The Serious Mental Health Thread

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

There's a need for a place to discuss mental health illness.

We aren't here to diagnose, but serve more as a group effort to failheap members where one can bitch and maybe get some serious advice from someone who's been there.

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was about 13. Have had it under control in various sorts since then. Medication and therapy proved decisive.

Expert board:
Me
Sacul
Mrenda
Viper Shizzle (Really)

Pscyh Meds

Medication is another tool in the toolbox. They should be taken under the supervision of a psychiatrist and not be used in lieu of an actual treatment plan that includes both medication and therapy. It's like biscuits without gravy.

Side-effects exist but there's no way to predict whether you'll experience them or how bad they will be. It's your life, you choose how to live it. You have to weigh the side-effects with how bad your symptoms are. For some people it's a no-brainer and others you might want to use caution. Nonetheless, don't let your fears of side-effects completely turn you off from medication entirely. Sometimes you have to try several different medications to find the appropriate therapeutic effect with the least amount of side-effects.

~Be awesome people, you deserve it!

[Shiodome]

so, how does one define depression? for example, i've lacked any motivation my entire adult life am prone to long periods of anxiety and left to my own devices i'll avoid people all of which i've a vague notion of being 'symptoms'. but seeing as i've always been this way i just see it as my 'personality' for want of a better word and have never felt an urge to be treated. sure i've felt low pretty frequently, but that's a logical result of not being motivated and therefor not acheiving as much as i want... given that feeling low is a logical response to a real world situation can this be counted as depression.

I guess this post is a 'wtf is depression anyway?' post.

[Shirazzz]

One thing I have learned is that the number of people who go through really shitty times is astronomical, everyone has skeletons so chin up when you go through it.

(Goddamn I want to help but I'm so terrible at it.)

EDIT: Id also advise that, if it means a lot to you, do not post about it in the emo thread. A lot of people do and it seems to work out most of the time but personally have had p bad experiences as far as that went which lead to a much worse situation.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

so, how does one define depression? for example, i've lacked any motivation my entire adult life am prone to long periods of anxiety and left to my own devices i'll avoid people all of which i've a vague notion of being 'symptoms'. but seeing as i've always been this way i just see it as my 'personality' for want of a better word and have never felt an urge to be treated. sure i've felt low pretty frequently, but that's a logical result of not being motivated and therefor not acheiving as much as i want... given that feeling low is a logical response to a real world situation can this be counted as depression.

I guess this post is a 'wtf is depression anyway?' post.

The word depression itself is ambiguous. It has become a colloquial catchall for an array of mood disorders that are symptomatically grouped around "feeling down", more or less. It can be as bad as utterly incapable of taking care of yourself, in an active psychosis, and unless physically restrained you will do anything to kill yourself. On the lighter side, you can experience 1-3 weeks of being sad, lethargy, and just want to be alone. There's a whole lot of inbetween and what each individual experiences can be quite different.

The big factor of when this period of "feeling down" becomes clinically significant is how debilitating it is for you. If you feel that these periods of "feeling down" have had a detrimental effect on the quality of life, you have every right to seek help. It may just be talk-therapy, but you may prescribed medication to treat your anxiety and/or depression.

If you choose to go that route, don't accept medication from a GP. See a psychiatrist and have him/her refer you to a therapist. Medication for depression-lite is ambiguous compared to talk-therapy. Nonetheless, it should be taken under supervision of somehow to knows a thing or two about mental health disorders. If your GP won't refer you, make a big fucking stink about it.

You have every right to not feel like shit. Treatment for your ails isn't a crutch. Hell, there's some frightening numbers that point towards men who "tough out" depression alone are more likely to have their situation grow worse and they have a higher suicide rate. So trying to be a tough guy comes with the chance of being hospitalized or dead.

Post/PM if you have any other questions or comments.

[Roam]

I've got to be out the door in 2 minutes so I'll keep this brief and succinct, but I would like to touch briefly on what FMAR said about gp's and medication for depression-lite, and back him up.

First off, anti-depressants are (mostly) serious stuff. There's obviously lighter dosages and not quite as invasive stuff, but I've seen quite a few friends and one family member on that stuff and in all cases it worked, but with severe side effects and don't even get me started on trying to quit the stuff. Especially the latter is something why I generally advise people to really talk to a therapist first, and not let shitty GPs hand out medication like that as if it's candy. Your body adapts to the artificial levels of seratonin in your brain from the meds, and as soon as you try to take less or quit entirely most bodies will need time to readjust their own seratonin production levels. Result? You'll fall in a deep deep chasm for a while, which can turn into a vicious cycle leading you back to depression without someone to talk to and a stable group of people who can support you.

Second thing: In my experience, GPs will try to peddle aforementioned meds as if they get some kind of medal for every 100th patient who gets that shit subscribed. Quite recently I've gone through a terrible year, with my already asshole father going into some psychosis like rage mode and assaulting my little brother, me needing to break into the house to try and get him out before serious damage occurs, death threats, police involvements, needing to move to prevent him finding us etc etc and that left me with anxiety attacks for a month or two. My body is still recuperating from the intense amounts of stress I've gone through, and I still have moments of hyperventilating when I'm not feeling stressed in the slightest which cause dizziness and stuff. Every GP I've gone to when the symptoms started immediately jumped to anti depressants, even though mine is not a clinical case but obviously related to the recent occurrences in my life. I sought out therapy myself and that both helped as well as vindicate my own assessment that going on strong anti-depressant meds would have been a bad idea in my case, with the two therapists I've seen both reiterating that GPs jumping to meds like that when it's unnecessary is a common problem that they are very fed up with.

Just my quick two cents on the matter, will post more elaborately when I get back home if you want.

[EchoEpsilon23]

While I am feeling better, thanks to the I suck with girls and emo thread oddly enough, mental illness is something I'll always have and probably always suffer from. Depression, Bipolar, LDs ect.. ect... So I feel that it really depends on the Person when it comes to medicine, I myself am taking a 10 mgs of an anti-depressant which works well since it stops me from feeling like a worthless failure that should die for being a genetic eunuch and mentally ill fucker... In the end, it still does depend on the person. Sometimes talking works, sometimes alternative treatments work, but sometimes they don't, and a little boost can be helpful in my experience.

I'm no expert when it comes to mental illness, I myself seek advice and research these things in hope of understanding myself better in future days, I'm bright but I'm no genius and so I feel that it really all comes down to perspective and your outlook on life when Mental illness is concerned.

[56k Lagman]

so, how does one define depression? for example, i've lacked any motivation my entire adult life am prone to long periods of anxiety and left to my own devices i'll avoid people all of which i've a vague notion of being 'symptoms'. but seeing as i've always been this way i just see it as my 'personality' for want of a better word and have never felt an urge to be treated. sure i've felt low pretty frequently, but that's a logical result of not being motivated and therefor not acheiving as much as i want... given that feeling low is a logical response to a real world situation can this be counted as depression.

I guess this post is a 'wtf is depression anyway?' post.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056481009
This explained it best for me

[Shirazzz]

56k Lagman I too dont think I have even seem someone sum it up better... +rep

[Viper Shizzle]

Hi, I'm also kind of an "expert" I guess. No; I won't diagnose you, I'm not a shrink and this is MY DISCLAIMER telling you that anything I say could be full of complete shit - I'm not a licensed medical professional and you should definitely consult with your mental health professional or GP if you think you're undergoing something serious.

That out of the way: I can help more with general (and specific) questions relating to psychology or neural physiology more so than any specific diagnoses. My background is pretty extensive (especially with social, trauma related and childhood experience based problems) and I'm pretty up to date with the latest DSM bullshit. And yeah, I'll say it now, I'm pretty heavily against pill pushing. Drugs definitely can help and in some cases make a huge difference but drugs alone aren't going to solve any problems.

That being said I'll pop in from time to time and see what's up. If anyone has questions relating directly to something I've posted above feel free to PM me if you don't feel like posting here.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Hi, I'm also kind of an "expert" I guess. No; I won't diagnose you, I'm not a shrink and this is MY DISCLAIMER telling you that anything I say could be full of complete shit - I'm not a licensed medical professional and you should definitely consult with your mental health professional or GP if you think you're undergoing something serious.

That out of the way: I can help more with general (and specific) questions relating to psychology or neural physiology more so than any specific diagnoses. My background is pretty extensive (especially with social, trauma related and childhood experience based problems) and I'm pretty up to date with the latest DSM bullshit. And yeah, I'll say it now, I'm pretty heavily against pill pushing. Drugs definitely can help and in some cases make a huge difference but drugs alone aren't going to solve any problems.

That being said I'll pop in from time to time and see what's up. If anyone has questions relating directly to something I've posted above feel free to PM me if you don't feel like posting here.

I may be overstating a bit, but this man saved my life.

[Rudolf Miller]

Hi, I'm also kind of an "expert" I guess. No; I won't diagnose you, I'm not a shrink and this is MY DISCLAIMER telling you that anything I say could be full of complete shit - I'm not a licensed medical professional and you should definitely consult with your mental health professional or GP if you think you're undergoing something serious.

That out of the way: I can help more with general (and specific) questions relating to psychology or neural physiology more so than any specific diagnoses. My background is pretty extensive (especially with social, trauma related and childhood experience based problems) and I'm pretty up to date with the latest DSM bullshit. And yeah, I'll say it now, I'm pretty heavily against pill pushing. Drugs definitely can help and in some cases make a huge difference but drugs alone aren't going to solve any problems.

That being said I'll pop in from time to time and see what's up. If anyone has questions relating directly to something I've posted above feel free to PM me if you don't feel like posting here.

I may be overstating a bit, but this man saved my life.

(S/F)HC brosefs best brosefs at times

[Shirazzz]

Ironically viper, it was one of your posts that pushed me towards pills lol

[Al Simmons]

So how do you get out of depression when it feels like a part of you that will never go away? I just have no motivation or willpower to do anything productive etc cos it just feels so pointless. Like i'll try and start going to the gym, and i'll go twice, and then stop. Or i'll say I won't stay up all night on the computer, which I can manage for one, maybe two nights before I find myself at x am having the oh so fun decision of staying awake and feeling like shit the next day or going to bed and missing whatever appointment I had that day cos I can't wake up. Or i'll make an appointment at a recruitment agency and then get a fucking attack of nerves and not go.

I mean really, what is the point, I never understood those people that have that drive to work super hard and struggle all their lives. You're probably just going to end up 60 and divorced and broke anyway.

I mean for me now, the best case scenario that I can imagine realistically, is that I could get some shit job that I would hate, due to my extreme lack of work history the last few years. Maybe if by some miracle I manage to stick at that and develop my writing in my spare time or something I could get a non awful job in x years, and maybe if I could stick at the gym I could feel better about my looks and get a girlfriend or whatever. But it just seems so unlikely, so unrealistic, like trying to do an iron man when you can barely walk.

[Viper Shizzle]

So how do you get out of depression when it feels like a part of you that will never go away? I just have no motivation or willpower to do anything productive etc cos it just feels so pointless. Like i'll try and start going to the gym, and i'll go twice, and then stop. Or i'll say I won't stay up all night on the computer, which I can manage for one, maybe two nights before I find myself at x am having the oh so fun decision of staying awake and feeling like shit the next day or going to bed and missing whatever appointment I had that day cos I can't wake up. Or i'll make an appointment at a recruitment agency and then get a fucking attack of nerves and not go.

I mean really, what is the point, I never understood those people that have that drive to work super hard and struggle all their lives. You're probably just going to end up 60 and divorced and broke anyway.

I mean for me now, the best case scenario that I can imagine realistically, is that I could get some shit job that I would hate, due to my extreme lack of work history the last few years. Maybe if by some miracle I manage to stick at that and develop my writing in my spare time or something I could get a non awful job in x years, and maybe if I could stick at the gym I could feel better about my looks and get a girlfriend or whatever. But it just seems so unlikely, so unrealistic, like trying to do an iron man when you can barely walk.

First: If you feel like this is affecting your life in a negative way, talk to your GP and get a referral to a mental health professional. I can offer some advice and insight but not much more.

A large part of what we call depression is perception. It's pretty cliche but perception actually is reality. How you perceive your life and your outlook on things genuinely influences your happiness and the outcomes you can expect from the actions you perform. If you view your life in a positive light you're far more likely to take actions that lead to further happiness, the same thing applies in reverse. Yeah, a lot of psychology can be bullshit and pseudoscience and it can be manipulated by people with agendas to fit their needs but this is one of the things that actually remains true throughout empirical studies.

So really, life is about what's going on in your head. If you feel like things are pointless and you're better off not doing them you're not going to have the motivation to carry on with them. I mean, from what you've posted it seems like you have a pretty bleak outlook on life. I'm sure certain life events have influenced this (and if you feel like posting or PMing them I can give further, targeted, insight) but really what you have to keep in mind is that life doesn't suck all that much.

Why can't you get a job you don't hate?
Why can't you do what you want to do?
What's stopping you from being successful and having a worthwhile life both personally and professionally?

The answer, genuinely, is nothing. You can change everything about your life, you can reinvent yourself. The only thing stopping you is you. This sounds like a horrible self-help book but it's absolutely true. You're blocking yourself from happiness. Why would you continue to stand in your own way when you know it's not how you want to live? Why would you continue to be unhappy when you can change how you feel?

You're not the first person to feel like this, trust. Not all that long ago I was in the same spot. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I resigned myself to thinking that everything was shitty and that I'd never make anything out of myself, I would end up alone and that I could never end up doing what I loved as a career. I internalized this for a long time, longer than I can even really want to admit to myself now. I let myself go to shit during this time too, I didn't do things that I wanted to do, I didn't keep commitments, I let myself go physically to a point where I wasn't happy at all with who I saw in the mirror anymore. I honestly didn't like who I'd become; my friends and family didn't either.

It took one of my closest friends telling me (in no uncertain terms) that I was fucking up my life before I really realized what I was doing to myself. The kicker, it was all mental. Every last bit. Every self-doubt, every time I thought "oh I can't do this" or "that'll never work" before even trying something, it was mental. To this day I don't know why I allowed myself to act this way, I don't know why I allowed myself to form those thoughts and believe them so readily. It pretty much just hit me at that moment that I had to change, I had to do something about it or my life would actually end up like that. It was on me, it always was.

I'm not telling you that you have to become a SUPER HAPPY ALL THE TIME PERSON or someone that always has the best outlook on life. Nobody can do that, nobody real anyway. Rather, try to focus on the good sides of everything instead of dwelling on the negatives. Try to improve yourself every day instead of thinking of reasons you're not good enough. Focus on how to succeed instead of dreaming of reasons how you can fail. Go after what you want in life, nobody else is going to get it for you. If you want to get a job you love, get a job you love. If you want to go to the gym and get healthier and feel better about your body, do it. If you want to develop your writing as a hobby in hopes of one day getting published, do that too. Nothing is stopping you except your own thoughts.

I'm not saying it's not going to be easy, but it's going to be one of the most worthwhile things you do. It's one of those kind of life-defining moments when you stop holding yourself back and you actively go after the things you want in life. Change won't happen overnight, your problems won't go away without struggle and it's not going to be easiest thing you've ever done by any stretch of the imagination. Then again, if it was easy it wouldn't be worthwhile.

I guess to sum this up all I can really say is that if you're not happy with your life, it's on you to change it. Nobody else is going to do it for you. If you continue thinking like this it's only going to drag you down further and you're only going to feel worse and worse. I'm pretty sure that's not what you want.

[Mrenda]

Al. First off, I've been there, I've managed to get out of it to a large degree, it is possible to do so.

Secondly, find someone to talk to. I'd recommend a therapist and a GP visit to ask for a referral to a Psychiatrist: just to talk to at the moment. Like AA says, admitting you have a problem is the first step. The second step is admitting that this problem can be fixed. There's no instant fixes, it does take work, but you can do it. And if you ever want to talk about something, FHC is good for that. I've been posting my mental health emo stuff in the emo thread since FHC started last April. Writing down your problems, even if you expect no real help from anyone is a good thing to do. It clears your mind and gives you some respite. It will also allow you to view them a little more analytically.

Viewing something analytically is absolutely necessary. One thing told to me about depression and mental health issues is that they cause you to view things as "absolutes." You start saying things like, "I will never," or "I can't..." And such thoughts are absolutely untrue.

Apart from going to see doctors and therapists, there are somethings you can do for yourself. But I have to ask a question first: What do you enjoy? Is there anything that at the moment that gives you respite? And the wrong answer to that is drink, drugs and sleeping all day. When you do think about that question, you need to be able to forgive yourself for not being able to do said activity as well or as much as a healthy person. Chances are you're not healthy now. So don't beat yourself up because you think you're not doing something as well as someone else would do it. They're not suffering from what ails you. So you need to forgive yourself for not being able to do things to perfection. However, that doesn't mean you should absolve yourself from trying. Nor when you hit a roadblock should you abandon all future attempts. That's where the absolute thinking comes in, "I can't do it now, so what's the point?" That's absolutely the wrong way to think. The answer is "I can't do it now because I don't feel ok, I have reached a stumbling block, but I know I enjoy what I'm doing, so I will pick myself up and try again later today, or tomorrow."

You mention going to the gym as a problem you've had: how far away from you is the gym? What is the stumbling block that stops you going? Is there a crunch point where you give up? For most unhealthy people going to the gym is difficult. For someone with depression it may seem impossible. So break it down into managable steps. First off, work out when you could go to the gym, look at your weekly schedule and think about when you have free time to go. You don't have to write it down, just keep those times in mind. Next step, every night before you go to bed, pack your gym gear, clothes, shoes, towels, flip flops, shower gel, etc. in your bag and unpack and wash the stuff that you left in the bag from the previous night (even if you didn't go to the gym, it's still probably a little smelly.) Then, with the time you decided you had free to work out, walk to the gym, or get the bus in or drive to the gym. At this point you don't even have to go in and work out. Just try getting to the area where the gym is. If you feel like going in, do. If you don't feel like going in, buy a newspaper or bring a book or smartphone and go get a coffee or pint and read that and relax a bit. You did good just managing to get out of the house. When leaving your house doesn't feel so hard, you might feel like going into the gym when you get to its door. In fact the first day you arrive at it's door you might feel like going in anyway.

And you shouldn't deny yourself that good feeling. If something is going well for you, don't let your depression take over like a fait accompli. If you got out of the house, and into the town where the gym is doesn't mean you have to give up now. Getting out of the house was probably a hard enough thing to do, and if you're anything like me, you'll feel good that you've done so. So if you feel good, keep walking into the gym, try twenty or so minutes sweating on an exercise bike. If you don't feel up to that, how about spending 20 minutes in the steam room or sauna? If you can't walk into the gym, don't worry. Go for your coffee or pint.

You may be thinking, "Exercising every day will make me feel better, so I really should go to the gym every day." Then you'll straight away put three or four massive barriers in the way of doing so, and abandon the idea of exercising at the gym every day. The point I'm making is that you don't have to achieve that much, you sound unwell at the moment, and I doubt very many un-well people have climbed Everest. So stop thinking about these grand ideas that you have to achieve to become healthy. Instead of exercising every day, say you will at least try and make it to the door of the gym. If you don't feel up to working five days a week, nine to five, find something with flexible working hours and an undestanding boss. Even if this means volunteering handing out soup to homeless people one night a week, then do that.

Dealing with depression, outside of medication and therapy, is all about taking the small steps towards a healthy life. But you're mental health will look at the broadness and vastness of "getting healthy" and say, "IMPOSSIBRU!" So do what you think you're capable of. Don't say you're going to have a wank every day, that's easily managable. Push yourself a little, push yourself towards something small that will have a positive effect. So instead of wanking every day, say that you'll have a wank in the bath with bubbles and candles and aromatherapy shit and once a week you'll go out and buy such accoutrements.

Really, it's all about accepting that you're unwell at the moment and doing what you can to stop that unwell feeling. But at the moment saying, "I WILL BE HEALTHY DAMMIT" is just stupid, no-one can go from depressed to life of the party in one easy step. You need to take things in a managable way, a small amount of pushing yourself, and absolutely forgiving yourself when things don't work out, but equally allowing yourself to enjoy when you have made a small step towards a good day.

If you feel like writing here or on #failheap about what's getting you down, I think that would be a good first step. Simply recognising what it is that you feel bad about, and what scares you or feels unmanageable will be a huge help towards looking at what you can do to help yourself.

[D'hofren]

I am going to chip in here as well, it's going to be a short post, posting from my phone in a hotel up north.

There is a uk charity called mind. And simply put they are amazing. If you have concerns about either your own mental state, a fiends or a loved ones, you can call them, in confidence, and talk.

They also run support groups for people effected by a family members mental health issues.

[Ralara]

I'm actually quite a lot like al simmons in mind. In fact about 10 days ago i almost killed myself. I got oh so very close to it but backed out - thank goodness :)

In any case, after that I looked at what is wrong with my life - I made a list of everything i'm not happy with. It's a long list and I know I can't change all of it - especially all at once.

The big thing with me is self confidence. I don't have a high opinion of myself at all - I don't like the way I look, I don't like my weight, I don't like my face (to the point of not having a photo taken in years and no mirrors in my house except one I can't get rid of but cover up). I don't like my voice, I don't like how I walk.

I'm also seemingly unable to maintain a long standing relationship - and I don't just mean romantically - I mean friends as well. I have... 3, perhaps 4 friends who I ever consider doing stuff with. Ofc I have acquaintances and people I get on with - but outside of whatever setting I've met them (work, college or whatever) I wont socialise with them.

I'm also incredibly lazy. I am not a driven person - and I don't think I ever will be. But then that's not my goal in life - I don't want to be a CEO or some high up manager. Doesn't interest me.

But something happened a couple of months ago - something I didn't notice until recently.

I put on an old pair of trousers which I'd had for a while and noticed I'd "shrunk" 4 belt notches. Didn't even notice it. Of course, day by day, you don't. It's like grandparents who don't see their grandkids for 6 months and are amazed at how much they've grown.

So Al - there are little steps to take... I've still got to see my GP because I'm intelligent enough to realise that what was/is going on in my head isn't normal and obviously nearly killing myself was silly - that's not right and needs to be fixed... but one thing that made me smile were the belt notches.

Something that was not measurable day by day, suddenly became something tangible.

It made me happy.

[Mrenda]

I'm feeling a bit emo at the moment. Kind of fucking weird that FHC, a hive of scum and villainy is a place where there's a Serious mental health/serious sex/serious women troubles thread.

The past few days of srs bsns, my grandmother pulling a stunt, and internet trolling (not to mention changing my medication's dose time) have fucked me up a little.

[Sacul]

When fmar pm-ed me i thought it was a good idea but im also a bit worried someone will figure out who i am in real life. Im gonna take a chance here and just see what will happen but i expect some blowback.

I have bi-polar disorder and i figured this year that i most likely have had it since my early teens. The first trigger was my parents divorce. It was a major clusterfuck, i was 13, and ended with my mum hiding for my dad in a womens shelter. Mania 1 was there. I had all the signs back then, sleeping 4 hours, flying of the handle, addictive personality etc.

It is a small miracle i actually got a degree (masters in polisci and a bachelor in contemporary history). As i got older, 33 now, the cycle worsened. Last year i had a huge depression with suicidal thoughts. Now im also a smart guy so yes i figured out what was wrong with me. But i couldnt break the cycle, i knew what to do but completely inapt to make a change.

Early this year i finally went to see a pro, i had a strong hate against shrinks having seen my grandma die in a psych ward after a psychosis. She spend the last 10 years of her live there with the diagnosis korsakoff.

Seeking help is the smartest thing i have ever done and would have been dead now if i hadnt taken that hurdlle.

