hate these ads?, log in or register to hide them
Page 1 of 5 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 89

Thread: Everyone wants to be Double 'D', now you can too.

  1. #1
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21

    Cool Everyone wants to be Double 'D', now you can too.

    Darkwing Deepspace Industries, LLHC (Limited Liability Hybrid Corporation), a well funded and expanding company in Eve is hiring and we're looking for you!!! We have openings in all departments, including mining, manufacturing, transportation services, shipyards, research & development, exploration, facility operations & maintenance as well as Fleet operations.

    Sweeping floors not your cup of tea? Being a moisture farmer a little boring? Are you looking for an exciting career outside the norm? We think you've found your place. Darkwing Deepspace Industries (The Double 'D') is looking for you. We're looking for candidates of all skill levels and trades. Deepspace Miner in Otakod? Perfect! Retired Fleet Commander from the Messoya system? Awesome! Catalyst pilot from NullSec? Even Better! Whatever your career path, whatever your skill set, whatever your calling, The Double 'D' can facilitate your ability to fulfill that dream.

    Tired of the way you've been ignored by your current Corp? Tired of everyone stealing your office supplies and constantly talking as if you're not there? Tired of the back office politics and the feeling that the CEO and his cronies are only using you as cannon fodder? Tired of being told that the only ship they'll give you is a 45 year old Comet with barely any functional armor and 1 hybrid turret and tell you to charge the Titan ahead? The Double 'D' values each and every Capsuleer who joins and we only equip with the best. New Capsuleers, old Capsuleers, it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome.

    So, bottom line. We are a new corporation built around one simple premise. Everyone has a place and a place for everyone. We are involved in every single aspect of EVE that you can imagine and we value good RP over anything else. We are seeking all Capsuleers who would like to join in a 'society' that is building an Empire.

    We offer our new employees access to our blueprint 'Library' to help up in getting going for themselves, as well as Faction Warfare for anyone who can seize the opportunity. We offer a 4M ISK signing bonus and a 400M Buddy Link program for new Capsuleers.

    If you're interested, if this sounds like the place for you, send in your application and it will be reviewed in less than 24 hours by one of our HR specialists. A second round of interviews will take place, normally over voice chat, and a final decision will be made. If a good fit is found, an offer will be tended.

    If you have further questions, please join the Double 'D' Processing channel.
    Last edited by Rayvenhaus; October 28 2015 at 04:28:42 PM.

  2. #2
    Donor halbarad's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 9, 2011
    Posts
    4,906
    We haven't had a proper first post in recruitment in a while. Good luck and prepare your anus.

  3. #3
    Lady Spank's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 12, 2011
    Location
    Get Out Nasty Face
    Posts
    4,996
    This sounds pretty neat but do you accept Down Syndrome sufferers? I have a hard time fitting in most corps.
      Spoiler:



    (ಠ_ృ) ゛Lady Spank is the best。゛ ~ Xenuria (ಠ_ృ)

  4. #4
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    Why halbarad? Do you plan on pleasuring me?

  5. #5
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    Honestly, Lady Spank, that would depend upon you and your app. We look at each application on a case by case basis.

  6. #6
    Daneel Trevize's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 10, 2011
    Location
    T L A
    Posts
    12,304
    Quote Originally Posted by Rayvenhaus View Post
    A wall of text from someone
    that
    can't
    read
    Can't even be arsed more than that.
    Quote Originally Posted by QuackBot View Post
    Idk about that, and i'm fucking stupid.

  7. #7
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    Too Long : Didn't Read Daneel

  8. #8
    Jayarr's Avatar
    Join Date
    September 20, 2012
    Location
    The Cue's Cavernous Arsehole
    Posts
    775
    Double D industries, It's like you are just asking for it

    Darkdong Deepdick Industries, LLHC (Limited Liability Hybrid Cuckshed), a well fucked and expanding cuckhive in Eve is prepping the bull and we're cumming for you!! We have openings in all orifices, including anus, mouth, ear, urethral sounding, tear duct, body cavity exploration, piercing & filanding as well as preping operations.

