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Thread: Movie Thread - Cullnerd - Ad Astra is moon

  1. #10821

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    Freddie Mercury vs James Bond, tonight on MTV Deathmatch!

  2. #10822
    Dorvil Barranis's Avatar
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    Maybe you just haven't met enough of them.

      Spoiler:
    Just kidding, bagging on the French is an old British pastime, probably due to their history of war. The US version took an odd twist before the Iraq invasion, with Freedom Fries, and restaurateurs pouring wine down the sink.
    "Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered, those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid. Thus the wise win before they fight, while the ignorant fight to win." - Zhuge Liang


  3. #10823
    Duckslayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dorvil Barranis View Post
    Maybe you just haven't met enough of them.

      Spoiler:
    Just kidding, bagging on the French is an old British pastime, probably due to their history of war. The US version took an odd twist before the Iraq invasion, with Freedom Fries, and restaurateurs pouring wine down the sink.
    all jokes aside, ive had hardly any contact with french people in my life, as far as i can tell

  4. #10824

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    Quote Originally Posted by Duckslayer View Post
    People always ignore the French's historic military prowess. Most people seem to only know "hurr french surrender monkeys hurr"
    Odd sort of generally accepted hatred of le french too. I don't get it
    [The following is offered for entertainment value only. It is not intended to criticize France, the French, the French military, or French Fries in anyway. The author of this piece is unknown. It just sort of dropped out on the air on the Internet. Any similarity to history you might have read in school, is purely coincidental. Merci buckets]

    I quote because it's funny:

    "Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
    Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
    Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
    Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
    Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
    War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
    The Dutch War - Tied
    War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
    War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
    American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; " France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
    French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
    The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
    The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
    World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States.
    World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
    War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
    Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
    War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
    The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?" From an American's point of view, the French are always there when they need us!""

  5. #10825
    Keckers's Avatar
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    "funny"
    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Mason
    It is absurd that we are capable of witnessing a 40,000 year old system of gender oppression begin to dissolve before our eyes yet still see the abolition of a 200 year old economic system as an unrealistic utopia.

  6. #10826
    Lowa [NSN]'s Avatar
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    New Bond Trailer: https://youtu.be/ixZc90cnhgM

    Black Widow Teaser: https://youtu.be/RxAtuMu_ph4
    Quote Originally Posted by Tarminic View Post
    I would create a dragon made out of vaginas. Then I would create a dragon made out of dicks. Then I would have them fight to the death.

  7. #10827
    Armyofme's Avatar
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    Omg, I cant wait. It looks really good

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  8. #10828

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    I enjoyed last 2 MIs more then last 2 Bonds, i have not much hopes.

  9. #10829
    Movember 2011Movember 2012 Nordstern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candy Crush View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Duckslayer View Post
    People always ignore the French's historic military prowess. Most people seem to only know "hurr french surrender monkeys hurr"
    Odd sort of generally accepted hatred of le french too. I don't get it
    [The following is offered for entertainment value only. It is not intended to criticize France, the French, the French military, or French Fries in anyway. The author of this piece is unknown. It just sort of dropped out on the air on the Internet. Any similarity to history you might have read in school, is purely coincidental. Merci buckets]

    I quote because it's funny:

    "Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
    Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
    Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
    Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
    Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
    War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
    The Dutch War - Tied
    War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
    War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
    American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; " France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
    French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
    The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
    The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
    World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States.
    World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
    War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
    Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
    War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
    The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?" From an American's point of view, the French are always there when they need us!""
    Why not post the rest from albinoblacksheep?

    - World War I
    - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

    Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you."
    With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses:

    Norse invasions, 841-911.
    After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years.

    Andrew Ouellette posts this in response:

    1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. then the French start the largest building and economic infrastructure since the fall of the Roman Empire the Norman Economy skyrockets and the Normans inadvertantly start England to become a major world Power Vive La France-

    Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above:

    Oh dear. We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's".