Meds and therapy work wonders but i also see i am one of the lucky ones.
Its a struggle to find the right pills and therapy. With me its both my second pill and method of therapy.

Im a big believer in paying it forward and with my own company plus project work im doing just that.

One of the best methods, for me, is just being brutally honest. I dont go around with a big sign hailookatmethebipolarguy but honesty with the people i work with, new friends i made and on fhc.

I just finished a course 'working with experience' (no clue what the proper english lingo is for that one). Starting februari i will be training social workers and psychologists, i also work for a client interest group as a lobbyist until april. Then there are various more commercial projects. I have a lot of experience in and with this.

Its been a rough year but i am finally happy in what i do and my future looks bright. I did completely break with a lot of old friends and my entire family this year. They were a constant trigger for me and with their inability to understand my situation even after hours and hours of talking just made me say fuck this i cant have it both ways.
The only thing lacking is a steady girl. I have been going from one to the other and that really doesnt help me, triggers etc.

On the matter of meds vs therapy i take escitalopram, 10 mg, and visit my psych every week on thursday.
There is no one or the other. The meds help with my serotonin levels and against general anxiety disorder and the therapy helps me get perspective weekly and take the appropriate action.

I also have sleeping pills, mirtazapine, for when i need them. So far my box of 30 has lasted me 4 months.
A plus is the escitalopram works like viagra a neg is its hard on the liver and there is a whole score of other meds i can not take also i cant stand heavy liquor anymore. All things i can live with.

I hope my trust in fhc wont backfire.

[Sacul]

Just remembered 2 more side effects. One is that like most meds from the ssri type aswell as most anti-psychotics they fuck with your dental health. Im still a bit unsure how but it has to do with having a dry mouth and your enzyms being off balance which leads to nr. 2.
I have hunger pangs on the oddests moments. After a big lunch i can suddenly feel like i havent a bite all day. This made me very conscious about what i eat and when.
Still losing weight due to that but combined with jogging for the marathon thats ok. Lost over 24kg in a year if i keep it up ill be a skinny fucker in 2013.

[EchoEpsilon23]

I can say now that the best way to get over depression and suicidal thoughts, it's not by ignoring it (that's worse) or dwelling on it (bad) but by accepting it and moving on from it. And that's the hardest part is coming to terms to Depression and moving from it, I can't explain how you do that but you have to come terms with who you are, but in my own experience without that you are stuck in a binge versus purge cycle, and sometimes you can't break that cycle.

What I mean by a binge versus purge cycle, is that at certain points you start binge spree of negative thoughts or whatever, and you eventually purge it away. It almost sounds like a Bipolarism now that I think of it, but it's over a much longer time and has more significant implications than that. You are either trying to rid yourself of the dark thoughts with yourself or your delving fully in the dark thoughts of depression and suicide.

On the topic of suicide, it's been discussed whether or not it's the cowardly way out or if it's easy. I think those that commit suicide are neither foolish or cowardly, neither smart or dumb, it's not sad it's just how it is. In my own person experience suicide is not easy, in the 28 times I have tried to commit suicide starting when I was ten, I have never over-ride my basic survival instincts thus I still live here.

But unfornuately for myself depression, even after I have accepted myself and moved on it creeps back like a long lost puppy, biting at your ankles for you to indulge it, to jump in the dark maelstrom and loose yourself in chaos. Maybe that won't happen, maybe it will.

I guess what I'm saying, I understand where your coming from and from my experience, the pain doesn't go away it just hibernates and sprouts time to time.

[Raine Woot]

Buceph's post specifically up there resonated with me. It took a therapist saying something rather similar to kick me in the ass.

I was pretty depressed (self diagnosis, grain of salt etc.) from middle school to a year or so after high school, culminating in leeching off my parents, unemployed, and feeling like I'd prefer to just fail at life and kill myself rather than put in the effort to turn it all around. I hated myself, I looked at others living their lives and getting on with it and couldn't imagine how they did it. For me, being hard on myself made me too afraid and lazy to try. When this was pointed out to me, and she said "You have to forgive yourself," I did, and it made all the difference. Self-hate for any reason is like carrying the weight of the world on your back. Even if you hurt someone, even if you did something really awful, you have to forgive yourself so you can move on. If it means making reparations or seeking forgiveness from someone else, do that. Either way, you can't be so hard on yourself or you'll never think it's worth it to give it another shot.

Also getting a job, even if you hate it, is an important stepping stone and it's infinitely better than be unemployed.

[dstopia]

On the matter of meds vs therapy i take escitalopram, 10 mg, and visit my psych every week on thursday.

Holy shit Sacul it's like you're me. I take the exact same medication and see the shrink the exact same days.

In my case, I started taking pills this year after 8 months of therapy that were leading me nowhere. After starting on them I felt like a changed man. There's still a lot I need to deal with, but I feel so much calmer now.

And I was extremely weary of taking that kind of drugs. I feel like I should have done it so long ago, damn.

I still lack self confidence, a sexual partner, and a lot other things, but the drugs helped me rebuild my relationship with my father, my mother and my stepfather, and for all that I'm extremely grateful.

[Mrenda]

Buceph's post specifically up there resonated with me. It took a therapist saying something rather similar to kick me in the ass.

I was pretty depressed (self diagnosis, grain of salt etc.) from middle school to a year or so after high school, culminating in leeching off my parents, unemployed, and feeling like I'd prefer to just fail at life and kill myself rather than put in the effort to turn it all around. I hated myself, I looked at others living their lives and getting on with it and couldn't imagine how they did it. For me, being hard on myself made me too afraid and lazy to try. When this was pointed out to me, and she said "You have to forgive yourself," I did, and it made all the difference. Self-hate for any reason is like carrying the weight of the world on your back. Even if you hurt someone, even if you did something really awful, you have to forgive yourself so you can move on. If it means making reparations or seeking forgiveness from someone else, do that. Either way, you can't be so hard on yourself or you'll never think it's worth it to give it another shot.

Also getting a job, even if you hate it, is an important stepping stone and it's infinitely better than be unemployed.

Big up Raine. I'm really happy my post hit a chord with someone.

And ancilliary to forgiving yourself is not giving up on yourself. You may only be capable of taking small steps at the moment. But it's better to take those small steps, fail occasionaly, forgive yourself and try again than to do nothing. Just let yourself know that those small steps are worth it.

Edit: Also, big up dstopia.

[Al Simmons]

Some good posts guys, I guess i'll expand a bit more.

So regarding doctors and psychs/medication etc, seriously been there done that. When I was 19, after dropping out of college for the second time, and sitting on my ass for a few months, it finally clicked that I probably had a serious problem. I went to the GP with my mum and I tried a few different medications, eventually ending on on citalopram, which sat ok with me after the first few months, which were ass. Did the whole psychiatrist thing for years, first I saw my mum's bosses' wife, I really liked her but the funding changed or something so then I went to a different place, and saw some student doctors for a few months. I feel that the therapy kind of helped me, I guess I saw some things more clearly, but like, at the end of the day you can talk about all this stuff about the past and how you feel about it and how you feel now until you're hoarse, but it doesn't actually tangibly change anything, you know?
I think i've kind of inherited that philosophy by osmosis from my dad, who is incapable of thinking or at least expressing anything that isn't in the practical and physical world. I mean it doesn't seem to have done me any good dragging up all this old shit. And plus I hate having to switch to a new counsellor or whatever every few months, it sucks. And in the end, they are just doing their job, they don't particularly give a shit about you outside of their office, do they.

So yeah, about 3 years after that, I had a proper full blown psychotic episode. I'd had periods of hypo-mania before, but i'd usually get over it after some big blow-out fight with my family or else just sink back down again and sleep for like a week. So went to hospital, stayed there for a few weeks, and got put on risperidone as well as the citalopram. Stayed in a supported housing place for 6 months, and then got a decent-ish flat in the shit part of town supported by a ton of benefits.

So that was about 3 years ago. I very half-heartedly tried a bit of volunteer work and jobhunting, but to be honest i was/am way too comfortable sitting on my ass collecting benefits and playing computer games. So this summer, I got taken off my medications by my doctor after having drawn them down over a few months. I wasn't really sure that I would be ok without them, but I was pretty sick of having to take them after like 5 years, and I didn't want to stay on them forever. So I started feeling better, more energetic, I was doing volunteering for the Prince's Trust, writing for their magazine, but it all got a bit too much, the people running the course were giving me shit, as was my brother again, and I kind of snapped. It wasn't as bad as the time before, like I wasn't having hallucinations etc and I was thinking clearly, but I did steal a grand off my dad and try to fly to Amsterdam lol.
So ended up in the same fucking mental ward, with the same people working there who all remembered me from 3 years before when I was truly loopy, which was shit. And it was a gorgeous summer which I pretty much missed entirely being stuck in there, was fucking horrendous. Plus I was twisting myself into knots about an operation my mum was having, and my uncles didn't let me speak to her until I got out, which I was super pissed off about.

Anyway so here I am, 5am christmas morning not having been able to sleep lol, and I really can't be fucked with christmas, like at all. I dunno, I just can't seem to keep at like a normal level, whatever normal is, it's either super up or super down. And either end fucking blows, yeah i've been pretty close to suicide, literally a couple of feet away once, but I never seem to be able to take that final step. I wish I fucking would. And then on the other end, you have the times where you're feeling good, you think you're getting on, moving on somewhere finally, and you actually have energy and ability to do stuff, but then it goes too far and you do something stupid and end up locked away again with random doctors pushing psychoactive drugs on you. And then you get out, and get home, and you're right back where you started, with all that energy having been dissipated, and feeling extra foolish and stupid.

It just seems so bleak. And yeah I do agree with all the stuff you guys have said, with taking stuff slowly, and not beating yourself up about it, and so on, cos I know I do all those things wrong. I just don't know how to get out of this mindset.

Was gonna end with "oh well, i'll get through christmas and then come up with a plan or something in the new year", but I remember saying that exact same thing this time last year, probably several years in a row in fact, and i'm still in the exact same place.

[Mrenda]

I dunno man but I'll be fucking brutal here. Sounds like you have a problem you're not willing to accept or deal with. You talk about coming off meds, did your doctor give up on you, or did he acquiesce to your request that you come off meds, or were you doing well enough to come off them? If it's the latter, go back on the meds and try again. If it's the prior, I'm not too sure. Something someone said to me recently (a lovely bi-polar man who got me tickets to some big matches around here) was that you have to accept that something like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia affects you for life. It's never going away, you will always have it, you will always be looking over your shoulder watching out for them. And once you can accept that you'll be somewhat better because you can learn to deal with their heinousness when it does approach.

I think it goes a little hand in hand with not beating yourself up (especially about your ups and downs) and taking things slowly (don't let those ups get too high nor those lows too down.)

This is where this thread is treading on dangerous ground. Everyone and anyone can offer advice about dicking girls, dicking boys and dicking furries. Everyone can offer help on finding the girl's g-spot, the man's prostate and the furry's love nest. We can't really offer true psychiatric help. v0v. I can talk to you (I've been in #failheap since it opened.) I can talk to you about managing the day to day. I can't cure you though. Your doctors are better able to help you with that.

If you're feeling a little emo tonight, then I hope us talking to you has helped. In fact I genuinely hope anything said here will be helpful. But somethings we're just not capable of dealing with. If this has been something that's been troubling you for a long time then all I can say is engage with the professionals honestly, and keep trying until you find the one who treats you professionaly, and who treats you in a way you can be your best. But if you want someone to shoot the shit with, to whinge and moan with, or just to read over your thoughts, then that's what I can do.

[Al Simmons]

Man, I can't get irc to work, i'm not from the goddamn 1980s.

[Sponk]

56k Lagman I too dont think I have even seem someone sum it up better... +rep

[XenosisReaper]

FHC always surprises me, I'll try and chip in with some of my experiences once I've killed this hangover

[Grendelfreak]

was that you have to accept that something like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia affects you for life. It's never going away, you will always have it, you will always be looking over your shoulder watching out for them. And once you can accept that you'll be somewhat better because you can learn to deal with their heinousness when it does approach.

This is probably the best bit of advice I have either heard concerning mental illness and IIRC Craig Ferguson said something similar about Alcoholism and I suspect it can be expanded to include all addictions and mental conditions, including my own particular depression.

I have never been a happy person and have been told I act like an old man by multiple people. This was probably a mix of personality and birth order (I'm the eldest of four so I was/still am expected to sacrifice for the needs of the younger siblings) repeating bullying throughout school (until I discovered that violence does solve problems) and i'm sure the near-panic attacks whenever the phone rang because I was the one who had to field the debt collectors (No mum and dad aren't here, no I don't know when they'll be back kthxbye) didn't help either.


It's probably because of this that I have little self-control and the only reason i'm not a druggie or Alcoholic is because i'm a tightarse with money (never felt so much rage and embarrasment as the time I was called to the Principals Office because my parents hadn't paid the school fees). I'm also a severe procrastinator-perfectionist. And to top it off I only do anything when i'm compelled or the situation is unbearable such as only going to the doctor when the ear infection is crippling, getting a haircut only when its way too long and generally only leaving the house when I run out of stuff or work commitments.


The reason I just summarised my life is partly because it makes me feel better writing it all down but also to illustrate the importance of self awareness. Knowing who I am means understanding my triggers, what stresses me out and gives me ideas on how to combat it all. I fight my homebody* tendancies by going to parties, spent more money than I would otherwise have (and thought about what they would like aka social interaction) on Christmas presents and most importantly made long term plans. Granted I didn't so much succeed as not fail this year but i'm improving and that is what is important.

I'm not sure if any of this helped anyone else or even made sense but it chilled me out. Now i'm off to bed because the last thing I need is fucked up sleeping patterns.

* My grandmother called me that once and I assumed that was the 1930s version of basement-dwelling neckbeard.

[Sacul]

Al simons is the perfect example why only meds dont work. Get proper therapy mate. The one where you make a signal and recovery plan for yourself with the shrink. Use some pills to get stable but leave it at that. Accepting and adjusting thats what it is about.

bigup

[Jon.J]

Jumping on in here.

August of 2010 I moved to London and started post-grad medical school [4 years instead of 5, already got a degree in BioMed Sci], medicine was something I always wanted to do. Day 1 and I have to go to occupational health for some vaccines and some bloods to be taken, I'm nervous and shakey as I've never been a fan of needles. They tried to take some blood and couldn't, my peripheral veins had shut down. I said I'd have some water and fresh air and come back in 5 minutes.

I didn't. I did a runner. I thought about quitting right there. Earlier that day we had some induction lectures - where stuff was, basic things. One of things was the location of the counselors. Lucky for me one of the counselors had a free slot as someone hadn't turned up. I saw that counselor once a week for 2 months before seeing a psychiatrist who did an assessment and refereed me via my GP for some cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) at the local hospital. I found talking to that counselor initially very helpful but I over the weeks I found it pointless, we had decided I would benefit from CBT but they couldn't do my particular type of CBT at the in-house counselors/psychiatrist. I don't know if because I'm a medical student I somehow got quicker access but I was seeing a psychiatrist for CBT by December 2011. I saw that psychiatrist up until September of this year and I still have an open appointment if I need to go and see them.

Looking back at that time and talking to my gf, my family and my friends I know that I went through a period of depression but while I was inside it I didn't notice because I had gradually slipped into it. I now feel a lot better, I now feel much more capable with my studies.

TL: DR Go get help, it helps

[Dark Flare]

Sup, depression and clinical OCD since the age of 14. Shit sucks.

[Ben Derindar]

I just watched a really interesting documentary called Cracking Up (http://www.standupformentalhealth.com/), about a bunch of people with various mental illnesses who take up classes in stand-up comedy. By the end they had each performed to a sellout audience of 450, it was pretty impressive and inspiring.

It reminded me a little bit of myself when I was younger. I've never been diagnosed with anything officially, but I was bullied through most of my school years, and that had some interesting side effects. For example, I had absolutely no inhibition when it came to public speaking, something that I know freaks a lot of people out. But I somehow reasoned that since I was already one of the least popular kids at school, I really had nothing left to lose in the eyes of others.

So I did things like speech competitions, debating classes and so on. Then I moved on to the weekly high school radio show, and the following year I became a part-time announcer at the local radio station while still in Year 12. It was the last thing some people expected of me, but it happened anyway, and looking back I think it did a lot more for me personally than perhaps I realised at the time.

So to anyone here who is having self-confidence issues, would you consider taking up some form of public speaking yourself?

[firefoxx80]

Just to chip in with my thoughts. Some of these might be mentioned already, and they are all random.


The meds basically fuck with your brain chemistry, and as the doctor will tell you, it'll take ~1-2weeks to stabilise in your system. This is not ibuprofen, it won't suddenly help in 20minutes. There's two points I want to make here:
a) It might not work first time. I've had several friends who have had to change anti-depressant type/dosage, each time taking the 1-2weeks to ensure it gets into their system. This is important when you consider the second point...
b) Whether it be brain chemistry, or people thinking the anti-depressants will magically 'fix things', you will experience a massive-low. Write "IT'S NOT AS BAD AS YOU THINK, IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!" on a post-it, stick it to the fridge; even better, tell a mate or two who can be your 'depression buddy'. Get them to text you every few hours to make sure you're ok, and be on the end of a phone if you need them.
After the drugs kick in, you will feel better (taking the above posts into account, it'll only mask things). But bear in mind that the startup period will be a bitch.


Hide the booze. A casual drink is fine, as is the occasional bender, but alcohol is a depressant.


All of you, by nature of posting here, must have a roof over your head, food in your belly, and enough to survive. Although it's incredibly hard to be objective and not subjective (I find it difficult), remember that things aren't as bad as they seem.

[Sacul]

Hide the booze. A casual drink is fine, as is the occasional bender, but alcohol is a depressant.



the fuck it is?

Seriously you just have to know what the meds do and in most cases it is hard hitting on the liver and kidneys (as in they make them work hard). Ill try and find the tech manual of some ssri's (only know them in dutch) so you can see what it truely does. (displayed in active ingredient: xpicograms/liter; half time of xhours etc).

For me i know i cant stand hard liquor to much anymore so i just stick to wine and beer. Its a small adjustment, just be smart about it.

[firefoxx80]

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=alcohol+depressant
...
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/depression/alcoholanddepression_000486.htm

[Sacul]

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=alcohol+depressant
...
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/depression/alcoholanddepression_000486.htm

:facepalm:

ok lets just chuck that to a language problem. I misread, sorry, carry on.

[Greme]

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=alcohol+depressant
...
[url]

:facepalm:
not emptyselectivequotin

[dstopia]

I haven't received any alcohol contraindications while on escitalopram O_O

Granted I was never a fan of strong liquors and I mostly deal with beer and wine, but I've gotten drunk several times and I hardly had any problems (I never get hammered anyways, since I have a pretty accurate internal measure of how much I can drink and I can stop pretty much whenever I realize I can't take another drink). Pot did give me a panic attack twice, though (I've since stopped doing it entirely, I never enjoyed it much anyways).

[Mrenda]

I hope you guys are doing ok. I kind of think this thread is a reflection of srs mental health in general... A lot of people struggling/trundling/excelling on. Not much to say, but they're getting there. People doing ok, but sometimes we need support. Big up my schizophrenic/ocd/depressive/bi-polar/aspie friends! I don't know your name, but I care about you in fierce srs places like these. Big up ma8tes.

[Jocelyn Fernos]

I hope you guys are doing ok. I kind of think this thread is a reflection of srs mental health in general... A lot of people struggling/trundling/excelling on. Not much to say, but they're getting there. People doing ok, but sometimes we need support. Big up my schizophrenic/ocd/depressive/bi-polar/aspie friends! I don't know your name, but I care about you in fierce srs places like these. Big up ma8tes.

Big up m8.

I do feel the same way. I do pop in and read here from time to time, I might not have much to add but big up to everyone struggeling. I'm struggeling myself from time to time with some form of depression, mostly because I feel quite a bit lonly and missing to coming home to someone, been like this since my last breakup. Most of the days I don't think about it or feel anything other days I'm more of a wreck and just hate everything/everyone in my life. I think I still miss her, but having female attention coming my way feels really good, I just hope I wont scew up.

Anyway compare to what some of you guys are going trough and struggeling with, my issues or problems are nothing in compairision. Keep figthing and big ups to all the FHC brosefs here.

[Azure]

Fucking hell.

This thread alone keeps the flame alive that there are humans behind the keyboards rather than malevolent, gibbering, spiteful, internerds.

Big up.

(I do have my own crosses to bear but i'm ok so I won't share.)

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Fucking hell.

This thread alone keeps the flame alive that there are humans behind the keyboards rather than malevolent, gibbering, spiteful, internerds.

Big up.

(I do have my own crosses to bear but i'm ok so I won't share.)

No, please share. That's the purpose of this thread. You never know, your posts may resonate with someone and could lead to them getting better.

Never pass up an opportunity where you might help someone.

[Takon Orlani]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression? I swear I lose all desire for anything during the winter months. Maybe I'm just experiencing a burnout from constant classwork over the last year and independent study for the last three months.

At any rate, trying to stay motivated and on course is a bitch. At least for me. I hardly enjoy anything, going to bars, playing pool, cards etc. Video games, nothing.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression? I swear I lose all desire for anything during the winter months. Maybe I'm just experiencing a burnout from constant classwork over the last year and independent study for the last three months.

At any rate, trying to stay motivated and on course is a bitch. At least for me. I hardly enjoy anything, going to bars, playing pool, cards etc. Video games, nothing.

Need more sunlight. There's supposedly lamps that emit a spectrum similar to the sun, but going for the walks during the day help me.

[Andrea Griffin]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression?Need more sunlight. There's supposedly lamps that emit a spectrum similar to the sun, but going for the walks during the day help me.If lack of sunshine is part of the problem, many people find that full spectrum light bulbs can help. You can buy them almost anywhere that sells normal light bulbs. I use them throughout my house.

They are more expensive than standard light bulbs, but not by a huge margin. Besides - if it helps you feel better then who cares how much it costs?

I do have some tidbits to add to the thread at some point, but too tired tonight.

[Viper Shizzle]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression? I swear I lose all desire for anything during the winter months. Maybe I'm just experiencing a burnout from constant classwork over the last year and independent study for the last three months.

At any rate, trying to stay motivated and on course is a bitch. At least for me. I hardly enjoy anything, going to bars, playing pool, cards etc. Video games, nothing.

Seasonal Affective Disorder. Pretty well researched, understood enough to where it's very manageable.

Has a lot to do with light reception by the eye and hormone/NT production/transmission. Find yourself a natural light lamp.

[Sacul]

I haven't received any alcohol contraindications while on escitalopram O_O

Granted I was never a fan of strong liquors and I mostly deal with beer and wine, but I've gotten drunk several times and I hardly had any problems (I never get hammered anyways, since I have a pretty accurate internal measure of how much I can drink and I can stop pretty much whenever I realize I can't take another drink). Pot did give me a panic attack twice, though (I've since stopped doing it entirely, I never enjoyed it much anyways).

I had a chat about this with my psychiatrist (the expert on the meds not the talk kind).

How she explained it to me is that escitalopram has a life cycle of 30 hours. When you drink hard liquor with escitalopram the escitalopram wont get absorbed as it should due to the liver being allready over active both by the meds and the liquor. What i experienced a few times is many of the withdrawl symptosm that you get when cold turky stopping the meds. It actually makes a lot of sense after she explained it. So on the one hand you have issues , well i, with hard liquor getting way more stupidly drunk due to the meds and the same with withdrawl symptoms the day after.

As i said my solution is a)drinking less and b) allmost none hard liqueor just beer and wine.