    Hetrosexual sex not your cup of tea? Consent a little boring? Are you looking for an exciting cucking outside the norm? We think you've found your place. Darkdong Deepdick Industries (The Double 'D') is looking for you. We're looking for candidates of all skin colours and STDS. Cambodian amputee with Crabs? Perfect! Magic Johnson Lookalike with AIDS to match? Awesome! Genital Mutilation quean from Sudan? Even Better! Whatever your sexual history, whatever your "skill" set, whatever your cucking, The Double 'D' can facilitate your abilityto fulfill that dream.

    Tired of the way you've been ignored by your wife? Tired of everyone stealing your orifice and constantly talking as if you're not there? Tired of the back orifice politics and the feeling that the CEO and his cronies are only using you as the worthless cumdumpster you are? Tired of being told that the only bull they'll give you is a 90 year old negress with barely functional limbs and 1 tit and tell you to charge the big black bull tyrone? The Double 'D' values each and every Cuckquean who joins and we only equip with the best. New cucks, old Cucks, it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome.

    So, bottom today. We are a new cocuckold conglomerate prepped around one simple premise. Everyone must be sucked off and sheath their meat sword in your boipussy. We are involved i every single aspect of BDSM that you can imagine and we value a nice tight hole over anything else. We are seeking all Cuckings who would like to join in a 'society' that is building an cuckbarn.

    We offer our new bitches access to our std 'Library' to help poz your neg holes as well as used condoms for anyone who can seize the opportunity to wring them out like lemons. We offer a deep dicking to those who join

    If you're interested, if this sound like the place for you, send in your nudes and it will be reviewed in less than 24 hours by one of our specialists. A second round of interviews will take place, normally while waterboarding, and a final decision will be made. If a good fit is found, an offer will be tendeied.

    If you have further questions, please join the Double 'D' Processing channel.
    very,very special thx to Jayarr Altol,i`m sure he`s nazy parents and he`s KKK Club friends are very proud of him
    If bad posts were supercaps, which alliance would have the most titans in the game?
    "TISHU deserves a mention. Jayarr alone would have a Revenant and a couple of titans."

  9. #9
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    You had my hopes up for a moment Jayarr. I was hoping that something worth reading was going to show up in your post. No such luck I'm afraid. At first, I was almost overwhelmed at your ability to swap words for other words of the same type and stick to one theme, then I saw your avatar an I realized why it is so easy for you to stumble into dick humor.

    You did help me catch a grammatical error so, over all, not a total waste of time.

  10. #10
    Super Baderator DonorGlobal Moderator cullnean's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 10, 2011
    Location
    The tower of power, too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!
    Posts
    16,388
    Quote Originally Posted by Rayvenhaus View Post
    You had my hopes up for a moment Jayarr. I was hoping that something worth reading was going to show up in your post. No such luck I'm afraid. At first, I was almost overwhelmed at your ability to swap words for other words of the same type and stick to one theme, then I saw your avatar an I realized why it is so easy for you to stumble into dick humor.

    You did help me catch a grammatical error so, over all, not a total waste of time.
    Fuck off
    Quote Originally Posted by Elriche Oshego View Post
    Cullneshi the god of shitposting.

  11. #11
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    Why, thank you cullnean, for your kind and eloquent words. I hope you didn't pop a vein in your head and have a stroke as you exhausted your creativeness dredging up those two words.

  12. #12
    Keckers's Avatar
    Join Date
    July 31, 2012
    Posts
    15,889
    Who?

    Why should we care, I spent 30 seconds trying to see who you are and all I could gather is you spend more time trying write a corp description than playing eve. I'd love to spend more time finding out who are you but I'd rather have type 2 diabetes. Quite frankly you look like a bog standard shitty eve corp who continue to kill the game by attracting noobs with you 'writing skills' and making them hate eve because your corp is the eve equivalent of the house wine at a suburban indian restaurant.

    If I ever want to join your terrible excuse for a corp you can invite after I give you the special signal. That signal is me being sectioned under the mental health act.
    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Mason
    It is absurd that we are capable of witnessing a 40,000 year old system of gender oppression begin to dissolve before our eyes yet still see the abolition of a 200 year old economic system as an unrealistic utopia.