    Mexico, 1863-1864.
    France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Booted out of the country a little over a year after arrival.

    Panama jungles 1881-1890.
    No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914.

    Napoleonic Wars.
    Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions.

    Haiti, 1791-1804.
    French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally.

    India, 1673-1813.
    British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine...). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England.

    Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830.
    Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815.

    1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S.
    French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations.

    Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s.
    Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day.

    French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair):

    1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.
    When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. God will know His own." Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children.

    St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572.
    Once again, French-on-French slaughter.

    Third Crusade.
    Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish.

    Seventh Crusade.
    St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. Resoundingly crushed.

    [Eighth] Crusade.
    St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. See Seventh Crusade.

    Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses.

    Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me:

    Seven year War 1756-1763
    Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Brits. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and India (Clive at Plassey).

    Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following:

    The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. This ended their colonialism. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair.
    Last edited by Nordstern; December 6 2019 at 02:13:48 AM.
    "Holy shit, I ask you to stop being autistic and you debate what autistic is." - spasm
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    WTF I hate white people now...

  10. #10830
    Movember 2011Movember 2012 Nordstern's Avatar
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    Hopper's back!
    "Holy shit, I ask you to stop being autistic and you debate what autistic is." - spasm
    Quote Originally Posted by Larkonis Trassler View Post
    WTF I hate white people now...

  11. #10831

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    Ad Astra was quite bad. got some "let's make Apocalypse Now in space" -vibes but the whole thing fell really flat and didn't feel plausible in any way.

  12. #10832
    Shaftoes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by depili View Post
    Ad Astra was quite bad. got some "let's make Apocalypse Now in space" -vibes but the whole thing fell really flat and didn't feel plausible in any way.
    Its very pretty, but there is not much substance to it.

  13. #10833
    Duckslayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nordstern View Post


    Hopper's back!

  14. #10834
    Dorvil Barranis's Avatar
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    Hopper spent so much time in Russian prison since the '80s, he went native and picked up the accent.
    "Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered, those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid. Thus the wise win before they fight, while the ignorant fight to win." - Zhuge Liang


  15. #10835
    GeromeDoutrande's Avatar
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    Tentatively going with "all the good jokes are already in the trailer" for this one. Premise is FHC-compatible though.

  16. #10836
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    Quote Originally Posted by rufuske View Post
    Anyone seen Midway? I want to watch only battle scenes and don't care for the rest. Worth it?
    Seen Midway, itís like Indianapolis Men of Courage or whatevs the subtitle was but worst.

    Battles are meh and lack in realism and suffer from an uncanny valley thing where even World of Warplanes feels more real. Sound work is brilliant throughout though.

    I kinda liked it overall but slept through like half of it (slept through 3/4 of Indianapolis so ymmv).


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    Guns make the news, science doesn't.

  17. #10837
    Super Chillerator Global Moderator teds :D's Avatar
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    i don't understand people that sleep through movies

  18. #10838
    thebomby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeromeDoutrande View Post


    Tentatively going with "all the good jokes are already in the trailer" for this one. Premise is FHC-compatible though.
    That looks positively terrible.
    Будь смиренным, будь кротким, не заботься о тленном
    Власти, данной Богом, сынок, будь навеки верным...
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  19. #10839
    Armyofme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by depili View Post
    Ad Astra was quite bad. got some "let's make Apocalypse Now in space" -vibes but the whole thing fell really flat and didn't feel plausible in any way.
    Watched it on friday, and i quite enjoyed it.

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  20. #10840

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armyofme View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by depili View Post
    Ad Astra was quite bad. got some "let's make Apocalypse Now in space" -vibes but the whole thing fell really flat and didn't feel plausible in any way.
    Watched it on friday, and i quite enjoyed it.
    I didnt really get it, what was supposed to happen? I watched it on the plane maybe the cirtical plot point was missed when ordering a coffee but i dont know??

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