Small adjustment, just as happy.

bigup

[indi]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression? I swear I lose all desire for anything during the winter months. Maybe I'm just experiencing a burnout from constant classwork over the last year and independent study for the last three months.

At any rate, trying to stay motivated and on course is a bitch. At least for me. I hardly enjoy anything, going to bars, playing pool, cards etc. Video games, nothing.
As many have already pointed out, you are far from the only one. I know for a fact that Philips has a range of products marketed to people who suffer from this problem.

My husband uses their 'wake up light' alarm clock, which simulates the light you would experience from a rising sun (you can adjust the light level) during a period of about 30 mins. It helps with a more energetic start of the day if you are sensitive to the lack of light in winter. If you are seriously affected you should probably look into a natural light lamp, etc.

[dstopia]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression? I swear I lose all desire for anything during the winter months. Maybe I'm just experiencing a burnout from constant classwork over the last year and independent study for the last three months.

Happens to me also. Dunno if it's directly related to lack of sunlight (we receive plenty of sunlight here in winter all the same, from 7 AM to 6 PM), but personally I think it's more on the cold weather. Not really sure.

[SAI Peregrinus]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression? I swear I lose all desire for anything during the winter months. Maybe I'm just experiencing a burnout from constant classwork over the last year and independent study for the last three months.

At any rate, trying to stay motivated and on course is a bitch. At least for me. I hardly enjoy anything, going to bars, playing pool, cards etc. Video games, nothing.

I get it in the summer, which is the opposite of normal. I deal very well with cold, not so well with heat. My eyes are quite sensitive to light, so sunny days tend to be painful without sunglasses. I tend to feel most alive at night when it's cool and dark.
Living in southern California = I feel consistently good maybe 2 weeks a year. Must. Get. Out.

[Spaztick]

Does anyone else feel they suffer from seasonal depression? I swear I lose all desire for anything during the winter months. Maybe I'm just experiencing a burnout from constant classwork over the last year and independent study for the last three months.

At any rate, trying to stay motivated and on course is a bitch. At least for me. I hardly enjoy anything, going to bars, playing pool, cards etc. Video games, nothing.

I get it in the summer, which is the opposite of normal. I deal very well with cold, not so well with heat. My eyes are quite sensitive to light, so sunny days tend to be painful without sunglasses. I tend to feel most alive at night when it's cool and dark.
Living in southern California = I feel consistently good maybe 2 weeks a year. Must. Get. Out.

http://guides.gamepressure.com/fallout3/gfx/word/894714234.jpg

[56k Lagman]

So I've spent my two days off work in bed, both times I just stayed in my bedroom until.. well now, approx 8-9pm each night, eating around 600 calories yesterday and again today. No motivation whatsoever to get out of bed at a normal time. I have wages I need to lodge, I will run out of money soon in my bank account but I dont really care. Wanted to go out with my camera into town and never bothered. It's my brother-in-laws birthday and I still have christmas presents for his kids that I haven't dropped over. Personal hygiene and any form of social behavior has gone out the window. welp welp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mask_of_Sanity
Also reading the above didnt help

[Sponk]

Ppl suffering depression are often emotionless too vov That's often why they do stupid things just to feel anything.

[Grendelfreak]

So I've spent my two days off work in bed, both times I just stayed in my bedroom until.. well now, approx 8-9pm each night, eating around 600 calories yesterday and again today. No motivation whatsoever to get out of bed at a normal time. I have wages I need to lodge, I will run out of money soon in my bank account but I dont really care. Wanted to go out with my camera into town and never bothered. It's my brother-in-laws birthday and I still have christmas presents for his kids that I haven't dropped over. Personal hygiene and any form of social behavior has gone out the window. welp welp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mask_of_Sanity
Also reading the above didnt help


I have nothing useful to contribute in particular but my first reaction to reading this was "Cheer up and stop being so depressed". This is despite (in spite?) being in a similar situation and knowing that this reaction doesn't help.

[Spaztick]

So I've spent my two days off work in bed, both times I just stayed in my bedroom until.. well now, approx 8-9pm each night, eating around 600 calories yesterday and again today. No motivation whatsoever to get out of bed at a normal time. I have wages I need to lodge, I will run out of money soon in my bank account but I dont really care. Wanted to go out with my camera into town and never bothered. It's my brother-in-laws birthday and I still have christmas presents for his kids that I haven't dropped over. Personal hygiene and any form of social behavior has gone out the window. welp welp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mask_of_Sanity
Also reading the above didnt help

Felt the same way today, I got over it but meh. 3AM and I feel meh still.

[Ophichius]

So I've spent my two days off work in bed, both times I just stayed in my bedroom until.. well now, approx 8-9pm each night, eating around 600 calories yesterday and again today. No motivation whatsoever to get out of bed at a normal time. I have wages I need to lodge, I will run out of money soon in my bank account but I dont really care. Wanted to go out with my camera into town and never bothered. It's my brother-in-laws birthday and I still have christmas presents for his kids that I haven't dropped over. Personal hygiene and any form of social behavior has gone out the window. welp welp
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mask_of_Sanity
Also reading the above didnt help

I've been in that general situation before, I found the biggest way to get back is not to focus on what you're doing/did in the last few days. Get out of your building, even if it's just to go sit on the stoop and listen to the city. Don't do it because it's some goal, just because it's something to do.

I tend to revert to that sort of behavior, what I call 'hermit mode' whenever my life's gone to hell, and I find it takes time to re-center things. Start easy, just getting out for a bit to change your scenery helps a lot. Find a library or a cafe where you can buy a cup of tea or borrow a book and sit a while.

There's a concept called Third Place (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place), that we need some place that's not work and not home. I find that having some place like that can help a lot, doesn't matter if it's a park, a cafe, a library, or a bench on the pier.

-O

[Mrenda]

I've been up all night, with my mind racing. This is all due to the fact that earlier today I said to someone, "Work is no longer fun." It's been a realisation that took a little time to sink in, but since I got back to work after Christmas the signs that I've been getting into bad habits and bad mental space have been there, and now that I think about it it's quite evident. I've been staying up later and later, despite getting more and more tired, just trying to put off the fall asleep/wake up and straight to work cycle. My concentration has gotten worse, when I started at the job I could spend a couple of hours on doing something well, now I have to struggle to stay involved with it. I'm still managing it but I'm becoming fearful of the work, I do the work but I don't engage with it to the best I know I can for fear of getting it wrong, failing or pissing off "the bosses", when deep down I know I should be arguing my corner and making the role my own, to the best I can. The lack of concentration has been ported over to other parts of my life, while during previous weekends I'd be out at night I'd still be getting up the next weekend morning and engaging with a game, a book, painting models, photography, going to the gym, etc., now I'm not really going out at night, sleeping until the late afternoon and then wandering the house not applying myself to anything. I've not been seeing my friends as often as I used, and not making the effort to see them either.

I don't know if it's the lack of urgency with the job at the moment. I don't know if it's my worries over the responsibility of getting up every day and having to do something properly. I don't know if it's even tedium in that there's no great challenge at the moment (and this ties into the lack of urgency.) It may even be that the previous week of busy-ness at work has tired me out. All in all, it's the exact same stuff that everyone else goes through every day of their life with a not-exhilarating job, and the pressures of real life on them. So I just need to tough it out. But when I start to spend the entire night awake, looking for anything to get me out of this situation, nerves and panic setting in, and worse of all my mind racing in a really agitated fashion, I need to sort myself out in some way, part of which is writing this out, in an effort to clear my head and hopefully by tonight or tomorrow morning I'll be feeling better. I just really fucking hate when I get like this, because this can be the start of a downward negative spiral.

Edit:

I'm still managing it but I'm becoming fearful of the work, I do the work but I don't engage with it to the best I know I can for fear of getting it wrong, failing or pissing off "the bosses", when deep down I know I should be arguing my corner and making the role my own, to the best I can.

Fuck, maybe it's even the opposite of this. Maybe I had my hopes set on the idea that this job would allow me to utilise what I know. To bring X years of education to bear on something in the real world, and now I'm realising that that's not the case. And I need to accept the fact that my education didn't prepare me for a working position at all: either it set me up with false confidence that what I learned is actually applicable to correct business practice, or that what I learned is correct business practice but simply not applicable to the realities of business. Maybe I'm having problems that really my responsibilities aren't to what I know or believe is best, but to something that although I believe them to be incorrect is none-the-less required by my position and is actually something that is more correct than what I previously believed. That basically I just need to shut the fuck up and do what I'm told, and not get invested in what I'm doing, because maybe what I'm already invested in is actually incorrect. That I need to learn the proper ways of doing things, and this is a slow learning process I'm simply not set up for. And maybe this is a bit of cognitive dissonance as the first step of unlearning/realising the truth of what really is needed in a real world situation.

Bah, fucking hell. I need to stop this introspective crap and get on with things. fuckshitbollox, aaargh.

[Daneel Trevize]

FWIW, you're not alone.

[Sponk]

Sounds like you need someone to bounce ideas off to see whether it's you, or the business.

A lot of ppl I know get stuck in their first job for years, unaware how bad it is because <job virgin>, then quit and join a not-terrible workplace and are all "holy shit I didn't know work could be like this". That's why I like my current gig as a freelance IT dev. I get to switch jobs every year without stigma, and stockpile the best ideas and processes from the places I've worked, so i can suggest improvements in the current workplace. When I get bored, I move on.

Also the pay.

[Selb]

a wealth of sound advice in this thread. certainly gives me a bit of perspective about how lucky i am with my situation, and how easily i can resolve my problems.

major :brofist: to those of you in difficulties past or present, and best wishes on getting things sorted.

[kzig]

A lot of ppl I know get stuck in their first job for years, unaware how bad it is because <job virgin>, then quit and join a not-terrible workplace and are all "holy shit I didn't know work could be like this".

As someone who is in this sort of situation (first job with very large organisation, approaching the 2-year mark), what sort of questions should I be asking? It took me a very long time to find it, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have got it. Even with the experience I've gained I doubt I'm that much more employable than I previously was, as a large part of it is highly specialised (about 6 other people out of an office of ~4000 would be able to do my job), so I'm extremely reluctant to consider moving.

[Sponk]

As someone who is in this sort of situation (first job with very large organisation, approaching the 2-year mark), what sort of questions should I be asking? It took me a very long time to find it, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have got it. Even with the experience I've gained I doubt I'm that much more employable than I previously was, as a large part of it is highly specialised (about 6 other people out of an office of ~4000 would be able to do my job), so I'm extremely reluctant to consider moving.

First job, two years in? That means that if you take a job you're qualified for but have no experience in, you're not much worse.

Compare that with someone who has, say, 15 years experience in X. If they swap roles, they must get something where they can use most of that experience or risk a substantial drop in pay. You, however, do not have this problem.

You have stayed 2 years which means you can leave or transfer without being accused of disloyalty or job-hopping. It also means you're in the power curve of your career so should be getting pay rises every year (and should continue doing so for the next three or four years). I don't know much about your industry, but where I am, the pay scales are like so:

noob: 50k
2 years: 60k, getting into the 'intermediate' level of skill
4 years: 67k.
6 years: 75k, justifiable chance of being a 'senior' level of skill, if you haven't sat on your ass.

Past that, you end up in management or go into contracting/consulting.

Your industry is probably pretty different, where perhaps years of service count more than experience (which is a shit situation to be in when you're a young gun) or maybe it's a law firm model where you do shit work for years to get a chance at making partner.

Either way, you have to evaluate whether what you're getting out of your employer is helpful or harmful to your

* career
* wallet
* mental health

Ive known many people (especially in large, relatively sluggish companies) who got comfortable in a cushy and unchallenging role and stayed around for a very long time - say 10 or 15 years or even more. They might have moved around internally a little, but it was mostly a case of "one year of experience 15 times over". If you stay at your current job for another three years, will you have another three years useful experience, or not?


some food for thought:

http://www.news.com.au/business/worklife/career-qa-when-is-it-time-to-quit/story-e6frfm9r-1226202749912

http://lancehaun.com/why-do-people-continue-working-for-bad-companies/ (just found this guy's blog. Seems good)

[L'oiseau]

I'd just like to say this thread helped prompt me to seek out help in regards to the mental issues I've been having over the course of the past 2 or so years. I'm a college student who's been on a slow decline, academically, and I finally decided enough was enough. I decided that a slow descent into hell wasn't what I wanted for myself and to become the better person I've always told myself that I wanted to be I had to break cycle.

I'll probably throw some more elaboration as I take the necessary steps to deal with it. I took the first one tonight by approaching 2 of my closest fraternity brothers and friends and seeking their aid and insight. One offered the help of some professionals he knows and the other is going start helping me in my studies.

That's all for now. As I said I'm going to post more throughout the coming weeks/months. Cheers for all the help in this thread and big ups to those facing the same challenges.

[Sponk]

big ups keep us posted.

[Shin_getter]

Man, I've been depressed since forever and its really quite boring by this point. Granted I'm currently at a personal low point (which can be reflected by my activities on the forums: I have more productive things to do otherwise) after changing environment to a non-English speaking country (its my native tongue, but I can't express more academic ideas with it, the post secondary vocab just isn't there) and cutting ties with familiar social groups as a result.

That said, on some level I no longer really understand the point of sharing experiences since there are more efficient means of information collection in most cases, and most personal problems is nothing unique, especially for something as common as depression experiences. (within certain self selecting groups) Perhaps that line of depersonalized thinking is a problem, but it stands and I don't feel like putting more info out.

Uncommon emotional status means my posting is based on exploring down very strange intuitions though....

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Man, I've been depressed since forever and its really quite boring by this point. Granted I'm currently at a personal low point (which can be reflected by my activities on the forums: I have more productive things to do otherwise) after changing environment to a non-English speaking country (its my native tongue, but I can't express more academic ideas with it, the post secondary vocab just isn't there) and cutting ties with familiar social groups as a result.

That said, on some level I no longer really understand the point of sharing experiences since there are more efficient means of information collection in most cases, and most personal problems is nothing unique, especially for something as common as depression experiences. (within certain self selecting groups) Perhaps that line of depersonalized thinking is a problem, but it stands and I don't feel like putting more info out.

Uncommon emotional status means my posting is based on exploring down very strange intuitions though....

When it comes to mental health, talking is the most efficient means of communication. What you're doing is trying to get someone else to understand what it's like to have that inner-voice bouncing around in your skull. There's no blood test or scan that can do that.

If you're feeling down, it doesn't have to be that way. But going on with life and just trying to deal with it on your own seems like a horrible waste of life when you could be living that same stretch of time with a more sunny disposition. And there's something to be said about being less in the dumps attracts less in the dumps experiences. So the self-pity and wallowing is only dragging you down further.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

I'd just like to say this thread helped prompt me to seek out help in regards to the mental issues I've been having over the course of the past 2 or so years. I'm a college student who's been on a slow decline, academically, and I finally decided enough was enough. I decided that a slow descent into hell wasn't what I wanted for myself and to become the better person I've always told myself that I wanted to be I had to break cycle.

I'll probably throw some more elaboration as I take the necessary steps to deal with it. I took the first one tonight by approaching 2 of my closest fraternity brothers and friends and seeking their aid and insight. One offered the help of some professionals he knows and the other is going start helping me in my studies.

That's all for now. As I said I'm going to post more throughout the coming weeks/months. Cheers for all the help in this thread and big ups to those facing the same challenges.

Big ups mate.

The best comparison for how it is to live with chronic cyclic depression is drug addiction. If you keep at it, it's very manageable and as more time passes the easier it is for you to handle the little slips so they don't turn into big slips. And a lot of the experiences of the two are similar, you get a big rush and good feelings that you're getting things under control. The hard bit is two weeks to six months. Just remember that people do this everyday and we should accept that we won't 100% all of the time, but being 70% most of the time is better than being 10% or worse 0% for eternity.

[L'oiseau]

I'd just like to say this thread helped prompt me to seek out help in regards to the mental issues I've been having over the course of the past 2 or so years. I'm a college student who's been on a slow decline, academically, and I finally decided enough was enough. I decided that a slow descent into hell wasn't what I wanted for myself and to become the better person I've always told myself that I wanted to be I had to break cycle.

I'll probably throw some more elaboration as I take the necessary steps to deal with it. I took the first one tonight by approaching 2 of my closest fraternity brothers and friends and seeking their aid and insight. One offered the help of some professionals he knows and the other is going start helping me in my studies.

That's all for now. As I said I'm going to post more throughout the coming weeks/months. Cheers for all the help in this thread and big ups to those facing the same challenges.

Big ups mate.

The best comparison for how it is to live with chronic cyclic depression is drug addiction. If you keep at it, it's very manageable and as more time passes the easier it is for you to handle the little slips so they don't turn into big slips. And a lot of the experiences of the two are similar, you get a big rush and good feelings that you're getting things under control. The hard bit is two weeks to six months. Just remember that people do this everyday and we should accept that we won't 100% all of the time, but being 70% most of the time is better than being 10% or worse 0% for eternity.
Just an update.

Today I had a couple minor instances pop up, but nothing to the point I that felt like I wanted to baww my eyes up. I've begun (and actually have been for the past few weeks) to try to note the parameters associated with it. Notably if I'm home, by myself, and haven't gone out or am up real late does it get to the point that I feel like just giving up on everything and some real nasty thoughts start cropping into my head. I'm also starting to note a constant pressure or gravity of depression. Nothing major, but it always seems to be hanging on and waiting for something to trigger the bigger bouts.

Talking with my brothers last night has helped me not feel as helpless in regards to handling the situation. I mentioned the "gravity" before and feel like the bit of hope and relief of pressure I gained from talking to them has started to counteract it to some degree. However, I do still need to seek out a professional for some psychological and physiological evaluations.

[Sponk]

I've begun (and actually have been for the past few weeks) to try to note the parameters associated with it. Notably if I'm home, by myself, and haven't gone out or am up real late does it get to the point that I feel like just giving up on everything and some real nasty thoughts start cropping into my head.

This is why a common treatment for signs of depression is to ask ppl to come over and drag you out of your house and do stuff. Breaks you out of your rut, and gives you a reason to wake up and put on clothes.

[Raine Woot]

Sounds like how I felt when my roommate was gone for 2 weeks, found out I was actually really unhappy living alone despite thinking of myself as a loner for many years. It's amazing how a little human contact can lift you right out of it, if that is indeed the cause.

[L'oiseau]

Sounds like how I felt when my roommate was gone for 2 weeks, found out I was actually really unhappy living alone despite thinking of myself as a loner for many years. It's amazing how a little human contact can lift you right out of it, if that is indeed the cause.
Part of this for me is that I'm monumentally terrible at asking for help. I've got myself so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I sometimes forget I can simply call someone for help in regards to just about anything. And I brought this up Sunday evening and decided to handle it partially on Monday by going to my friend's house to study. With the added benefit of them being able to help me out if I had any questions or problems.

[Phrixus Zephyr]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

[indi]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

Disclaimer: not even going to *attempt* to diagnose you, because I have no qualifications and I don't know you.

What you describe reminds me of a friend of mine. He was also affected by nearly terminal "I find everything interesting", but I have no idea if that applies to you or not. If you'd asked me (and here you see why you shouldn't), I would have thought he had a smidgen of something manic. Turns out that later, after eventually flaking out of uni and not following through on several interesting jobs, he was firmly diagnosed with ADD and medicated. Not something he was immediately in favour of (or even something he believed), but suddenly he had a handle on his procrastination, etc. Moral of the story: sometimes you need to get a grip, man up and fucking do stuff or quit trying. SOmetimes, this might be a symptom of something else. I don't want to give you an 'excuse' to not get your stuff together even more, but perhaps you need to explore the possibility of an underlying problem with a professional?

Anyway, wish you the best and hope you get it sorted.

[Equium Duo]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

Sad five meight. I got this bad.

I know I have to do something and I just cant be fucked to do it. The fucker is that when I do something I'm all 'fuck yeah' but that feeling isn't enough to motivate me to carry on and/or follow through and do more stuff. I dunno. I even want to stop writing this post. lol. The weird thing is that this can even apply to games I play. Example: I have a way to print money in generic space MMO. Can;t be arsed. Sit there idling and talking a bit browsing forums etc.

The fucking absolute worst part of it has manifested recently (in the last 2-3 months) and that is my inability to just leave the PC at night and go to bed. I get completely sucked into websites like 9gag and fukung.net. Holy shit I can lose hours and hours into that. Fuck I even do it when I play world of tanks. I really wish I could do something about it but haha! IRONY OVERLOAD, Can't Be Arsed.

Latest mental issues has been in-explicable psychotic rage. To the tune I want to puke because I'm so angry. It's is unreal I'm totally and completely overwhelmed with rage lately. It's actually bothering me quite a lot. I'm angry at work, at home in the car. Everywhere! Raging a little right now thinking about it :3

[Sponk]

Depression can sometimes manifest as anger. Friend of my dads had that. Almost ruined his life because :too angry to get treatment:

[Phrixus Zephyr]

The weird thing is that this can even apply to games I play. Example: I have a way to print money in generic space MMO. Can;t be arsed. Sit there idling and talking a bit browsing forums etc.
Fucking snap.

List of games i have finished in the last... years. GTA:SA. Deus Ex, Mass Effect 1 & 2.
List of games i couldn't be bothered finishing or kept restarting as a different class/options (grass is greener...) so ended up replaying the first quarter of the game 3,4,5 times. Witcher. Dragon Age 1&2. Fall Out 1, 2, 3, NV. Oblivion. Skyrim. SPAZ. Bastion. Arkham Asylum. Braid. GTA 3, 4. Magika.. etc etc etc

:|

[Equium Duo]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

[Grendelfreak]

Last couple of weeks something strange has been happening. While I have generally been in a good mood (reasonable chance of getting a supervisor job) I have been feeling tired physically and I am having trouble getting to sleep, usually not falling asleep until 2.30-3am. And to top it off the last few days I have been hearing things while trying to sleep or having just woken up. It is usually sounds like the Nokia ringtone or hearing "someone" say my name or a nickname.

A quick google showed that auditory hallucinations while sleepy are fairly normal but apart from "corner of the eye" hallucinations when pulling an all-nighter to write an essay this hasn't happened to me before and I don't know why it has suddenly started.

[XenosisReaper]

As somebody who hasn't (naturally, ie not drunk/drugged) slept more than 3/4 hours a night for 6 years, that sounds exactly what I do.

It's pretty shit when they only way I have of getting a decent nights sleep is to drink every night.

[Sacul]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

Yes having dealt with many such people i can clearly see how your situation is shoped i can tell by the amounts of bullshit details you put in yourpost. Thnx tho

[Sacul]

As somebody who hasn't (naturally, ie not drunk/drugged) slept more than 3/4 hours a night for 6 years, that sounds exactly what I do.

It's pretty shit when they only way I have of getting a decent nights sleep is to drink every night.

Having been a victim of not going to sleep without enough booz for several years myself i can only say mr. raper! cut that shit out! nosrsly i sleep a average of 5h a night and i know that with alcohol you sleep way more but the sleep intensity and duration dont match at all (or maybe you should say quality idk).

In any case its very very detrimental in the long run and go and try melotonin pills or temp ~pams type of pills. The booz/sleep cycle will just make it worse and best to break the cycle now! (or soon)

i did in 2007/2008 and it was hard but im glad i did

[SAI Peregrinus]

As somebody who hasn't (naturally, ie not drunk/drugged) slept more than 3/4 hours a night for 6 years, that sounds exactly what I do.

It's pretty shit when they only way I have of getting a decent nights sleep is to drink every night.

Having been a victim of not going to sleep without enough booz for several years myself i can only say mr. raper! cut that shit out! nosrsly i sleep a average of 5h a night and i know that with alcohol you sleep way more but the sleep intensity and duration dont match at all (or maybe you should say quality idk).

