for my last couple of badges necessary to qualify as a springbok scout (same as eagle scout, by my understanding). I was walking back home and this guy was travelling without lights. I only heard it and felt its presence and jumped in reaction, which probably saved my life, as the pickup took me below the knee on the right leg and and bounced me over the hood and onto and off the windscreen. If I hadn't have jumped I would have gone under, and I'm pretty luck to have bounced off, as opposed to going through the windscreen. Either of those would probably have killed me.
Tore my ACL and MCL in that, and spent 10 months in a special cast during my final year of high school, which sucked. I also had to quit scouts and I never got those final two badges, which also sucked. They never caught the guy, although his license plate is literally seared into my mind as I watched him drive away after hitting the road behind the vehicle. If I was a black guy, I wouldn't have stopped after hitting a white kid at night in South Africa in 1988 either.
Ouch, sucks. Heal up good. Going back to the judo after?
"Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered, those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid. Thus the wise win before they fight, while the ignorant fight to win." - Zhuge Liang
More importantly, did you scream like a girl, or did you pretend you were fine in a pointless display of machismo?
First answer: No judo until after Tough Mudder in July. Don't want a repeat episode ruining things again.
Second answer: I did cry out in pain, as tends to happen when your bones break. Was able to stagger off the mat.
Follow-up x-rays today. Bad news: The crack is now a full break, and the fibula and talus are now displaced. Plate and screws on Thursday. Past week has been a complete waste. And to make things worse, I did not elect to have short-term disability benefits, so I'm ging to burn through most of my PTO this month. At least the pain is manageable.
If I were a horse, I would probably have been put down.
Mates I have had it, my cousin and I are like brothers. We're nearly the same age and both come from families where our only siblings were sisters. I moved to Canada and crashed with him for a few months before we got our own place and he has been getting increasingly snotty about how I'm not meeting up with him.
My excuse for it is that I don't have any money (I don't) but he's arguing that we can just hang out in each others places so why worry about money.. well I'd rather not have him hanging out in our place because it's too small so my gf would feel put out (she doesn't like having people over) and his place is fucking ages away. Also from living with him things aren't as fun as they were when we hung out together in Ireland. He's gotten more.. confident/cocky which really pissed me off when we were subletting from him because he would occasionally give off this hot shit vibe while simultaneously fucking up stuff he thought he was so in charge of.
Like the first night we spent in the house share we had to hide in the bedroom from the landlord because he fucked off with his gf and flatmate (on purpose to avoid the landlord) which left us stuck there listening to the landlord bang on the door for like 10 minutes. He also lied about there being no smoking in the house. When I asked him months before we moved to Canada he said oh no there's no smoking in the house we smoke on the balcony but that was a complete lie, the place constantly stunk of grass and every evening when we would have liked to cook and eat dinner in the living room they would already be smoking joints in there.
I don't have a problem with smoking weed but not when you said you wouldn't and then doing it in a fucking common room. As well as that when we first moved in our toilet was broke and only got replaced a week or so after we moved in. The whole thing was a shit show and it was decidedly his fault as far as I'm concerned.
ANYWAY all of that is thankfully behind us now but I'm just not feeling hanging out with him partly because I am genuinely just not fucked but also because of how much tension I'm feeling with him after that living arrangement. I sent him something funny on facebook and his only response was a load of snotty shit about how we dont hang out and that he'll be gone for good in 5 months.
Honestly I can't fucking wait because I can count on one hand the amount of positive experiences I've had with him in Canada where as I'd need my hands and fucking feet to count the amount of things he has seriously pissed me off about
Holy shit, you can actually type long, coherent posts?
Also, my sympathy. Could be/My money is on that he's really pissed off because he actually likes & misses you though and feels neglected; disregarding his somewhat anti-social behaviour. Could well be you'll find common ground again further down the line. Ever talked with him openly about was is/was bothering you in your relationship?
I'd also wager a guess that his position on the living together thing would be "Man, lagman came here to live at my place and then he was so fucking anal about x and y". I actually share your view (fuck smoke/fucking COLD smoke wafting through the flat in particular, and I am a smoker myself), have/had similar situations with my flatmates (one of who is my older brother), but we've found really good common ground. Took three years and everyone adapting their ways a bit though ^^ (I still rage for five minutes every now and then, such as today over :dishwashing:. Just a part of life, and also part of my personality)
If you really are like brothers though, you should be able to sort this out.
Last edited by FatFreddy; February 14 2017 at 11:20:25 PM.
Originally Posted by QuackBot
If he really is like a brother, it should be possible to overcome things.
Also, from looking at older members of my extended family (we all are pretty big on this whole family thing): Friends come and go, family stays. Even if there are rough patches, there is no telling how integral a part of your support net he can be a couple of decades down the line. It's easy to have friends when you are reasonably young, later on it becomes harder.
I'd meet with him at least once, especially now that the pressure of you living with him is off. Obviously, it is possible for family in general and this guy in particular to be an utter shitcunt, in which case breaking off contact is warranted, but I'd not do it for what ultimately is a series of reasonably minor grievances.
Went through something similar and had a fall out with my best mate and the therapist had an Iinteresting input - people change. You can't expect the same person to hold on and/or acquire the same values as you do over the years.
You can try and find a middle ground - I've called him and tried to keep in touch but without any results. Or you can accept it's over and see how you can let go without too much drama.
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I'd give it one attempt at swallowing it and being the bigger man laggers. If he was just a mate I'd say slow fade on good terms, as it sounds like you arent compatible, but as he is a relative and hasnt done anything terrible I'd meet him in the pub mid way once every few months or something to keep him notionally sweet. If he acts like a prat thereafter back to the slowfade plan
He said he doesnt have any monies for things like going to the pub.