  13. #13
    Larkonis Trassler's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 9, 2011
    Location
    FEARLESS.
    Posts
    11,503
    Quote Originally Posted by Rayvenhaus View Post
    Why, thank you cullnean, for your kind and eloquent words. I hope you didn't pop a vein in your head and have a stroke as you exhausted your creativeness dredging up those two words.
    You come here trying to recruit the elite of Eve. What has your corp achieved aside from electing a syphilitic mong as their mouthpiece?


  14. #14
    Super Baderator DonorGlobal Moderator cullnean's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 10, 2011
    Location
    The tower of power, too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!
    Posts
    16,388
    Quote Originally Posted by Rayvenhaus View Post
    Why, thank you cullnean, for your kind and eloquent words. I hope you didn't pop a vein in your head and have a stroke as you exhausted your creativeness dredging up those two words.
    Ha
    Quote Originally Posted by Elriche Oshego View Post
    Cullneshi the god of shitposting.

  15. #15
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    Dear, Mr. Keckers. After careful consideration of your application and your qualifications I regret to inform you that we can not offer you the position of Grand Poobah and Chief Bottle Washer. While we are certain that your work as a "super secret ninja spy" was exemplary, we find that those skills do not lend themselves well to the position you applied for. Also, we are uncertain why your applied for the position you listed on your application as we can find no listing on our website nor in our HR system for a "Grand Poobah and Chief Bottle Washer". With that in mind, one might try to better target his or her applications to actual job openings. Lastly, we are returning the 1000 ISK note you attached to the application with the note "For HR, Wink, Wink."

  16. #16
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    Two things actually, and thank you so much for asking Lark. I can call you Lark, right? Anyways, Lark, let me share:

    A) Creating a thread that's staying at the top of the topic since everyone seems t want to try show how moronic they are, but that's ok, we have lower level positions open.

    B) Causing a group of prepubescent myopic douche canoes to work themselves into a tizzy over a post. Thank you for playing and here's Dirk Steel with some parting gifts.

    Of the two, while I am proud of the first, I consider the second to be just downright wonderful.

    BTW, we were not looking for the Elite of Eve but thank you for sharing. Now that we know how to identify them, we can be on the look out in the future.

  17. #17
    Super Baderator DonorGlobal Moderator cullnean's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 10, 2011
    Location
    The tower of power, too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!
    Posts
    16,388
    A) Read the rules of the forum.
    B)?????
    D) Fuck off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elriche Oshego View Post
    Cullneshi the god of shitposting.

  18. #18
    Rayvenhaus's Avatar
    Join Date
    October 27, 2015
    Posts
    21
    Thank you for pointing out about reading the rules, cullnean, but, may I suggest, to really make it appropriate and helpful, that you include a link to said rules, thus making me feel that much more lost and retarded that I didn't know where they were at? Just a suggestion for better razzing and down talking.

    And, while I am sorry that you forgot what item B was on your list, might I also suggest that one try to express themselves in different ways that just copy and paste the same thing over and over as you are doing in item C? Perhaps you could have said any of the following:

    C) Piss off you wanker
    or
    C) Slob on my knob you tosser

    or any other number of clever retorts or comebacks.

  19. #19
    Super Baderator DonorGlobal Moderator cullnean's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 10, 2011
    Location
    The tower of power, too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!
    Posts
    16,388
    No.
    Quote Originally Posted by Elriche Oshego View Post
    Cullneshi the god of shitposting.

  20. #20
    Larkonis Trassler's Avatar
    Join Date
    April 9, 2011
    Location
    FEARLESS.
    Posts
    11,503
    Quote Originally Posted by Jayarr View Post
    Double D industries, It's like you are just asking for it

    Darkdong Deepdick Industries, LLHC (Limited Liability Hybrid Cuckshed), a well fucked and expanding cuckhive in Eve is prepping the bull and we're cumming for you!! We have openings in all orifices, including anus, mouth, ear, urethral sounding, tear duct, body cavity exploration, piercing & filanding as well as preping operations.