In any case its very very detrimental in the long run and go and try melotonin pills or temp ~pams type of pills. The booz/sleep cycle will just make it worse and best to break the cycle now! (or soon)

i did in 2007/2008 and it was hard but im glad i did

I've had insomnia problems for years, and finally figured out a way to go to sleep easily.

DO NOT MOVE. Find a position. It won't be totally comfortable, and that's ok. Stay completely still except for slow breathing. Sleep will come rather quickly, it's never taken me more than half an hour since I figured this out. Sleeping pills always woke me up. Not moving lets me sleep.

[I Legionnaire]

Not trying to be snide here, but do you guys that have trouble sleeping live a sedentary lifestyle? If so, it'd probably help to go for a jog/gym at some point in the day.

[Diicc Tater]

Good thread +rep.

I've managed to overcome panic attacks. Used to get them at an early age, first I remember is at 6 years old. At 10 I would recognize them and deal with them by riding them out by self isolation.
I don't really know how I got to that point however, I think it was after watching Dune out of all things. That pain box got to me. The attacks were kinda like the illusion of pain, panic and discomfort. Seems stupid but that's what the 10 yo me got out of Dune.
I can get a hint of them now when I have a heavy migraine attack. But dealing with that goes the same way so I manage.

Anyway, that's a minor thing to my bestest buddys problem.
involuntary anorexia, severe anxiety, depression
probably because of too much work and to high expectations/pressure from his dad and by himself.

Dude has been totally stressed out and heavily medicated.
I don't remember what pills he's on but the least of the side effects are: shaking hands, skittish movement, spasms, sweating, problem with articulation etc.
Worst I've seen him tho was when I went to stay over at his place just to hang out and catch up.
In the middle of the night I wake up because I hear voices. It's him, talking to himself... in two voices.
I can't remember the topic but it results in him getting dressed and heads out the door. I ask him what he's up to.. "gonna go get some pizza, bit hungry".
So he's back in 20 minutes with a pizza and he sits down and eat half. Then he goes back to the "dialog" mode about how to best store it for tomorrow. He does some dishes, brushes his teeth and goes back to bed. I try to talk to him a few times but he's ignoring me. When he went to get the pizza he was somewhat responsive. When he got back he was in über-sleepwalk-mode.
When I ask him about it the next day he's got no memory of it at all. He even asked me when I went and got that pizza.

He's said that the pills help a bit to keep appetite up, get him to sleep and dampen the anxiety. But he feels that the therapy sessions have done the most good and that it wouldn't have gotten better without the two in combination. He also appreciates that I've told him to feel free to talk to me about it but that I won't bring it up when we hang out. He felt that it was good to just chill without having to worry about "the shit".

[Sacul]

Not trying to be snide here, but do you guys that have trouble sleeping live a sedentary lifestyle? If so, it'd probably help to go for a jog/gym at some point in the day.

I run and most people i know who have the same issues do aswell. In general excercise is a great way to get the dopamine going. Having sex before sleeping also helps (not to be funny but when i was younger it didnt i would just go all hyperactive now that my metabolism changed, guess i was 28 when that started, it actually relaxes me and im le sleepy after).

I also sometimes take combination meds for sleeping, my biggest problem isnt going to sleep its staying a sleep.

@diic
The stuff your friends has sounds like he is on some serious meds like heavy dose lithium. My experience from the professional side is that people who have such side effects are the ones under heavy treatment in a institution (doesnt have to be a closed ward tho) and not out and about still working with those side-effects.

As i said before most of the times its just enough to be there for somebody like you are doing for your friend "to just chill without having to worry about "the shit".

bigup

[ufk]

Can't believe I've not seen this thread before.
I've been taking an SSRI, Fluoxetine, and seeing a therapist for the best part of a year now, I've suffered ups and downs for years but in April last year I realised that I had a problem and talked to a friend who has suffered from depression and now works as a volunteer at a mental health institution. It's the best thing I ever did, the worst thing about mental illness is that it still has a social stigma which for me made it very hard to even think about talking to someone, being a typical bloke who won't even phone the Dr's for an appointment unless he's dying.

What has surprised me is how supportive my friends and family have been, my relationships with them are stronger than ever now, mostly because I'm not a arsey, short tempered twat anymore.

It's good to know you're not alone, and I would encourage anyone who feels that they may be suffering from depression etc to talk to someone about it, it's liberating to get it off your chest.

[kyrieee]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

I'm kind of like that too, but mostly with school work. If there's no mandatory element to a class except the exam then I'll do nothing the entire semester and then study like 2-3 days before the exam. When I get started I have no problem studying for hours and hours, I'm just so bad at getting started. I'll literally F5 web pages instead of doing anything. The only time I wasn't like that was when I just started uni and actually had a social life, then I had no problem studying. Right now I have absolutely 0 social life and I don't even know how to begin fixing it.

edit: fun example of procrastination.
Last year in highschool, we had to do a big project. We had A YEAR to do it. What I did was I spent 48 hours straight writing in word during the last 2 days.

Might be off topic but it's kind of a mental thing. My problem with meeting people / keeping relationships going is just that I don't like to trouble other people, so I hardly ever take any initiative because I feel like I'm troubling other people by doing that. For example, not calling someone up asking them if they want to do x because I don't want them to yes even if they don't really want to. Obviously, if you never contact people yourself you eventually lose contact with them. Well, by now I've already lost contact with everyone so the bigger problem is meeting new people.

Re. depression, if I had to guess I could probably be diagnosed with depression for the past decade, but that feels like blaming your own behaviour on something else. I mean, I never feel like doing anything ever and I actually find anything fun, have had problems with anxiety since highschool and even though I would never killmyself (I know myself well enough) I think about it a lot. Especially spontaneously exploding in front of other people haha. I'm going to start working out though, that usually helps mental health I find. Gives you energy at least. If I wasn't living with my parents I'm pretty sure I'd turn into an alcoholic asap. I feel so self pitying writing this :d hate it.


I've had insomnia problems for years, and finally figured out a way to go to sleep easily.

DO NOT MOVE. Find a position. It won't be totally comfortable, and that's ok. Stay completely still except for slow breathing. Sleep will come rather quickly, it's never taken me more than half an hour since I figured this out. Sleeping pills always woke me up. Not moving lets me sleep.

My tip is, actively try to dispel all thoughts from your head. As soon as you realize you're thinking about something, just focus on your breathing. That helps me anyway.

[Equium Duo]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

Yes having dealt with many such people i can clearly see how your situation is shoped i can tell by the amounts of bullshit details you put in yourpost. Thnx tho

WTF is this about? Why are you being such a dick?

[XenosisReaper]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

Yes having dealt with many such people i can clearly see how your situation is shoped i can tell by the amounts of bullshit details you put in yourpost. Thnx tho

WTF is this about? Why are you being such a dick?

>random moodswings
>sacul

[cheeba]

For those of you who suffer from an inability to do anything and lethargy - there are a million different reasons why that might be.

But to suggest a potential fix/help, do your own research on the potential benefits of selfmedicating with modafinil (brandname: provigil). Its a prescription med but can be obtained easily online in its generic form (modalert).

[Sacul]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

Yes having dealt with many such people i can clearly see how your situation is shoped i can tell by the amounts of bullshit details you put in yourpost. Thnx tho

WTF is this about? Why are you being such a dick?

>random moodswings
>sacul

Nope.

When reading Equium's post my bullshit detector went off.

If not then well equium i apologize but your wording and tone......well.

[Kransthow]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

Yes having dealt with many such people i can clearly see how your situation is shoped i can tell by the amounts of bullshit details you put in yourpost. Thnx tho

WTF is this about? Why are you being such a dick?

>random moodswings
>sacul

Nope.

When reading Equium's post my bullshit detector went off.

If not then well equium i apologize but your wording and tone......well.
http://1bi.us/chq
Sperging at people because you think they might be lying in a thread for helping people with their mental health.

You might want to think that through again.

[Sacul]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

Yes having dealt with many such people i can clearly see how your situation is shoped i can tell by the amounts of bullshit details you put in yourpost. Thnx tho

WTF is this about? Why are you being such a dick?

>random moodswings
>sacul

Nope.

When reading Equium's post my bullshit detector went off.

If not then well equium i apologize but your wording and tone......well.
http://1bi.us/chq
Sperging at people because you think they might be lying in a thread for helping people with their mental health.

You might want to think that through again.

Seeing what i just posted me thinks thats exactly what i did.

[Kransthow]

In a serious miserable cunt / epic rage mood for the last few days. I have a viral chest infection which is probably not helping and is leaving me out of breath quite a bit. I dunno.

I want to tear peoples arms off and use it to smash up the place.

I also forgot to mention this. But I had a dream a few weeks ago whereby i killed a work colleague slowly and methodically at work. I remember it vividly and there was zero emotion. I just did it. Cold. I was a little disturbed when i woke up. It's been playing on my mind for a while.

Yes having dealt with many such people i can clearly see how your situation is shoped i can tell by the amounts of bullshit details you put in yourpost. Thnx tho

WTF is this about? Why are you being such a dick?

>random moodswings
>sacul

Nope.

When reading Equium's post my bullshit detector went off.

If not then well equium i apologize but your wording and tone......well.
http://1bi.us/chq
Sperging at people because you think they might be lying in a thread for helping people with their mental health.

You might want to think that through again.

Seeing what i just posted me thinks thats exactly what i did.
sometimes i herp a derp

[XenosisReaper]

sometimes

In other news, night nurse does bad bad things to my sleep cycle.

I might die, again.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Quit the shit talking. This is not the emo thread.

[L'oiseau]

Mini-Update:

Finally ventured to the counselor yesterday (they were booked these past 2 weeks). Managed to drop off a lot mental and emotional load via filling in my backstory for the guy. Academics was the big issue we came up with and we concluded if I had those sorted out then I'd be a lot better offer mentally. He offered to act as a coach of sorts and told me I probably just need to buckle down and exploit every last resource I've got to help me out. We also ended up coming to the conclusion that all my perceived "mental issues" (Depression, anxiety, etc.) might not be causes but more than likely symptoms of my current state of affairs.

Overall I walked out surprisingly disappointed. I'd gone in thinking it would be this magical cure and revelation. On further thought, however, I can appreciate what I gained from the session. It helped to reaffirm what others have been telling me and what I've been telling myself. I've had this do minimal work for maximum pleasure mentality going on for the longest time but I think I just need to buckle down and act on what everyone's been telling me. In essence I need to start focusing on my end goal of finishing college and start to reevaluate my priorities in life.

Another thing I noted is that later on I realized that I might not be as fucked up in the head as I thought. Which gave me the strangest feeling of relief.

That's all I've got for now. I've got another appointment scheduled 2 weeks from now. I'll report back anymore insights.

[indi]

Mini-Update:

Finally ventured to the counselor yesterday (they were booked these past 2 weeks). Managed to drop off a lot mental and emotional load via filling in my backstory for the guy. Academics was the big issue we came up with and we concluded if I had those sorted out then I'd be a lot better offer mentally. He offered to act as a coach of sorts and told me I probably just need to buckle down and exploit every last resource I've got to help me out. We also ended up coming to the conclusion that all my perceived "mental issues" (Depression, anxiety, etc.) might not be causes but more than likely symptoms of my current state of affairs.

Overall I walked out surprisingly disappointed. I'd gone in thinking it would be this magical cure and revelation. On further thought, however, I can appreciate what I gained from the session. It helped to reaffirm what others have been telling me and what I've been telling myself. I've had this do minimal work for maximum pleasure mentality going on for the longest time but I think I just need to buckle down and act on what everyone's been telling me. In essence I need to start focusing on my end goal of finishing college and start to reevaluate my priorities in life.

Another thing I noted is that later on I realized that I might not be as fucked up in the head as I thought. Which gave me the strangest feeling of relief.

That's all I've got for now. I've got another appointment scheduled 2 weeks from now. I'll report back anymore insights.

I had a lot of issues with writing my master's thesis. I'll avoid going into them, but I joined a support group (sponsored by the university and chaired by a psychologist) of people in a similar situation. It affected all of us differently, causing some to sleep up to 16 hours a day and others to lose themselves in perfectionism so badly that they couldn't put a word on paper. What helped me (and what I took away from all of it) was to set goals for myself that I could achieve, even if they were pitifully small at first. So don't tell yourself to "do all the coursework for course X on monday" but start with "do 1 hour of coursework for course X on monday". It'll make you feel good about yourself (unmet goals make you feel VERY shit about yourself) and baby step by baby step, you'll get it done. You have to be hard on yourself, because it's work. If you are too hard on yourself, you might set yourself up for failure and that might lead to "I can't do it" later down the road. Sadly no magical revelation or cure, just an approach to buckling down and doing stuff. However it works out for you, best of luck and good vibes :-)

PS Another thing I learned from that group is that everyone has at least one "mental problem" that shows up under stress. Depression, insomnia, obsessive compulsive behaviour, you name it. All in all, there is no such thing as 'normal', so go on feeling relieved.

[L'oiseau]

Mini-Update:

Finally ventured to the counselor yesterday (they were booked these past 2 weeks). Managed to drop off a lot mental and emotional load via filling in my backstory for the guy. Academics was the big issue we came up with and we concluded if I had those sorted out then I'd be a lot better offer mentally. He offered to act as a coach of sorts and told me I probably just need to buckle down and exploit every last resource I've got to help me out. We also ended up coming to the conclusion that all my perceived "mental issues" (Depression, anxiety, etc.) might not be causes but more than likely symptoms of my current state of affairs.

Overall I walked out surprisingly disappointed. I'd gone in thinking it would be this magical cure and revelation. On further thought, however, I can appreciate what I gained from the session. It helped to reaffirm what others have been telling me and what I've been telling myself. I've had this do minimal work for maximum pleasure mentality going on for the longest time but I think I just need to buckle down and act on what everyone's been telling me. In essence I need to start focusing on my end goal of finishing college and start to reevaluate my priorities in life.

Another thing I noted is that later on I realized that I might not be as fucked up in the head as I thought. Which gave me the strangest feeling of relief.

That's all I've got for now. I've got another appointment scheduled 2 weeks from now. I'll report back anymore insights.

I had a lot of issues with writing my master's thesis. I'll avoid going into them, but I joined a support group (sponsored by the university and chaired by a psychologist) of people in a similar situation. It affected all of us differently, causing some to sleep up to 16 hours a day and others to lose themselves in perfectionism so badly that they couldn't put a word on paper. What helped me (and what I took away from all of it) was to set goals for myself that I could achieve, even if they were pitifully small at first. So don't tell yourself to "do all the coursework for course X on monday" but start with "do 1 hour of coursework for course X on monday". It'll make you feel good about yourself (unmet goals make you feel VERY shit about yourself) and baby step by baby step, you'll get it done. You have to be hard on yourself, because it's work. If you are too hard on yourself, you might set yourself up for failure and that might lead to "I can't do it" later down the road. Sadly no magical revelation or cure, just an approach to buckling down and doing stuff. However it works out for you, best of luck and good vibes :-)

PS Another thing I learned from that group is that everyone has at least one "mental problem" that shows up under stress. Depression, insomnia, obsessive compulsive behaviour, you name it. All in all, there is no such thing as 'normal', so go on feeling relieved.
Thanks for the reply.

It's a strange feeling to think that I've told myself and have been told that I need to do these things (time management, study groups, priority management) throughout the last year or so of my life and even before then. The reason it's strange is because I'm finally realizing "Oh shit this is real life." and I that I need to stop taking these thing for granted and stop using them as some sort of satisfactory phrase to throw around and comfort myself.

[Sacul]

Mini-Update:

Finally ventured to the counselor yesterday (they were booked these past 2 weeks). Managed to drop off a lot mental and emotional load via filling in my backstory for the guy. Academics was the big issue we came up with and we concluded if I had those sorted out then I'd be a lot better offer mentally. He offered to act as a coach of sorts and told me I probably just need to buckle down and exploit every last resource I've got to help me out. We also ended up coming to the conclusion that all my perceived "mental issues" (Depression, anxiety, etc.) might not be causes but more than likely symptoms of my current state of affairs.

Overall I walked out surprisingly disappointed. I'd gone in thinking it would be this magical cure and revelation. On further thought, however, I can appreciate what I gained from the session. It helped to reaffirm what others have been telling me and what I've been telling myself. I've had this do minimal work for maximum pleasure mentality going on for the longest time but I think I just need to buckle down and act on what everyone's been telling me. In essence I need to start focusing on my end goal of finishing college and start to reevaluate my priorities in life.

Another thing I noted is that later on I realized that I might not be as fucked up in the head as I thought. Which gave me the strangest feeling of relief.

That's all I've got for now. I've got another appointment scheduled 2 weeks from now. I'll report back anymore insights.

I had a lot of issues with writing my master's thesis. I'll avoid going into them, but I joined a support group (sponsored by the university and chaired by a psychologist) of people in a similar situation. It affected all of us differently, causing some to sleep up to 16 hours a day and others to lose themselves in perfectionism so badly that they couldn't put a word on paper. What helped me (and what I took away from all of it) was to set goals for myself that I could achieve, even if they were pitifully small at first. So don't tell yourself to "do all the coursework for course X on monday" but start with "do 1 hour of coursework for course X on monday". It'll make you feel good about yourself (unmet goals make you feel VERY shit about yourself) and baby step by baby step, you'll get it done. You have to be hard on yourself, because it's work. If you are too hard on yourself, you might set yourself up for failure and that might lead to "I can't do it" later down the road. Sadly no magical revelation or cure, just an approach to buckling down and doing stuff. However it works out for you, best of luck and good vibes :-)

PS Another thing I learned from that group is that everyone has at least one "mental problem" that shows up under stress. Depression, insomnia, obsessive compulsive behaviour, you name it. All in all, there is no such thing as 'normal', so go on feeling relieved.

prolly the first time i agree with indi but yeah what she said.

I know reading that sounds like a 'duhhh yes ofcourse i aint a monkey' but it is actually much harder to achieve and more important incorporate in your psyche.

[Jason Marshall]

Prozack causing all sorts of fucked up side effects leading to my withdrawl from society and general paranoia. Doctor took me off on friday waiting to hear what im starting next, 4 days of withdrawls led me to hit the bottle that only helped in the short term. FUCK MY BRAIN WHY DO I DO THIS,

[Cortess]

From time to time i feel like just breaking down and cry. Well happened only once slightly so far ... yet i still have the feeling that i'll never accomplish anything in my life and almost noone would miss me.

[Sparq]

Prozack causing all sorts of fucked up side effects leading to my withdrawl from society and general paranoia. Doctor took me off on friday waiting to hear what im starting next, 4 days of withdrawls led me to hit the bottle that only helped in the short term. FUCK MY BRAIN WHY DO I DO THIS,If I was there bro, I'd offer you a hug. :companioncube:

[Sacul]

Prozack causing all sorts of fucked up side effects leading to my withdrawl from society and general paranoia. Doctor took me off on friday waiting to hear what im starting next, 4 days of withdrawls led me to hit the bottle that only helped in the short term. FUCK MY BRAIN WHY DO I DO THIS,

Meight when on withdrawl symptoms booz can be p. dangerous. Due to the simple fact your liver is having a bang aswell as your kidneys.

Dont know what you are drinking but srsly watch out.

Why also use such a gawdawefull med like fluoxetine? There are far better meds out there not invented in the fuckin '70s

[Sparq]

Why also use such a gawdawefull med like fluoxetine? There are far better meds out there not invented in the fuckin '70sObviously, modern medicine is too mainstream. Prozac is vintage mood altering. 8-)

[Sponk]

From time to time i feel like just breaking down and cry. Well happened only once slightly so far ... yet i still have the feeling that i'll never accomplish anything in my life and almost noone would miss me.

Elaborate?

[ufk]

Why also use such a gawdawefull med like fluoxetine? There are far better meds out there not invented in the fuckin '70sObviously, modern medicine is too mainstream. Prozac is vintage mood altering. 8-)

It works for some of us :P

Meant to start cutting down my dosage in the next few weeks, not really looking forward to that as my world just collapsed, been made redundant & up to my eyeballs in debt that I can no longer afford to pay, oh well at least I've now got the opportunity of fucking off a ton of debt by having a debt reduction order or a bankruptcy order placed.

[Sacul]

Why also use such a gawdawefull med like fluoxetine? There are far better meds out there not invented in the fuckin '70sObviously, modern medicine is too mainstream. Prozac is vintage mood altering. 8-)

It works for some of us :P

Meant to start cutting down my dosage in the next few weeks, not really looking forward to that as my world just collapsed, been made redundant & up to my eyeballs in debt that I can no longer afford to pay, oh well at least I've now got the opportunity of fucking off a ton of debt by having a debt reduction order or a bankruptcy order placed.

:brofist:

Start selling eve assets ;)

On prozac:
Im sure it works for some as i read on the wiki page that 24 million people a day seem to use it but if i just compare the oldschool ssri's and new gen especially 2. points, 1. general sideeffects and 2. withdrawl symptoms it really is the difference between 4 pages long and 1 page long in summary. The difference in general effectivness is still up for debate tho so i agree on that.

[Jason Marshall]

The choice of Prozzac was a monetary one.

Changing up the brand after the withdrawls are done, I guess ill splurge for the 25 dollar co-pay on whatever is next, lesson learned.

Last time I take medical advice from a punk-rock band.

[Chrien]

This is a really amazing thread.
I've struggled with depression since I hit adulthood. I don't really know what caused it, I moved back to Australia from overseas for uni (with parents etc) so had very few friends and I guess I'm an introvert so I don't make friendships easily. Anyway during second year at uni my parents split up, it wasn't a dramatic "we're splitting up" moment, but it just sort of happened. In hindsight I guess it was the lack of a supporting network, my friends for high school were living all over the world so I wasn't in contact, at the same stage my older brother who I've always been close to moved out of home to live with his girl friend. I started skipping class and not turning up to study at all, which led to inevitable fails and a general spiral as in my mind one fail after another compounded on one another. I hid from the world in MMOs, I thought seriously about suicide on and off for a year. I never actually tried to do anything, which is probably a good and bad thing. If I'd tried and failed I probably would have gotten the help I needed then rather than having to go through a prolonged period of depression. I lied about my fails to my family and told everyone I had graduated then bummed around in casual/part time employment which I hated on and off for the next few years. I was significantly overweight, had no self-confidence etc etc

Change is gradual, I think it probably started when I was honest with my brother about my uni stuff, in retrospect I think everyone knew I had failed but people are very good at self-deception and I'm not different. Anyways being honest was really important, I started to look at what I wanted to change in my life so I really tried to be more positive about things. At school I was always a very positive person but depression obviously gets you down and you find the negatives in everything. I also started exercising and droped 20kg in 6 months. All this compounded on top of one another, just like the negative stuff did but in reverse. So now about 2 years on from turning the corner I'm in my last year of studies, my grades are excellent and I'm in the process of applying for graduate positions when my studies finish at the end of this year.

I still have my down moments and they can throw me off for a couple of days and I probably need to be more proactive in coming up with some stategies to minimise their impact and I'm still introverted, I can count on one hand the number of people I'd consider friends, but they're all close friends who I can talk about nearly anything with and I trust them implictly.

So I guess I'm not so much a case of personality being the cause of my problems but rather circumstances, well I don't know. I do wonder how things would be different if instead of hiding from my problems I'd gone and sort help but I don't regret it anymore because thats negative and isn't going to change anything.

[Cortess]

From time to time i feel like just breaking down and cry. Well happened only once slightly so far ... yet i still have the feeling that i'll never accomplish anything in my life and almost noone would miss me.

Elaborate?

I wanted to, but reading the stuff others go or went through, it's pretty minor.

tl/dr: I fail at life. No friends to speak of. No achievments to speak of. No self-esteem. No experiences to speak of. Foreveralone. Not fat though, but to skinny.
Unsure if topic of bachelorthesis is the right thing.



But the first paragraph of chrien pretty much goes the same for me.

I was always more of an introvert or socially akward ... i don't know. Hanging out with my uncle (more of a brother, he is also not much older than me) and his friends is fine ... talking about anything. But i don't really want to hang out all day with ppl who just smoke pot (and other things) all day especially since i don't smoke at all.
I never had much friends to begin with and those are now all gone (moved, married, etc.). Only one is left who i see maybe once a month.
I also played mmos ... wow, eve, now a bit of sto.

At the moment i'm doing my bachelorthesis in a company. The topic doesn't exactly fit my courses, but isn't to difficult. I don't have a problem doing the work, but i worry a bit about writing it down so i get enough sites for my thesis.
Though if i am at work, i feel fine. The doubts then come at home and at night, so that i can't sleep. I think i'm down to 5 hours sleep per day till the weekend.

(Additionaly the story with the girl i wanted to know better ... some may remember my posts in the emo-thread.
After some messaging, she wrote a mail that she isn't interested in a "romantic" relation yet and she wants to be honest about things like this. She wants to know people for a good while before anything more. So i thought: Ok, having a new friend (and just friend) is ok too, i don't have that much time anyway. Few mails later she mentions she has a boyfriend ... so much about honesty ... )

But it's not this alone ... it's the subtle pressure from some close family-members over a long time ("I'm proud of you", "you will do good one day" ... i'm sure you heard it all). It maybe got into my head and i pressure myself with it. But often i just see that i am NOT good. I did not fail any course yet, but i know i somehow meagerly got through. Now I know nothing anymore. I'm not sure if this is the way i want to go. ...

What i want? Freedom and someone to share my time with. Sometime i think i just should go grab all my money, buy a worn down camper and drive cross europe. But then i don't want to do it alone. And there is this pressure of "need of having a job". I'm not that young anymore.

[Jason Marshall]

From time to time i feel like just breaking down and cry. Well happened only once slightly so far ... yet i still have the feeling that i'll never accomplish anything in my life and almost noone would miss me.

Elaborate?

I wanted to, but reading the stuff others go or went through, it's pretty minor.

tl/dr: I fail at life. No friends to speak of. No achievments to speak of. No self-esteem. No experiences to speak of. Foreveralone. Not fat though, but to skinny.
Unsure if topic of bachelorthesis is the right thing.



But the first paragraph of chrien pretty much goes the same for me.

I was always more of an introvert or socially akward ... i don't know. Hanging out with my uncle (more of a brother, he is also not much older than me) and his friends is fine ... talking about anything. But i don't really want to hang out all day with ppl who just smoke pot (and other things) all day especially since i don't smoke at all.
I never had much friends to begin with and those are now all gone (moved, married, etc.). Only one is left who i see maybe once a month.
I also played mmos ... wow, eve, now a bit of sto.

At the moment i'm doing my bachelorthesis in a company. The topic doesn't exactly fit my courses, but isn't to difficult. I don't have a problem doing the work, but i worry a bit about writing it down so i get enough sites for my thesis.
Though if i am at work, i feel fine. The doubts then come at home and at night, so that i can't sleep. I think i'm down to 5 hours sleep per day till the weekend.

(Additionaly the story with the girl i wanted to know better ... some may remember my posts in the emo-thread.
After some messaging, she wrote a mail that she isn't interested in a "romantic" relation yet and she wants to be honest about things like this. She wants to know people for a good while before anything more. So i thought: Ok, having a new friend (and just friend) is ok too, i don't have that much time anyway. Few mails later she mentions she has a boyfriend ... so much about honesty ... )

But it's not this alone ... it's the subtle pressure from some close family-members over a long time ("I'm proud of you", "you will do good one day" ... i'm sure you heard it all). It maybe got into my head and i pressure myself with it. But often i just see that i am NOT good. I did not fail any course yet, but i know i somehow meagerly got through. Now I know nothing anymore. I'm not sure if this is the way i want to go. ...

What i want? Freedom and someone to share my time with. Sometime i think i just should go grab all my money, buy a worn down camper and drive cross europe. But then i don't want to do it alone. And there is this pressure of "need of having a job". I'm not that young anymore.

I can't recommend prozac.

My cats have done a pretty good job giving me a reason not to kill myself though.

I was lucky and found someone to share my life with early on(my wife), but it adds alot of pressure and doesnt fix it all.

[definatelynotKKassandra]

I have been told good things about cats as suicide prevention tools by others too (I can't kill myself, who will feed the cat?)

[Cortess]

I have been told good things about cats as suicide prevention tools by others too (I can't kill myself, who will feed the cat?)

I have a cat, but it stayed at home with my parents. I moved for my thesis to my grand-mother (big house). There is a cat around, but it's one of the psycho-ones ... kind and purry at first, then suddenly vicious and agressive. I think it got an overdose of second-hand-weed-smoking.

I don't know what is wrong with me ... at the moment perfectly fine. But this morning i almost had a breakdown ...

[Jason Marshall]

I have been told good things about cats as suicide prevention tools by others too (I can't kill myself, who will feed the cat?)

I have a cat, but it stayed at home with my parents. I moved for my thesis to my grand-mother (big house). There is a cat around, but it's one of the psycho-ones ... kind and purry at first, then suddenly vicious and agressive. I think it got an overdose of second-hand-weed-smoking.

I don't know what is wrong with me ... at the moment perfectly fine. But this morning i almost had a breakdown ...

The thing I hate most about all of this is that brains are so varied that it takes time to nail down exactly what is causing symptoms like these. This is my second go at really getting my chemicals balanced out the first time I got frustrated and gave up before we found something that worked, and that was after about 5 different drugs + variations in dose.

I hope that I can make it this time and me and my doctor can really figure out whats wrong with me and how to treat it.

In the time between that first attempt and now I found that marijuana took care alot of my symptoms in the short term but that really isnt an option for most people.

Any real fix for the problems is going to come down to seeing a doctor and working out treatment though.


What finally convinced me that my symtoms could be treated was my wife going through the process of getting her Hoshimotos Diagnosed and a treatment plan worked out.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Jason, is this doctor actually a psychiatrist? Are you also seeing a therapist?

[indi]

I have been told good things about cats as suicide prevention tools by others too (I can't kill myself, who will feed the cat?)

I have a cat, but it stayed at home with my parents. I moved for my thesis to my grand-mother (big house). There is a cat around, but it's one of the psycho-ones ... kind and purry at first, then suddenly vicious and agressive. I think it got an overdose of second-hand-weed-smoking.

I don't know what is wrong with me ... at the moment perfectly fine. But this morning i almost had a breakdown ...

I am not a (mental) health care professional, so I can't really say anything. But to me it sounds like you do have some depression issues going on. Try meeting up with a counselor, perhaps your uni provides this type of services. There's no shame in it and it might just help you get your life under control (in a way that works for you). GL.

[XenosisReaper]

I've decided to actually see somebody about my insomnia, mainly because somebody I work with pointed out that I looked so much less ill when I came into work after sleeping for a freak 12 hours.

Apparently all the other times I look either like a zombie or like I'm going to die.

Hmm.

[Jason Marshall]

Bleh the crazy is back after a good day of feeling normal. Still no work from the NP on what we are going to try next. Booze is looking awful tasty but :rememberslastweek:

[indi]

Bleh the crazy is back after a good day of feeling normal. Still no work from the NP on what we are going to try next. Booze is looking awful tasty but :rememberslastweek:

I've seen more than one person with personal experience recommend (strenuous) physical exercise. Is that an option?

[lubica]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

fukken :brofist:

Except it's been 12 years in my case. I'm going to be 30 this year and I have done exactly fuckall with my life since finishing highschool, for more or less exactly the same 'procrastination' issues as yourself. I tried telling myself it's the weed, it isn't. I can be high as a kite, but if something needs doing badly, urgently, right nao, it will get done. If it requires more than half a day of work, I'll probably stop at 50% and forget about the thing. Anything that can be put off until tomorrow, can usually also be put off until next year. And it usually does. And your other post about games is spot on for myself as well :(

Perhaps seeking professional help isn't such a horrible idea.

[L'oiseau]

Just wanted to pop in and say that my recent counseling sessions and the change in weather (which we determined was a factor) has really gotten me out of my rut. Haven't felt truly depressed or anxious for the past 2 weeks. Part of this upturn also has to do with the fact I've gotten over my mental block on asking others for help.

I spoke with a friend (ex-military) and he's helping my initiative to get myself into shape. I've been biking, a lot, going to tae kwon do (which I've already been doing), and weightlifiting. I've also been eating healthier. This past week I also spoke with an upperclassman I know and they helped tutor me on a class I had an exam in.

A thing to take in mind is that sometimes you're your own worst enemy. I had these irrational and illogical blocks formed in my head for whatever reason and between going to the counselor and having them pick at my brain and setting down and actually unraveling the reasoning I had behind these really helped out.

I'm not saying that I'm completely okay just yet, but I'm a lot more apt to take the initiative to make sure I don't fail.

[Al Simmons]

I don't really like people who suddenly feel better from a few sunny days in a row. It's like, why don't you just fucking move to spain or somewhere if that's all it takes to get rid of your depression.

[L'oiseau]

I don't really like people who suddenly feel better from a few sunny days in a row. It's like, why don't you just fucking move to spain or somewhere if that's all it takes to get rid of your depression.
Fair enough. All though that would be a bit difficult given it's across an ocean.

[Sacul]

I don't really like people who suddenly feel better from a few sunny days in a row. It's like, why don't you just fucking move to spain or somewhere if that's all it takes to get rid of your depression.

I dont like people who are so retarded they cant read and comprehend a post. Lóiseau feeling better is clearly way more than just some extra sun rays you muppet. Kindly fuck off out of this thread.

yaimamad

[Al Simmons]

I don't really like people who suddenly feel better from a few sunny days in a row. It's like, why don't you just fucking move to spain or somewhere if that's all it takes to get rid of your depression.

I dont like people who are so retarded they cant read and comprehend a post. Lóiseau feeling better is clearly way more than just some extra sun rays you muppet. Kindly fuck off out of this thread.

yaimamad

I wasn't particularly digging at him. Don't be such an angry twat.

[Sacul]

I don't really like people who suddenly feel better from a few sunny days in a row. It's like, why don't you just fucking move to spain or somewhere if that's all it takes to get rid of your depression.

I dont like people who are so retarded they cant read and comprehend a post. Lóiseau feeling better is clearly way more than just some extra sun rays you muppet. Kindly fuck off out of this thread.

yaimamad

I wasn't particularly digging at him. Don't be such an angry twat.

Ah i must have misunderstood you reacting to him directly. I apologize for not seeing the crowd behind l'oiseau.
:facepalm:

[Al Simmons]

Don't be such an angry twat.

[Sacul]

Don't be such an angry twat.

It ok Al i haz love for you aswell as Rans

:brohug:

[L'oiseau]

Don't be such an angry twat.

It ok Al i haz love for you aswell as Rans

:brohug:
Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

[indi]

Just wanted to pop in and say that my recent counseling sessions and the change in weather (which we determined was a factor) has really gotten me out of my rut. Haven't felt truly depressed or anxious for the past 2 weeks. Part of this upturn also has to do with the fact I've gotten over my mental block on asking others for help.

I spoke with a friend (ex-military) and he's helping my initiative to get myself into shape. I've been biking, a lot, going to tae kwon do (which I've already been doing), and weightlifiting. I've also been eating healthier. This past week I also spoke with an upperclassman I know and they helped tutor me on a class I had an exam in.

A thing to take in mind is that sometimes you're your own worst enemy. I had these irrational and illogical blocks formed in my head for whatever reason and between going to the counselor and having them pick at my brain and setting down and actually unraveling the reasoning I had behind these really helped out.

I'm not saying that I'm completely okay just yet, but I'm a lot more apt to take the initiative to make sure I don't fail.

You took steps to deal with your problems and it's working for you. Really, big ups :) Hope you can continue on this path!

[Al Simmons]

Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

PMs are frowned upon in this forum. The preferred method of communication is negative reps.

[Sacul]

Don't be such an angry twat.

It ok Al i haz love for you aswell as Rans

:brohug:
Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

Fair enough mate and will do.
On your case specifically i would say that you need to make a life altering decesicion. The kind that makes you not return to the former issues. I know it sounds shitty but thats just it change your life or 'try again'. Really the 'try again' adagium really helps!

I am a firm believer of the 'pay it forward' concept even before the movie and i truely do it in my real life. From my experience i cant tell you enough how much it works its truely amazing with the key of it people understanding the concept. In the process you will find its amzing how you feel about yourself just doing it!

[Sacul]

Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

PMs are frowned upon in this forum. The preferred method of communication is negative reps.


Al srsly fuck off of this thread. I dont negrep nor do i indulge in idiots.

Some mod pls intervene before i blow a vain.

[Chrien]

Can you elaborate on the 'pay it forward' concept?

[Sponk]

Can you elaborate on the 'pay it forward' concept?

Sure (http://lmgtfy.com/?q=pay+it+forward+concept&l=1).

[Al Simmons]

Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

PMs are frowned upon in this forum. The preferred method of communication is negative reps.


Al srsly fuck off of this thread. I dont negrep nor do i indulge in idiots.

Some mod pls intervene before i blow a vain.

A vein. Before you blow a vein.

[Sponk]

Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

PMs are frowned upon in this forum. The preferred method of communication is negative reps.


Al srsly fuck off of this thread. I dont negrep nor do i indulge in idiots.

Some mod pls intervene before i blow a vain.

A vein. Before you blow a vein.

A vaughn. Before you blow a vaughn.

http://sarcastig.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/vaughn.jpg

[L'oiseau]

Don't be such an angry twat.

It ok Al i haz love for you aswell as Rans

:brohug:
Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

Fair enough mate and will do.
On your case specifically i would say that you need to make a life altering decesicion. The kind that makes you not return to the former issues. I know it sounds shitty but thats just it change your life or 'try again'. Really the 'try again' adagium really helps!

I am a firm believer of the 'pay it forward' concept even before the movie and i truely do it in my real life. From my experience i cant tell you enough how much it works its truely amazing with the key of it people understanding the concept. In the process you will find its amzing how you feel about yourself just doing it!
How life-altering do you mean? Are you talking sell everything and take a trip around the world kind of thing? I think I get what you're saying, but I can't just up and throw away the time I've already invested into my education (civil engineering). My train of thought, currently, is to A) finish what I've started and B) make the most of the situation no matter what. Granted part of what's pushing me forward is also the expectations I've placed on myself and, to a lesser extent, those of others.

In regards to 'pay it forward'. Again, I'm not quite sure what you're getting at? Volunteering? Mentoring? I've volunteered a lot since I've been in college and really do enjoying helping people out.

Also, again, can everyone please chill? This is the last place I want a flamewar to go off and I will contact a mod if it's not cut out.

[Daneel Trevize]

My turn I guess. Family decided it was time to intervene, set up a doc appointment, and after Jason's recent issues I complied (I mean this as a 'good things happened because of you', Jase).

First time talking to a pro about psychological things you know you've been both keeping an eye on and trying to ignore for years is... rather brutal. :cry:

Going to hit up the PC + pizza + Jack & Coke.

And lets not be so hard on Al, I always get the impression it's not his fault he's not a perfect match for his situation in 21st century Britain (even if we don't agree with his comments about not trying do work, etc & change things himself. And sorry if I'm remembering key details wrong). And I say that even after the doc's telling me that people might need a life-changing event to be engineered if they're going to avoid dealing with issues themselves otherwise.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Big ups people. Glad to see a few names getting help and doing better. Focus on your personal goals, try to get some sun/exercise, and by god never stop posting.

[Azure]

Loving the thread. Keep it up and keep talking lads. ;)

[Sacul]

Don't be such an angry twat.

It ok Al i haz love for you aswell as Rans

:brohug:
Oi, enough of the silly business. If anyone happens to get pissy over someone else's post in the thread (mine included) shoot them a pm next time. k?

Fair enough mate and will do.
On your case specifically i would say that you need to make a life altering decesicion. The kind that makes you not return to the former issues. I know it sounds shitty but thats just it change your life or 'try again'. Really the 'try again' adagium really helps!

I am a firm believer of the 'pay it forward' concept even before the movie and i truely do it in my real life. From my experience i cant tell you enough how much it works its truely amazing with the key of it people understanding the concept. In the process you will find its amzing how you feel about yourself just doing it!
How life-altering do you mean? Are you talking sell everything and take a trip around the world kind of thing? I think I get what you're saying, but I can't just up and throw away the time I've already invested into my education (civil engineering). My train of thought, currently, is to A) finish what I've started and B) make the most of the situation no matter what. Granted part of what's pushing me forward is also the expectations I've placed on myself and, to a lesser extent, those of others.

In regards to 'pay it forward'. Again, I'm not quite sure what you're getting at? Volunteering? Mentoring? I've volunteered a lot since I've been in college and really do enjoying helping people out.

Also, again, can everyone please chill? This is the last place I want a flamewar to go off and I will contact a mod if it's not cut out.

Will answer later, dont think i can make a coherent poast atm as im bouncing like crazy due to work. (did try but deleted it all).

[Takon Orlani]

Not to steal the spotlight from anyone, but while locking up the building outside I started crying and couldn't stop. I started thinking about how my younger sister is now engaged, three years younger than me, and how few of my goals I have achieved and I just sat down on the ground and started sobbing.

I think I need help.

...potatoe a from posted

[Sponk]

Not to steal the spotlight from anyone, but while locking up the building outside I started crying and couldn't stop. I started thinking about how my younger sister is now engaged, three years younger than me, and how few of my goals I have achieved and I just sat down on the ground and started sobbing.

m8 this not a bad thing to cry about, just don't wallow in it.

Let's turn this into a positive thing.

List, here, what your goals are and when you 'expected' to have achieved them.

Then, this is the hard part, think about what other achievements you have made that you hadn't originally had in your list of goals.

[Takon Orlani]

Yea those are depressing thoughts.

Age 27

When I was a teenager I wanted to:

Have a 4 year degree by age 22
have a real job at age 25
buy a house not long after, married the whole bit
kids etc.

Of those I have achieved none. I'm not even sure I want to date let alone marry the women I meet these days. Def wasn't planning on being a fatty who sweeps floors with a 2 year degree at age 27.

[Sponk]

Yea those are depressing thoughts.

Age 27

When I was a teenager I wanted to:

Have a 4 year degree by age 22
have a real job at age 25
buy a house not long after, married the whole bit
kids etc.

Of those I have achieved none. I'm not even sure I want to date let alone marry the women I meet these days. Def wasn't planning on being a fatty who sweeps floors with a 2 year degree at age 27.

One of my mates was in a similar predicament. Same age. No degree (although did go to college). dead-end job doing helpdesk for a regional ISP. No gf prospects, overweight, only accomplishment was spending 60 hours a week playing counterstrike.

In fact, that's what made him change. His psych class were studying bad habits, and instead of choosing fingernail biting or something lame, he chose computer games. He logged the time he spent in a diary, and at the end of two weeks, he had "a frank assessment of my life".

I don't know what happened, but the next time I saw him, he had A Plan.

First was getting in shape, which he did via jogging and martial arts. He lost 13kg in 6 months and eventually managed his goal of being able to do 100 situps without stopping (btw the break points are 30 and 60 - once you get to 70 situps nonstop, it's pretty easy to get to 200).

Oh, and 100 pushups without collapsing, although pauses were ok (what are the breakpoints for 100 pushups without resting? 40,50,60,70,80,90 and 100 no joke they're hard as fuck). As you can tell, he dragged me along with him :P

He actively looked for a new job and picked up an entry-level position doing software development at a small company. Within 2 years he was aknowledged as a senior dev, more to do with dedication to self-improvement than actual experience. Two years later, he was doing systems design and architecture.

He found a girlfriend, then left her when she didn't want to keep up with his self-improvement, and now he's in europe as a consultant, earning 100k EUR per year more than I do, fluent in french and german with a fiancee and flat in Berlin. Let me tell you, it's fucking impressive and it goes to show that it's never too late to start.

but you must start.

[Sponk]

but you must start.

and the first step is to not kid yourself.

The second step is to be realistic about your goals. They must be SMART (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria).

Specific. Don't say "oh I want to be more fit". Choose a specific thing (weight loss, waist-at-bellybutton measurement(pro), weight bench-pressed, miles traversed without collapsing etc).
Measurable. Don't choose wishy washy goals like "I want to be happy". Choose goals you can measure like "I want $x in my bank account to pay for moving house" or "I want to attain X certificate" or "x dates in the next month"
Attainable. Be realistic. You won't win lottery, so don't put it as a goal because you'll just feel like shit when you realise you're lying to yourself.
Relevant. Don't choose a goal just because its attainable; choose a goal because it helps you get from where you are to where you want to be.
Timely. If it doesn't have a deadline, it is not a goal, it's a wish.

So.

Work out which parts of your life are especially shit. Which parts? Use the hokey wheel of life chart

Example:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9Pe2kn0IFU4/ToOK-gkwTZI/AAAAAAAAA-A/AFOTChhkTJk/s1600/wheel_of_life+squiggled.jpg

The interesting thing is that if you push one aspect of the wheel too high, the opposite side suffers (if the wheel is specced correctly, which it often isn't because new age people are often retards. I'm going to have to find a non-retarded wheel where career is correctly opposite to health etc. Similarly, if the wheel has the areas in the right order, there's a cascading effect going clockwise, where x leads to better education which leads to better career which leads to etter finances which allows a better living environment etc etc. fucking wheel-of-life noobs on the internet geez)


set some goals. You want

1-month goals
3-month goals
6-month goals
Stuff that could be goals but right now you're not putting a deadline on them so they're just wishes right now.
(you could also do 1-day/6-week/6-month. whatever works)

so, 1-month goal might be read x textbooks for your career.
3-month goal is to achieve x specific ways to improve your marketability from a career perspective
6-month goal is to do a single online course from opencourseware or mit free courses or whatever.

and similarly for health, socialness, etc.

Make a list, because god damn it's great to cross shit off lists.

Keep the goals S.M.A.R.T. and for heavens sakes

POST HERE with your goals, and how you're tracking. The most important thing about goal setting is telling others because frankly, backing out is then no longer an option.

[Chrien]

I was going to post my experience of turning my life around but Sponk's example is spot on. You know you don't like your life so what are you going to do about it? The only person who can change your life is you.

[Takon Orlani]

Thanks guys. The fucked up bit is a year ago I had a book that covered all this on my own, pretty much exactly as you guys said. I guess I just lost sight of my methods.

...potatoe a from posted

[Jags]

Possibly too drunk for this to make sense but will give it a go :)

Have been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks for about a year , combination of bad shit in January = me going batshit crazy and basically shut myself down. Doc likened it to a clickof the fingers and my brain shutting itself off from normal reasonable thinking. Anyway , referral to good counsellor (with massive doos) and a few sessions and im back as close to normal as I have been in years.

TL:DR , this thread has been invauable to show that im not alone in having crazy thoughts and issues and I thank every one of you who post on here. If anyone ever feels even the smallest way outof line then speak to the professionals as they will help you solveyour problems.

(will read and fix spelling tomorrow)

[hellgremlin]

Well, hi everyone. Long time lurker, first time mental thread poster. This post will be a vent, and an attempt to assert my thoughts. It requires no reply.

To give you a bit of history, I've had problems with anxiety, anhedonia and depression since mid-teens (likely caused by all the E and coke I did as a teen, or possibly by the intense bullying that made up my earlier youth.) I'm on my second try of antidepressants - first try was around age 28; Cipralex 10-20mg through college, just to get me through. Afterwards I stopped taking it, as it had lost most of its efficacy, and managed to keep things together until about age 30, when I had an unpleasant incident involving a heavily armed SWAT team gently escorting me to my local hospital's nutcase ward for a psychiatric hold. That breakdown is the introduction to my present state: taking 30mg Cipralex/400mg Seroquel, with Apo-Propranolol for moments of expected intense anxiety (I take it before leaving the house, basically.) At least I got free therapy out of the deal. And the SWAT team was really nice, too.

I'm almost a hermit. Not quite. Sometimes I muster the courage to go out to my fave pub, or something like that. Those occasions are rare. When I admit the truth to myself, even under the lovely mood-elevating effects of all that fucking Cipralex, it is ugly: I no longer enjoy socializing with people at all. I avoid the phone, so making plans is difficult. When I do make plans, I break them 95% of the time, because I realize I won't enjoy what I'm going out to do. When I do manage to go out, I am instantly homesick the moment I leave the house - my mind preoccupied with how much nicer it'd be to be home.

I have great friends that will drag me out from time to time when I'm feeling particularly down. I have my folks, who are the best human beings on earth, possessed of infinite patience for their smoldering human wreckage of a son. They don't pressure me to find a job, and I'm very thankful for that because I do not want to work at all. I have my savings from my years as a dental tech, and my piddly income from being a writer/journalist - these savings will, with good management, last me a long time. My medication costs 350 dollars a month (CAD) because I can't find the motivation to apply for a drug plan. I feel like I shouldn't take advantage of a drug plan. It's a program for poor people to get discounts on medication. I can afford my medication. My folks generally cover the costs, and I try to pay them back by keeping the house in order, and the lawn tidy - I tried paying for it myself with my savings, but they'll have none of that.

Even though I have all this fantastic support structure, I feel like I shouldn't be relying on it; like I am defective or diseased for doing so. I fear that by talking about my depression to others, it will infect them. I've always been a good "convincer" and really good at causing people to think the way I do; it made me an excellent drug dealer, but it also makes me absolutely fucking poisonous to be around. If you didn't think depression could be contagious, spend time around me and you'll want to kill yourself too.

I don't think I'm getting better. My world is getting smaller, and my fear seems to grow bigger. Even taking a rhinoceros-dose of antidepressants merely serves to level me off. The depression is creeping back in. I'm debating investigating drastic things like electro-convulsive therapy. Frankly, my brain is my enemy, and I don't mind the idea of shocking the fuck out of it, if it will grant me respite.

Phew. That felt good to write.

[Sponk]

Even though I have all this fantastic support structure, I feel like I shouldn't be relying on it; like I am defective or diseased for doing so. I fear that by talking about my depression to others, it will infect them. I've always been a good "convincer" and really good at causing people to think the way I do; it made me an excellent drug dealer, but it also makes me absolutely fucking poisonous to be around. If you didn't think depression could be contagious, spend time around me and you'll want to kill yourself too.

I felt like this too. In the end, I raised this issue with my friends and family and there was a lot of discussion and I cried a whole lot (depressed person crying nbs) but really, they got my permission to drag me out of my depression and that started me on the road to recovery (also giving someone my passwords so they could lock me out of MMOs for six months helped)

[Raine Woot]

Well, hi everyone. Long time lurker, first time mental thread poster. This post will be a vent, and an attempt to assert my thoughts. It requires no reply.

To give you a bit of history, I've had problems with anxiety, anhedonia and depression since mid-teens (likely caused by all the E and coke I did as a teen, or possibly by the intense bullying that made up my earlier youth.) I'm on my second try of antidepressants - first try was around age 28; Cipralex 10-20mg through college, just to get me through. Afterwards I stopped taking it, as it had lost most of its efficacy, and managed to keep things together until about age 30, when I had an unpleasant incident involving a heavily armed SWAT team gently escorting me to my local hospital's nutcase ward for a psychiatric hold. That breakdown is the introduction to my present state: taking 30mg Cipralex/400mg Seroquel, with Apo-Propranolol for moments of expected intense anxiety (I take it before leaving the house, basically.) At least I got free therapy out of the deal. And the SWAT team was really nice, too.

I'm almost a hermit. Not quite. Sometimes I muster the courage to go out to my fave pub, or something like that. Those occasions are rare. When I admit the truth to myself, even under the lovely mood-elevating effects of all that fucking Cipralex, it is ugly: I no longer enjoy socializing with people at all. I avoid the phone, so making plans is difficult. When I do make plans, I break them 95% of the time, because I realize I won't enjoy what I'm going out to do. When I do manage to go out, I am instantly homesick the moment I leave the house - my mind preoccupied with how much nicer it'd be to be home.

I have great friends that will drag me out from time to time when I'm feeling particularly down. I have my folks, who are the best human beings on earth, possessed of infinite patience for their smoldering human wreckage of a son. They don't pressure me to find a job, and I'm very thankful for that because I do not want to work at all. I have my savings from my years as a dental tech, and my piddly income from being a writer/journalist - these savings will, with good management, last me a long time. My medication costs 350 dollars a month (CAD) because I can't find the motivation to apply for a drug plan. I feel like I shouldn't take advantage of a drug plan. It's a program for poor people to get discounts on medication. I can afford my medication. My folks generally cover the costs, and I try to pay them back by keeping the house in order, and the lawn tidy - I tried paying for it myself with my savings, but they'll have none of that.

Even though I have all this fantastic support structure, I feel like I shouldn't be relying on it; like I am defective or diseased for doing so. I fear that by talking about my depression to others, it will infect them. I've always been a good "convincer" and really good at causing people to think the way I do; it made me an excellent drug dealer, but it also makes me absolutely fucking poisonous to be around. If you didn't think depression could be contagious, spend time around me and you'll want to kill yourself too.

I don't think I'm getting better. My world is getting smaller, and my fear seems to grow bigger. Even taking a rhinoceros-dose of antidepressants merely serves to level me off. The depression is creeping back in. I'm debating investigating drastic things like electro-convulsive therapy. Frankly, my brain is my enemy, and I don't mind the idea of shocking the fuck out of it, if it will grant me respite.

Phew. That felt good to write.

Try not to hate yourself for it. It makes you want to curl up and die instead of giving it a shot. It's not always easy, but if you can forgive yourself and think of it as being a lot for one person to deal with rather than a personal failure tied to your identity, you might just feel a bit better.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't deserve it, and you've as much a right to feel ok as everyone else.

[Tarminic]

So, my own contribution to the goings-on in the mental heath thread.

Evidence suggests that I've been suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder for quite a number of years now, something I didn't actually realize until late last year I took a few questionnaires that have a 95% correlation with a professional diagnosis. For example, I score an 84 on the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test (http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/liebowitz/), which was kind of a shocking wakeup call to me, but in hindsight explains so much of my personal quirks. So I got a two-month prescription for Zoloft, which was great. At the same time, toward the end of my two month prescription, my stress at work was reduced significantly and I felt pretty good, so I just didn't bother renewing.

Bad idea. Cue two weeks of irrational anger and roller-coaster emotions, but I was just too damn busy to get back on anything. After spending last week being so stressed out about money that I was either mentally paralyzed or just refused to think about it (FYI, this is not a good way to fix money problems), I decided to cut the bullshit and talk to somebody. I finally took Monday off to speak to a doctor and have gotten a renewed prescription for 6 months of Zoloft and a prescription for 20MG of Adderall, which I was on 4-5 years ago but stopped taking when I lost health insurance due to being laid off.

I hate this. Rationally, I understand the brain chemistry is brain chemistry and I can't just will myself into normal behavior, or that when I try the mental effort is exhausting to the point of depression. But on some level I still feel like taking this pill is an acknowledgement that I'm incapable of solving my problems on my own.

[Sponk]

But on some level I still feel like taking this pill is an acknowledgement that I'm incapable of solving my problems on my own.
Would you feel the same way if you were taking heart medication instead?

Ill health is ill health. You take what you need to manage it. Don't beat yourself up over it.

[Lallante]

My problems seem trivial to me because it should just be a case of me getting over myself and 'getting on with it' but i don't and my habits haven't changed since i was half way through high school, which was 13 years ago. It was a sudden change, but why it started then is a mystery.

When faced with work i need to do, i simply wont do it. College work, exercise, the dishes, laundry, you name it. It feels like procrastination gone mad because at the time, it doesn't even enter my mind that i need to be doing something else, and that i am avoiding it. I simply find something other than it to do. The more work i do, the more trivial the thing i find to replace it with and the longer i stay up because "I've got to do work, i can't go to bed". If it's possible to cram in a small piece of work at like 4am, then that will get done, badly. Then i get no sleep, i'm rubbish in class and as soon as i get home i go to sleep because i'm tired, wake up at 2am and find some other trivial shit to do, still not doing to work and then back to college. Once there i'm fine in class, but i haven't done the work and now my sleeping pattern is fucked. When i can't do the work, when im on the bus or getting ready to leave the house or on the way to work or even at work, i make detailed plans and vow to do the work. I get home, i don't do the work. It's retarded.

I spoke to the college councilor about it for a while, but it didn't really tell me anything i didn't already know. It's me that's avoiding the work and it's me that has to stop it. But i've been trying that for 8 years (i gave up in the middle) and i'm still treading out the same patterns in the sand. Constantly fighting myself to do things that will benefit me doesn't seem normal.

fukken :brofist:

Except it's been 12 years in my case. I'm going to be 30 this year and I have done exactly fuckall with my life since finishing highschool, for more or less exactly the same 'procrastination' issues as yourself. I tried telling myself it's the weed, it isn't. I can be high as a kite, but if something needs doing badly, urgently, right nao, it will get done. If it requires more than half a day of work, I'll probably stop at 50% and forget about the thing. Anything that can be put off until tomorrow, can usually also be put off until next year. And it usually does. And your other post about games is spot on for myself as well :(

Perhaps seeking professional help isn't such a horrible idea.

Am I really wrong in thinking pretty much everyone has this problem and the solution is willpower, self-discipline and lifestyle changes?

Its sort of similar to fat people who really intend to stop eating pies, but just dont. The reason is you dont really, deep down, care enough to change, because if you did you would.

Or is this something more complex/psychological etc?

[Al Simmons]

I've been on the computer for about 18 hours straight doing a lot of nothing. I have to look for jobs since I got chucked off Income Support and onto JSA, but I haven't done any applications, I can't give a fuck. Have to go to the Jobcentre on tuesday with my 6 filled out applications to get the JSA but I don't really care. I could fill out some bullshit and pretend, but i'm super bad at lying, mum raised me too honest I guess.

Been watching a lot of nihilistic movies and eating junk food. Been thinking about just giving up and taking that long walk out to the gorge and up the rockslide to the big rock I used to sit on. I liked that spot before I discovered the ledge further up that looks over bare rock several hundred feet below. Never been back there since, and I miss it.

It's really dumb cos I was doing pretty well by my standards the last couple of weeks. Was walking most days, working out a bit, doing washing-up etc. Was still feeling shitty, but more that numb shitty rather than actively bad. Don't really know what happened tbh. Well I guess I had a bit of a freak out and crying fit on saturday when I was supposed to go to my dad's for the weekend and I couldn't face it for some reason. I didn't want to see my brother I guess. He hates me so much.

I guess I should man up, right? I confess I don't know how. I've never thought of myself as a man, more like a 25-year old perpetual teenager. This post is silly and over-wrought and I should just stfu.

[Chrien]

I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is what do you want from life. If what you've got now is all you want well I guess thats ok, but if you want more (and you aren't happy with your life so it would appear so) then you need to work out what it is. Only once you know what you want can you get it.
My experience with my difficulties and how I overcame them is that I didn't know what I wanted from life, it was only once I saw my friends settling down and realised how much I wanted the same opportunities that they had that I worked out I had to get my shit together and do something about it.
I'm not saying you have to be like every other person out there but you have to work out what makes you happy and do what you got to do to get that happiness.

[Al Simmons]

Nothing really makes me happy and I don't know what I want from life. I don't even know if I want life, to be honest. I don't want to settle down and get some tedious office job.

[Sponk]

Nothing really makes me happy and I don't know what I want from life. I don't even know if I want life, to be honest. I don't want to settle down and get some tedious office job.

Ah, the eternal(*) question... what to do in a sandbox.






(*) not actually eternal, since you will die eventually.

[hellgremlin]

It's not so much "what to do in the sandbox" but "why do anything in the sandbox." This is further complicated by self-defeating questions such as "won't the sand be just as shit everywhere I go" or "why do some people earn more sand in a week than I would in a lifetime" etc.

[Daneel Trevize]

I've spent the majority of the last 2 years answers peoples' questioning of "What do you want (to do)?" with "I don't just know."

The constant advice seems to be, you have to try something even if you don't like it and that was shit to do and sounds like a waste of time, because not trying anything is incredibly unlikely to lead to discovering what you want to do. Be prepared to try and fail and get over multiple things, it's how you'll learn what you do want. Even if it's via frustration and you go 'fuck all these stupid things, I just want to go to x or see y or try z once before I really think I might be pondering giving up, ...and that'll need a little planning and cash, so to get that sorted I therefore want to/am willing to... huh ok I'll work that job for a few months while reading up on...".

Have you seen the stars from a clear night without light pollution? Or boarded on real snow? Or built an engine/talked to a smart supermodel/biked all day or week or month long/done something that'd be cool and could also be inspiring to you?

[XenosisReaper]

I've spent the majority of the last 2 years answers peoples' questioning of "What do you want (to do)?" with "I don't just know."

The constant advice seems to be, you have to try something even if you don't like it and that was shit to do and sounds like a waste of time, because not trying anything is incredibly unlikely to lead to discovering what you want to do. Be prepared to try and fail and get over multiple things, it's how you'll learn what you do want. Even if it's via frustration and you go 'fuck all these stupid things, I just want to go to x or see y or try z once before I really think I might be pondering giving up, ...and that'll need a little planning and cash, so to get that sorted I therefore want to/am willing to... huh ok I'll work that job for a few months while reading up on...".

Have you seen the stars from a clear night without light pollution? Or boarded on real snow? Or built an engine/talked to a smart supermodel/biked all day or week or month long/done something that'd be cool and could also be inspiring to you?

No.

In unrelated news, I literally cannot be fucked to get out of bed, at all

[hellgremlin]

No.

In unrelated news, I literally cannot be fucked to get out of bed, at all

Hello, morning apathy buddy. It took me until noon to get up today. Are you like me, in that you'll wake up at 8 AM, go "fuck it", wake up at 10, go "fuck it" again, etc?

I find it helps me crawl out of the dungeon if I promise myself something minor but good upon finally waking up: today, this was breakfast with lotsa fuckin' bacon.


Have you seen the stars from a clear night without light pollution? Or boarded on real snow? Or built an engine/talked to a smart supermodel/biked all day or week or month long/done something that'd be cool and could also be inspiring to you?

In my case yes. I've led what I have described to my shrink as a charmed life (minus the whole decades of suicidality bit.) I have wealthy folks, and had a nepotism-based route into a very high paying career. That wasn't enough, so I went to school for a second career I could call my own; now I can't find a reason to be working at all. I've had periods of life where I was in excellent physical shape, exercising regularly to get the ol' endorphins flowing... and all for naught. The depression won eventually. Never really had problems with women, getting with/talking to/etc, but again, the depression won, and the will to even try is obliterated. I mean, why inflict myself and my horrible infectious mental disease upon innocent others? It's like forcing someone to hang out with a bag of cancer.

I've been trying to seek inspiration for a long time. The only thing I am really "inspired" in, is painting little Warhammer dudes. Without exaggeration, that is my primary source of drive. All other tasks are completed with the bare modicum of dis-interested effort.

[Rudolf Miller]

Dearest FHC, lend me your genuine advice.

I have a female friend that I've known long distance for almost 10 years now. Her life is complex, and I've always been there to try and help her.

In that time, she has attempted suicide more than once. One time very nearly successfully, and another time this past Saturday. Outcome at this point is still somewhat of an unknown I'm afraid. The only thing I have to go on is a comment on Facebook that leads me to believe that she did get taken to a hospital and lack of an obituary suggests that she is indeed alive still. But at this point it could all be conjecture. All things considered though, it seems more probable at this point that she's on a psych ward than the other alternatives.

That being said, I'm trying to figure out what can be done. I can personally say that of her previous attempts, I was usually key in talking her down from them. This may sound skeptical, but without going into the whole story I can assure you it's true. This time however, it was different. I feel as her friend I really should do more to reach out to her and get her the support she needs, but New York to Colorado is a bit of a stretch.

I guess really I shouldn't be allowing her problems to stress me out, but she's a close friend and I'd hate to lose her.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Dearest FHC, lend me your genuine advice.

I have a female friend that I've known long distance for almost 10 years now. Her life is complex, and I've always been there to try and help her.

In that time, she has attempted suicide more than once. One time very nearly successfully, and another time this past Saturday. Outcome at this point is still somewhat of an unknown I'm afraid. The only thing I have to go on is a comment on Facebook that leads me to believe that she did get taken to a hospital and lack of an obituary suggests that she is indeed alive still. But at this point it could all be conjecture. All things considered though, it seems more probable at this point that she's on a psych ward than the other alternatives.

That being said, I'm trying to figure out what can be done. I can personally say that of her previous attempts, I was usually key in talking her down from them. This may sound skeptical, but without going into the whole story I can assure you it's true. This time however, it was different. I feel as her friend I really should do more to reach out to her and get her the support she needs, but New York to Colorado is a bit of a stretch.

I guess really I shouldn't be allowing her problems to stress me out, but she's a close friend and I'd hate to lose her.

If you're getting stressed out because of her problems, that means you're a good friend.

Does she have any family support where she's at currently? If she doesn't have anyone or who she says don't care, try to work with your friend finding a social worker to kinda manage the important bits post-inpatient: housing, doctor appts, etc.

Also, we haven't called them psych wards in YEARS. They're now called inpatient or residential mental health center/unit/hospital/facility/etc.

[definatelynotKKassandra]

Also, we haven't called them psych wards in YEARS. They're now called inpatient or residential mental health center/unit/hospital/facility/etc.

Doesn't change the fact that that's what they are. 'Residential mental health facility' sounds pretty sinister if you ask me.

Good advice though.

[XenosisReaper]

So drinking to forget things is a valid therapeutic tactic, right guys? ...right?

I'm back in the stage (see emothread for related reasons) where my entire life is [wake up - work - home - drink until I pass out - wake up] I'm aware that this isn't the best strategy but I have no other reason to get out of bed and I really can't face normal interaction with people without wanting to throw up

[definatelynotKKassandra]

So drinking to forget things is a valid therapeutic tactic, right guys? ...right?

I'm back in the stage (see emothread for related reasons) where my entire life is [wake up - work - home - drink until I pass out - wake up] I'm aware that this isn't the best strategy but I have no other reason to get out of bed and I really can't face normal interaction with people without wanting to throw up

You reached the conclusion that the incident that set this off was down to drink, didn't you?

[XenosisReaper]

So drinking to forget things is a valid therapeutic tactic, right guys? ...right?

I'm back in the stage (see emothread for related reasons) where my entire life is [wake up - work - home - drink until I pass out - wake up] I'm aware that this isn't the best strategy but I have no other reason to get out of bed and I really can't face normal interaction with people without wanting to throw up

You reached the conclusion that the incident that set this off was down to drink, didn't you?

Indeed, but I'm combining my drinking with becoming a hermit and never leaving the house aside from work

[Al Simmons]

I've spent the majority of the last 2 years answers peoples' questioning of "What do you want (to do)?" with "I don't just know."

The constant advice seems to be, you have to try something even if you don't like it and that was shit to do and sounds like a waste of time, because not trying anything is incredibly unlikely to lead to discovering what you want to do. Be prepared to try and fail and get over multiple things, it's how you'll learn what you do want. Even if it's via frustration and you go 'fuck all these stupid things, I just want to go to x or see y or try z once before I really think I might be pondering giving up, ...and that'll need a little planning and cash, so to get that sorted I therefore want to/am willing to... huh ok I'll work that job for a few months while reading up on...".

Have you seen the stars from a clear night without light pollution? Or boarded on real snow? Or built an engine/talked to a smart supermodel/biked all day or week or month long/done something that'd be cool and could also be inspiring to you?

I freaking love looking at the stars. They're all pretty and mystical-ey. I like imagining some alien dude looking up at his sky and wondering if there is life up there. And I like thinking about space travel and humanity leaving the parents' basement that is planet earth (galactically speaking). It depresses the hell out of me that no-one else really seems to care about that apart from some awesome nerds with little influence since their goals stopped coinciding with the government/military ones.

I mean, man. I'd love to get into something that furthered that goal. But damn does it seem like pie in the sky (literally!) from where I am now. I couldn't even summon up the courage to take the final exam for a part time community college course in PC servicing! I have a bit of an imagination, but most technical things make my head spin. And I suck at maths. Or hard work.

:emo::emo::emo:

[Daneel Trevize]

I couldn't even summon up the courage to take the final exam for a part time community college courseTo me that sounds telling. You didn't say you couldn't summon the effort to get there to sit and do it, or that you opted out because you knew you hadn't studied, but that you were afraid of trying and failing.
The constant advice seems to be, you have to try something even if you don't like it and that was shit to do and sounds like a waste of time, because not trying anything is incredibly unlikely to lead to discovering what you want to do. Be prepared to try and fail and get over multiple things, it's how you'll learn what you do want.And if you're stumbling at the 'be prepared to try and fail' part, just try, and (maybe) fail. It will have been something and that is a big deal, it'll help you prepare for the next time.

[Rudolf Miller]

Dearest FHC, lend me your genuine advice.

I have a female friend that I've known long distance for almost 10 years now. Her life is complex, and I've always been there to try and help her.

In that time, she has attempted suicide more than once. One time very nearly successfully, and another time this past Saturday. Outcome at this point is still somewhat of an unknown I'm afraid. The only thing I have to go on is a comment on Facebook that leads me to believe that she did get taken to a hospital and lack of an obituary suggests that she is indeed alive still. But at this point it could all be conjecture. All things considered though, it seems more probable at this point that she's on a psych ward than the other alternatives.

That being said, I'm trying to figure out what can be done. I can personally say that of her previous attempts, I was usually key in talking her down from them. This may sound skeptical, but without going into the whole story I can assure you it's true. This time however, it was different. I feel as her friend I really should do more to reach out to her and get her the support she needs, but New York to Colorado is a bit of a stretch.

I guess really I shouldn't be allowing her problems to stress me out, but she's a close friend and I'd hate to lose her.

If you're getting stressed out because of her problems, that means you're a good friend.

Does she have any family support where she's at currently? If she doesn't have anyone or who she says don't care, try to work with your friend finding a social worker to kinda manage the important bits post-inpatient: housing, doctor appts, etc.

Also, we haven't called them psych wards in YEARS. They're now called inpatient or residential mental health center/unit/hospital/facility/etc.

Thanks. I was able to get a hold of her yesterday. The paramedics got there just in time. Shes self admitting to a 10 week program today to get things straightened out.

[Al Simmons]

I couldn't even summon up the courage to take the final exam for a part time community college courseTo me that sounds telling. You didn't say you couldn't summon the effort to get there to sit and do it, or that you opted out because you knew you hadn't studied, but that you were afraid of trying and failing.

Well the exam was scheduled for the last week of the summer term, but they had to cancel it because they messed up the entry tickets or something. We were then supposed to take it in the autumn, but I had a crappy summer and didn't have the energy/enthusiasm to revise for it and go and take it after such a long break from studying.

And of course i'm afraid of trying and failing, that's what this whole thing is about. I take failure/criticism really badly.

[Sponk]

I wish there were a place you could learn to try and fail/succeed many times quickly like red vs blue so you can learn to accept individual losses and look towards the average instead.

Maybe theatre sports?


Blah blah blah tapatalk

[XenosisReaper]

Much better today, I didn't get shouted into a wall and I'm apparently still on speaking terms.

Fucking, yes.

Even boomdowns couldn't eclipse my grin right now

[Mrenda]

Hello srs mental health thread. How are you doing?

Life in general is going pretty good for me. I'm really enjoying things. I've been doing good in my job. I've been seeing my friends. I've been holding a decent sleeping pattern. I've been getting exercise. I've been taking my medication. I've been engaging with photography every day: either reading about it, looking at it, printing it or actual doing it. I'm "building" a website for my aunt, and have plans to go take photos that she needs for it. This weekend I was gaming with friends, had a good ol' game of Descent and watched a rugby match with them. I've been managing my "professional" twitter account. All good, and here comes that all important "but." But I'm fucking exhausted. I am so fucking tired it's unreal. It feels like I have been going 100mph for the past few months and that I'm about to crash.

This shouldn't be happening, because like I said I've been holding a good sleeping pattern (up to maybe a week or two ago,) I've been exercising well, I've cut crappy foods out of my diet and am eating balanced meals. But my mind has gone into that discombobulated thought process where I need to get it to chill out for a bit or I'm going to sperg out. And I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should battle through this, hoping it's a temporary issue and I'll come good if I keep going as is. Or should I chill out for the next week or so and risk not being able to get back into the good rythym I had for the past while, or even worse that I fall into bad habits from it. Or am I just struggling with the normal pacing and rythym of life? Is this the way it is, that people go through cycles of their brain racing and being extremely exhausted and I'm just lucky enough that I don't have to worry about a roof over my head and feeding myself so I can drop out for a while?

And everything would be extremely fucking cool if it wasn't from this tiredness and racing brain. As it gets closer to the end of the day, my head gets het up, and I start overthinking, and then I start thinking that I'm being stupid and get into this mental self-flagellation routine. And I need that to stop for a bit. If you could co-operate, my brain, I'd appreciate it.

Thanking you for my time Mr. Brain,
Cheers,
Buceph.

[Shin_getter]

I've stumbled upon this thing.... maybe it is worth a read

http://econfaculty.gmu.edu/bcaplan/pdfs/szasz.pdf

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

I've stumbled upon this thing.... maybe it is worth a read

http://econfaculty.gmu.edu/bcaplan/pdfs/szasz.pdf

Put off going to bed just to say this, the paper you linked is bad, so very bad.

Also, lol@ George Mason U.

[Sponk]

psychiatrists vov.

I didn't know they were still a thing. Thought everyone was seeing cognitive psychologists these days.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Didn't know who Thomas Szasz was until google. Now I wish I could go back.


psychiatrists vov.

I didn't know they were still a thing. Thought everyone was seeing cognitive psychologists these days.

For your everyday mom n pop stuff, they're equivalent. For serious mental health cases, tend to need a psychiatrist. If for nothing else, they get a prescription pad.

[Cortess]

Finally decided to make use of those free consulting sessions offered by my university.
But in three weeks from now ... which is kinda ... a long time. Which almost puts me off taking it at all.

Life sucks!

Edit:
TMA getting help in germany. Going to regular doc first? Then getting a assignment to a shrink? Letting 5 weeks pass until first meeting is avaiable? And then pay a small fortune for the session or is it covered by health insurance?

Seriously ... i don't know if i really have issues or not. I'm at a point where I see that i could say "i'm just lazy", but i simply cannot concentrate on anything. Then i get depressed and do even less because i have the feeling "there is no use to do anything at all" ... then at night i get anxious about not doing/accomplishing anything and can't sleep (i'm down to roughly 6h-5h sleep per night). Next day i'm so tired i can't concentrate on anything and the loop starts again.

Edit2:
Then i read other ppls problems and think to myself that i shouldn't be such a crybaby and just man up. I shouldn't pester those psychatrists with my insignificant problems. (but are they really insignificant?)

[Jason Marshall]

The pyschiatrist whom I first saw in elementary school has agreed to do sessions with me over skype until a year round doctor here is available. He is also working with my NR to help educate her more on mental health problems.

[Al Simmons]

Hello srs mental health thread. How are you doing?

Life in general is going pretty good for me. I'm really enjoying things. I've been doing good in my job. I've been seeing my friends. I've been holding a decent sleeping pattern. I've been getting exercise. I've been taking my medication. I've been engaging with photography every day: either reading about it, looking at it, printing it or actual doing it. I'm "building" a website for my aunt, and have plans to go take photos that she needs for it. This weekend I was gaming with friends, had a good ol' game of Descent and watched a rugby match with them. I've been managing my "professional" twitter account. All good, and here comes that all important "but." But I'm fucking exhausted. I am so fucking tired it's unreal. It feels like I have been going 100mph for the past few months and that I'm about to crash.

This shouldn't be happening, because like I said I've been holding a good sleeping pattern (up to maybe a week or two ago,) I've been exercising well, I've cut crappy foods out of my diet and am eating balanced meals. But my mind has gone into that discombobulated thought process where I need to get it to chill out for a bit or I'm going to sperg out. And I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should battle through this, hoping it's a temporary issue and I'll come good if I keep going as is. Or should I chill out for the next week or so and risk not being able to get back into the good rythym I had for the past while, or even worse that I fall into bad habits from it. Or am I just struggling with the normal pacing and rythym of life? Is this the way it is, that people go through cycles of their brain racing and being extremely exhausted and I'm just lucky enough that I don't have to worry about a roof over my head and feeding myself so I can drop out for a while?

And everything would be extremely fucking cool if it wasn't from this tiredness and racing brain. As it gets closer to the end of the day, my head gets het up, and I start overthinking, and then I start thinking that I'm being stupid and get into this mental self-flagellation routine. And I need that to stop for a bit. If you could co-operate, my brain, I'd appreciate it.

Thanking you for my time Mr. Brain,
Cheers,
Buceph.

Chill out for a bit. Watch some good movies, go for slower walks instead of major exercise. Have some bubble baths. See if that helps, because you don't want to go off the top end i.e go manic, that's as bad/worse than being super depressed. I mean it's fun while it happens in a weird sort of way, you can get a lot done and you feel amazing, but you will crash and burn eventually and that sucks major ass.

I don't know if "normal" people go through these kind of cycles, but I think people with a history of mental illness probably get them a lot worse and have to pay more attention and be more receptive to those warning signs. In much the same way that someone with diabetes has to pay a lot more attention to what they eat. Of course it's made a lot harder by the very nature of the illness, you don't know half the time if you actually dislike something or feel a certain way or if it's just the depression making you think that.

[Chrien]

Buceph I think its important to acknowledge that even though photography is a hobby and fun thing for you to do, engaging with it constantly is going to be exhausting. It sounds like you're mentally exhausted and need to give your brain some time to chill out. As Al suggested, take things a bit slower, theres a reason 90% of the population collapses on to their sofas and watches mindless TV programs when they get home from work.

[mobiusnm]

I've stumbled upon this thing.... maybe it is worth a read

http://econfaculty.gmu.edu/bcaplan/pdfs/szasz.pdf

nope, not worth it at all. economist writing philosophically about a field he hasn't really bothered to research. Getting a second degree at GMU right now :X So tempting to go by that guys office and scream at him. In GMU's defense, "Cost-benefit and cost-effectiveness analysis of drug abuse treatment services." by Cartwright is a very very good article :/ and uh... uses more ... you know... data.

[mobiusnm]

Wanted to read the whole thread before I wrote more. 30 year old alcoholic checking in. Its in the family and has really shaped my life through me and my brother both managing it in our own way and the hell its loosed on our family. Rita is definitely right in saying addiction requires continuous management, not an hour goes by where its not on my mind. Always up to talk about it with anyone.

Just to throw in some extra on psychologists:Some have access to applied neuroscience in the form of biofeedback (somewhat popular in addiction therapy) and other things that do treat physical aspects of mental disease that I found way more helpful than anything psychiatrists did for me. In the end, if the problem requires a prescription you want a psychiatrist. Some GPs will offer to prescribe anti-depressants ect... but I wouldn't recommend it based on my own experience.

[Jason Marshall]

Psychiatric sessions are helping. Still have really bad social anxiety.

[Chrien]

I've had two pretty bad days, or two days that feel really bad. Feel pretty down about life right now.
On Thursday I got turned down by a girl I really liked, which sucks but no biggie. Then about half an hour later I got two emails from graduate development programs I'd applied to for when I finish my degree turning me down. I had an exam that afternoon which actually turned out to be a blessing because it forced me to focus on studying and the exam seemed to go well.
Then today I had work, check my email on my phone and another 3 programs for other departments have turned me down. Of the 8 programs I applied for I now have 6 rejections (1 rejected me like 3 weeks ago). Its like I can see my future fading before my eyes and theres not really much I can do about it. I went back to my studies with the ambition of getting one of these jobs, worked my ass off got really good grades and I'm still not getting a chance.
Anyways I'm pretty down, had some pretty dark thoughts for the first time in like 3 years and my brother who is my safety net who I can talk to about anything is out of the country on a holiday so I can't really turn to him. Not really looking forward to the weekend, right now being alone with my thoughts is not pleasant.

[Lallante]

I've had two pretty bad days, or two days that feel really bad. Feel pretty down about life right now.
On Thursday I got turned down by a girl I really liked, which sucks but no biggie. Then about half an hour later I got two emails from graduate development programs I'd applied to for when I finish my degree turning me down. I had an exam that afternoon which actually turned out to be a blessing because it forced me to focus on studying and the exam seemed to go well.
Then today I had work, check my email on my phone and another 3 programs for other departments have turned me down. Of the 8 programs I applied for I now have 6 rejections (1 rejected me like 3 weeks ago). Its like I can see my future fading before my eyes and theres not really much I can do about it. I went back to my studies with the ambition of getting one of these jobs, worked my ass off got really good grades and I'm still not getting a chance.
Anyways I'm pretty down, had some pretty dark thoughts for the first time in like 3 years and my brother who is my safety net who I can talk to about anything is out of the country on a holiday so I can't really turn to him. Not really looking forward to the weekend, right now being alone with my thoughts is not pleasant.

What you are describing would cause literally anyone to feel down.

That said, its pretty much part of life to go through rejections like this (everyone does at some point). The best way to deal with it is to get proactive - try and get some feedback from all 6, and make a plan you feel positive about for what you could do if the remaining 2 reject you.

[indi]

What you are describing would cause literally anyone to feel down.

That said, its pretty much part of life to go through rejections like this (everyone does at some point). The best way to deal with it is to get proactive - try and get some feedback from all 6, and make a plan you feel positive about for what you could do if the remaining 2 reject you.

This. I tried getting a different job last year because I was pretty unhappy in the one I had. Since I only applied for jobs I considered a real upgrade and because the market right now is just bad, I didn't get super far - other candidates were just better. That just is depressing: it (temporarily) impacts your self confidence and your hopes for the future.*

Also, it's pretty normal to ask feedback. If other candidates were simply better than you, then it's just bad luck and out of your hands. If it's something that lacked in your presentation of yourself and your accomplishments, it's something you can fix. Just doing something about it already makes you feel more in control. Maybe you can also have another look at programs you did not yet apply for, and send out some more letters?

*I also invested in improving the job situation I had, and finally succeeded in turning it all around over the past months, culminating in confirmation of new job title (includes 'senior' now) and upgrade to full time employment. Two days later the last recruiter who turned me down last year (nicely and for understandable reasons) left me a voicemail to please, please consider coming in for another interview. Called again next day when I was apparently too slow in responding. Lesson? At some point it will turn around for you, for no particular reason (other than that your efforts will pay off at some point) and you will suddenly be in a position to choose.

[Mynxee]

What you are describing would cause literally anyone to feel down.

That said, its pretty much part of life to go through rejections like this (everyone does at some point). The best way to deal with it is to get proactive - try and get some feedback from all 6, and make a plan you feel positive about for what you could do if the remaining 2 reject you.

This. I tried getting a different job last year because I was pretty unhappy in the one I had. Since I only applied for jobs I considered a real upgrade and because the market right now is just bad, I didn't get super far - other candidates were just better. That just is depressing: it (temporarily) impacts your self confidence and your hopes for the future.*

Also, it's pretty normal to ask feedback. If other candidates were simply better than you, then it's just bad luck and out of your hands. If it's something that lacked in your presentation of yourself and your accomplishments, it's something you can fix. Just doing something about it already makes you feel more in control. Maybe you can also have another look at programs you did not yet apply for, and send out some more letters?

*I also invested in improving the job situation I had, and finally succeeded in turning it all around over the past months, culminating in confirmation of new job title (includes 'senior' now) and upgrade to full time employment. Two days later the last recruiter who turned me down last year (nicely and for understandable reasons) left me a voicemail to please, please consider coming in for another interview. Called again next day when I was apparently too slow in responding. Lesson? At some point it will turn around for you, for no particular reason (other than that your efforts will pay off at some point) and you will suddenly be in a position to choose.

Indi is wise, heed her advice.

[Chrien]

Thanks for the advice Lallente and Indi. Unfortunatly I'm not even making it past the first phase so I'm not eligable for feedback (they cull applications down from 1-2k to 400 or so). I suspect its because my transcript is a mess because it includes my grades from my previous attempt at my degree 8 years ago, but theres not much I can do about that. I do have other options, I've been invited to do an honours year (extra year of study, so turning my 3 year degree into a 4 year degree) by two of my lecturers. I actually don't mind doing this, I was really looking forward to going back to work full time in an area that I'm really interested in. I'd gotten ahead of myself mentally and started thinking about what it would be likfe to be working these sorts of jobs, moving cities etc and semi-planning shit, then suddenly it becomes all too apparent that those dreams aren't real just yet.

Anyway, life goes on, I think it was just the cumulative nature of this rejection, so much in 48hours was just too much for me to handle, I'm more than used to being told no both personally and professionally by now but I've never had it happen in bulk in that way :p Thankfully two of my friends who suspected I was a bit down (without me really telling them much) took me out last night, saw a show had some nice food and drank a few beers and just escaped my shit for a night :) Meant I was able to look at a few more programs and apply for one, I doubt the result will be any different but I have to keep trying to have any chance at all.

[indi]

I suspect its because my transcript is a mess because it includes my grades from my previous attempt at my degree 8 years ago, but theres not much I can do about that.

Is there room in your application to simply explain (succinctly) why your transcript is a mess? It might answer questions the people responsible have.


I do have other options, I've been invited to do an honours year (extra year of study, so turning my 3 year degree into a 4 year degree) by two of my lecturers.

That's pretty good and will serve to distinguish you from (many of) your peers.

All in all, truck on. Good to see you are feeling better :)

[Chrien]

Ironically after all the negativity I got through too the next phase of one of the programs and its the program I'm most interested in. Got to do 5 online cognative test things which should be fun >_< Somewhat ironically I was talking to my brother's wife on the phone last night who is an organisational psychologist and has been helping me through the whole process (helped me totally redo my CV and proof read about 20 drafts of various selection criteria I answered) and she was encouraging me saying all it takes is one opportunity.
So all in all feeling much more positive today, I have no idea if I'll even get this job (so many hurdles to go) but its just great to make some sort of progress.

[L'oiseau]

dlbpost: Le sigh..

[L'oiseau]

Finally decided to make use of those free consulting sessions offered by my university.
But in three weeks from now ... which is kinda ... a long time. Which almost puts me off taking it at all.

Life sucks!

Edit:
TMA getting help in germany. Going to regular doc first? Then getting a assignment to a shrink? Letting 5 weeks pass until first meeting is avaiable? And then pay a small fortune for the session or is it covered by health insurance?

Seriously ... i don't know if i really have issues or not. I'm at a point where I see that i could say "i'm just lazy", but i simply cannot concentrate on anything. Then i get depressed and do even less because i have the feeling "there is no use to do anything at all" ... then at night i get anxious about not doing/accomplishing anything and can't sleep (i'm down to roughly 6h-5h sleep per night). Next day i'm so tired i can't concentrate on anything and the loop starts again.

Edit2:
Then i read other ppls problems and think to myself that i shouldn't be such a crybaby and just man up. I shouldn't pester those psychatrists with my insignificant problems. (but are they really insignificant?)
Actually this sounds a lot like what I went through. I think what kept me going until I actually got to see the Counselor/Shrink/whatever was just thinking of it in terms of a checkup or tuneup for my mind. You go to the doctor to get your body checked out and you go to the mechanic to get your car checked out. I was seeking the help of a professional third party to spot the things that I had trouble spotting myself.

[Cortess]

Finally decided to make use of those free consulting sessions offered by my university.
But in three weeks from now ... which is kinda ... a long time. Which almost puts me off taking it at all.

Life sucks!

Edit:
TMA getting help in germany. Going to regular doc first? Then getting a assignment to a shrink? Letting 5 weeks pass until first meeting is avaiable? And then pay a small fortune for the session or is it covered by health insurance?

Seriously ... i don't know if i really have issues or not. I'm at a point where I see that i could say "i'm just lazy", but i simply cannot concentrate on anything. Then i get depressed and do even less because i have the feeling "there is no use to do anything at all" ... then at night i get anxious about not doing/accomplishing anything and can't sleep (i'm down to roughly 6h-5h sleep per night). Next day i'm so tired i can't concentrate on anything and the loop starts again.

Edit2:
Then i read other ppls problems and think to myself that i shouldn't be such a crybaby and just man up. I shouldn't pester those psychatrists with my insignificant problems. (but are they really insignificant?)
Actually this sounds a lot like what I went through. I think what kept me going until I actually got to see the Counselor/Shrink/whatever was just thinking of it in terms of a checkup or tuneup for my mind. You go to the doctor to get your body checked out and you go to the mechanic to get your car checked out. I was seeking the help of a professional third party to spot the things that I had trouble spotting myself.

Actually ... i'm the kind of person who is only going to see a doctor when i'm really ill or in pain. Haven't seen a doctor for about 5 years i think. I almost cancelled this appointment by not bringing in the registration documents in time.

It's kinda funny/sad: For the car we have to go to a mechanic and let him do a checkup or else we loose the warranty and/or insurance. For yourselve though ...

[Al Simmons]

Trying is hard. I don't like trying, it makes me sad.

[Daneel Trevize]

Also, it's not nice when the appointment with the doc gives the impression you're in a worse situation than expected. Hmmf

[Sacul]

Also, it's not nice when the appointment with the doc gives the impression you're in a worse situation than expected. Hmmf
Normal. Most docs of any kind make it look worse. How else can they claim the reason it took them so long to graduate :)

Comorbidity (assuming he mentioned that) is a serious thing and setting the right diagnosis is pretty hard when all you have is textbook knowledge. Currently promoting several peer advocacy programs in my town. For those in the field; howy the harp, pep methodology and fish in the box. All suited mental cases like us and junkies, yes you neckbeard gaming 19 hours a day have serious problem.

[Sacul]

Also, it's not nice when the appointment with the doc gives the impression you're in a worse situation than expected. Hmmf
Normal. Most docs of any kind make it look worse. How else can they claim the reason it took them so long to graduate :)

Comorbidity (assuming he mentioned that) is a serious thing and setting the right diagnosis is pretty hard when all you have is textbook knowledge. Currently promoting several peer advocacy programs in my town. For those in the field; howy the harp, pep methodology and fish in the box. All suited mental cases like us and junkies, yes you neckbeard gaming 19 hours a day have serious problem.

[XenosisReaper]

Also, it's not nice when the appointment with the doc gives the impression you're in a worse situation than expected. Hmmf
Normal. Most docs of any kind make it look worse. How else can they claim the reason it took them so long to graduate :)

Comorbidity (assuming he mentioned that) is a serious thing and setting the right diagnosis is pretty hard when all you have is textbook knowledge. Currently promoting several peer advocacy programs in my town. For those in the field; howy the harp, pep methodology and fish in the box. All suited mental cases like us and junkies, yes you neckbeard gaming 19 hours a day have serious problem.

I read that 3 times and I still don't understand the last 2 sentences.

Describe it to me like i'm 5 (I'm serious, this interests me)

[Daneel Trevize]

Sacul m8 I think you went off on one there and tried to make this about you.

[Viper Shizzle]

Just to throw in some extra on psychologists:Some have access to applied neuroscience in the form of biofeedback (somewhat popular in addiction therapy) and other things that do treat physical aspects of mental disease that I found way more helpful than anything psychiatrists did for me. In the end, if the problem requires a prescription you want a psychiatrist. Some GPs will offer to prescribe anti-depressants ect... but I wouldn't recommend it based on my own experience.

Biofeedback is fucking amazing and it's a shame that the pharma industry is making it irrelevant to mainstream society. I've had the "privilege" to work in a department containing some of the renound and most prolific cognitive neuroscience research in America; biofeedback works wonders for many people (not all) and it's vastly under-utilized.

Also, just as a sidenote (and I know you didn't say it was) but alcoholism most certainly isn't a disease.

[Cortess]

So ... what helps against severe exam nerves/stress + depressiva? So severe that i am afraid of touching a book and learn ...
Drugs? I could get access to some lighter drugs with ease ... i never did drugs though.
Or just go to a doc and ask straight out for something that helps me focusing and cheers me up?

Damn ... i'm fucked. I see me already failing at the exams, making the last 3 years of studying useless.

I'm also in the progress of doing my thesis and it doesn't go well ...

[Aurora148]

So ... what helps against severe exam nerves/stress + depressiva? So severe that i am afraid of touching a book and learn ...
Drugs? I could get access to some lighter drugs with ease ... i never did drugs though.
Or just go to a doc and ask straight out for something that helps me focusing and cheers me up?

Damn ... i'm fucked. I see me already failing at the exams, making the last 3 years of studying useless.

I'm also in the progress of doing my thesis and it doesn't go well ...

Go to a doctor and get an official diagnosis, then inform your course adviser/tutor/ect. If you tell them about it then you have the ability to request extenuating circumstances for resits or to re-take the year. If you don't tell them about it and then you fail, the Uni might not give you any leniency.

[Sponk]

Go to a doctor and get an official diagnosis, then inform your course adviser/tutor/ect. If you tell them about it then you have the ability to request extenuating circumstances for resits or to re-take the year. If you don't tell them about it and then you fail, the Uni might not give you any leniency.

This. I didn't do this, which made things quite awkward.

Taking 5.5 years to do a 4-year degree makes you feel bad enough, without having your GPA trashed as well.

[Cortess]

Will do ... although i always think it's just my own fault and i deserve this and doing this feels like cheating. And even then there'll be the question at some point: Do you want to write this exam or not? Then i'll say "i don't want to, but i have to". Well better be safe than to be sorry i guess? Just a normal doctor? Or directly to a psychologist?

[Aurora148]

Will do ... although i always think it's just my own fault and i deserve this and doing this feels like cheating. And even then there'll be the question at some point: Do you want to write this exam or not? Then i'll say "i don't want to, but i have to". Well better be safe than to be sorry i guess? Just a normal doctor? Or directly to a psychologist?

Depends on where you live. In the UK you would have to go to your GP (family doctor) who would give you a referral to a psychologist.

The important thing is that you get it in the system, then you can go to the Uni and tell them what is happening.

[indi]

Netherlands: I fully expect you'd have to go by the GP as well. You might want to give your tutor (or whoever) a heads up as well. Don't think you are the first student to experience this, accept it and then go work on it. Accepting it is the first step towards doing something about it, so it's not cheating, etc. Your tutor (or whoever) should be able to refer you as well.

/hug.

[Sacul]

Currently promoting several peer advocacy programs in my town. For those in the field; howy the harp, pep methodology and fish in the box. All suited mental cases like us and junkies, yes you neckbeard gaming 19 hours a day have serious problem.

I read that 3 times and I still don't understand the last 2 sentences.

Describe it to me like i'm 5 (I'm serious, this interests me)

ok

Most GP's and Psych's are just pill pushers. Before you know you get a pill against depression that makes you sleep bad so you get a pill for sleeping that makes you anxious so a pill against anxiety etc etc.
Its hard to differentiate between the true problem and the co-morbidity symptoms coming from the source so they just follow a flow chart and before you know it you suddenly have 3 DSM-IV conditions.
Its been proven time and time again that a pill without therapy has a very low succes rate. Pills and therapy combined works pretty well, what works even better is the addition of peer advocacy programs whom are ment to improve and sustain the way back to being a full member of society on a low threshold basis by people who have gone through what you are going through.
To this end there are a lot of peer to peer programs like Howy the Harp- ment for (ex-)homeless with a psych program, PEP or HEE methodolgy- ment for (ex-) psych patients on a peer coaching basis for recovery, stability and empowerment, Fish in the box- empowerment and social recovery program for (ex-) junkies again on a peer basis.
Its pretty amazing to see how peers can easily cut through all the fuzzy symptoms and come to the root source something doctors usually cant (because they lack 'experience').

Agreed my first txt was written very badly, i should stop posting from my phone and doing other things aswell.

I hope this makes it clear, if not ask away.

p.s.
When i say peer advocacy i mean people who have been properly schooled in supporting and empowering other peers. Its a 12 week course (50 hours total spread over 12 weeks) and goes pretty deep so its not just a 'i once stuck a needle in my arm and slept under a bridge so now im le expert ill tell you what to do' kind of thing.

[Cortess]

So i was at the GP and talked about it ... how i feel, what i think. He sent me to a psychologist right away.
Psychologist asked why i didn't came much earlier -.-

Now i'll take one pill every morning, which should make me more "active". And another for before going to bed, so i can sleep better. And ofc the suggestion to have a walk in the morning and seeing a psych for therapy (which i'll ask the one i'm seeing already from my university).

Current problem now: How do i get my new used soundcard to work?

[Mrenda]

So i was at the GP and talked about it ... how i feel, what i think. He sent me to a psychologist right away.
Psychologist asked why i didn't came much earlier -.-

Now i'll take one pill every morning, which should make me more "active". And another for before going to bed, so i can sleep better. And ofc the suggestion to have a walk in the morning and seeing a psych for therapy (which i'll ask the one i'm seeing already from my university).

Current problem now: How do i get my new used soundcard to work?

Don't lay all your hopes on the pills. They take time to work and you may have to mix and match different medication to get some that suits you. There's huge relief in getting help though.

[Dirk Magnum]

But don't expect the worst from the pills either. If clinical depression and/or anxiety are your problems, medication should work... eventually. In my case it's taken 8-9 months of adjusting prescriptions to get to where there's a noticeable positive difference in my mood nearly every day. I've known I've needed help for my anxiety and depression for several years, but had personal reasons (that in hindsight may have been logically misguided) for not getting it. When those personal reasons were no longer a factor I got in touch with a psychiatrist ASAP. To give you an idea of how the course of treatment went (if you're expecting immediate results you're in a for a shock) it was something like this:

October 2011: sleep aid with anxiolytic properties prescribed, with instructions to take it at my own discretion if I needed help with sleep
November: mild anxiolytic prescribed with instructions to take it twice a day
December: No change
January 2012: anxiolytic prescription doubled
February: anti-depressant prescribed to take once a day
March: no change
April: anti-depressant doubled
May: have consistently been feeling positive effects that I can only attribute to the medication

I suspect more adjustment will be needed because alcohol is verboten with this anti-depressant. I've been a heavy drinker since about age 23 with obvious symptoms of alcoholism showing up around age 26, so as I come off the stuff my mood is going to fluctuate. That's what it did in 2010 when I was fully sober for two non-consecutive 5-month periods. Anyway the point here is that if you do regularly consume any kind of intoxicant, it will throw a wild-card factor into your treatment, so you may want to limit or abstain from consumption prior to going on the medication, if possible.

[Lana Torrin]

Lana's History with depression pills - part 1 (possibly out of 1 because im slack)

Ok first off as I said im my own little thread I was never depressed enough to need pills for it. I did however have a friend who was. He got depression much later on than me and it hit him much harder. It was quite obvious to the rest of us he ws getting really bad and so we talked him in to seeing someone, and they prescribed some pills. I dont know what they were.

He was on them for about a week and they effected him quite a lot. He pretty much stopped giving a fuck about anything. And i mean compleatly not giving a fuck. Piss him off? He would just punch you (he hit me once), if he felt like not talking to you he would just walk off mid sentence, if he didnt like something he would just say it was shit and walk off, and if he didnt want to hear what you were telling him he would tell you he didnt care and to save your breath. This was a compleatly diferent person to the person I had known for over 10 years.

He also stopped calling or emailing any of us and generally gave up trying to stay in contact with anyone. He did however stop showing signs of depression, right up until he tried to take him own life. Fortunatly he failed.

Doctors changed his pills after that and pretty much the new ones fixed him enough so therapy could fix him. He eventually got off the pils and is now 'normal' (and has a g/f whos very nice)

So I have mixed feeling about pills for depression. I almost lost a friend to them, but then they also saved him.. So my advice if you are taking these is just fucking listen to your friends. They may have no idea what you are going through and may not be able to help you at all, but they love you and dont want you hurt. They can see things you cant, and want the best for you.

[Mrenda]

The first.set of pills I was on turned.me into.a.zombie. I ad taken.medical.leave.from school and basically woke up everyday at 12pm.spent the next few hours staring at a computer screen and was asleep again by 7pm. This went on for months and I didn't notice or care one bit about it. My mother eventually went into the doctor and demanded she change my pills. When she refused and said I was doing fine my.mother took me out of there and got me an emergency appointment with another doctor who said I was basically being tortured. My pills were changed and my life got.much better. They were changed a third time and there was another improvement so much so that Im actually getting around to sorting stuff out.

Long story short: listen to your friends and family and if your doctor.isn't willing to work with you to find the correct medication then get a good doctor.

[Under]

blah. I don't know where to start. Spending years inside your own head analyzing yourself can lead to complicated and convoluted trains of thought, and even when I try to spill everything it feels like trying to force all of my thoughts into a constricted funnel. The overabundance and disorder of though just makes nothing come out, and makes it difficult to explain things clearly. So prepare for shitpost.

Anyway, im 17 and just now graduating high school, and I've considered myself to be consistently depressed for about two years. It started with intense feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness because of miserable performance in school, shifted to mainly revolve around (largely self-imposed) isolation, has been related to existential anxiety and an absolute panic associated with death as well as an extremely cynical and mechanical view of the world, and of course the classic father/family issues have played a role as well. The exact cause and flavor of my my depression has varied over the years, but the pervasive state of mind has remained, and has reached an all-time low recently.

At the beginning of this school year, following a severe depressive (and angry/frustrated) episode in august, I started talking to a teacher who i was fairly close to, and he recommended seeing a therapist who he had used, and of whom he spoke very highly of. I went for a few months, but I abruptly stopped because I wasn't really connecting with her or being completely honest (which I know is probably my fault), and on some level I wanted to believe that I was better. While attending therapy we did make some progress though in terms of psychoanalysis, but in my limited experience knowing why I'm depressed doesn't make me any less depressed. Some main themes included habitual avoidance of problems/stress, feeling completely different from everyone else, and craving close personal relationships, but not actually knowing anyone who i would want to be with. That last part was challenged coincidentally just after stopping therapy when I met a girl who is the only person that i've felt connected to and comfortable with. Of course this turned out to be a double edged sword because she both has a boyfriend and moved away to college last year, so the closer we became, the more frustrated I became that she was out of reach. This situation deserves it's own post in the emo thread, and I'm already rambling enough in this post so I won't delve into details here.

The end of this school year saw me failing half my classes and having the lowest GPA in my class despite having the highest SAT's. I all but completely cut off all social contact and instead of spending every weekend possible at a friend's house or at least attempting to be social, I've just isolated myself in my house, listening to cheery stuff such as Elliott Smith and Radiohead, and spending most my time either staring at my monitor or staring at my ceiling in bed. I stopped working out or caring about my health in general, even though judging my family history I have an express ticket to heart disease if I'm not active. In short, I completely stopped caring about everything. However, the apathy is mixed with the nagging knowledge that I'm burning my bridges and sabotaging myself by withdrawing from reality, but that's only enough to make me depressed, but not to actually change. Realizing how damaging my behavior is only leads to more depression, with leads to more withdrawl to cope with it. Hence why I started playing Eve and browsing FHC again.

I'm not really sure what I'm expecting out of this post, if anything, but catharsis is normally a healthy thing, and I feel more comfortable sharing things with a bunch of anonymous internet spaceship pilots than people I actually know. Cheers, sorry for incoherent shitpost.

[Daneel Trevize]

Firstly, :brofist: and/or :hug:, whichever you would rather.

Secondly, honestly do find some physical activity (don't roll eyes, keep reading, trust me a sec) because it does make you feel just better and also distracts you from your current thoughts. I dug out my old bike and have honestly felt so much better for getting out on it for just a few hours a week. It doesn't solve any of my problems with my life & psychology but it is far nicer to have done it than the alternatives. For you it might be walking/hiking/jogging/swimming/something more social, but any physical thing really is nice to do, plus after the first few times of feeling so un-use to it you can then see slight progress and achievement in improving your basic fitness & ability.
For all the lack of motivational goals for your life at the moment, trying some casual activity might spark some interest or focus your thoughts, and you really aren't risking much by just giving it a few goes.

[Raine Woot]

Under, it sounds like you're very hard on yourself. You don't need to be that way, it's like carrying the weight of the world around and makes it hard to do anything at all. Possibly you have people that expect better of you (not least of all yourself) and it's excruciating when you don't live up to it. It's easy to think that carrying that shit around will force you to start taking care of it, but really it just weighs you down. The only way you'll feel like improving is by shrugging it all off and realizing that you don't need to be perfect or even great. Don't ignore your mistakes, but don't let them define you either.

I can't tell you how, but you've got to let it go and forgive yourself. For me it was easy once I tried, mainly because I felt so amazingly better, but it's not for everyone.

disclaimer: Going on my own experience around your age, your post reminds me a lot of where my head was at the time. Feel free to ignore if it doesn't apply.

[Under]

Yeah I really need to get back into the gym and i was thinking of getting back into swimming, since it's actually enjoyable as well as being healthy. That said though, when I had my first major deppresive episode, my solution was the start working out heavily, 1-2 hours a day, 3-4 days a week. The endorphins and the self-image boost helped a bit, but it was largely temporary. I'd feel good for a few hours after working out, and then sink back down again. It was helpful as a hobby though, since it gave me something to think about and strive for, even when i wasn't in the gym. So yeah, it helps, and I'll probably pick it up again, but it isn't a cure. And thanks for the brofist

edit for raine's post: I'm definitely more disappointed in myself than my parents or anyone else is, partially because my parents largely don't know what the fuck is going on as far as I'm concerned. One interesting thing that I noticed is that I almost feel as though I should be depressed, given my circumstances, and feeling happy feels a little bit wrong. Maybe because being depressed helps justify my behavior to myself, or maybe because it's become part of my identity. not sure.

[Larkonis Trassler]

NM

[Under]

Just talk to someone private instead of a military psychologist. They're legally bound to keep everything confidential, and even if people find out that you're seeing psychologist, you can just say it's because of personal reasons or relationship/family issues or something.

[Sparq]

I guess it would save me a lot of typing to say I think that I'm in a very similar place to you, Under - except that I'm 26, not 17. My own symptoms probably started around the same time in my life as where you're at now.

I'm ... really starting to hit walls now. I don't want to go into details here, but suffice to say I'm finally starting to cogitate the notion that if I don't do something about it soon, things are only going to get much worse for me.

I've tried using the Australian mental health website http://www.beyondblue.org.au but all the box checking I was doing there just left me feeling like I was either worse off than I'd thought (which just ratcheted up my anxiety) or becoming a fucking hypochondriac. Eventually though, I learnt about the condition Dysthymia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disthymia).

I'm not self-diagnosing - in fact, I've finally made an appointment for next week to talk to my new G.P. about what I'm going through to see what it is and what can be done about it - but at the same time it feels like a tiny little weight has shifted off of me to at least be able to put a name to how I've felt almost all my adult life. It has always been extremely confusing for me to feel depressed so often, but not feel what I would consider to be actively suicidal - being raised to see those two things as going hand-in-hand with one another I was left feeling confused and just thinking this was how things have to be.



That being said, I'm as anxious about the appointment as I am glad to have finally made it. I'm fairly introverted at the best of times, and it's all well and good for a website to tell me to see my G.P. but I'm fucked if I know how to broach the subject.

I'm also just about terrified by the idea of going onto MAOIs and tricyclic antidepressants. My dad has been on a tricyclic antidepressant for twenty years and as much as I love him I don't necessarily want to end up like him, pharmacologically speaking.

[tekai]

blah ...

Welcome younger me! I'm not you, but when I was my final years at school I felt & behaved very much the same. I withdrew from friends & family and instead made friends on irc. I didn't go to any parties at school, when they went out for drinks I sat at home. In one semester I failed the maximum of classes you're allowed to. I listened to sad stuff. Women were fantasies gazed upon from afar, yet I yearned so deeply for personal connections.

The good news is you're young, the world might suck, but you're not alone and others have found ways to manage the same issues.
What got me out of that was having to wake up (or failing school) and therapy. It took me a while but I rekindled friendships, got my HS diploma went to uni and swore I never want to end up in such a state again.
I guess the kicker here really is getting professional help & trying to make RL friends. I suspect your overcritical ego is hindering that, until recently I did that a lot, overanalyzed & then feared stuff.
The therapist can help you face your fears, look at them for what they are and not what they seem to be. Knowing whats "wrong" doesn't fix things, but it's a first step of finding out what your issues are. F you have a clearer picture of them it's a lot easier to deal with them. At least that is my personal experience.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

updated the OP with a little note on medication

[Viper Shizzle]

Even though I don't really post ITT anymore, I wanted to add the disclaimer that I fucking hate the DSM and think that it's actually harmful in some situations to constrain diagnoses to a model which fails to take several factors into consideration. I'm also pretty heavily against the use of medication in MOST instances. I understand and completely agree that medication can be helpful for many people but the current American standard of pill pushing is oft dangerous and counter-effective.

That being said, please ALWAYS talk to your GP if you think something's off mentally or are feeling different than "normal" for an extended period of time (use your own judgement). If you've had poor experiences with the psychiatry community in the past it's important to remember that each practitioner is different. If it's a reasonable option for you, consider seeking a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist; there is a large difference in methodology and training (at least in the states) and while they both use the same tools for diagnoses their treatment options and diagnosis opinions are often different.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Turf fight incoming.

:)

[Sacul]

Even though I don't really post ITT anymore, I wanted to add the disclaimer that I fucking hate the DSM and think that it's actually harmful in some situations to constrain diagnoses to a model which fails to take several factors into consideration. I'm also pretty heavily against the use of medication in MOST instances. I understand and completely agree that medication can be helpful for many people but the current American standard of pill pushing is oft dangerous and counter-effective.


I agree but given the era pre-DSM i thinks its a step up. Especially fighting stigma and preconcieved baseless judgements.
The thing that i do hate about it is the 'Bible' like status it has in Holland. If it isnt in the DSM you must be faking it and usually no medical insurance coverage also the co-morbidity aspects are pretty much taken as a given leading to many a mistaken diagnosis.

I do laugh at lots of random stuff in there tho that i can see being potentially harmfull. In the upcoming DSM-V (i understand it will get a diferent name but w/e) ADHD will be classed under 'autism spectrum syndrome'. Pretty sure lots of people will rage at this.

[XenosisReaper]

As somebody who was diagnosed and medicated for ADHD, I have no hesitation in saying that it's complete bullshit. Looking back on it, all of my "concentration" issues were caused by a) being a snotty bastard, b) no parental discipline or boundaries and c) a messy divorce between my parents ending in a pretty public suicide. However no, "Drug him and it'll be fine" was the decision.

I still get slightly mad when I hear soccer mums lamenting little timmy's attention issues whilst sitting at work.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Going off of sertraline. Withdrawal symptoms thus far are nausea, abdominal cramps, headaches, lethargy, and mild insomnia. Meh, cake walk in comparison to opiate withdrawal.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

Going off of sertraline. Withdrawal symptoms thus far are nausea, abdominal cramps, headaches, lethargy, and mild insomnia. Meh, cake walk in comparison to opiate withdrawal.

Dumbass.

2 hours sleep in the past 48. Still feeling nauseous with a slight headache and obvious lethargy. Best bit though, no suicidal ideation (which was my biggest fear). Not a cake walk anymore, but after the next few days I'll be on the other side of this.

[Daneel Trevize]

Am getting referred to people in a city 20miles away. Like p much everything atm, not sure if want. :?

[lt]

Going off of sertraline. Withdrawal symptoms thus far are nausea, abdominal cramps, headaches, lethargy, and mild insomnia. Meh, cake walk in comparison to opiate withdrawal.

Dumbass.

2 hours sleep in the past 48. Still feeling nauseous with a slight headache and obvious lethargy. Best bit though, no suicidal ideation (which was my biggest fear). Not a cake walk anymore, but after the next few days I'll be on the other side of this.

Keep strong Fmar! Or just endure if you're not feeling strong!

I wish I never have to go through shit like that.

[Sacul]

Going off of sertraline. Withdrawal symptoms thus far are nausea, abdominal cramps, headaches, lethargy, and mild insomnia. Meh, cake walk in comparison to opiate withdrawal.

Dumbass.

2 hours sleep in the past 48. Still feeling nauseous with a slight headache and obvious lethargy. Best bit though, no suicidal ideation (which was my biggest fear). Not a cake walk anymore, but after the next few days I'll be on the other side of this.

bigup mate!

Having gone through Seroquel withdrawl symptoms myself recently i know what a hell it can be. 5-8 days for sertaline (zoloft) i read so keep strong just a few more days and it will be getting alot better.

Why the discontinuation of the meds? Replacement meds? going of them completely?

[definatelynotKKassandra]

Hold fast bro.


TMA long term usage of venlafaxine (efexor). Does it do Bad Things, in anyone's experience? I ask because I am currently on 150mg daily, and have been for ~3 years. It seemed to help with the problems I was having at the time, and am currently bumbling along without any problems that can't be sorted by getting a grip of myself.

Obviously the sensible person to ask is my doc, but I thought I would canvass experiences here as well. He floated the idea of tapering off it about a year ago, but hasn't brought it up again since. All other things being equal, I'm loathe to change something that seems to be working - but I worry about any potential long-term brain chemistry fucking. The hideous withdrawal symptoms if I miss a day (although I imagine they're nothing compared to the shit some people have from stronger meds) make me simultaneously unwilling to try coming off, and worried about the effect of staying on. This is quite apart from the actual effect is has on my mood, which I would rather not lose without a good reason.

[F*** My Aunt Rita]

bigup mate!

Having gone through Seroquel withdrawl symptoms myself recently i know what a hell it can be. 5-8 days for sertaline (zoloft) i read so keep strong just a few more days and it will be getting alot better.

Why the discontinuation of the meds? Replacement meds? going of them completely?

I had been on sertraline for about 15 years. I've been stable for most of that and it just feels like it's time to do it to see what normal may be like. I'm feeling better now, got some sleep and not so much nausea now.

[Lana Torrin]

bigup mate!

Having gone through Seroquel withdrawl symptoms myself recently i know what a hell it can be. 5-8 days for sertaline (zoloft) i read so keep strong just a few more days and it will be getting alot better.

Why the discontinuation of the meds? Replacement meds? going of them completely?

I had been on sertraline for about 15 years. I've been stable for most of that and it just feels like it's time to do it to see what normal may be like. I'm feeling better now, got some sleep and not so much nausea now.

Good. Haven't seen you in a few days and I was worrying.

[Sparq]

Finally got myself to the new doctor today. Aside from the introduction, had a chat about how I was feeling.

Getting blood work done to rule out some family history stuff, mostly tied to the thyroid. If nothing shows there, on to seeing a psychologist. Or a psychiatrist, I know they're two different things (and why) but I did not catch which one she actually said. Derp.

Anyway, it's progress at least.

[Sacul]

Finally got myself to the new doctor today. Aside from the introduction, had a chat about how I was feeling.

Getting blood work done to rule out some family history stuff, mostly tied to the thyroid. If nothing shows there, on to seeing a psychologist. Or a psychiatrist, I know they're two different things (and why) but I did not catch which one she actually said. Derp.

Anyway, it's progress at least.

Recommending a psychologist over a psychiatrist for the first intake or weeks erry day. Also dont accept any pill prescribed without informing yourself. They might be proffesionals but they also love dem pills way to much.

[Sparq]

Thanks Sacul. Hopefully then, she did say psychologist. She did seem pretty on the ball with everything.

As I may have said before, I'm incredibly nervous about the mere idea of going onto medication down the track because I'm already dealing with a parent in that situation. So I will be just about burying myself in information before I take anything I may yet be prescribed - but I'll face crossing that bridge if I come to it.

[Sacul]

Thanks Sacul. Hopefully then, she did say psychologist. She did seem pretty on the ball with everything.

As I may have said before, I'm incredibly nervous about the mere idea of going onto medication down the track because I'm already dealing with a parent in that situation. So I will be just about burying myself in information before I take anything I may yet be prescribed - but I'll face crossing that bridge if I come to it.

So how did it go?

[Sparq]

TUNE IN FOR OUR NEXT THRILLING EPISODE, etc.

I met with my doctor again today and we discussed my blood results. I seem to be in the clear for everything I was tested for - type 2 diabetes, thyroid function, kidneys, iron levels and some other things I forget now (non-specific inflammation?) - except that something went wrong with the liver test and that needs to be repeated.

So at this juncture, I appear almost perfectly healthy - except in my head.

woo

So she (Dr) faxed some forms off and I'm sitting at home now waiting for a phone call that I guess will consist of some kind of mental health assessment. IIRC, telephone triage is pretty popular now for this sort of thing.

[Daneel Trevize]

Well, remember to put enough Stront in the bay...

[Sacul]

TUNE IN FOR OUR NEXT THRILLING EPISODE, etc.

I met with my doctor again today and we discussed my blood results. I seem to be in the clear for everything I was tested for - type 2 diabetes, thyroid function, kidneys, iron levels and some other things I forget now (non-specific inflammation?) - except that something went wrong with the liver test and that needs to be repeated.

So at this juncture, I appear almost perfectly healthy - except in my head.

woo

So she (Dr) faxed some forms off and I'm sitting at home now waiting for a phone call that I guess will consist of some kind of mental health assessment. IIRC, telephone triage is pretty popular now for this sort of thing.
ah well its progress i guess

[Daneel Trevize]

:(

Having a bad day? Post about it on MMORPG webforum.

...

Double :(

[Daneel Trevize]

Hey indi, cheers for that extra kick when I'm down, I wasn't trying to be funny but talking about myself, you derp. I actually had got back from a shit session with my shrink and the most reliable human contact option at the time was this (sometimes) god-awful site. No :hug: for you next time (unless you post more food porn or something)