    Hetrosexual sex not your cup of tea? Consent a little boring? Are you looking for an exciting cucking outside the norm? We think you've found your place. Darkdong Deepdick Industries (The Double 'D') is looking for you. We're looking for candidates of all skin colours and STDS. Cambodian amputee with Crabs? Perfect! Magic Johnson Lookalike with AIDS to match? Awesome! Genital Mutilation quean from Sudan? Even Better! Whatever your sexual history, whatever your "skill" set, whatever your cucking, The Double 'D' can facilitate your abilityto fulfill that dream.

    Tired of the way you've been ignored by your wife? Tired of everyone stealing your orifice and constantly talking as if you're not there? Tired of the back orifice politics and the feeling that the CEO and his cronies are only using you as the worthless cumdumpster you are? Tired of being told that the only bull they'll give you is a 90 year old negress with barely functional limbs and 1 tit and tell you to charge the big black bull tyrone? The Double 'D' values each and every Cuckquean who joins and we only equip with the best. New cucks, old Cucks, it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome.

    So, bottom today. We are a new cocuckold conglomerate prepped around one simple premise. Everyone must be sucked off and sheath their meat sword in your boipussy. We are involved i every single aspect of BDSM that you can imagine and we value a nice tight hole over anything else. We are seeking all Cuckings who would like to join in a 'society' that is building an cuckbarn.

    We offer our new bitches access to our std 'Library' to help poz your neg holes as well as used condoms for anyone who can seize the opportunity to wring them out like lemons. We offer a deep dicking to those who join

    If you're interested, if this sound like the place for you, send in your nudes and it will be reviewed in less than 24 hours by one of our specialists. A second round of interviews will take place, normally while waterboarding, and a final decision will be made. If a good fit is found, an offer will be tendeied.

    If you have further questions, please join the Double 'D' Processing channel.



    Quote Originally Posted by Rayvenhaus View Post
    Double Dickcock Inthebutt, LLHC (Limited Licking Homo Cocks), a well fondled and exfoliating company in Eve is cucking and we're looking for you!!! We have openings in all departments, including mincing, felching, pozzing services, bumhoe reaming, research & development, expanding bumholes, farting operations & male incontinence as well as plain gay sex.

    A non degenerate lifestyle not your cup of tea? Being a female farmer a little boring? Are you looking for an exciting career outside the norm? We think you've found your place. Double Dickcock Inthebutt (The Double 'D') is looking for you. We're looking for candidates of all skill levels and trades. Despicable Mincer in Otakod? Perfect! Retarded Felching Cumguzler from the Messoya system? Awesome! Cuckold penis worshipper from NullSec? Even Better! Whatever your career path, whatever your skill set, whatever your calling, The Double 'D' can facilitate your ability to fulfill that wet dream.

    Tired of the way you've been ignored by your current Corp? Tired of everyone stealing your office supplies and constantly talking as if you're not there? Tired of the back office politics and the feeling that the CEO and his cronies are only using you as cannon fodder? Tired of being told that the only ship they'll give you is a 45 year old Comet with barely any functional armor and 1 hybrid turret and tell you to charge the Titan ahead? The Double 'D' values each and every Capsuleer who joins and we only equip with the best. New Capsuleers, old Capsuleers, it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome.

    So, bottom line. We are a new corporation built around one simple premise. Everyone has a place and a place for everyone. We are involved in every single aspect of EVE that you can imagine and we value good RP over anything else. We are seeking all Capsuleers who would like to join in a 'society' that is building an Empire.

    We offer our new employees access to our blueprint 'Library' to help up in getting going for themselves, as well as Faction Warfare for anyone who can seize the opportunity. We offer a 4M ISK signing bonus and a 400M Buddy Link program for new Capsuleers.

    If you're interested, if this sounds like the place for you, send in your application and it will be reviewed in less than 24 hours by one of our HR specialists. A second round of interviews will take place, normally over voice chat, and a final decision will be made. If a good fit is found, an offer will be tended.

    If you have further questions, please join the Double 'D' Processing channel.
    I got bored...


Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •